Wit and Wisdom DDY Style

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Wit and Wisdom DDY Style

Postby Boomchild » Sat Apr 16, 2016 10:03 am

I always get a laugh from DDY's musings. From a recent FB post:

Hey kids,

Remember these are meant to make you smile and it's very long.

Seedless watermelon isn't.

"New and improved" means they have figured out how to make it cheaper and not as good.

Digital volume controls suck

Posting pictures of your food is like listening to your album cover.

Do sports talk radio guys realize that they have microphones or is constant shouting a requirement.

Taxation is simple we want those who earn one dollar more a year than us to be in the higher tax bracket. Makes sense.

Remember "Mistakes were made" has no name, social security card nor reflections in a mirror. They magically make themselves.

Dancing with the Stars though very popular is yet to have an actual one.

Murderers on 48 hour mystery, Dateline, Forensic Files et al...put your money in Vegas on the spouse you'll be able to retire.

People say "look" when they mean listen.

When politicians or talking heads say "clearly" it means according to me.

Plasma tv's are still the best which is why they stopped making them. The new l.e.d.'s make everything except live sports look like video tape, yipes!

I have loved the Tesla S from the moment I first test drove it three years ago. There has never been anything like it and I should have bought the stock that day. The P 85 is so instantly fast, wear diapers if you drive it. They now have a car that's more affordable. (I don't own stock)

How To get Away With Murder gets away with it. I need a detective on Law and Order to explain what the hell is going on.

I admit it Suzanne and I watch reruns of Law and Order and SVU even when we have already seen them. Pathetic.

For me there has never been a funnier show then Everybody Loves Raymond. I try not to have food in my mouth when I'm watching, it can get messy.

Fargo season two should win an Emmy. I enjoyed season one but I didn't want season two to end. I understand the North Dakota state bird is the Wood Chipper.

STOP DO NOT READ ON I MIGHT MAKE FUN OF YOUR CANDIDATE OR YOUR VIEWS

Bernie Sanders Marx his spot. He wants us to be more like Denmark. Wasn't Hamlet a Dane?

All the Von Trumps appear on a town hall on CNN, did I hear Edelweiss playing in the background or Do Re Mi.

Heir Maestro was immediately hailed by his Trumpeteers.

Ted Cruz was actually created by Disney for 101 Dalmatians but at the last minute they picked Cruella, she was more likable.

John "Aw shucks" Kasich is slouching his way to defeat. He's far too reasonable for this political season. Would it hurt hurt to act a little presidential. We'd have to change the song to "Hail to that Guy".

Hillary "I never had relations with that email sever" Clinton knows its sole purpose was to hide stuff and so do you. The vast right wing conspiracy made her do it.

On a recent trip to Argentina President Obama realizes to late it takes 2 to tango.

Reince Priebus is Latin for unemployed.

Remembering D.C. Mayor Marion Barry's arrest and conviction for smoking crack cocaine on hidden camera only to be reelected by his constituents tells us volumes about voters. I they choose to believe NO amount of rational thought nor facts can pry em loose.

Who then am I for. I'm for you until I discover you don't like my position on bicycle lanes. I'm not announcing it here, don't want to ruin my chances.

My basic political requirements are the following:

Any candidate must acknowledge that there are those in our neighborhoods and around the world who would gladly hit us over our heads and take everything we own if no one was there to stop them. Please no naïveté about the inherent goodness of man.

Also please allow folks to keep as much of the money they legally earn while acknowledging the real necessity in aiding those who are truly in need. We must contribute to the common good which includes people but vital national infrastructure as well.

I realize the last bit opens the door for a lot of shenanigans involving humans and politicians which are similar to humans. We the people must be diligent and yes pay attention.

I am not a fan of the words " deserve" or "fair". My observation is the universe does not play by the rules of fairness, and nobody deserves nuttin. Not you, not me. Right now you could list a myriad of things you feel you "deserve" but alas life's not "fair". One persons fairness is another's unfairness.

Watching the movies Spotlight and The Big Short back to back automatically turns all optimism into cynicism. These films along with the primary season may have led to this post.

I will leave you on a lighter note.

Yesterday I was closing out a storage unit of valuables that I haven't looked at in three years to combine them with another unit to save moola. (Valuables, sure they were.) Could not find the key so I called a locksmith. Drove right to the unit and handed him the key with a giant ring stating the unit number. Jumped back in the car for a phone call only to come out and find he had picked the lock off the unit next to mine and put my new lock in there. I snuck a peek at my neighbors valuables but spied what appeared to be a decomposing corpse(not true). That's it no more Law and Order for me. We did get it straightened out but later I discovered in medical school the locksmith guy once operated on the wrong leg. Little known fact most failed surgeons become lock smiths. (No they don't)

Cheers Dennis
"If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter." George Washington
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Re: Wit and Wisdom DDY Style

Postby Abitaman » Fri Apr 22, 2016 2:11 am

"For me there has never been a funnier show then Everybody Loves Raymond. I try not to have food in my mouth when I'm watching, it can get messy."-DDY

Too true, finishing up season 9 on Netflix. Must say season 8 was weak, but the rest is truly funny.
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