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Band Wreckers and the Happy Bands They Destroy
Posted Thu Nov 20, 2008 5:30am PST by Shawn Amos in GetBack
Band wreckers are the worst kind of singers. They are those dudes who take advantage of an unstable group relationship and insert themselves in the middle. They break into a band and destroy their happy home. And who suffers? The children do. The children always suffer. All of those fans whose childhood memories of beloved bands are forever dashed by seeing step-singers replace their favorite vocalists.
These interlopers may take their hijacked groups to new commercial heights, but it's always a Pyrrhic victory. Their success is without honor. In most cases, however, the band wrecker gets to travel with his eloped bandmates on the road to career oblivion and package tours at county fairgrounds. It's a fate they deserve for cheating in the first place. Cheaters never win. You hear that, Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones? You can't replace Robert Plant. A band makes a promise that's as deep as a marital vow: 'til death do us part. Remember that before you decide to hit the road with the winner of some Led Zeppelin sound-a-like contest.
In fairness, I have to blame the band too. It takes two to make a thing go right — or wrong. These bands know better and so should their second-rate frontman replacements. So, here are the worst band wreckers ever. They all have a special place in rock hell reserved for them. A place where hack tribute groups play all day and Barry Manilow plays all night.
VAN HALEN with SAMMY HAGAR
Van Halen are serial cheaters. First they broke up with David Lee Roth for Sammy Hagar. Then they cheated on Sammy for Gary Cherone. THEN they bring back Diamond Dave but boot bassist Michael Anthony. The Sammy affair is the most painful, though. It's like seeing an ex-spouse make a bunch of money after you split.
INXS with JD FORTUNE
OK, their lead singer died, but no one deserved such a shameless disrespect to Michael Hutchence's memory. And then the best they can do is some Vegas wannabe Lizard King named JD Fortune? They should have just formed a whole new band and changed their name. They could have called themselves NOXS.
THE DOORS with IAN ASTBURY
These guys actually DID change their name — TWICE. They’ve called themselves Doors of the 21st Century and Riders on the Storm, but it didn't matter or help. This was a total train wreck in every way. Thankfully, Ian Astbury came to his senses and returned his real family, the Cult.
QUEEN with PAUL RODGERS
The remaining members of Queen think that keeping Paul Rodgers’ name separate from the band name on the marquee will cause people to forget that he's not a band wrecker. Wrong! He's still a band wrecker, and Freddie is turning over in his grave for sure.
JOURNEY with About Every Other Singer in the World
This band has gone through three different lead singers all trying to replace the signature man-chick wail of original vocalist Steve Perry. Each one had been a bigger embarrassment than the last. In the immortal words of Pete Townshend, "It's the singer not the song that makes the music move along."
See more singers who’ve ruined good bands in our Band Wreckers FlipBook.
Posted Thu Nov 20, 2008 5:30am PST by Shawn Amos in GetBack
Band wreckers are the worst kind of singers. They are those dudes who take advantage of an unstable group relationship and insert themselves in the middle. They break into a band and destroy their happy home. And who suffers? The children do. The children always suffer. All of those fans whose childhood memories of beloved bands are forever dashed by seeing step-singers replace their favorite vocalists.
These interlopers may take their hijacked groups to new commercial heights, but it's always a Pyrrhic victory. Their success is without honor. In most cases, however, the band wrecker gets to travel with his eloped bandmates on the road to career oblivion and package tours at county fairgrounds. It's a fate they deserve for cheating in the first place. Cheaters never win. You hear that, Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones? You can't replace Robert Plant. A band makes a promise that's as deep as a marital vow: 'til death do us part. Remember that before you decide to hit the road with the winner of some Led Zeppelin sound-a-like contest.
In fairness, I have to blame the band too. It takes two to make a thing go right — or wrong. These bands know better and so should their second-rate frontman replacements. So, here are the worst band wreckers ever. They all have a special place in rock hell reserved for them. A place where hack tribute groups play all day and Barry Manilow plays all night.
VAN HALEN with SAMMY HAGAR
Van Halen are serial cheaters. First they broke up with David Lee Roth for Sammy Hagar. Then they cheated on Sammy for Gary Cherone. THEN they bring back Diamond Dave but boot bassist Michael Anthony. The Sammy affair is the most painful, though. It's like seeing an ex-spouse make a bunch of money after you split.
INXS with JD FORTUNE
OK, their lead singer died, but no one deserved such a shameless disrespect to Michael Hutchence's memory. And then the best they can do is some Vegas wannabe Lizard King named JD Fortune? They should have just formed a whole new band and changed their name. They could have called themselves NOXS.
THE DOORS with IAN ASTBURY
These guys actually DID change their name — TWICE. They’ve called themselves Doors of the 21st Century and Riders on the Storm, but it didn't matter or help. This was a total train wreck in every way. Thankfully, Ian Astbury came to his senses and returned his real family, the Cult.
QUEEN with PAUL RODGERS
The remaining members of Queen think that keeping Paul Rodgers’ name separate from the band name on the marquee will cause people to forget that he's not a band wrecker. Wrong! He's still a band wrecker, and Freddie is turning over in his grave for sure.
JOURNEY with About Every Other Singer in the World
This band has gone through three different lead singers all trying to replace the signature man-chick wail of original vocalist Steve Perry. Each one had been a bigger embarrassment than the last. In the immortal words of Pete Townshend, "It's the singer not the song that makes the music move along."
See more singers who’ve ruined good bands in our Band Wreckers FlipBook.