MR

This weekend my wife and I got into a little dispute over the best way to kill a crab when preparing it to eat. She tells me to just toss it in a pot of boiling water while it’s still alive. The thought of that freaks me out a little. So instead, I took the fucking thing, set it down on the wooden cutting board, and rammed a twenty-four inch kettle fork straight down through it’s entire body and then held it over the sink by the handle of the fork for a few moments until it’s legs all stopped twitching. I then dropped it into the pot of boiling water. She was right next to me when I did it cause we usually both work side by side in the kitchen when preparing our meals together. She screamed at me about how I didn’t do it the right way and about how it won’t taste right after it’s cooked or something. It wasn’t a big deal to me because I don’t eat that specific crustacean anyways. It’s the venereal crab of the ocean to me.

So is she right about this or does it make any difference one way or the other?

I hear you can get an ointment for them at the drug store.

Jeremey wrote:I hear you can get an ointment for them at the drug store.

Yeah, or just sit in a pool until the all drown.

Jeremey wrote:I hear you can get an ointment for them at the drug store.

Ointments are so....yesterday. Try a salve....Perhaps I just like saying SALVE.....

Jeremey wrote:I hear you can get an ointment for them at the drug store.

*applauds*

...But to answer the question, just throw them in the water, Sushi.

The Sushi Hunter wrote:

Jeremey wrote:I hear you can get an ointment for them at the drug store.

Yeah, or just sit in a pool until the all drown.

Didn't you see "The Last American Virgin"?? That doesn't work!

The Sushi Hunter wrote:This weekend my wife and I got into a little dispute over the best way to kill a crab when preparing it to eat. She tells me to just toss it in a pot of boiling water while it’s still alive. The thought of that freaks me out a little. So instead, I took the fucking thing, set it down on the wooden cutting board, and rammed a twenty-four inch kettle fork straight down through it’s entire body and then held it over the sink for a few moments until it’s legs all stopped twitching. I then dropped it into the pot of boiling water. She was right next to me when I did it cause we usually both work side by side in the kitchen when preparing our meals together. She screamed at me about how I didn’t do it the right way and about how it won’t taste right after it’s cooked or something. It wasn’t a big deal to me because I don’t eat that specific crustacean anyways. It’s the venereal crab of the ocean to me.

So is she right about this or does it make any difference one way or the other?

That's the way you're supposed to cook lobster, too!!! But once I hear the lobster
clanging around in the pot of boiling water, fighting for their lives I cannot eat them....
Bring it to me dead or not at all.....I don't want to see my food smiling and happy before I see
it on my plate!!!

Michigan Girl wrote:

The Sushi Hunter wrote:This weekend my wife and I got into a little dispute over the best way to kill a crab when preparing it to eat. She tells me to just toss it in a pot of boiling water while it’s still alive. The thought of that freaks me out a little. So instead, I took the fucking thing, set it down on the wooden cutting board, and rammed a twenty-four inch kettle fork straight down through it’s entire body and then held it over the sink for a few moments until it’s legs all stopped twitching. I then dropped it into the pot of boiling water. She was right next to me when I did it cause we usually both work side by side in the kitchen when preparing our meals together. She screamed at me about how I didn’t do it the right way and about how it won’t taste right after it’s cooked or something. It wasn’t a big deal to me because I don’t eat that specific crustacean anyways. It’s the venereal crab of the ocean to me.

So is she right about this or does it make any difference one way or the other?

That's the way you're supposed to cook lobster, too!!! But once I hear the lobster
clanging around in the pot of boiling water, fighting for their lives I cannot eat them....
Bring it to me dead or not at all.....I don't want to see my food smiling and happy before I see
it on my plate!!!

I need this image before me everytime I eat so I can lose ten pounds.

Michigan Girl wrote:

The Sushi Hunter wrote:This weekend my wife and I got into a little dispute over the best way to kill a crab when preparing it to eat. She tells me to just toss it in a pot of boiling water while it’s still alive. The thought of that freaks me out a little. So instead, I took the fucking thing, set it down on the wooden cutting board, and rammed a twenty-four inch kettle fork straight down through it’s entire body and then held it over the sink for a few moments until it’s legs all stopped twitching. I then dropped it into the pot of boiling water. She was right next to me when I did it cause we usually both work side by side in the kitchen when preparing our meals together. She screamed at me about how I didn’t do it the right way and about how it won’t taste right after it’s cooked or something. It wasn’t a big deal to me because I don’t eat that specific crustacean anyways. It’s the venereal crab of the ocean to me.

So is she right about this or does it make any difference one way or the other?

That's the way you're supposed to cook lobster, too!!! But once I hear the lobster
clanging around in the pot of boiling water, fighting for their lives I cannot eat them.... Bring it to me dead or not at all.....I don't want to see my food smiling and happy before I see
it on my plate!!!

I think I'm going to be ill.

Michigan Girl wrote:That's the way you're supposed to cook lobster, too!!! But once I hear the lobster
clanging around in the pot of boiling water, fighting for their lives I cannot eat them....
Bring it to me dead or not at all.....I don't want to see my food smiling and happy before I see
it on my plate!!!

I now have a no cow/no pig clause in my diet. Basically I've decided not to eat anything you can milk. Pigs seem to beg for their lives when being slaughtered. Cows are tortured for years before they are offed. Lobsters, on the other hand, don't even technically have a brain and look delicious when dressed in drawn butter.

Best way to prepare a lobster: Go to Kroger, talk to the lobsters they have in the tank there. Pick the one that seems most arrogant. Let the Kroger butcher slide that badboy into the Cleveland Steamer (it's a real steamer) and wave goodbye. Come back in 15 minutes and that uppity bastard ain't sayin' much NOW, is he? Crack open his back and eat the delicious goo inside.

The Sushi Hunter wrote:This weekend my wife and I got into a little dispute over the best way to kill a crab when preparing it to eat. She tells me to just toss it in a pot of boiling water while it’s still alive. The thought of that freaks me out a little. So instead, I took the fucking thing, set it down on the wooden cutting board, and rammed a twenty-four inch kettle fork straight down through it’s entire body and then held it over the sink by the handle of the fork for a few moments until it’s legs all stopped twitching. I then dropped it into the pot of boiling water. She was right next to me when I did it cause we usually both work side by side in the kitchen when preparing our meals together. She screamed at me about how I didn’t do it the right way and about how it won’t taste right after it’s cooked or something. It wasn’t a big deal to me because I don’t eat that specific crustacean anyways. It’s the venereal crab of the ocean to me.

So is she right about this or does it make any difference one way or the other?

Holy shit, what are you doing?:D
Your Mrs is right.
I live in Maryland we cook crab like no other. You steam them live,bro.
Try this~ http://www.bluecrab.info/steaming_crabs.htm
If you don't have Old Bay seasoning in your area,order it online.
THE BEST seasoning on earth.

Jeremey wrote:
I now have a no cow/no pig clause in my diet. Basically I've decided not to eat anything you can milk. Pigs seem to beg for their lives when being slaughtered.

dont you like bacon?

OK---Here's the dilly-O...

You can actually temporarily paralyze the crab by flipping him/her on it's back and rubbing it's belly for about 20 seconds. Once it's in it's stupefied state, drop the poor bastard in the boiling water. It will be dead before it regains consciousness.
My sister in law is a chef in California and she will not prepare any lobsters for cooking, even though they're on the menu. She looks at them as large insects with feelings. Generally chefs that don't feel boiling is humane will slit the lobster's spinal cord before boiling.

you can try tickling it to death

Uno_up wrote:OK---Here's the dilly-O...

You can actually temporarily paralyze the crab by flipping him/her on it's back and rubbing it's belly for about 20 seconds. Once it's in it's stupefied state, drop the poor bastard in the boiling water. It will be dead before it regains consciousness.
My sister in law is a chef in California and she will not prepare any lobsters for cooking, even though they're on the menu. She looks at them as large insects with feelings. Generally chefs that don't feel boiling is humane will slit the lobster's spinal cord before boiling.

That's awesome! I didn't know that. Now if there was a way to rub those baby cows on their belly to hypnotize them before they're turned into little cutlets...?

larryfromnextdoor wrote:

Jeremey wrote:
I now have a no cow/no pig clause in my diet. Basically I've decided not to eat anything you can milk. Pigs seem to beg for their lives when being slaughtered.

dont you like bacon?

I love bacon and steak.....But my current thoughts on eating them probably wouldn't be too popular in TX!

Jeremey wrote:

larryfromnextdoor wrote:

Jeremey wrote:
I now have a no cow/no pig clause in my diet. Basically I've decided not to eat anything you can milk. Pigs seem to beg for their lives when being slaughtered.

dont you like bacon?

I love bacon and steak.....But my current thoughts on eating them probably wouldn't be too popular in TX!

Sabrina told him he's not allowed!

Jeremey wrote:

larryfromnextdoor wrote:

Jeremey wrote:
I now have a no cow/no pig clause in my diet. Basically I've decided not to eat anything you can milk. Pigs seem to beg for their lives when being slaughtered.

dont you like bacon?

I love bacon and steak.....But my current thoughts on eating them probably wouldn't be too popular in TX!

kill it .. grill it .. get drunk..

Uno_up wrote:OK---Here's the dilly-O...

You can actually temporarily paralyze the crab by flipping him/her on it's back and rubbing it's belly for about 20 seconds. .

dude,, this is for SHARKS ONLY.. your going to cause someone to lose a finger..


.. "in my belly"

Michigan Girl wrote:

The Sushi Hunter wrote:This weekend my wife and I got into a little dispute over the best way to kill a crab when preparing it to eat. She tells me to just toss it in a pot of boiling water while it’s still alive. The thought of that freaks me out a little. So instead, I took the fucking thing, set it down on the wooden cutting board, and rammed a twenty-four inch kettle fork straight down through it’s entire body and then held it over the sink for a few moments until it’s legs all stopped twitching. I then dropped it into the pot of boiling water. She was right next to me when I did it cause we usually both work side by side in the kitchen when preparing our meals together. She screamed at me about how I didn’t do it the right way and about how it won’t taste right after it’s cooked or something. It wasn’t a big deal to me because I don’t eat that specific crustacean anyways. It’s the venereal crab of the ocean to me.

So is she right about this or does it make any difference one way or the other?

That's the way you're supposed to cook lobster, too!!! But once I hear the lobster
clanging around in the pot of boiling water, fighting for their lives I cannot eat them....
Bring it to me dead or not at all.....I don't want to see my food smiling and happy before I see
it on my plate!!!

you can cut the claws off and then you can toss it in a pot of boiling water. problem solved

seriously though, I always put a live crab in a pot of boiling water and I never paid attention to the clanging around fighting for dear life thingie. now that you mentioned it though, I don't think I can cook a crab that way again. I may also not be able to eat crab for some time. Thanks MG

Jeremey wrote:

Uno_up wrote:OK---Here's the dilly-O...

You can actually temporarily paralyze the crab by flipping him/her on it's back and rubbing it's belly for about 20 seconds. Once it's in it's stupefied state, drop the poor bastard in the boiling water. It will be dead before it regains consciousness.
My sister in law is a chef in California and she will not prepare any lobsters for cooking, even though they're on the menu. She looks at them as large insects with feelings. Generally chefs that don't feel boiling is humane will slit the lobster's spinal cord before boiling.

That's awesome! I didn't know that. Now if there was a way to rub those baby cows on their belly to hypnotize them before they're turned into little cutlets...?

Well, when we (families/friends) would go camping as youngsters in Myrtle Beach, we were taught to attach chicken necks to fishing line and toss them out into these ocean inlets and slowly pull them into shore. Crabs would always follow the chicken necks to the water's edge and WHAM! we'd net them up. Of course we were little hooligans and hypnotized them with the back trick, which would allow us to put a firecracker in their mouths to blow them up. I'm going for hell for that one alone.

G.I.Jim wrote:Sabrina told him he's not allowed!

Huh?

[quote="Jeremey"][quote="Michigan Girl"]

I now have a no cow/no pig clause in my diet. Basically I've decided not to eat anything you can milk. Pigs seem to beg for their lives when being slaughtered.


Have you ever tried to milk a pig? You might be in for a big surprise!!!!

mr.v wrote:

Jeremey wrote:

Michigan Girl wrote:
I now have a no cow/no pig clause in my diet. Basically I've decided not to eat anything you can milk. Pigs seem to beg for their lives when being slaughtered.


Have you ever tried to milk a pig? You might be in for a big surprise!!!!

mr.v wrote:

Jeremey wrote:

Michigan Girl wrote:
I now have a no cow/no pig clause in my diet. Basically I've decided not to eat anything you can milk. Pigs seem to beg for their lives when being slaughtered.


Have you ever tried to milk a pig? You might be in for a big surprise!!!!

No, but they do have titties!

First off, only get crabs from the Chesapeake bay Proferablly from Md, Steam them with a cup of vinegar,and a bottle of beer any shitty beer like Bud or Coors light, Sprinkle Old bay seasoning mixed with Rock salt, and sprinkle some on each layer, make sure the brew is boiling before addind the craps. You can use a turkey fryer but make sure the craps are at least 1 inch above the brew. Steam them for 30 minutes, and fuckin down as many beers / wine as you can while they are steamin,if you what to know how to pick them fuckers out let me know and ill continue. i do it everyweek, during season, i put on some Journey while im eating, i pick Frigas lame shit and betch and laugh and shit. Enjoy. Crap season doesnt come here until mid April. m y spelling might be questionabale once in a while but Im an excpert when it come to crabs. If you boil them you are a retard

i took all that time how to cook crabs, now we are talkin titties which i like by the way.. friga HATES THEM

stevew2 wrote:First off, only get crabs from the Chesapeake bay Proferablly from Md, Steam them with a cup of vinegar,and a bottle of beer any shitty beer like Bud or Coors light, Sprinkle Old bay seasoning mixed with Rock salt, and sprinkle some on each layer, make sure the brew is boiling before addind the craps. You can use a turkey fryer but make sure the craps are at least 1 inch above the brew. Steam them for 30 minutes, and fuckin down as many beers / wine as you can while they are steamin,if you what to know how to pick them fuckers out let me know and ill continue. i do it everyweek, during season, i put on some Journey while im eating, i pick Frigas lame shit and betch and laugh and shit. Enjoy. Crap season doesnt come here until mid April. m y spelling might be questionabale once in a while but Im an excpert when it come to crabs. If you boil them you are a retard

mdaemon wrote:

stevew2 wrote:First off, only get crabs from the Chesapeake bay Proferablly from Md, Steam them with a cup of vinegar,and a bottle of beer any shitty beer like Bud or Coors light, Sprinkle Old bay seasoning mixed with Rock salt, and sprinkle some on each layer, make sure the brew is boiling before addind the craps. You can use a turkey fryer but make sure the craps are at least 1 inch above the brew. Steam them for 30 minutes, and fuckin down as many beers / wine as you can while they are steamin,if you what to know how to pick them fuckers out let me know and ill continue. i do it everyweek, during season, i put on some Journey while im eating, i pick Frigas lame shit and betch and laugh and shit. Enjoy. Crap season doesnt come here until mid April. m y spelling might be questionabale once in a while but Im an excpert when it come to crabs. If you boil them you are a retard

i stand by that

stevew2 wrote:First off, only get crabs from the Chesapeake bay Proferablly from Md, Steam them with a cup of vinegar,and a bottle of beer any shitty beer like Bud or Coors light, Sprinkle Old bay seasoning mixed with Rock salt, and sprinkle some on each layer, make sure the brew is boiling before addind the craps. You can use a turkey fryer but make sure the craps are at least 1 inch above the brew. Steam them for 30 minutes, and fuckin down as many beers / wine as you can while they are steamin,if you what to know how to pick them fuckers out let me know and ill continue. i do it everyweek, during season, i put on some Journey while im eating, i pick Frigas lame shit and betch and laugh and shit. Enjoy. Crap season doesnt come here until mid April. m y spelling might be questionabale once in a while but Im an excpert when it come to crabs. If you boil them you are a retard

Thanks for the information. Yes, definitely tell me how to pick out these fuckers. I just have always picked out the biggest ones that have all their legs and claws still on. So your saying that boiling them isn't the correct way? My wife mentioned that steaming them is the ideal way cause when you boil them, a lot of the flavor is boiled out of them. So you must be right. I may try cooking a lobster though for myself since I don't eat crabs.

And Uno_up....I love crab fishing. In the late 70's, I used to go crab fishing with a friend of mine with his father and brothers. They were Filippinos and we would go crab fishing at night in Half Moon Bay Ca. It was really fun, we'd tie on pieces of raw chicken and toss the net into the water. It's just a waiting game. Every so often we'd pull up the net and there would be a crab or two in it. My friends would tell me that the crabs would actually make screaming sounds when tossed into the boiling water