The 2008 US Presidential Election Thread

[Lula]

Of course I know what an outlier is Stu. I also know what "trend" is and WVA, is in fact trending Obama. I know BO likely won't take WV, however, it shouldn't even be in play. That was my point.

MO, WV, IN, IA, NC, and VA should have all stayed red.

Again, thank you president Bush. You rock bro! Now go get yerself an 8 ball of good blow and party hard this weekend! You earned it.

[conversationpc]

McCain is now up by 7 points here in Indiana according to Rasmussen and that's after his being here for a rally on Tuesday.

[Lula]

McCain is now up by 7 points here in Indiana according to Rasmussen and that's after his being here for a rally on Tuesday.

Congratulations...I suppose. Now if only Mcgrump and Caribou can do what, 569 more rallies, you might get Virginia and NC.

[RossValoryRocks]

McCain is now up by 7 points here in Indiana according to Rasmussen and that's after his being here for a rally on Tuesday.

Congratulations...I suppose. Now if only Mcgrump and Caribou can do what, 569 more rallies, you might get Virginia and NC.

They will get NC, VA is only going blue because of all the democrat wonks who moved out of DC to the VA suburbs.

[Saint John]

McCain will win Virginia.

[Lula]

McCain will win Virginia.

100 BUCKS?

[Saint John]

McCain will win Virginia.

100 BUCKS?

lol...you and your fucking bets!!!

[Rhiannon]

They will get NC, VA is only going blue because of all the democrat wonks who moved out of DC to the VA suburbs.

Thank you, and because of the friggin outsider artsy-fartsy new-age folk "omg the mountains are so pretty lets all move there" that have invaded the western end of the state.

[Lula]

McCain is now up by 7 points here in Indiana according to Rasmussen and that's after his being here for a rally on Tuesday.

Congratulations...I suppose. Now if only Mcgrump and Caribou can do what, 569 more rallies, you might get Virginia and NC.

They will get NC, VA is only going blue because of all the democrat wonks who moved out of DC to the VA suburbs.

I'll bet you 50 on NC. If I win this bet, you will owe me about what, $3,500 bucks?

Let's call NC a tie right now. It will only slide further and further toward BO now. People on the right aren't going to turn off Dancing with the Stars to go vote for a guy who is getting wasted. You're on Choad. 50 bucks.

[Lula]

They will get NC, VA is only going blue because of all the democrat wonks who moved out of DC to the VA suburbs.

Thank you, and because of the friggin outsider artsy-fartsy new-age folk "omg the mountains are so pretty lets all move there" that have invaded the western end of the state.

Whatever, blue is blue is blue. NC, IMO, along with Washington State, Colorado and Minnesota are the most beautiful states in the land. Oh and Virginia and W VA too. Harpers Ferry makes me cum instantly looking at pics of it.

[DarrenUK]

Britain is Repossessing the United States of America.
A Message adapted and updated from Mr. John Cleese:

To the Citizens of the United States of America :

In light of the strong possibility you are about to elect an elderly
gentleman with a bad temper and a lady who thinks she can run foreign
policy because she can see Russia from her house, as President and
President-In-Waiting of the USA and thus to risk Life As We Know It
for everyone else on the Planet, we hereby give notice of the
revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical
duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas
, which she does not fancy). She won't actually be in charge, but
she'll greet foreign leaders as necessary and not put her foot in it
or vomit on anyone at dinner.

Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for
America without the need for further elections. He will choose someone
who does not have his or her hand in the till and has significant
experience in running Big Things. You have not had one of them for
almost a decade and trust me, it is a big plus.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. They have given away too
much of your money already to rescue incompetent business executives
and soon your American Dollars will resemble Zimbabwean Dollars in
total worthlessness. There is no free lunch you know. Although we
originally let you get away with secession because King George was
robbing you blind, recent events demonstrate that your present leaders
are doing much worse things and unfortunately you have not noticed.

A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether more
than half of you still believe Saddam Hussein was behind 9-11.
Information to the contrary will again be provided by the rest of the
world and we request you read it this time and refrain from invading
the wrong country ever again if you possibly can.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following
rules are introduced with immediate effect:

You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.

1. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will
be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and
'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without
skipping half the letters, and the suffix -ize will be replaced by the
suffix -ise.

Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable
levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises
such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form
of communication.

There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on
your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take
account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize. You
will relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen.

4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. But we have a
lot of Bank Holidays you will enjoy instead.

5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns,
lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and
therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns
should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort
things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then
you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything
more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if
you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

7. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for
your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what
we mean.

8. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will
start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you
will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of
conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you
understand the British
sense of humour.

9. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been
calling gasoline)-roughly $9/US gallon. Get used to it. Your driving
armoured cars to buy groceries is unnecessary, boorish and killing the
planet.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French
fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling
potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut,
fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

11. We will require that people running things, like your government,
are at least moderately competent and not related by blood or bribes
to those who benefit from their decisions. We know it makes you more
cozy when your leaders know as little as you do, but, honestly, it is
short sighted: you need doctors who know more about medicine, pilots
who know more about flying and leaders who know more about leading.

12. We respectfully request you give up this notion that Politics is
Entertainment, and that very complicated things can only be explained
to you in less than fifteen seconds. If you wanted to have a
democracy, honestly, you'd really need to have taken the time to
understand things a bit more before you voted. And may I suggest the
startling notion that politicians don't need to look good to do a good
job? And it really is acceptable if they are a bit boring, so long as
they do their homework. It's especially important if evidently you
have not done yours. Poor old Al Gore. Poor old John Kerry. And by
the way, are you happy now you chose a Governor for California based
on his teeth?

13. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not
actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be
referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted
provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also
acceptable as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting Nation on
earth and it can only be due to the beer.
They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did
for them.

14. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as
good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to
play English characters. Watching Andie McDowell attempt English
dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to
having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

15. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind
of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough
will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities
to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every
twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of
nancies). Don't try Rugby - the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash
you, like they regularly thrash us.

16. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to
host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played
outside of America . Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a
world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will
learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first in
their country. The six out of ten of you who don't own a passport will
need to get one first.

17. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

18. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's
Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all
monies due (backdated to 1776). Although this will raise your taxes,
remember that the Neoconservatives will no longer be robbing you blind
and so your Dollars will stop shrinking. Didn't you know that
inflation and government bailouts of huge companies were really paid
for by you? We must do something about your educational system. What
on earth is going on over there? Are you oblivious to the crushing
debt you are leaving your children? You might as well throttle them
now.

19. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, never
mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; strawberries in
season.

God Save the Queen. But at least God won't instruct your President to
invade any more wrong countries.

[Rhiannon]

They will get NC, VA is only going blue because of all the democrat wonks who moved out of DC to the VA suburbs.

Thank you, and because of the friggin outsider artsy-fartsy new-age folk "omg the mountains are so pretty lets all move there" that have invaded the western end of the state.

Whatever, blue is blue is blue. NC, IMO, along with Washington State, Colorado and Minnesota are the most beautiful states in the land. Oh and Virginia and W VA too. Harpers Ferry makes me cum instantly looking at pics of it.

I don't care what color my state is... I'm pointing out that the political make-up of a once violently conservative area (the mountains), is changing rapidly.
VA and NC are gorgeous... WV in places. Coal towns aren't so great. I get almost 4 hours of WV on my way home, which is a welcomed view after all the damn cornfields in Indiana.

[RossValoryRocks]

McCain is now up by 7 points here in Indiana according to Rasmussen and that's after his being here for a rally on Tuesday.

Congratulations...I suppose. Now if only Mcgrump and Caribou can do what, 569 more rallies, you might get Virginia and NC.

They will get NC, VA is only going blue because of all the democrat wonks who moved out of DC to the VA suburbs.

I'll bet you 50 on NC. If I win this bet, you will owe me about what, $3,500 bucks?

Let's call NC a tie right now. It will only slide further and further toward BO now. People on the right aren't going to turn off Dancing with the Stars to go vote for a guy who is getting wasted. You're on Choad. 50 bucks.

No bets...I have the text of you canceling the last one as well.

But we are going fishing...beer is on me...

[journeypower]

9/11 falls squarely on the moronic shoulders of one George W Bush. How you Cons can blame Clinton for something that happened on W's watch is beyond me. Under that math, if God forbid these towel headed camel jockey's run rampant on these shores next year when Obama is in the White House, I won't be blaming Bush, I will blame Obama. And trust me, if and when BO fucks up, I will be all over him.

blaming the Bush Administration for the 9/11 incident is nothing more than blaming a security guard shift doing the same routine. what I found abnoxious is that some people have this mentality of just because it happened on a person's watch, that that person should be blamed for such tragedy. it is more actually the failure of America, particularly the senate and congress in general. just to set things straight, the terror threat wasn't taken seriously not until 9/11. airport security was not that tight even before George Jr. stepped in as President. not to mention that traveling to America was not that difficult either, even if your appearance or name is of Muslim descent. nowadays, you go into strict background checking and under surveillance just for being a Muslim (no kidding). the problem with america before is it's security routine, priorities and policies.

You may say that Clinton warned them of the so-called terrorist threat. the question is, what did Clinton did aside from this warning? warning does nothing. I wouldn't mind blaming George if he screws up some certain anti-terrorist bills that Clinton and his cohorts passed. but the fact that no action was taken during his term, speaks for itself that he didn't take the terrorist threat seriously either. simple as that.

the 9/11 incident was a danger waiting to happen due to the loose policies about internal security that America had from the start.

[Lula]

Britain is Repossessing the United States of America.

You fuckers ought to worry about Ireland first. You aren't repossessing shit.

In light of the strong possibility you are about to elect an elderly
gentleman with a bad temper and a lady who thinks she can run foreign
policy because she can see Russia from her house, as President and
President-In-Waiting of the USA

Stop right there. Never going to happen, Euro.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

LOL, that ugly skank with all the riches and no brains. I bet she has a room full of Depends donated to her from Johnson and Johnson.


I would HAPPILY fight under George W Bush against you shitheaps and your tea drinking "rule." Never going to happen as long as I am alive.

God Save the Queen. But at least God won't instruct your President to
invade any more wrong countries.

May I add, your country invaded right along with us. Screw your Queen and your PM.



Go fuck yourself,

Lula

[Tito]

Hi Deen!

[Saint John]

Britain is Repossessing the United States of America.
A Message adapted and updated from Mr. John Cleese:

To the Citizens of the United States of America :

In light of the strong possibility you are about to elect an elderly
gentleman with a bad temper and a lady who thinks she can run foreign
policy because she can see Russia from her house, as President and
President-In-Waiting of the USA and thus to risk Life As We Know It
for everyone else on the Planet, we hereby give notice of the
revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical
duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas
, which she does not fancy). She won't actually be in charge, but
she'll greet foreign leaders as necessary and not put her foot in it
or vomit on anyone at dinner.

Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for
America without the need for further elections. He will choose someone
who does not have his or her hand in the till and has significant
experience in running Big Things. You have not had one of them for
almost a decade and trust me, it is a big plus.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. They have given away too
much of your money already to rescue incompetent business executives
and soon your American Dollars will resemble Zimbabwean Dollars in
total worthlessness. There is no free lunch you know. Although we
originally let you get away with secession because King George was
robbing you blind, recent events demonstrate that your present leaders
are doing much worse things and unfortunately you have not noticed.

A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether more
than half of you still believe Saddam Hussein was behind 9-11.
Information to the contrary will again be provided by the rest of the
world and we request you read it this time and refrain from invading
the wrong country ever again if you possibly can.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following
rules are introduced with immediate effect:

You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.

1. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will
be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and
'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without
skipping half the letters, and the suffix -ize will be replaced by the
suffix -ise.

Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable
levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises
such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form
of communication.

There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on
your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take
account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize. You
will relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen.

4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. But we have a
lot of Bank Holidays you will enjoy instead.

5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns,
lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and
therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns
should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort
things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then
you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything
more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if
you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

7. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for
your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what
we mean.

8. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will
start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you
will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of
conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you
understand the British
sense of humour.

9. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been
calling gasoline)-roughly $9/US gallon. Get used to it. Your driving
armoured cars to buy groceries is unnecessary, boorish and killing the
planet.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French
fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling
potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut,
fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

11. We will require that people running things, like your government,
are at least moderately competent and not related by blood or bribes
to those who benefit from their decisions. We know it makes you more
cozy when your leaders know as little as you do, but, honestly, it is
short sighted: you need doctors who know more about medicine, pilots
who know more about flying and leaders who know more about leading.

12. We respectfully request you give up this notion that Politics is
Entertainment, and that very complicated things can only be explained
to you in less than fifteen seconds. If you wanted to have a
democracy, honestly, you'd really need to have taken the time to
understand things a bit more before you voted. And may I suggest the
startling notion that politicians don't need to look good to do a good
job? And it really is acceptable if they are a bit boring, so long as
they do their homework. It's especially important if evidently you
have not done yours. Poor old Al Gore. Poor old John Kerry. And by
the way, are you happy now you chose a Governor for California based
on his teeth?

13. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not
actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be
referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted
provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also
acceptable as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting Nation on
earth and it can only be due to the beer.
They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did
for them.

14. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as
good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to
play English characters. Watching Andie McDowell attempt English
dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to
having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

15. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind
of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough
will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities
to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every
twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of
nancies). Don't try Rugby - the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash
you, like they regularly thrash us.

16. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to
host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played
outside of America . Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a
world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will
learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first in
their country. The six out of ten of you who don't own a passport will
need to get one first.

17. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

18. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's
Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all
monies due (backdated to 1776). Although this will raise your taxes,
remember that the Neoconservatives will no longer be robbing you blind
and so your Dollars will stop shrinking. Didn't you know that
inflation and government bailouts of huge companies were really paid
for by you? We must do something about your educational system. What
on earth is going on over there? Are you oblivious to the crushing
debt you are leaving your children? You might as well throttle them
now.

19. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, never
mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; strawberries in
season.

God Save the Queen. But at least God won't instruct your President to
invade any more wrong countries.

You've gotta be fucking kidding me. I already dealt with this literary vomit once before and would be happy to do so again. The only thing the UK needs to take over is a fucking deodorant factory. Go bungee jump off of Big fucking Ben with a rubber band.

[Lula]

Hi Deen!

Turd,

this is Lula not Dean

[Saint John]

Hi Deen!

Turd,

this is Lula not Dean

I like the new Lula!!!

[Tito]

Hi Deen!

Turd,

this is Lula not Dean

Oh. Sorry.

[Lula]

Dammit, in 20 minutes I need to head out. You all have a recess, ie, free time til I am back Sunday night. Traveling, so you are safe.

Where is Lie Finder and his posse?

[DarrenUK]

Britain is Repossessing the United States of America.
A Message adapted and updated from Mr. John Cleese:

To the Citizens of the United States of America :

In light of the strong possibility you are about to elect an elderly
gentleman with a bad temper and a lady who thinks she can run foreign
policy because she can see Russia from her house, as President and
President-In-Waiting of the USA and thus to risk Life As We Know It
for everyone else on the Planet, we hereby give notice of the
revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical
duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas
, which she does not fancy). She won't actually be in charge, but
she'll greet foreign leaders as necessary and not put her foot in it
or vomit on anyone at dinner.

Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for
America without the need for further elections. He will choose someone
who does not have his or her hand in the till and has significant
experience in running Big Things. You have not had one of them for
almost a decade and trust me, it is a big plus.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. They have given away too
much of your money already to rescue incompetent business executives
and soon your American Dollars will resemble Zimbabwean Dollars in
total worthlessness. There is no free lunch you know. Although we
originally let you get away with secession because King George was
robbing you blind, recent events demonstrate that your present leaders
are doing much worse things and unfortunately you have not noticed.

A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether more
than half of you still believe Saddam Hussein was behind 9-11.
Information to the contrary will again be provided by the rest of the
world and we request you read it this time and refrain from invading
the wrong country ever again if you possibly can.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following
rules are introduced with immediate effect:

You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.

1. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will
be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and
'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without
skipping half the letters, and the suffix -ize will be replaced by the
suffix -ise.

Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable
levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises
such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form
of communication.

There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on
your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take
account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize. You
will relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen.

4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. But we have a
lot of Bank Holidays you will enjoy instead.

5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns,
lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and
therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns
should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort
things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then
you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything
more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if
you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

7. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for
your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what
we mean.

8. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will
start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you
will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of
conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you
understand the British
sense of humour.

9. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been
calling gasoline)-roughly $9/US gallon. Get used to it. Your driving
armoured cars to buy groceries is unnecessary, boorish and killing the
planet.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French
fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling
potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut,
fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

11. We will require that people running things, like your government,
are at least moderately competent and not related by blood or bribes
to those who benefit from their decisions. We know it makes you more
cozy when your leaders know as little as you do, but, honestly, it is
short sighted: you need doctors who know more about medicine, pilots
who know more about flying and leaders who know more about leading.

12. We respectfully request you give up this notion that Politics is
Entertainment, and that very complicated things can only be explained
to you in less than fifteen seconds. If you wanted to have a
democracy, honestly, you'd really need to have taken the time to
understand things a bit more before you voted. And may I suggest the
startling notion that politicians don't need to look good to do a good
job? And it really is acceptable if they are a bit boring, so long as
they do their homework. It's especially important if evidently you
have not done yours. Poor old Al Gore. Poor old John Kerry. And by
the way, are you happy now you chose a Governor for California based
on his teeth?

13. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not
actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be
referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted
provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also
acceptable as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting Nation on
earth and it can only be due to the beer.
They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did
for them.

14. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as
good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to
play English characters. Watching Andie McDowell attempt English
dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to
having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

15. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind
of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough
will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities
to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every
twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of
nancies). Don't try Rugby - the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash
you, like they regularly thrash us.

16. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to
host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played
outside of America . Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a
world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will
learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first in
their country. The six out of ten of you who don't own a passport will
need to get one first.

17. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

18. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's
Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all
monies due (backdated to 1776). Although this will raise your taxes,
remember that the Neoconservatives will no longer be robbing you blind
and so your Dollars will stop shrinking. Didn't you know that
inflation and government bailouts of huge companies were really paid
for by you? We must do something about your educational system. What
on earth is going on over there? Are you oblivious to the crushing
debt you are leaving your children? You might as well throttle them
now.

19. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, never
mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; strawberries in
season.

God Save the Queen. But at least God won't instruct your President to
invade any more wrong countries.

You've gotta be fucking kidding me. I already dealt with this literary vomit once before and would be happy to do so again. The only thing the UK needs to take over is a fucking deodorant factory. Go bungee jump off of Big fucking Ben with a rubber band.

Brilliant absolutely brilliant

[Don]

This was St. Johns Rebuttal the last time this was posted. I emailed it all over my office.

The U.S.A.'s response:

1) If Alcoa is ok with "aluminum" so am I.

2) Extra letters are such a nuisance. You guys skip deodorant...we skip letters. Deal with it.

3) I'll put Ken Jennings up against your finest scholar any day of the week. And the anthem should be renamed God Bathe The Queen.

4) The fuck it won't!!!

5) Here ya go, asshole: "Not surprisingly to many observers, the violent crime rate in Great Britain has risen dramatically and steadily since gun bans have been instituted. That's a trend seen wherever strict gun control laws have been implemented. And that's the part of the story British officials have tried to keep under wraps."

6) See number 5.

7) Our cars are fine. We like something bigger than a fucking Fiat or Volkswagon.

I've learned all I need to about "the British sense of humor" from Benny Hill reruns...not impressed. You try implementing the metric system and you'll find a yard stick up your ass.

9) $8 a gallon? No thanks, we'll manage just fine as is. "Petrol"...lol.

10) Try telling Bob and his afterwork union bar buddies they can no longer eat "potato chips." Let me know how that goes.

11) If I wanted something "bitter" I'd lick the queen's twat. Plus, I really dig the Bud Light commercials during the Super Bowl!!

12) Minus Sean Connery you haven't had an actor worth a fuck since Paul Revere.

13) You can keep soccer and we'll keep football. When soccer produces an athlete like Bo Jackson, Jim Brown or Barry Sanders give me a ring. As for rugby, it's played in the U.S. by snobby, rich, college fags. Real men play football. PS Gladiators and Vikings wore "body armor" too. I'd like to see you call them "nancies."

14) Baseball is the greatest sport on the planet. Sorry it's a little more complex than kicking a ball around and requires the use of all of your limbs. No thanks as far as cricket goes. You gave us golf and that was gay enough.

15) Right after you tell us who Jack The Ripper was.

16) Remember what happened last time you fuckers tried that shit?

17) "Daily Tea Time?" You can't be serious. We flock to Hooters and Buffalo Wild Wings and have wings and beer. That's not going to change, either.

God Bless America

[Lula]

Not nice Dan.

I would have preferred you said bungee jump off Big Ben(he was probably gay too), without anything. Just leap off that fucker. Less painful that way.

Tea and crumpets? Dude

[Lula]

Blah blah blah.

Same old Con argument. Full of shit and full of holes.

For you people to complain about voter fraud is hysterical. Take your beating like a man dammit.

[brywool]

Where the heck is this money coming from?!?!?!
http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/10/10/ ... topstories

[conversationpc]

For you people to complain about voter fraud is hysterical. Take your beating like a man dammit.

Ummm...Your side has been crying voter fraud like a crapload of parrots for the past eight years. This time, there is actual evidence of it on the Democratic side.

[RossValoryRocks]

For you people to complain about voter fraud is hysterical. Take your beating like a man dammit.

Ummm...Your side has been crying voter fraud like a crapload of parrots for the past eight years. This time, there is actual evidence of it on the Democratic side.

Don't bother Dave...Dean for all his good qualities doesn't want to hear the truth about anything political, it's his way or no way. Though in person I have gotten him to admit a few things that he will never own up to here.

[S2M]

For you people to complain about voter fraud is hysterical. Take your beating like a man dammit.

Ummm...Your side has been crying voter fraud like a crapload of parrots for the past eight years. This time, there is actual evidence of it on the Democratic side.

Don't bother Dave...Dean for all his good qualities doesn't want to hear the truth about anything political, it's his way or no way. Though in person I have gotten him to admit a few things that he will never own up to here.

I'm still waiting for you to come up to N.E. and show us dumb folk a thing or two about politics......

[DarrenUK]

This was St. Johns Rebuttal the last time this was posted. I emailed it all over my office.

The U.S.A.'s response:

1) If Alcoa is ok with "aluminum" so am I.

2) Extra letters are such a nuisance. You guys skip deodorant...we skip letters. Deal with it.

3) I'll put Ken Jennings up against your finest scholar any day of the week. And the anthem should be renamed God Bathe The Queen.

4) The fuck it won't!!!

5) Here ya go, asshole: "Not surprisingly to many observers, the violent crime rate in Great Britain has risen dramatically and steadily since gun bans have been instituted. That's a trend seen wherever strict gun control laws have been implemented. And that's the part of the story British officials have tried to keep under wraps."

6) See number 5.

7) Our cars are fine. We like something bigger than a fucking Fiat or Volkswagon.

I've learned all I need to about "the British sense of humor" from Benny Hill reruns...not impressed. You try implementing the metric system and you'll find a yard stick up your ass.

9) $8 a gallon? No thanks, we'll manage just fine as is. "Petrol"...lol.

10) Try telling Bob and his afterwork union bar buddies they can no longer eat "potato chips." Let me know how that goes.

11) If I wanted something "bitter" I'd lick the queen's twat. Plus, I really dig the Bud Light commercials during the Super Bowl!!

12) Minus Sean Connery you haven't had an actor worth a fuck since Paul Revere.

13) You can keep soccer and we'll keep football. When soccer produces an athlete like Bo Jackson, Jim Brown or Barry Sanders give me a ring. As for rugby, it's played in the U.S. by snobby, rich, college fags. Real men play football. PS Gladiators and Vikings wore "body armor" too. I'd like to see you call them "nancies."

14) Baseball is the greatest sport on the planet. Sorry it's a little more complex than kicking a ball around and requires the use of all of your limbs. No thanks as far as cricket goes. You gave us golf and that was gay enough.

15) Right after you tell us who Jack The Ripper was.

16) Remember what happened last time you fuckers tried that shit?

17) "Daily Tea Time?" You can't be serious. We flock to Hooters and Buffalo Wild Wings and have wings and beer. That's not going to change, either.

God Bless America

I like the actor comeback regarding no decent actor since Paul Revere .......Anthony Hopkins ?, Richard Burton ?, not in the same league as Adam Sandler and Larry The Cable Guy but you must admit they were good.... and as for comedy is concerned you must of seen Little Britain and The Office ( Original one not the remake) they were great .... I know the Geico Cavemen were funnier but hey give us some credit here. Baseball greatest sport in the world ..... ok whatever but you have to name it the American Series not the World series and to call the Super Bowl Champions World Champions just does not hack it. .... As for beer I like Sam Adams and maybe now Budweiser has been bought out by us Europeans they might brew it so you do not need 24 bottles of it to get drunk. not sure about the scholar one but here is a list of ours

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:B ... l_scholars

Our cars are quite good too, Rolls Royce and Aston Martin were very popular. Gas prices suck in England but we dont have to pay a $50,000 co-pay to have a heart bypass operation so we have to make the money somewhere.

Gun crime see here

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gun_crime

Good luck licking the Queens twat ......... probably taste better than a big mac

Jack The Ripper was as far as the experts say was American .... see here

Francis Tumblety
"Dr" Francis Tumblety (c. 1830-1903)

Seemingly uneducated or self-educated Irish-American raised from an infant in Rochester, New York, where he ostensibly trained as a homeopathic physician at Hahneman Hospital (now Highland Hospital). He earned a small fortune posing as a quack "Indian Herb" doctor throughout the United States and Canada and occasionally travelling across Europe as well.[1] He was commonly perceived as a misogynist and was connected to the deaths of some of his patients and charged by the authorities in Canada but skipped the country. It is uncertain if these deaths were deliberate or not. He was also charged with supplying herbs to procure an illegal abortion. At times he used the alias "J.H. Blackburn". He gained a reputation for his eccentric, ostentatious clothes, which were frequently of a military nature. In 1864 he was operative in Brooklyn, New York, where his assistant was David E. Herold, later hanged as an accomplice in the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. Tumblety was arrested on 6 May 1865 in St. Louis, Missouri, and incarcerated in the Old Capitol Prison, Washington, for complicity in the Lincoln assassination, but released upon the plea of mistaken identity.[6]

Tumblety was in England in 1888 and had visited the country on other occasions; during one such earlier trip he became closely acquainted with Victorian writer Thomas Henry Hall Caine, with whom it was suggested he had an affair and from whom he tried to borrow money as his finances had become precarious. He claimed to have treated many famous English patients, including Charles Dickens, for a variety of illnesses. He was arrested on 7 November 1888, on charges of "gross indecency", apparently for engaging in homosexuality. Awaiting trial, he instead fled the country for France on 24 November 1888, and thence to the United States.[7]. It has been suggested that he was released on police bail before the final canonical murder of Mary Jane Kelly (on 9 November). Notorious in the United States for his scams, including selling forged Union military discharge papers during the American Civil War and impersonating an army officer, news of his arrest led some to suggest he was the Ripper.

After the initial interest in Tumblety in 1888, he was mentioned as having been a Ripper suspect by former Detective Chief Inspector John George Littlechild of the Metropolitan Police in a letter to journalist and author, George R. Sims dated 23 September 1913.[1] Claims that Scotland Yard sent an officer to the United States in 1888 to try to bring Tumblety back in connection with the crimes have been disputed by recent research, although there are anecdotal American newspaper reports to suggest that this was the case.
He died in a St Louis hospital in 1903, possibly of syphilis, and is buried in Rochester, New York.


Hooters the place where dirty old men sit oogling 18 year olds whilst chewing a wing and burping after their 8th beer ....what a great place.

I suppose you will be telling me America has far more successful music acts next .......

Have a nice day y'all