No I'm not going to ask you all "what Styx song stopped you in your tracks" the first time you were listening to it.
This, well is a bit more personal. It definitely stopped me in my tracks.
This is a bit long winded.. Please bare with me. I have to get this out.
2020 for many of us was not a good year. This past year was the worst year of my life since 2007 when I lost my teaching job (new boss, and everything I did just wasn't good enough for him, and we agreed to mutual part ways) and my dad to cancer, while watching my mother starting to be hit by the affects of Alzheimer's.
Although I was working through the pandemic, we lost our old girl Breezer in June due to a kidney infection at 16 1/2. We were heartbroken and our boy Lenard wasn't the same - he knew her his entire life. Shortly before Breezer passed we had a lump removed on Lenard's paw but we didn't ask the vet to do more tests, just the surgery.
Later on that summer we started noticing Lenard's umm.. "droppings" were looking a bit squished, but we didn't think anything of it.
Although some days he was sad (he really started hanging with us more, wasn't distant etc).
Fast forward to November 8th. I get the call that mom isn't doing well. I spend the week with my mom at the hospital. By that Wednesday they tell me it's pretty much palliative care and to just make sure she is comfortable. The following Saturday we decide to clean Lenard up before we drop him off at friends for a play date and I find this lump near his rear end. We thought it was a swollen anal gland. (I know TMI) but it was concerning.
My Mom passed away on Nov 15th. The next day we took Lenard to the Vet - and got more bad news. It wasn't a swollen gland, it was a tumour. The vet gave us steroids - to try and shrink it so she can try and remove it. It sadly sped the cancer up.
On December 7th It had spread and the specialist told me that if we went with surgery, chemo, etc it would only give him maybe a year if there were no other complications.
On Dec 30th I had to say goodbye to my boy. I could have gave him some pain killers, etc but it wouldn't have been much of a life for him, plus the vet was concerned that the tumour may break and infection could set in. So for the third time in less than six months those who I loved the most dearest to me died in my arms.
Many of my friends and family gave me my condolences for Lenard - he was one of those dogs that touched a lot of peoples lives, but one - it stopped me in my tracks because well, it came out of the blue.
Tommy Shaw.
He saw my Facebook post and commented on what a sweet fella my Lenard was and gave me his condolences.
He could have just went "oh well" or just passed it by as one of the thousands of posts he must go through a day on his social media. But he didn't - I'm not going to lie I'm crying all over again just typing this out. One day I will thank him in person. His simple act of kindness meant the world to me - it still does.
I'm not going to sugar coat it - I'm not 100%. Everything around me is blah. I don't get joy from music, movies, sports, etc anymore.
I'm taking things a day at a time, but I thought I'd share something to try and kick start my healing.
I hope you all don't mind.
Hug those close to you if you can.