"Command to all units... (static)" *adjust squelch on scanner*
"Location Bottom Road" *that's a mile or two away, good, it isn't my house*
"Barn fire in progress, come around Bottom to the split to fill." *sounds like innuendo, too early for this*
"Command, want me to hook up at the fill by the bridge?" *yeah, cause there's no water under it, hard to believe we had a flood a few weeks ago.*
"10-4, 162, be careful, you'll be hauling a hundred pounds over that bridge, better off going to the other side first." *WTF? I drive over that bridge all the time... is he saying another 100 lbs on a tanker might damage something? Did anyone tell the truckers that drive across it? This can not be good...*
"Copy, Command, already hooked up though." *I can see this... tanker en route to fire falls into mud when bridge collapses, backs up traffic for six hours while a crane is brought in to pull it out. Crane is unsuccessful, but the local Amish harness all their horses together and have the tanker out in 15 minutes.*
"Command, we have refreshments and sandwiches on the way, where do you want us to park?" *It's been 10 minutes and they already have sandwiches coming? I can't pay for fast service like that. They should have just finished breakfast anyway... mmm, breakfast...*
"Command, you want I should drop the pond-pumper?"
"Go ahead, 159."
"Copy... pumper down." *pond-scum suckers!*
"162, where do you want Station X to park their trucks?" *must be a big one, more than one station involved. Guess our three trucks weren't enough.*
"Have em get in line on Bottom. Do we have any units with suction?" *snicker*
"Command to units blahblah... unless there's something valuable in that barn, I want you focused on the gray bins!" *Goats are pretty damn valuable around here, Chief. You might need those Amish folks to pull a tanker out later, better save their goats!*
Still listening.... I guess I could go look out the window to see what's going on, but this is more interesting. I have the utmost respect for our volunteer firemen, so don't go getting all indignant on me. A lot of my friends are with the VFD which is one reason I bought the scanner. I'm just entertaining myself this morning.
Hmm... somebody just called in to ask if he could get help removing a reindeer from the back of his truck...
