Subject: RE: here is your sign
>
> >
> >> >> Number One Idiot of 2006:
> >> >>
> >> >> I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
> >> >> toxicology at the
> >> >> poison control center.
> >> >>
> >> >> Today, this woman called in very upset because she
> >> >> caught her little
> >> >> daughter eating ants.
> >> >>
> >> >> I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful
> >> >> and there would be
> >> >> no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She
> >> >> calmed down and at
> >> >> the end of the conversation happened to mention that
> >> >> she gave her
> >> >> daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the
> >> >> ants.
> >> >>
> >> >> I told her that she better bring her daughter into the
> >> >> emergency room
> >> >> right away.
> >> >>
> >> >> Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
> >> >>
> >> >> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >> >>
> >> >> Number Two Idiot of 2006:
> >> >>
> >> >> Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield
> >> >> decided to steal
> >> >> a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful
> >> >> in getting it
> >> >> out of the plane and home.
> >> >>
> >> >> Shortly after they took it for a float on the river,
> >> >> they noticed a
> >> >> Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them.
> >> >>
> >> >> It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the
> >> >> emergency locator
> >> >> beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.
> >> >>
> >> >> They are no longer employed at Boeing.
> >> >>
> >> >> Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint
> >> >> might run.
> >> >>
> >> >> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >> >>
> >> >> Number Three Idiot of 2006:
> >> >>
> >> >> A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America ,
> >> >> walked into the
> >> >> Branch and wrote this: "Put all your muny in this
> >> >> bag."
> >> >>
> >> >> While standing in line, waiting to give his note to
> >> >> the teller, he began
> >> >> to worry that someone had seen him write the note and
> >> >> might call the
> >> >> police before he reached the teller's window.
> >> >>
> >> >> So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street
> >> >> to the Wells Fargo
> >> >> Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed
> >> >> his note to the Wells
> >> >> Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his
> >> >> spelling errors that he
> >> >> wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him
> >> >> that she could not
> >> >> accept
> >> >> his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of
> >> >> America deposit slip,
> >> >> and that he would either have to fill out a Wells
> >> >> Fargo deposit slip or go
> >> >> back to Bank of America.
> >> >>
> >> >> Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and
> >> >> left.
> >> >>
> >> >> He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting
> >> >> in line back at
> >> >> Bank of America.
> >> >>
> >> >> Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably
> >> >> couldn't read it anyway.
> >> >>
> >> >> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >> >>
> >> >> Number Four Idiot of 2006:
> >> >>
> >> >> A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun
> >> >> and demanded all
> >> >> of the cash from the cash drawer.
> >> >>
> >> >> After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber
> >> >> saw a bottle of
> >> >> Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the
> >> >> shelf.
> >> >>
> >> >> He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but
> >> >> the cashier
> >> >> refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are
> >> >> over 21."
> >> >>
> >> >> The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused
> >> >> to give it to him
> >> >> because she didn't believe him.
> >> >>
> >> >> At this point, the robber took his driver's license
> >> >> out of his wallet
> >> >> and gave it to the clerk.
> >> >>
> >> >> The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was
> >> >> in fact over 21
> >> >> and she put the Scotch in the bag.
> >> >>
> >> >> The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
> >> >>
> >> >> The cashier promptly called the police and gave the
> >> >> name and address
> >> >> of the robber that he got off the license.
> >> >>
> >> >> They arrested the robber two hours later.
> >> >>
> >> >> This guy definitely needs a sign.
> >> >>
> >> >> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >> >>
> >> >> IDIOT SIGHTING:
> >> >>
> >> >> When my husband and I arrived at an automobile
> >> >> dealership to pick up our
> >> >> car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the
> >> >> service
> >> >> department and found a mechanic working feverishly to
> >> >> unlock the drivers
> >> >> side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I
> >> >> instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was
> >> >> unlocked.
> >> >>
> >> >> "Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!"
> >> >>
> >> >> His reply, "I know. I already got that side."
> >> >>
> >> >> This was at the CHEVY dealership in Canton ,
> >> >> Mississippi
> >> >>
> >> >> STAY ALERT! They walk among us . . . and they
> >> >> REPRODUCE .