How the Grinch stole Journey

[Monker]

HOW THE GRINCH STOLE Journey
by Dr Monker

Every fan down in Journeyville
Liked Journey a lot...

But the Grinch, who lived just North of Journeyville
Did NOT!

The Grinch hated Journey!
He hated all of Journey fandom!
Now, please don't ask why.
No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his ears were not balanced quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that he wore his hat too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his brain was two sizes too small.

But, whatever the reason,
His ears or his hat,
He stood there the eve before the Journey concert,
hating Journey fandom
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every fan down in Journeyville beneath
Was busy now, buying a Journey concert seat.

"And they're buying their tickets!" he snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow's the concert! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his grinch fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find a way to keep Journey from coming!"
For, tomorrow, he knew...

...All of the fanboys, all of the fanladies
Would wake up bright and early. They'd rush for their CD's!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!

Then they'd do something he liked least of all!
Every fan down in Journeyville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, then Journey would start playing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the fans would start singing!

They'd sing! And they'd sing!
AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!
And the more the Grinch thought of the entire Journey thing
The more the Grinch thought, "I must stop this whole thing!
"Why for more then eight years I've put up with it now!
I MUST stop Journey from coming!
...But HOW?"

Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
THE GRINCH
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

"I know just what to do!" The Grinch Laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick tuxedo, pants and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Grinchy trick!
"With this coat and these tails, I'll look just like Steve Perry!"

"All I need is a kitty"
The Grinch looked around.
But since kitty's are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Grinch...?
No! The Grinch simply said,
"If I can't find a kittly, I'll make one instead!"
So he called his dog Max. Then he took some red thread
And he made up some whiskers, and some pointy ears for his head.

THEN
He loaded some bags
And some old empty sacks
On a ramshakle sleigh
And he hitched up old Max.

Then the Grinch said, "Giddyap!"
And the sleigh started down
Toward the homes where the fans
Lay a-snooze in their town.

All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All the fans were all dreaming sweet dreams without care
When he came to the first house in the square.
"This is stop number one," The old Grinch-Perry hissed
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.

Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.
But if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue
Where all the fan's CDs all sat in a stack.
"These CD's," he grinned, "are not coming back!!"

Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and he took all of the music!
CD's and cassetes! Albums! and video, DVD and VHS!
He took all of the music, even the box set!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!

Then he slunk to the living room.
He took the Home Theater!
He took all the speakers! He took the receiver!
He cleaned out that room as quick as a flash.

Then he stuffed it all up the chimney with glee.
"And NOW!" grinned the Grinch, "I will stuff up the TV!"

And the Grinch grabbed the TV, and he started to shove
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and he saw a small fan!
Little Fran fan, who was not more than ten.

The Grinch had been caught by this little fan daughter
Who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water.
She stared at the Grinch and said, "Steve Perry, why,
"Why are you taking our Journey TV? WHY?"

But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Steve Perry lied,
"The picture tube won't light up on one side.
"So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear.
"I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."

And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head
And he got her a drink and he sent he to bed.
And when Fran fan went to bed with her cup,
HE went to the chimney and stuffed the TV up!

Then the last thing he took
Was the CD "Trial By Fire".
Then he went up the chimney himself, the old liar.
On their walls he left nothing but hooks, and some wire.

Then
He went to the band members house's
He took each of the intruments
He took the guitar, and drums, and the bass.
He even took the whale, with a grin on his face.

It was quarter past dawn...
All the fans, still a-bed
All the fans, still a-snooze
When he packed up his sled,
Packed it up with their songs! Their music! Their equipment!
The CDs! And the tapes! The stereos! The speakers!

Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mount Crumpit,
He rode to the tiptop to dump it!
"Pooh-pooh to the fans!" he was grinch-ish-ly humming.
"They're finding out now that no Journey is coming!
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
"The all the fans down in Journeyville will all cry BOO-HOO!"

"That's a noise," grinned the Grinch,
"That I simply must hear!"
So he paused. And the Grinch put a hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow...

But the sound wasn't sad!
Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!

He stared down at Journeyville!
The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!

Every fan down in Journeyville, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any music at all!
He HADN'T stopped Journey from coming!
IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?
It came without CDs! It came without speakers!
"It came without albums, TVs or receivers!"
And he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Journey," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.
"Maybe Journey...perhaps...means a little bit more!"

And what happened then...?
Well...in Journeyville they say
That the Grinch's small brain
Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his brain didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light
And he brought back the music!
And the instruments for the band!
And he...

...HE HIMSELF...!
The Grinch had a concert ticket in his hand!

[yak]

AWESOME GOOD ONE, MONKER!!!!

[sngrchk04]

Very clever, my dear....
But March 2005 will soon be here.

And every Perry fan-dream will come true:
Steve will sing again:

Will YOU cry "boo-hoo"????

[Monker]

Very clever, my dear....
But March 2005 will soon be here.

And every Perry fan-dream will come true:
Steve will sing again:

Will YOU cry "boo-hoo"????

Huh? That wasn't some kinda Perry insult.

What Perry does is pretty insignificant, to say the most.

[Guest]

You have lost your right to say ANYBODY has too much time on their hands Monker...
That aside...VERY FUNNY!!!

[Marabelle]

I loved it!
Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!
That was funny and cute!

[perryfaithful]

[quote="Monker"]

Huh? That wasn't some kinda Perry insult.


agree

[sngrchk04]

Huh? That wasn't some kinda Perry insult.


agree

I know; I just felt like answering back in "rhyme"

I thought it was cute, too...guess you don't "get" certain types of humor....

Oh well....have a Great Holiday anyway

[yak]

And every Perry fan-dream will come true:
Steve will sing again:

Do you know something the rest of us don't? While you're at it, you'd better tell Steve what you're expecting of him.

I'll try not to cry boohoo. As a matter of fact, I won't even be paying much attention. Will be focused on Journey, who I know I can expect something from.

Other than that, Merry Christmas to you and Mark! Your first together since being married, isn't it?

[jrnyman28]

YAKOV~it has already been verified that David Pack's new CD will be released in 2005 and that Perry sings on the CD. That is what sngrchk is referring to.

[Monker]

Just thought I'd bump this up.

[larryfromnextdoor]

unbelievable!!

[bluejeangirl76]

He took the guitar, and drums, and the bass.
He even took the whale, with a grin on his face.

I loved it, Monker! Very cool!!!!

[annie89509]

Monker IS very funny and clever, but we all know he blames everything on SP . He's said so himself, quote "it's Perry's fault; it's always Perry fault."

Didn't Steve have a dog named Max? I believe he mentioned that in one of his Q&A's.

[ohsherrie]

Thanks Monker. I didn't see it the first time and it's great.

[squirt1]

Now that was funny. 3yrs ago and glad you put it back up. Now, tell us your New Years resolution is to stay off SP's back and note all the good he did while in the band.

[Voyager]

But the sound wasn't sad. Why, this sound sounded very merry.
It couldn't be so. But it WAS merry! VERY!
It was the sound of Journey uniting with Steve Perry!