Arnel Being Homesick

[Saint John]

I told Tito a story over the phone the other night about an instance where I was homesick. Needless to say, telling him the story was a huge mistake. I've decided that it would be in my best interest to share a somewhat personal story than have him bother me 239 times a fucking day asking me to post it. So, without further adieu, here it is.

I graduated college in 1996 (hard to believe I know ). Immediately after graduation I had to go to Greece, a place where I have many wonderful relatives and at the time had 2 brothers and a sister. I was there to settle some legal matters from a small inheritance I recieved. I had been to Greece 9 times prior, basically every other year or so for 20 years, starting at age 4. I was very familiar with all of my relatives and as usual excited about seeing everyone again.

The trip was a blast for the first month or so. Beaches, booze, clubs and family. It doesn't get much better than that. However, the legal matters took much longer than expected and around the 6 week mark I started to get a bit homesick, mostly missing my friends and family in the U.S. After about 8 weeks I really started missing "little things" like my bed, a newspaper, local news, and of course the aforementioned things even more. Bear with me here, I'm going off of memory, but I believe these time frames to be pretty accurate. After 10 weeks it was completely un-fucking-bearable. Mind you, I'm surrounded by people that I love at the time and they were treating me like a king. It's something I couldn't and still can't explain.

What I'm getting to is this. Journey can give Arnel every luxury known to man. Laptops, his own tour bus, a 24 karat gold bed, etc. is not going to change the fact that the guy is homesick. Having seen him in person and seeing what I'll refer to as "a smiling face with empty eyes" I can completely relate to what he's going through. He's trying his best, out of courtesy, to keep smiling and purport a facade of happiness, but it's simply not the truth. The guy wants to see his family and go home.

The only cure for being homesick is.......going home!!! If what I think is happening indeed is (Arnel is getting an extended amount of time home from the previous plan) then I applaud Journey and management for making a very good decision. I hope this is the case. If not, it's something to consider. At any rate, I wish Arnel a speedy final 10 days and hope that his travels home in about 2 weeks are safe and peaceful. You've exceeded everyone's expectations...as has this CD, tour and bill. I can honestly say that this has been one of the funnest summers of my life because Journey brought me together with friends in Las Vegas (twice), Dallas, Charlotte, New York, Cleveland and Chicago. Not to mention all of the new friends I made. Thanks to everyone, from the band, to all of the Pinoys I've met to all of those wonderful friends along the way. But especially to Arnel. Your sacrifices have not gone unnoticed. Salamat.

[Maui Tom]

No smart ass reply on this one...great post SJ.

[Enigma869]

But especially to Arnel. Your sacrifices have not gone unnoticed.

Sacrifices??? Are you alright dude? You make it sound like the guy is sleeping in a tent in the middle of Iraq! Arnel joins Journey, finally makes some real money (presumably), gets a free laptop from Neal (how generous), and now he's a fucking martyr


John from Boston

[fightingilliniJRNY]

No smart ass reply on this one...great post SJ.

Agreed. Enjoy the now-extended winter break, Arnel and Journey. You deserve it. Heck of a summer. Who would have thought that in 2008 Journey would have a Top 5, soon-to-be-platinum album, a Top 10 single and the 6th-highest grossing tour of the summer, averaging 15-20,000 fans per night. No matter how you look at it, that is quite an accomplishment.

Looking forward to what 2009 has to offer.

[Saint John]

But especially to Arnel. Your sacrifices have not gone unnoticed.

Sacrifices??? Are you alright dude? You make it sound like the guy is sleeping in a tent in the middle of Iraq! Arnel joins Journey, finally makes some real money (presumably), gets a free laptop from Neal (how generous), and now he's a fucking martyr


John from Boston

Being away from your family for basically 8 straight months is indeed a huge sacrifice. Especially in a foreign land to a 41 year old man that had never left a certain part of the world. And no one's martyring him, John. Merely thanking him.

[Tito]

But especially to Arnel. Your sacrifices have not gone unnoticed.

Sacrifices??? Are you alright dude? You make it sound like the guy is sleeping in a tent in the middle of Iraq! Arnel joins Journey, finally makes some real money (presumably), gets a free laptop from Neal (how generous), and now he's a fucking martyr


John from Boston

You have no heart.

[7 Wishes]

I agree wholeheartedly. I grew up in Europe even though my whole family (except my father and step-mother) was back in the States. I saw my family and friends two months every year for 13 years. And I had the greatest father in the world...but I was heartsick and homesick ALL THE TIME.

[Enigma869]

You have no heart.

Sure I do. You and Dan just keep giving me Jackass Talk flashbacks with all this syrupy shit! Aren't you the dude who started 87 "appreciation threads" here in about 24 hours

It can't be long before we start seeing "wiggle" threads


John from Boston

[Onestepper]

But especially to Arnel. Your sacrifices have not gone unnoticed.

Sacrifices??? Are you alright dude? You make it sound like the guy is sleeping in a tent in the middle of Iraq! Arnel joins Journey, finally makes some real money (presumably), gets a free laptop from Neal (how generous), and now he's a fucking martyr


John from Boston

No one said he was a martyr. He said he could sympathize with him. Sorry that not everyone is as strong willed and cold hearted as John from Boston.

[Tito]

You have no heart.

Sure I do. You and Dan just keep giving me Jackass Talk flashbacks with all this syrupy shit! Aren't you the dude who started 87 "appreciation threads" here in about 24 hours

It can't be long before we start seeing "wiggle" threads


John from Boston

No, but it could've been. Andrew shut me down. I think I only got 5 or 6 off over 3 or 4 weeks.

[PowerChords]

I told Tito a story over the phone the other night about an instance where I was homesick. Needless to say, telling him the story was a huge mistake. I've decided that it would be in my best interest to share a somewhat personal story than have him bother me 239 times a fucking day asking me to post it. So, without further adieu, here it is.

I graduated college in 1996 (hard to believe I know ). Immediately after graduation I had to go to Greece, a place where I have many wonderful relatives and at the time had 2 brothers and a sister. I was there to settle some legal matters from a small inheritance I recieved. I had been to Greece 9 times prior, basically every other year or so for 20 years, starting at age 4. I was very familiar with all of my relatives and as usual excited about seeing everyone again.

The trip was a blast for the first month or so. Beaches, booze, clubs and family. It doesn't get much better than that. However, the legal matters took much longer than expected and around the 6 week mark I started to get a bit homesick, mostly missing my friends and family in the U.S. After about 8 weeks I really started missing "little things" like my bed, a newspaper, local news, and of course the aforementioned things even more. Bear with me here, I'm going off of memory, but I believe these time frames to be pretty accurate. After 10 weeks it was completely un-fucking-bearable. Mind you, I'm surrounded by people that I love at the time and they were treating me like a king. It's something I couldn't and still can't explain.

What I'm getting to is this. Journey can give Arnel every luxury known to man. Laptops, his own tour bus, a 24 karat gold bed, etc. is not going to change the fact that the guy is homesick. Having seen him in person and seeing what I'll refer to as "a smiling face with empty eyes" I can completely relate to what he's going through. He's trying his best, out of courtesy, to keep smiling and purport a facade of happiness, but it's simply not the truth. The guy wants to see his family and go home.

The only cure for being homesick is.......going home!!! If what I think is happening indeed is (Arnel is getting an extended amount of time home from the previous plan) then I applaud Journey and management for making a very good decision. I hope this is the case. If not, it's something to consider. At any rate, I wish Arnel a speedy final 10 days and hope that his travels home in about 2 weeks are safe and peaceful. You've exceeded everyone's expectations...as has this CD, tour and bill. I can honestly say that this has been one of the funnest summers of my life because Journey brought me together with friends in Las Vegas (twice), Dallas, Charlotte, New York, Cleveland and Chicago. Not to mention all of the new friends I made. Thanks to everyone, from the band, to all of the Pinoys I've met to all of those wonderful friends along the way. But especially to Arnel. Your sacrifices have not gone unnoticed. Salamat.

Fuckin' pussy...




Just kidding. Great post as always.

[Enigma869]

Sorry that not everyone is as strong willed and cold hearted as John from Boston.

Go fuck yourself! Is that "cold hearted" enough for you, asshole


John from Boston

[StyxCollector]

I tend to agree with John from Boston. Arnel had to know what he was getting into or he's extemely naive. I'm not saying he wasn't homesick at all, and to some degree I feel bad for the guy, but it is what it is. He knew the schedule and what he was being asked to do. Arnel made a conscious choice to join Journey. Journey isn't a studio act only who does selected dates. Journey tours. A lot.

Do you get sympathy when your workplace if you miss your pet during the day? Or your kid? Do they just let you go home whenever you want to see your kid or pet? Chances are that answer is no. They expect you to be there 8 hours (sans lunch) and do your fucking job. This is Arnel's job which he agreed to do.

Journey has a break coming up, and he'll go home then. Such is life as a member of a rock band.

[Wildfire]

Dang, John..give it up dude. You don't have a softer side that you can't empathize with Arnel?

Ya know I'm on not the Journey band wagon today, die hard Perry fan (yes a loon). I do think out of all the crap Journey's thru the past year or so that Arnel is the bright light that carries the band forward. I agree, give Arnel props, being aways from home in a foreign land has to be hard. Living with all the perks doesn't stop you missing all that you know & love..including family.

[Onestepper]

Sorry that not everyone is as strong willed and cold hearted as John from Boston.

Go fuck yourself! Is that "cold hearted" enough for you, asshole


John from Boston

No, keep trying. Your routine is old.

[Arkansas]

But especially to Arnel. Your sacrifices have not gone unnoticed.

Sacrifices??? Are you alright dude? You make it sound like the guy is sleeping in a tent in the middle of Iraq! Arnel joins Journey, finally makes some real money (presumably), gets a free laptop from Neal (how generous), and now he's a fucking martyr


John from Boston

No one said he was a martyr. He said he could sympathize with him. Sorry that not everyone is as strong willed and cold hearted as John from Boston.

So our military personnel are all 'strong willed' & 'cold hearted'?
Again, go talk to a Veteran about being away from family...with low pay & hostile environments.
I understand being homesick, but it's never as bad as you think.

AP has it made. Period.
Half a mill for a few months of 'misery'. Jeez. We should all be so lucky.


later~

[Jana]

Great post, Saint John. In the interview with Neal that was posted you could see a sadness still. Even when he laughed there was that sadness in his eyes. It wasn't the same guy from previous interviews, so I believe what you say you saw when meeting him.

It's been a hard tour and I'm glad he's getting a rest. But I also agree with Styxcollector, it is a touring band. But they need to have breaks definitely not just for him to see family but for his voice. Otherwise, he'll burn out physically and emotionally. It's a very hard catalogue of music. He's putting himself on the line every night. And I think they should stop these three back-to-back nights they've done in the tour. But having said that, it is a touring band, and if he can never adjust to being in different cities night after night on tour, that worries me. It's part of being in a band. But I think he will adjust. He just needs some time in between with his loved ones to recharge. Good decision, Neal and Jon.



"ARNEL MAKES ME A BETTER GUY JUST KNOWING HIM" - JONATHAN CAIN

[fightingilliniJRNY]

Do you get sympathy when your workplace if you miss your pet during the day? Or your kid? Do they just let you go home whenever you want to see your kid or pet? Chances are that answer is no. They expect you to be there 8 hours (sans lunch) and do your fucking job. This is Arnel's job which he agreed to do.

Let's see...8 hours, and then you go home for the night, versus 8 months of hotel rooms and buses in a strange, unfamiliar country. Yeah, you can compare what Arnel is doing with Journey with a normal job.

Once again, a good topic has turned into a pissing match because some people think that just because Arnel signed up to sing for Journey they own his soul. I'm pleased they decided not to go back out in the winter. The guy has all the demands of being a post-Perry Journey singer, plus the fact that he is doing it in a foreign country without his family. I can empathize with that.

[chica]

Everyone has their own opinion. ..... Mine is: GREAT POST Saint John!!!

[StyxCollector]

home for the night, versus 8 months of hotel rooms and buses in a strange, unfamiliar country. Yeah, you can compare what Arnel is doing with Journey with a normal job.

Once again, a good topic has turned into a pissing match because some people think that just because Arnel signed up to sing for Journey they own his soul. I'm pleased they decided not to go back out in the winter. The guy has all the demands of being a post-Perry Journey singer, plus the fact that he is doing it in a foreign country without his family. I can empathize with that.

Well, as someone who, for long stretches, has been on the road for work (and that includes most of the past 8 - 9 years), it's a conscious choice. It's easy for some, hard for others. It either gets easier or harder, and clearly Arnel is in the harder category. So that's a better example if you will ... I think I've spent more time in hotel rooms and in airports especially since 2003 than I have at home (and this includes working outside the USA). Am I asking for anyone's sympathy due to MY choice? No. Has it made some thing hard for me? Yup, but you deal with it.

I have no dog in the Perry-Augeri-Soto-Arnel fight. I think the decision not to go out any time soon is as much a business decision as anything else. IF Arnel is as homesick as all signs indicate and IF Journey doesn't want to lose him, they made a choice. Save the singer, save the band. Maybe they have learned.

I still feel for the guy, but really, I'm not that sympathetic because he made that choice to go on the road.

[Saint John]

Well, as someone who, for long stretches, has been on the road for work (and that includes most of the past 8 - 9 years), it's a conscious choice.

And you did this in which foreign country?

[Tito]

Have you been away at 4 to 8 months consecutively though?

[fightingilliniJRNY]

I have no dog in the Perry-Augeri-Soto-Arnel fight. I think the decision not to go out any time soon is as much a business decision as anything else. IF Arnel is as homesick as all signs indicate and IF Journey doesn't want to lose him, they made a choice. Save the singer, save the band. Maybe they have learned.

I think they've learned that Arnel is the best thing that's happened to them in years, so they have decided to take care of him. Good for them. Maybe they really have learned from running previous singers into the ground. They're doing this the right way.

[fightingilliniJRNY]

Well, as someone who, for long stretches, has been on the road for work (and that includes most of the past 8 - 9 years), it's a conscious choice.

And you did this in which foreign country?

Right.

[fightingilliniJRNY]

Have you been away at 4 to 8 months consecutively though?

And right.

[StyxCollector]

Well, as someone who, for long stretches, has been on the road for work (and that includes most of the past 8 - 9 years), it's a conscious choice.

And you did this in which foreign country?

It wasn't Canada lol Why does it matter? Foreign country is foreign country. Heck, going to some states in the US is like going to another country. It's no different if you're in Europe or Texas. Not home is not home.

[Enigma869]

Dang, John..give it up dude. You don't have a softer side that you can't empathize with Arnel?

First off, I never said that I didn't empathize with Arnel being away from his family. I happen to have a two year old son, who I never like being away from. My comments were really just giving Dan shit, for Dan's over the top dramatics about Arnel's "sacrifices", hence the emoticons!


John from Boston

[Rhiannon]

Well, as someone who, for long stretches, has been on the road for work (and that includes most of the past 8 - 9 years), it's a conscious choice. It's easy for some, hard for others. It either gets easier or harder, and clearly Arnel is in the harder category. So that's a better example if you will ... I think I've spent more time in hotel rooms and in airports especially since 2003 than I have at home (and this includes working outside the USA). Am I asking for anyone's sympathy due to MY choice? No. Has it made some thing hard for me? Yup, but you deal with it.

I agree totally, some people are wired different and handle being away from home and family better or worse. Today marks exactly six months since I moved to Chicago. I've had three distinct bouts of homesickness that almost drove me back to Virginia. After 3 weeks, again around 2 months, and then about a month ago. Lasted maybe a day or two. Getting really nostalgic thinking about home and what I'm missing, and my little brother begging me to come see him. The air, the mountains, chilling at my aunt's car shop with a beer in the evenings talking about how crazy my Granny was... little things. Big things.

But, for me it's getting easier. I (and I think Arnel can relate maybe) realize that I'm doing this because it is what is best for me right now. The money, the opportunity, and getting to what I want in life. Home will always be waiting on me, and I miss everyone... but I know if I go back there's nothing there for me. These six months have flown by though. I hope Arnel can just take a few breaths, go home, relax, and assure himself that it is a little sacrifice now for a bigger gain in the end.

[Saint John]

My comments were really just giving Dan shit, for Dan's over the top dramatics about Arnel's "sacrifices", hence the emoticons!

lol...for saying this? "Thanks to everyone, from the band, to all of the Pinoys I've met to all of those wonderful friends along the way. But especially to Arnel. Your sacrifices have not gone unnoticed."

That's "over the top dramatics?"

[StyxCollector]

Have you been away at 4 to 8 months consecutively though?

Length of time is relative. Whether it's a day or 8 months, some people are prone to missing their loved ones or other stuff immensely. I know plenty of folks on the road who check in more than once a day. I'm not that kind of guy, but that's just me.

I've done longer shots consecutively as well as the whole M - Th, or M - F, but back out on Sunday thing to be there for Monday. Home is more of a stopover to change clothes - you're not home, really. And chances are you're still doing work.

That's why you have divides like DDY and Styx. DDY likes to tour, but at a different pace than Styx. Tommy is a road dog, Dennis is not. Neil is a road dog, Arnel is not. This is going to be challenging for Journey going forward but at least it seems like they are listening to Arnel.