OT: Rant Sorry...but here we go...

[journeywoman]

I have to say you are definetly creative.

[Ms_M]

Very creative revenge, Deano. If my ex was worth the trouble, I'd be callin' you for ideas!! At this rate, this thread may get more popular than the Booze thread!!!

[Rockindeano]

Oh, thanks for the kudos, but it is true.

I did so much more than that to get her back. I would awaken at 400A to go to work at Lowe's and she would be asleep. I knew she was fucking around, so every morning, I would take a dump and read the Times....after said dump, I would help scrub the toilet bowl out with her toothbrush. I did other shit too, like take her dogs fresh shit, and smear in her flip flops on occasion.

She fucked up by cheating.

[chf34jmac]

glad i'm on your good side. and that I live all the way across the country from you.

[Aaron]

Holy shit dude, you are my hero. The only way that could be any better is if you were boinking her sister and not her best friend. I'm working that plan as I type. Thanks for the inspiration!

A piece of advice was given to me...and I tried for a good year to put into action...and when the opportunity was presented with itself....I did put it into action, it worked like a charm.

Fuck her best friend! (even if she's ugly or fat)

I dated a girl back in 93 for about 11 months. When she left me, she left me in emotional ruin....and it took a long time to clear that crap from my head. Even so, up to a year afterwards, when I thought about the relationship, I only thought about the pain.

One night, I go to see a friend's band....and she's there with a very close friend (whom I never met up until that point). She wasn't fat, but she had a face that would send the st paddy's day parade down a side street. While the band is packing up, I found myself in the backseat of my '78 chevy malibu doing the nasty (and in her case, it was most definitely 'the nasty') with her....afterwards, she gets out of the car and I start wiping down the fog from the windows, I see the ex-girlfriend waiting at her friend's car....she sees her get out of my car, then looks at me...and the expression on her face was of complete deflation. She was completely destroyed at the concept that she would have to drive home with her friend...

From that day on, I was completely healed. I never thought about that ex-bitch ever again...and whenever I met her in later years, there was a complete understanding between us that I got the last laugh and she knew it.

[Rockindeano]

Tremendous work Frank.

I have another one. A different Devil bitch who fucked my life up..O boy, I remember the fucking Day!

She wanted a baby and I knew it, but didn't think she would stoop to a new level. She always said, "I like putting on the condom..excites me." Yeah, how cool is that, eh?

So after about a month of this shit, one morning, I was alone and I used to keep porn mags between the mattress and the box spring...So I was horny and needed some bathroom material. I reached between the mattress and boxpring and was "grabbing blind" meaning whatever I grabbed, that would do the trick for me. I reach in and a sharp little prick stings my finger. "What the Fuck?".......I look in the and there are a pair of scissors. Apparently, this Bitch, was snipping the tip of the condom off to let the Baby Batter leak through. Oh Boy was I torched. So, about 2 days later, she was over and the morning after, I made breakfast. Well, I decided to add a little special sauce to her eggs and her bacon. She hated that shit, and I knew it. Watching her eat my jizz was hilarious. I told her I had shot on her eggs and bacon and she hurled all over herself. Classic.

[Andrew]

Oh good Lord.

I don't know what to say of this thread. I am simply speachless

Keep it coming though...

[Ratgirl]

OMG Dean...

**note to self** "Dont piss Dean off".

[strangegrey]

So after about a month of this shit, one morning, I was alone and I used to keep porn mags between the mattress and the box spring...So I was horny and needed some bathroom material. I reached between the mattress and bosspring and was "grabbing blind" meaning whatever I grabbed, that would do the trick for me. I reach in and a sharp little prick stings my finger. "What the Fuck?".......I look in the and there are a pair of scissors. Apparently, this Bitch, was snipping the tip of the condom off to let the Baby Batter leak through. Oh Boy was I torched. So, about 2 days later, she was over and the morning after, I made breakfast. Well, I decided to add a little special sauce to her eggs and her bacon. She hated that shit, and I knew it. Watching her eat my jizz was hilarious. I told her I had shot on her eggs and bacon and she hurled all over herself. Classic.

Just tell her it's Egg's Benedict...er BeneDeano:

[FormerJrnyFan]

Tremendous work Frank.

I have another one. A different Devil bitch who fucked my life up..O boy, I remember the fucking Day!

She wanted a baby and I knew it, but didn't think she would stoop to a new level. She always said, "I like putting on the condom..excites me." Yeah, how cool is that, eh?

So after about a month of this shit, one morning, I was alone and I used to keep porn mags between the mattress and the box spring...So I was horny and needed some bathroom material. I reached between the mattress and bosspring and was "grabbing blind" meaning whatever I grabbed, that would do the trick for me. I reach in and a sharp little prick stings my finger. "What the Fuck?".......I look in the and there are a pair of scissors. Apparently, this Bitch, was snipping the tip of the condom off to let the Baby Batter leak through. Oh Boy was I torched. So, about 2 days later, she was over and the morning after, I made breakfast. Well, I decided to add a little special sauce to her eggs and her bacon. She hated that shit, and I knew it. Watching her eat my jizz was hilarious. I told her I had shot on her eggs and bacon and she hurled all over herself. Classic.

So, let's rename this the "Deano" thread

Ah fucker, I'm laughing, don't bash!

[JrnyScarab]

Just stopped in to check out the latest threads and I gotta admit: This is THE thread to end all threads. Deano should get a job at the local college teaching creative writing! Except I don't think they would appreciate his content too much. Me, I'm laughing my ass off over and over with each post.

Ed

[T-Bone]

I was engaged to a girl back in 95-96 and after we moved in together, the sex stopped and pretty much and cuddle time as well. I had got her a job at the casino I worked at and found that to be one of my bigger mistakes... too much availibility there. I wasn't sure, but found out later she was nailed by at least 3 of my co-workers. Well... after we broke up, I still remained friends with her older sister. One night a chat ended up in me driving to her house for a movie, and then get there to find her wearing a cute little outfit she normally wouldn't wear. After about 1/3 of the movie, we were going at it on the couch and all over her apartment. It took my ex about a week to find out. I called it off due to the fact that the older sister was a little "needy" to say the least.

Fast forward 3 years later (1999)

The ex and I remained friends for most of the 3 years and towards the end, we were best of friends, but decided to try a relationship again. It started off fine just like last time, but all down hill from there. We fought as usual, she was a messy slob as usual, which left me doing almost ALL the housework because she was lazy as hell. On top of that her family annoyed the shit out of me, but she always invited them over. Her little sister always managed to show up hungry and always helped herself to whatever she wanted. I'd be getting ready for work the next day and find half the shit I had bought for lunch... gone. I'd come home from work and find the little sister at the house, and miraculously brough over her laundry to do at our place (My water bill and my elec bill). And then help herself to food anyway.

Sooo.... around 2 years into the relationship, I started getting suspicious of her again, because she can't cover her tracks to save her life. No proof, but still things didn't add up. Anywhooo... Little sis came over about 3 times a week for this and that, and many times slept over at the house. One night, I came home and gf was gone, but little sis was there watching the kid. She had to show me something.. she pulled down the strap on her tanktop and pulled out the mini B-Cups to show me she got her nipple pierced. After that little bit of excitement, I asked her where Sarah was and she said she went out with her co-workers. I went to work that night pissed off because I knoew she was off somewhere else. I came home the next morning and crawled into bed. I decided to have a little fun with her. I tpyed with her a little and managed to "rub her down" only to find out that it was little sis in bed, and not Sarah Too late... the damaged had been done... or... well.. at least started. Next thing I know she grabbed my junk and off went the shorts. She said something to the effect that Sarah had told her that we hadn't had sex in 2 months or something, and then she said... "Her Loss" and she crawled on and went for a ride. Talk about feeling guilty... all 3 sisters... nailed

She got up and went back to her place and Sarah came home hung over as hell, and went straight to bed. I watched the kid all day and little sis came back over to get her bag that she left, and ended up getting too flirty and ended up nailed again on the couch while Zach was napping.

3 months later Sarah and I broke up because things weren't working anyway, she had been cheating for about 6 months from what I found out. Little sis and I never told anyone about our little fling Just to keep the peace in her family.

The funny thing is, after all the bullshit, 2 relationships and other shit, to this very day, we're still best friends Relationship doesn't work, but the friendship does, so we leave it that way.


Just a note: Little sis was 19 at the time we played hide the salami

[whocares]

Oh good Lord.

I don't know what to say of this thread. I am simply speachless

Keep it coming though...

I knew you had a twisted side, ya hairy little thing you.

[ohsosoto]

Dwell on her every waking moment. Get some surveliance equipment and record her every move. "Accidentally" show up places where you know she is going to be. Call her - at least once every half hour. She will like this especially. If she isn't home leave long detailed messages on her answering machine. Get her name tatooed somewhere and show her.

Send her love letters, but make sure you cut out the letters and paste them onto the page. It is more romantic that way. See the example below.



Drink lots of alcohol and listen to "Us and Them" by Pink Floyd over and over again in a continuous loop.

Hope this helps.

and then when you get arrested, make sure your one phone call is to her!

[squirt1]

Liam- Let her go and if she comes to her senses make it on your terms (reasonable)and take your time. It happened to me in different circumstances but it worked out. All I can say is he was my best friend and soul mate. Make that your criteria. Thanks for helping me awhile back ! You have a great MR family.

[Aaron]

Holy Shit T, you're now a God! I can't wait to hear the story of the final conversation if your friendship with her goes south. : )

You da man.

I was engaged to a girl back in 95-96 and after we moved in together, the sex stopped and pretty much and cuddle time as well. I had got her a job at the casino I worked at and found that to be one of my bigger mistakes... too much availibility there. I wasn't sure, but found out later she was nailed by at least 3 of my co-workers. Well... after we broke up, I still remained friends with her older sister. One night a chat ended up in me driving to her house for a movie, and then get there to find her wearing a cute little outfit she normally wouldn't wear. After about 1/3 of the movie, we were going at it on the couch and all over her apartment. It took my ex about a week to find out. I called it off due to the fact that the older sister was a little "needy" to say the least.

Fast forward 3 years later (1999)

The ex and I remained friends for most of the 3 years and towards the end, we were best of friends, but decided to try a relationship again. It started off fine just like last time, but all down hill from there. We fought as usual, she was a messy slob as usual, which left me doing almost ALL the housework because she was lazy as hell. On top of that her family annoyed the shit out of me, but she always invited them over. Her little sister always managed to show up hungry and always helped herself to whatever she wanted. I'd be getting ready for work the next day and find half the shit I had bought for lunch... gone. I'd come home from work and find the little sister at the house, and miraculously brough over her laundry to do at our place (My water bill and my elec bill). And then help herself to food anyway.

Sooo.... around 2 years into the relationship, I started getting suspicious of her again, because she can't cover her tracks to save her life. No proof, but still things didn't add up. Anywhooo... Little sis came over about 3 times a week for this and that, and many times slept over at the house. One night, I came home and gf was gone, but little sis was there watching the kid. She had to show me something.. she pulled down the strap on her tanktop and pulled out the mini B-Cups to show me she got her nipple pierced. After that little bit of excitement, I asked her where Sarah was and she said she went out with her co-workers. I went to work that night pissed off because I knoew she was off somewhere else. I came home the next morning and crawled into bed. I decided to have a little fun with her. I tpyed with her a little and managed to "rub her down" only to find out that it was little sis in bed, and not Sarah Too late... the damaged had been done... or... well.. at least started. Next thing I know she grabbed my junk and off went the shorts. She said something to the effect that Sarah had told her that we hadn't had sex in 2 months or something, and then she said... "Her Loss" and she crawled on and went for a ride. Talk about feeling guilty... all 3 sisters... nailed

She got up and went back to her place and Sarah came home hung over as hell, and went straight to bed. I watched the kid all day and little sis came back over to get her bag that she left, and ended up getting too flirty and ended up nailed again on the couch while Zach was napping.

3 months later Sarah and I broke up because things weren't working anyway, she had been cheating for about 6 months from what I found out. Little sis and I never told anyone about our little fling Just to keep the peace in her family.

The funny thing is, after all the bullshit, 2 relationships and other shit, to this very day, we're still best friends Relationship doesn't work, but the friendship does, so we leave it that way.


Just a note: Little sis was 19 at the time we played hide the salami

[larryfromnextdoor]

I was engaged to a girl back .....................

oh my goodness t-bone!!! you dont talk much , but when you do ,, we find out tons about you!!!! riviting story man...

[larryfromnextdoor]

liam , the next time your down watch this video...
Middle Aged Women Should Stay Home
big time laughs..


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGbbh9-zFOM

[T-Bone]

I have other mishaps, stories, conquests, and eye openers, but I'll keep those to myself. Maybe write a book someday...










































Or not....

[T-Bone]

Holy Shit T, you're now a God! I can't wait to hear the story of the final conversation if your friendship with her goes south. : )

You da man.

Not to worry... this is one of those friendships that you just have a feeling about. We get along great and can talk about anything, except relationships

[Rockindeano]

Liam, have you not read the horror stories here in this thread and seen the damage women have done and the revengeful terror I possess? That isn't healthful dude.

I had an ex who drove me up the fuckin wall. I mean, we'd be at a stoplight, and sometimes I felt like getting out of the car and just run yelling, "oh fuck, I hate you!"


I would come home from work, and would have to drink a six pack of Molson to keep from cuttin of her fuckin head off and puttin' it a fuckin' bowling bag.

This was 12 years ago, and just typing this has me shaking with rage.

[Tomulator]

How sad...really.

Don't let ANY female dictate how you feel!

You have got to believe in yourself a bit more than that...it's hard sometimes but, man it HAS to be done!

Just DO IT!!

[strangegrey]

T-Bone, that's fantastic...nailing all 3 sisters in a family. It begs the question...was one any better than the other 2....and did anthing stand out (beyond looks) that would suggest they were sisters (if you didn't actually know that)...?


Now, you have to work on nailing all 3 of them at the same time!!! That would be a feat worthy of canonization.

Saint T-bone!!!

[belar]

Dean, awesome revenge stories, man.

T-Bone, you are a GOD! Three sisters?!? Nicely done.

[Lady Luck]

Oh good Lord.

I don't know what to say of this thread. I am simply speachless

Keep it coming though...

I'm laughing so hard, my side feels like it's going to bust.

[T-Bone]

T-Bone, that's fantastic...nailing all 3 sisters in a family. It begs the question...was one any better than the other 2....and did anthing stand out (beyond looks) that would suggest they were sisters (if you didn't actually know that)...?


Now, you have to work on nailing all 3 of them at the same time!!! That would be a feat worthy of canonization.

Saint T-bone!!!

Little sis and my girlfriend looked very much alike other than boob size. The older sister looked completely different, as she was blonde/blue eyes..... And all 3 at the same time is outta the question. I'm happily engaged now with a little poop machine due any day now.

[sindee67]

liam , the next time your down watch this video...
Middle Aged Women Should Stay Home
big time laughs..


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGbbh9-zFOM

Just what it says, TYPICAL MALE STUFF!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xszCDooZBOE&NR=1

[Liam]

Shit. I'm sorry I fell asleep last night instead of remaining here.
Relationships/Love just suck a lot of the time don't they. Don't worry...I'm feeling better today. Just was being quite bipolar yesterday. But thanks everyone for the stories and encouragment. Y'all FUCKIN' ROCK.

[Soto All The Way]

Tremendous work Frank.

I have another one. A different Devil bitch who fucked my life up..O boy, I remember the fucking Day!

She wanted a baby and I knew it, but didn't think she would stoop to a new level. She always said, "I like putting on the condom..excites me." Yeah, how cool is that, eh?

So after about a month of this shit, one morning, I was alone and I used to keep porn mags between the mattress and the box spring...So I was horny and needed some bathroom material. I reached between the mattress and boxpring and was "grabbing blind" meaning whatever I grabbed, that would do the trick for me. I reach in and a sharp little prick stings my finger. "What the Fuck?".......I look in the and there are a pair of scissors. Apparently, this Bitch, was snipping the tip of the condom off to let the Baby Batter leak through. Oh Boy was I torched. So, about 2 days later, she was over and the morning after, I made breakfast. Well, I decided to add a little special sauce to her eggs and her bacon. She hated that shit, and I knew it. Watching her eat my jizz was hilarious. I told her I had shot on her eggs and bacon and she hurled all over herself. Classic.

Simply fucking priceless...this should be an episode of an X-rated sitcom like Sienfield.....

Reminder to self: Don't ever piss Dean off again!!!!

e-

[Rockindeano]

Liam, give me her phone number. I am going to call her and tape it.

I have a plan....