OT: Corrupt A Wish

[T-Bone]

I wish that I could have a new vehicle.

Granted. The vehicle is a unicycle.

I wish I was taller.

Granted, but now your boobs and butt are flat.

I wish I had a dollar for every time Madsplash said We'll SEE.

Granted, but you drowned in your money

I wish I could walk on water

[artist4perry]

Granted. Your demise will be swift and sudden. You won't feel a thing.

I wish I knew what lies at the edge of our universe.

Granted...........it is a lawyer, and he is sending you a lawsuit as we speak.

I wish I could be as funny as Rhiannon.

Granted, but at the same time you get your wish, Rhiannon loses her humor.

I wish I were making 6 figures.

Granted, you can have my job because I'm bored because we're slow and then I can retire like I wished for several posts ago that nobody granted for me.

I wish i can retire early, again.

Look above...........you said I wish I could retire early.

I said go to bed.........

I wish Ken would read all the posts before wishing........the same wish.

You're right, I missed that. My mistake. All kidding aside, I'm thankful for having this job in this economy. Looks like I might get my hours cut to 30 a week for awhile. We are getting really slow. It's happened a few times before and it's always temporary. Then we get busy and put on overtime. But I try to look on the bright side. I'll finally have the time to build a new fence that hurricane Ike blew away. And maybe if I lump my extra days off together, go on a mini vacation somewhere.

Hang in there. I am only working as a sub. Summers coming and no job so far for that time. I would be happy with 30 hours. But I know what your saying.

[Jubilee]

I wish I could walk on water

Granted. But you will quickly succumb to dehydration as you will be unable to break any water tension.

I wish I had enough room for a flower garden.

[TRAGChick]

I wish I could walk on water

Granted. But you will quickly succumb to dehydration as you will be unable to break any water tension.

I wish I had enough room for a flower garden.

Granted....but you planted nothing but Spiderwort; it took over your yard.....and you CAN'T KILL IT!!! (found that out the hard way.... )

I wish that no one would ever interrupt me again

[artist4perry]

I wish I could walk on water

Granted. But you will quickly succumb to dehydration as you will be unable to break any water tension.

I wish I had enough room for a flower garden.

Granted, but all that will grow there are weeds and crabgrass.

I wish I could meet Salvador Dali.

[Deacon]

I wish I could walk on water

Granted. But you will quickly succumb to dehydration as you will be unable to break any water tension.

I wish I had enough room for a flower garden.

Granted....but you planted nothing but Spiderwort, and you CAN'T KILL IT!!! (found that out the hard way.... )

I wish that no one would ever interrupt me again

Granted but no one would ever talk to you again.

I wish that I had a 52" widescreen LCD HDTV.

[YoungJRNY]

I wish I could walk on water

Granted. But you will quickly succumb to dehydration as you will be unable to break any water tension.

I wish I had enough room for a flower garden.

Granted, but little do you know, your 'flowers' grow to be 6 ft 8 man eaters

I wish I could think of something to wish about

[TRAGChick]

I wish I could walk on water

Granted. But you will quickly succumb to dehydration as you will be unable to break any water tension.

I wish I had enough room for a flower garden.

Granted....but you planted nothing but Spiderwort, and you CAN'T KILL IT!!! (found that out the hard way.... )

I wish that no one would ever interrupt me again

Granted but no one would ever talk to you again.

I wish that I had a 52" widescreen LCD HDTV.

Granted, but you didn't hook it up to the wall correctly, and it crashed to the ground.

I wish that I could buy clothes without trying them on.....and they all fit PERFECTLY!

[Jubilee]

I wish that no one would ever interrupt me again

Granted. But your house burns down because, although the fire department came to your home because it was on fire, they could see you were busy, so they left.

I wish I could sneak a peek at one of the confidentiality agreements Perry allegedly has everyone sign.

[KenTheDude]

I wish I could walk on water

Granted. But you will quickly succumb to dehydration as you will be unable to break any water tension.

I wish I had enough room for a flower garden.

Granted....but you planted nothing but Spiderwort, and you CAN'T KILL IT!!! (found that out the hard way.... )

I wish that no one would ever interrupt me again

Granted but no one would ever talk to you again.

I wish that I had a 52" widescreen LCD HDTV.

Granted, but you didn't hook it up to the wall correctly, and it crashed to the ground.

I wish that I could buy clothes without trying them on.....and they all fit PERFECTLY!

Granted, but they are all lime green, orange & purple polyester.

I wish the Cubs would win the World Series

[Rhiannon]

I wish the Cubs would win the World Series

Granted... but the next day brings the Apocalypse.

I wish I would bump into Ryan Theriot on the street and he'd wisk me away to some beach.

[artist4perry]

I wish I could walk on water

Granted. But you will quickly succumb to dehydration as you will be unable to break any water tension.

I wish I had enough room for a flower garden.

Granted....but you planted nothing but Spiderwort, and you CAN'T KILL IT!!! (found that out the hard way.... )

I wish that no one would ever interrupt me again

Granted but no one would ever talk to you again.

I wish that I had a 52" widescreen LCD HDTV.

Granted, but you didn't hook it up to the wall correctly, and it crashed to the ground.

I wish that I could buy clothes without trying them on.....and they all fit PERFECTLY!

Granted, but they are all lime green, orange & purple polyester.

I wish the Cubs would win the World Series

Granted, but there was a huge error and the Cardinals take the win away from them.

i wish I could eat all the sweets I want and never gain a pound.

[TRAGChick]

I wish that I had a 52" widescreen LCD HDTV.

Granted, but you didn't hook it up to the wall correctly, and it crashed to the ground.

I wish that I could buy clothes without trying them on.....and they all fit PERFECTLY!

Granted, but they are all lime green, orange & purple polyester.

I wish the Cubs would win the World Series

Granted, but there was a huge error and the Cardinals take the win away from them.

i wish I could eat all the sweets I want and never gain a pound.

Granted....but now you've got huge zits all over your face.

I wish there was no such thing as rush-hour Traffic.

[T-Bone]

Granted, but now all the cars disappeared and everyone is WALKING down the highway



I wish I worked for 1 hour, but got paid for 12

[Jubilee]

I wish there was no such thing as rush-hour Traffic.

Granted. Now traffic is jammed 24/7.

I wish I had a puppy.

[TRAGChick]

Granted, but now all the cars disappeared and everyone is WALKING down the highway

I wish I worked for 1 hour, but got paid for 12

Granted.....but you work for an hour in the Sahara Desert, drilling for water.

I wish there were no re-runs of "Everybody Loves Raymond".....EVER!!!

[S2M]

I wish there was no such thing as rush-hour Traffic.

Granted. Now traffic is jammed 24/7.

I wish I had a puppy.

Granted. But it only barks between the hours of 11pm - 5am.


I wish I was smart enough to cure autism and Cancer.

[Jana]

Granted, but you will look like Woody Allen.

I wish I was a trained dancer.

[Jubilee]

I wish I was a trained dancer.

Granted. But you're a poodle in a pink tutu.

I wish I could get someone else to do my yard work this summer.

[TRAGChick]

I wish I could sneak a peek at one of the confidentiality agreements Perry allegedly has everyone sign.

Granted....but you find out that it's written in "special ink" a-la Harry Potter's "Marauder's Map" - it can only be read by the people it's addressed to.

I wish that family pets can open their OWN cans of food.

[S2M]

Granted, but you will look like Woody Allen.

I wish I was a trained dancer.

Granted. But after training you would be no better than you were when you started...

I wish I were 4 inches taller.

[Jubilee]

I wish that family pets can open their OWN cans of food.

Granted. But when the family pets realize they can feed themselves, they decide they no longer need the family around.

I wish my car was self-cleaning.

[Jubilee]

I wish I were 4 inches taller.

Granted. Your torso grows, but your arms are the same length and you can no longer put your hands in your pockets.

I wish I knew what makes McDonald's fries taste so good.

[G.I.Jim]

I wish I were 4 inches taller.

Granted. Your torso grows, but your arms are the same length and you can no longer put your hands in your pockets.

I wish I knew what makes McDonald's fries taste so good.

Granted, but after you see their "Secret ingredient", you no longer like them.

I wish Stocktontomalone would reply to my post about Kansas

[bluejeangirl76]

I wish I were 4 inches taller.

Granted. Your torso grows, but your arms are the same length and you can no longer put your hands in your pockets.

I wish I knew what makes McDonald's fries taste so good.

Granted, but the answer is ground mouse tail flavor and now you never want to eat them again.

I wish football season were only 2 weeks long.

[bluejeangirl76]

I wish I were 4 inches taller.

Granted. Your torso grows, but your arms are the same length and you can no longer put your hands in your pockets.

I wish I knew what makes McDonald's fries taste so good.

Granted, but after you see their "Secret ingredient", you no longer like them.

I wish Stocktontomalone would reply to my post about Kansas

Granted, but once he does, he develops a huge man crush on you and you can't get rid of him.

I wish Paris Hilton would go away and never be heard from or seen again.

[WiseOldTabbyCat]

I wish I were 4 inches taller.

Granted. Your torso grows, but your arms are the same length and you can no longer put your hands in your pockets.

I wish I knew what makes McDonald's fries taste so good.

Granted, but the answer is ground mouse tail flavor and now you never want to eat them again.

I wish football season were only 2 weeks long.

Granted, but crime rate significantly increases in your area out of anguish from fellow football fans.

I wish I had a new set of artist pencils.

[G.I.Jim]

I wish I were 4 inches taller.

Granted. Your torso grows, but your arms are the same length and you can no longer put your hands in your pockets.

I wish I knew what makes McDonald's fries taste so good.

Granted, but the answer is ground mouse tail flavor and now you never want to eat them again.

I wish football season were only 2 weeks long.

Granted, but crime rate significantly increases in your area out of anguish from fellow football fans.

I wish I had a new set of artist pencils.

Granted, but once you get them all you can draw are monster penises with buldging veins! I wish I had xray vision

[Rhiannon]

I wish I had xray vision

Granted, but it only works on Neal, Jon, and Ross.

I wish I had all my favorite shows on DVD.

[G.I.Jim]

I wish I had xray vision

Granted, but it only works on Neal, Jon, and Ross.

I wish I had all my favorite shows on DVD.

granted, but once you get them all, some strange occurance happens rendering all dvd players useless!

I wish I was at the beach