Q - What do you call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
A - Homeless
Q - How do you make a guitarist play quieter?
A - Put sheet music in front of him.
Q - Why are so many guitarists jokes one liners?
A - So the rest of the band can understand them.
Q - How do you know when the stage is level?
A - The guitarist is drooling out of both sides of his mouth.
Q - Did you hear about the guitarist who was in tune?
A - Neither have I.
Q - How can you tell a guitarist is at your door?
A - By the Dominos Pizza hat.
Q - Why do guitarists put drumsticks on the dash of their car?
A - So they can park in the handicapped spot.
Did you hear about the guitarist who was going to a gig and locked his keys in the car? It took him two hours to get the drummer out....
Q - How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A - Six, one to change it, and the other five to fight off the lead guitarists who are hogging the light
Q - What did the drummer get on his I.Q. test?
A - Drool.
Q - Why'd the chicken cross the road?
A - To get away from the drum solo.
Q - What do you call a drummer with half a brain?
A - Gifted.
Q - If a dollar bill was laying in the centre of a room, and the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, a drummer with good time, and a drummer with bad time were standing in the corners, who would get the money?
A - The drummer with bad time since the other three don't exist.
Q - How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A - Five: one to screw in the light bulb and four to talk about how much better Neil Peart would have done it!
Q - What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?
A - "Hey, guys - why don't we try one of my songs? ..."
Q - What did the professional drummer say when he got to his job?
A - "Would you like fries with that?"
Q - What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?
A - About four bars by the end of the song.
Q - How can you tell a drummer is walking behind you?
A - You can hear his knuckles dragging on the ground
Q - How do you know when there's a female vocalist at the door?
A - She can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in.
