OT-California joke for Deano

[Angiekay]

Just got this in my email...had to share!

California Then and now:


California -156 years ago!

Do you know what happened this week back in 1850, in
California?
California became a state.
The State had no electricity.
The State had no money.
Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
There were gun fights in the streets.

So basically, it was just like California today except the women
had real breasts and men didn't hold hands.

[Rockindeano]

Pretty accurate. However,

if one of you suckholes can name me one state that is a better place to live, Then you are full of shit.

[Abitaman]

Subject: Three Points to Ponder


(1) Zero Gravity
When NASA started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside-down, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 C.
The Russians used a pencil. Your taxes are due again--enjoy paying them.

(2) Our Constitution
"They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's worked for over 200 years and we're not using it anymore."

(3) Ten Commandments
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse is that you cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians! It creates a hostile work environment.

-ERIC

[Angiekay]

Pretty accurate. However,

if one of you suckholes can name me one state that is a better place to live, Then you are full of shit.

You want a full list or just my top ten?

[Rockindeano]

Pretty accurate. However,

if one of you suckholes can name me one state that is a better place to live, Then you are full of shit.

You want a full list or just my top ten?

Either. Every state you present, I can refute with 5 times the disadvantages.

PS- ERIC, I know you didn't write what you posted...NO Freakin way.

[Angiekay]

Either. Every state you present, I can refute with 5 times the disadvantages.

You refuting?! Well, that would be a...shock. Doesn't mean it would be true. Let's just say, I'd rather live anywhere but California...well, with the exception of the south.

[jrnyman28]

I would take Colorado over California every day of the week. The only problem is all the damn Californians!!

[Rockindeano]

Yeah, Minnesota has it all over California.

Beautiful weather, beaches, mountains and high paying jobs.

Next?

[Rockindeano]

Colorado? Yeah bro, Coors beer..WOOfuckinHOO...peewater. Denver is nice, but it may be 78 one day and snowed in the next. Not a lot of sandy beaches in the Mile High state, and gotta tell ya, Greeley is a beauty of a town. Oh, How can I forget about Coors Field? The biggest Little League Park in the majors.

Next?

[Angiekay]

Yeah, Minnesota has it all over California.

Beautiful weather, beaches, mountains and high paying jobs.

Next?

More lakes, less crime, more clean air, higher percentage of graduates, more wetlands, natural parks, oh did I say cleaner air? No earthquakes, or smog. Oh, and a big fucking mall.


Little snow never hurt anyone.

Next.

[Rockindeano]

Really now. You have one mall...One. California has 1,549 malls.
More Nat'l parks? You are on PCP.
Snow? California gets more of that than Minny too. Can you guys ski in Minny??

Nope. You're done Angie. Thanks for playing, drive home safely.

[Abitaman]

Tennessee has moutains, lakes, rivers, state parks (smokey Mountains), and country girls (I married one )-ERIC

[Rockindeano]

Tennessee is nice, but not as good. You have beautiful country sides, and country girls, but you do have tornados, Hillbilly's, hillbilly's who have sisters as wives, and IQ''s in the low teens.

Next?

[Angiekay]

Really now. You have one mall...One. California has 1,549 malls.
More Nat'l parks? You are on PCP.
Snow? California gets more of that than Minny too. Can you guys ski in Minny??

Nope. You're done Angie. Thanks for playing, drive home safely.

No, we have one really BIG mall and a zillion medium malls. As a matter of fact, yes, you can ski in MN..quite a bit, I've done it a time or two myself. Guess what...you can ski in South Dakota too, isn't that amazing?! Does California have 10,000 lakes? Didn't think so, but you do have one big pond you're all going to fall into someday. Have fun with that!

[Rockindeano]

OMG..I have been there Cakes, and some of those lakes are less than 1 square yard, and tha is fact!

Actually, I love Minnesota. It is clean, and the people are nice.

Nice thread.

[jrnyman28]

Colorado? Yeah bro, Coors beer..WOOfuckinHOO...peewater.

Well you can get Coors anywhere so you can't hold it against the state. They may brew it here but that doesn't make us bad. There is also a Budweiser plant here. The two top selling beers!

Denver is nice, but it may be 78 one day and snowed in the next.

Case in point: 81 on Sunday, 34 with a wind chill factor of 25 on Monday. If you don't like the weather, wait 5 minutes!

Not a lot of sandy beaches in the Mile High state,

So, sand gets everywhere. There are beautiful lakes with beaches if you gotta have 'em.

and gotta tell ya, Greeley is a beauty of a town.

Well, I will give you that one!

Oh, How can I forget about Coors Field? The biggest Little League Park in the majors.

Next?

Coors Field is a beautiful park and there is some great hitting. Too bad the team we have SUCKS!!

You still have not dispelled my belief that this state is a beautiful place to live...

[Rockindeano]

Never said Colorado wasn't beautiful. IMO, the third most beautiful in America, behind Calif. and Washington.

[A Fire Inside]

Who the hell needs lakes?

[Rockindeano]

Who the hell needs lakes?

Lakes? I would rather go to a lake than the ocean....for a couple of reasons.

1) Water skiing.

2) No salt water

3) No sharks.

[NealIsGod]

East Coast, baby.

[jrnyman28]

East Coast, baby.

UGH!!
I lived on the east coast for years...early years. It was fine at the time. But I went back when I got a little older and I realized I HATE humidity and the people's attitudes (in general) sucked. Every one seemed rude.

[NealIsGod]

East Coast, baby.

UGH!!
I lived on the east coast for years...early years. It was fine at the time. But I went back when I got a little older and I realized I HATE humidity and the people's attitudes (in general) sucked. Every one seemed rude.

FUCK YOU!

[Red13JoePa]

East Coast, baby.

UGH!!
I lived on the east coast for years...early years. It was fine at the time. But I went back when I got a little older and I realized I HATE humidity and the people's attitudes (in general) sucked. Every one seemed rude.

FUCK YOU!

NIG!!!!

Dave, you're a good egg.
Gotta side w/ Deano though, I'm sure there's too much not to love about Cali....

[NealIsGod]

You know what's funny? When I travel south (North Carolina and further) I get really impatient with the slow pace of people. I think the more south you go, the slower everybody moves.

My two favorite parts of CA are San Diego and Palm Springs. Heaven on Earth.

[Abitaman]

You know what's funny? When I travel south (North Carolina and further) I get really impatient with the slow pace of people. I think the more south you go, the slower everybody moves. .

you speak the truth there. I thought things moved slow in Tennessee, but when I first moved to Mississippi, I was ready to pull my hair out. The Gulf coast wasn't bad though. Now moving back to Tennessee, things don't seem as slow up here. But the longer I live here, the slower it seems to get-ERIC

[TRAGChick]

East Coast, baby.

UGH!!
I lived on the east coast for years...early years. It was fine at the time. But I went back when I got a little older and I realized I HATE humidity and the people's attitudes (in general) sucked. Every one seemed rude.

GIVE IT UP FOR THE RAT RACE THAT IS NEW ENGLAND!!

You know why attitudes suck and people have lead feet?

I've lived here all my life (in Connecti$#!T) and I'm CONVINCED it's because you've got a TON OF PEOPLE crammed into a state that's the size of a POSTAGE STAMP.

[Rockindeano]

You know what's funny? When I travel south (North Carolina and further) I get really impatient with the slow pace of people. I think the more south you go, the slower everybody moves. .

you speak the truth there. I thought things moved slow in Tennessee, but when I first moved to Mississippi, I was ready to pull my hair out. The Gulf coast wasn't bad though. Now moving back to Tennessee, things don't seem as slow up here. But the longer I live here, the slower it seems to get-ERIC

Sling, NIG is being sarcastic...You know, like you Suthners being 15 and in 3rd grade.

PS- East Coast sucks, NIG.

[NealIsGod]

Sling, NIG is being sarcastic...You know, like you Suthners being 15 and in 3rd grade.

PS- East Coast sucks, NIG.

No I'm not. I don't mean slow mentally, I mean everyone moves a a slower pace.

East Coast rules. You know it.

[Angiekay]

Sling, NIG is being sarcastic...You know, like you Suthners being 15 and in 3rd grade.

PS- East Coast sucks, NIG.

No I'm not. I don't mean slow mentally, I mean everyone moves a a slower pace.

East Coast rules. You know it.

UGH...I spent a week in Boston once and it was enough to send me screaming back to the tepees and covered wagons. WAY to fast and rude out there. Plus, my accent didn't fit in, I didn't know where to pawk my cawr.

[NealIsGod]

UGH...I spent a week in Boston once and it was enough to send me screaming back to the tepees and covered wagons. WAY to fast and rude out there. Plus, my accent didn't fit in, I didn't know where to pawk my cawr. [/color][/size][/b]

If you can't stand the heat...