Finally - The Journey Lead Singer Issue Resolved
Posted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 12:32 pmOver the past several weeks, it's clear that there has been no true solution to Journey fans' trepidation about what may be around the corner for the band. Not since Perry split the band has there been so much division among fans - Strange alliances being made among forum members and fans, old alliances being broken and friendships damaged, perhaps beyond repair.
It is solely in the spirit of harmony and understanding that I have decided to submit a solution that all can be happy with. I have been noticeably absent over the past day or so, because I have been scouring small town stages and backwoods barrooms in search of an artist that could comfortably bring the fans together once again. Dare the band bring in a Steve Perry soundalike? And risk the ire of Perry fanatics and Augeri fanatics alike, being branded a karaoke cover band with no credibility? Dare the band forge a new direction, maybe tuning down a bit and allowing the rakish Jeff Scott Soto to take the reins? Or maybe a slender babe with a set of "pipes" that could put the band on the map again?
The answer, my friends, is none of the above. For I have discovered the perfect answer to Journey's lead singer dilema....
While trekking through the bayous of western New Jersey, I found a small indian casino at the end of a long gravel road. As I approached the casino, I couldn't help but notice the cars parked down the length of the road, and hear muffled cheers coming from the small ampitheatre on the grounds. The sign out front bore the name of an artist I had never heard before, but one that I would never again forget.
That artist is Fatty Jack...A strikingly heavy young man with a penchant for love songs and women's garter belts. As I watch Fatty Jack perform, I couldn't help but be captivated by his massive stage presence and charm. His voice, like sooty polluted gas, mesmerized the crowd, and he held the small but devoted crowd in the palm of his chubby hand.
As I scrambled to get my portable recording device out from under my shirt, I heard the house band start into a familiar song - And at that point, I knew that Journey fans' prayers had been answered. I am still awaiting to hear back from Fatty's management, but in the meantime, I can finally share with you the definitive bootleg that will put all of this discord to rest, and definitively label me as a certifiable jackass.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Fatty Jack.
FATTY JACK AND THE PARSIPANNY PLAYERS PRESENT OPEN ARMS
It is solely in the spirit of harmony and understanding that I have decided to submit a solution that all can be happy with. I have been noticeably absent over the past day or so, because I have been scouring small town stages and backwoods barrooms in search of an artist that could comfortably bring the fans together once again. Dare the band bring in a Steve Perry soundalike? And risk the ire of Perry fanatics and Augeri fanatics alike, being branded a karaoke cover band with no credibility? Dare the band forge a new direction, maybe tuning down a bit and allowing the rakish Jeff Scott Soto to take the reins? Or maybe a slender babe with a set of "pipes" that could put the band on the map again?
The answer, my friends, is none of the above. For I have discovered the perfect answer to Journey's lead singer dilema....
While trekking through the bayous of western New Jersey, I found a small indian casino at the end of a long gravel road. As I approached the casino, I couldn't help but notice the cars parked down the length of the road, and hear muffled cheers coming from the small ampitheatre on the grounds. The sign out front bore the name of an artist I had never heard before, but one that I would never again forget.
That artist is Fatty Jack...A strikingly heavy young man with a penchant for love songs and women's garter belts. As I watch Fatty Jack perform, I couldn't help but be captivated by his massive stage presence and charm. His voice, like sooty polluted gas, mesmerized the crowd, and he held the small but devoted crowd in the palm of his chubby hand.
As I scrambled to get my portable recording device out from under my shirt, I heard the house band start into a familiar song - And at that point, I knew that Journey fans' prayers had been answered. I am still awaiting to hear back from Fatty's management, but in the meantime, I can finally share with you the definitive bootleg that will put all of this discord to rest, and definitively label me as a certifiable jackass.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Fatty Jack.
FATTY JACK AND THE PARSIPANNY PLAYERS PRESENT OPEN ARMS
YYYOOOOOWWW!