Transcript from a recent cell phone conversation that the CIA intercepted:
Phone A: So how you doing?
Phone B: I've been better but feeling pretty good...
Phone A: That's good to hear. Just thought I'd call. I guess it's about time we talk.
Phone B: Yea, I agree. It's way overdue.
Phone A: Could you speak up alittle bit? I can barely hear you, man.
Phone B: Oh, yea, sorry. I guess I don't have to try and fool you. You know how it goes.
Phone A: You know it. Hell, its not like you're talking to that asshole Neal. You can be honest with me. So tell me, when
did you know you were having problems?
Phone B: Last summer. No matter what I did, it just got worse and worse.
Phone A: Yea, back in '86 I had the same problems. It sucks!
Phone B: At least the fans didn't turn on you. Your still a fucking God in thier eyes! Geez! Do you have any
idea how hard this has been for me?
Phone A: Hey, if that's flattery then thanks. But don't get upset with me. You knew what you were getting
into. I'm The Voice, for Christ's sake!
Phone B: You WERE The Voice! You blew out your pipes along time ago! Hip surgery, my ass!
Phone A: Woooooo, hold up there, Wannabe. I sure as shit had that surgery and you can look at the scars while
you're kissing my ass!
Phone B: Bullshit. Neal and Ross told me all about you. Now I can see why they walked away from your sorry ass.
Phone A: Ha! All those songs 'My Sorry Ass' wrote and recorded have made you pretty rich there, Milli Vanilli!
At least I never had to go to Tape!
Phone B: Yea??? Yea??? Is that what you think??? Well at least I ain't up close and personal with Jenny Craig!
At least I haven't been hiding for the past 9 years! I was out there, man, living the dream, making all them
ladies swoon...
Phone A: You call them ladies??? You can't imagine the ass I pulled in my day, Ashley!
Phone B: Aaahh, BLOW ME!!!
Phone A: WHY DON'T YOU 'WIGGLE' ON OVER HERE AND EAT SHIT!!!
Phone B: WHATEVER!!!
Phone A: Oooooh, don't yell too loud. Don't wanna hurt those precious pipes!!!
Phone B: I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS, OLD MAN!!! I GOT MOVES YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE!!!
Phone A: [silence]
Phone B: [silence}
Phone A: So... what you been up to?
Phone B: You know, same-old-same-old; working on scales, writing some new material...
Phone A: Ha! That's funny, me too!!! Say, you wanna get together, catch a ball-game? Maybe we can come up with
something together.
Phone B: Sounds good. I'll be in touch.
Phone A: Excellent! Talk to you soon...
Phone B: Alright. Later.
END OF TRANSMISSION