MR

Most remember from their school days of having to read a book and then
submit a book report on what they had read...
I wonder what kind of reception this report would have
received during your time in school

Students were assigned to read 2 books,
"Titanic (adapted from the movie)" &"My Life" by Bill Clinton.

One smart-ass student turned in the following book
report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!
His professor gave him an A+ for this report:

Titanic: $29.99
Clinton: $29.99

Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton: Over 3 hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton: Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton: Ditto for Bill.

Titanic: During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: Bill teaches Monica to... you figure it out.

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewellery.
Clinton: Monica's forced to return her gifts.

Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton: Clinton doesn't remember jack.

Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton: Monica goes down...'semen'... again, you figure it out.

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton: Bill goes home to Hillary... basically the same thing.

Carlitto,,,my last laugh for the night...

Ok, that is just sick. But I effen LOVE it!!!!

Very funny!!!

A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores.
"Not yet," said the little boy.

His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.
Well, he's a little perturbed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken.

He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow.
He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.
He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.
"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon?
Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks.

"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week.
I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either.
I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week you are not getting any milk ."

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen.
The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says ............

"Are you going to tell him, or should I?"

Very observent student,bet they got a A.

Carlitto and Lady Grinning Soul
Thanks muchly to you both!

lady grinning soul wrote:A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores.
"Not yet," said the little boy.

His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.
Well, he's a little perturbed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken.

He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow.
He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.
He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.
"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon?
Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks.

"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week.
I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either.
I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week you are not getting any milk ."

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen.
The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says ............

"Are you going to tell him, or should I?"

I don't get it...
Does this mean dad can't crap in the kitty-litter box anymore???
Soeone please clarify here

Carlitto H@kk wrote:

lady grinning soul wrote:A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores.
"Not yet," said the little boy.

His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.
Well, he's a little perturbed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken.

He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow.
He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.
He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.
"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon?
Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks.

"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week.
I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either.
I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week you are not getting any milk ."

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen.
The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says ............

"Are you going to tell him, or should I?"

I don't get it...
Does this mean dad can't crap in the kitty-litter box anymore???
Soeone please clarify here

Er... Pussy??

Bingo!