MR

Dear Abby,

I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs. Phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with "the girls" a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."

I always try to stay awake to look out for her coming home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. Around midnight, I decided to hide in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with "the girls". A car pulled up and she got out, buttoning her blouse and straightening herself up.

It was at that moment, crouching behind my clubs, that I noticed that the graphite shaft on my driver appeared to have a hairline crack right by the club head. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the pro shop where I bought it?

Signed,
Perplexed

Dear Abby:

I am a crack dealer in New Jersey who has recently been diagnosed as a
carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Philadelphia
and one of my sisters, who lives in Bensenville, is married to a
transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling
marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are
prostitutes in Jersey City.

I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence
in Attica for murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is
currently being held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of
sexual misconduct with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who
lives in the Bronx and is still a part time "working girl" in a brothel.

All things considered, my main problem is this. I love my fiance and
look forward to bringing her into the family and I certainly want to be
totally honest with her. Should I tell her that my distant cousin
voted for Bush?

Signed,
Worried About My Reputation

Speaking of crack...have you been smoking some, bro???

Liam wrote:Speaking of crack...have you been smoking some, bro???

Negative brother, but I think that guy in my av experimented with it a little.

Rick wrote:

Liam wrote:Speaking of crack...have you been smoking some, bro???

Negative brother, but I think that guy in my av experimented with it a little.

NAW...NOT PRYOR.

Liam wrote:

Rick wrote:

Liam wrote:Speaking of crack...have you been smoking some, bro???

Negative brother, but I think that guy in my av experimented with it a little.

NAW...NOT PRYOR.

Yeah, I think maybe once at a party or something.

Rick wrote:

Liam wrote:

Rick wrote:

Liam wrote:Speaking of crack...have you been smoking some, bro???

Negative brother, but I think that guy in my av experimented with it a little.

NAW...NOT PRYOR.

Yeah, I think maybe once at a party or something.

I'm BETTING it was an accident.

Liam wrote:

Rick wrote:

Liam wrote:

Rick wrote:

Liam wrote:Speaking of crack...have you been smoking some, bro???

Negative brother, but I think that guy in my av experimented with it a little.

NAW...NOT PRYOR.

Yeah, I think maybe once at a party or something.

I'm BETTING it was an accident.

Yeah, when it blew up in his face. lol

Rick wrote:

Liam wrote:

Rick wrote:

Liam wrote:

Rick wrote:

Liam wrote:Speaking of crack...have you been smoking some, bro???

Negative brother, but I think that guy in my av experimented with it a little.

NAW...NOT PRYOR.

Yeah, I think maybe once at a party or something.

I'm BETTING it was an accident.

Yeah, when it blew up in his face. lol

I'm betting it wasn't marijuana!

Well, at least we can be sure he did not inhale!!