OT: Damn Solicitors...

[T-Bone]

Last week I had some fucktard making his way up the street knocking on doors. He wasn't dressed like a witness or morman, so I figured he must be one of those magazine sales guys that I seem to get every year. So... I went back in the house and made these on the PC real quick and put them on the front and back door.






Well... I saw him come up the driveway and he looked right at it, and rung the bell anyway. I waited about 5 seconds and opened the door. He started babbling as soon as it was open and sure enough, he was selling subscriptions. I put on my best "suthern soundin" voice, and interrupted him.

Me: Boy.... Didj ya'll ever go ta school?

Him: Yes sir I did

Me: Well then... Did they ever teach ya'll that fancy readin 'n writin' stuff?

He went to babbling about the magazines and I interrupted again.

Me: Well... did they?

Him: Why do you ask me that?

I walked out the front door and stared at the No Solicitors!!! sign I made. I measured up the height of the sign and then compared it to him. and then asked.

Me: If ya did go to a school, and ya did learn the readin 'n writin stuff, then how on Gods green earth did you misunderstand that? (pointing at the sign)

(Gets good here)

Him: I'm not a solicitor sir, I'm selling magazine subscriptions to try and win a trip to Cancun...

I interrupt him again

Me: Do you even know wut the definition of solicitor is boy?

Him: Yes... It's someone who tries to sell you something.....

Me: Then I reckon you's one of them genuinely dumb people out there...

(Walks back in the house and slams the door)

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I must be a real dick

[NealIsGod]

Do you live in Cape Fear, T? What's up with the accent?

[T-Bone]

Used it for effect

[Just Mindy]

That is hysterical, love it!

[T-Bone]

I don't mind when the girlscouts come around selling cookies, but the bible thumpers and the rest tick me off

[Just Mindy]

I had bible thumpers come to my door yesterday. Wasn't sure at first who it was, so before I answered the door, I picked up the phone and put it by my ear. When I opened the door, sure enough, they were armed with bibles and ready to attack...but politely said they'd come back because I was busy on the phone.

[Carlitto H@kk]

Last week I had some fucktard making his way up the street knocking on doors.
He wasn't dressed like a witness or mormon

Being stuck here in Utah, i was just wondering...
How would you know what those Mormon Missionary folks dress like???

Those fuckers don't bother my house...
I swear they have lists and KNOW exactly which homes in every
neighborhood they will be welcomed

[Món]

:lol:

Witnesses and mormons use to knock on my door at 8:00 in the morning on sundays (I work at night on weekends).

I have a sign on the door that reads: "This is a catholic home, blah, blah..."

Still, the doorbell rings, I just open my window on the second floor (violently) and yell:

"FUCK OFF!"

It usually works.

[T-Bone]

Last week I had some fucktard making his way up the street knocking on doors.
He wasn't dressed like a witness or mormon

Being stuck here in Utah, i was just wondering...
How would you know what those Mormon Missionary folks dress like???

Those fuckers don't bother my house...
I swear they have lists and KNOW exactly which homes in every
neighborhood they will be welcomed

Every mormon that's ever stopped here has had a white button down shirt and black tie on. The witnessess dress the same, but usually have various colored ties and usually jackets on over them

[*Laura]

Me: Do you even know wut the definition of solicitor is boy?

Him: Yes... It's someone who tries to sell you something.....

Me: Then I reckon you's one of them genuinely dumb people out there...

(Walks back in the house and slams the door)

(Btw,nice accent,even in writing,LOL)

[conversationpc]

Come on, people. I don't like being bothered by people at my door any more than anyone else but at least treat the people with respect unless you happen to have a no trespassing sign on your property or, like the pic earlier in the thread, a "no soliciting" sign on the door. I've never had a problem with these people. If they keep talking after I say I'm not interested, I just say "Thanks" and close the door.

[T-Bone]

Come on, people. I don't like being bothered by people at my door any more than anyone else but at least treat the people with respect unless you happen to have a no trespassing sign on your property or, like the pic earlier in the thread, a "no soliciting" sign on the door. I've never had a problem with these people. If they keep talking after I say I'm not interested, I just say "Thanks" and close the door.

Tried to be nice for years, but they keep on trying all the time and it gets old after a while.

[conversationpc]

Come on, people. I don't like being bothered by people at my door any more than anyone else but at least treat the people with respect unless you happen to have a no trespassing sign on your property or, like the pic earlier in the thread, a "no soliciting" sign on the door. I've never had a problem with these people. If they keep talking after I say I'm not interested, I just say "Thanks" and close the door.

Tried to be nice for years, but they keep on trying all the time and it gets old after a while.

I've been a Christian for going on 18 years now and I've never seen the advantages of door-to-door evangelism. All it does is get on people's nerves, so I can sympathize with you on that.

[nikki]

It is irritating. There is a point when you want to start cracking skulls when the same ones come to your home time and again even after you've clearly pointed out your disinterest in whatever it is they are preaching/selling. If the bible-thumpers aren't beating down your door, telemarketers are pestering you on the phone. We've put our names on that "Do Not Call" list....what a joke that was. Having an unlisted number makes no difference. Once a telemarketer called my house at 5:30 on the morning!! If that poor bastard wasn't awake before he called my house, he was after that call. They're always calling at dinnertime too because they know we're all at home trying to eat in peace. Like nails on a blackboard these people are!

[conversationpc]

It is irritating. There is a point when you want to start cracking skulls when the same ones come to your home time and again even after you've clearly pointed out your disinterest in whatever it is they are preaching/selling. If the bible-thumpers aren't beating down your door, telemarketers are pestering you on the phone. We've put our names on that "Do Not Call" list....what a joke that was. Having an unlisted number makes no difference. Once a telemarketer called my house at 5:30 on the morning!! If that poor bastard wasn't awake before he called my house, he was after that call. They're always calling at dinnertime too because they know we're all at home trying to eat in peace. Like nails on a blackboard these people are!

We are on Indiana's no-call list, which is far better than the federal one. We rarely get any telemarketing calls. Regardless, since we have caller ID, if we don't know the number of the person calling or it says "Unavailable", we don't answer.

[SteveForever]

I had bible thumpers come to my door yesterday. Wasn't sure at first who it was, so before I answered the door, I picked up the phone and put it by my ear. When I opened the door, sure enough, they were armed with bibles and ready to attack...but politely said they'd come back because I was busy on the phone.

They'll be baaaaaacccckkkk, they haven't given up on me even after I've ignored them, brought my huge dog to the door, told them politely I was already attending a church I love (the truth) and to please not come back=they will not stop.
bummer T-bone since you have a baby that needs to sleep...maybe put a sign on the door that says..."sleeping baby please do not disturb!"

[Ms_M]

I have a friend who likes to respond to the question "Have you found Jesus?" by saying "I didn't know he was lost!" OMG. If the "Baby Sleeping" sign doesn't work, a good chewing out is in order. As for phone solicitations - all I can say about that is - God bless Caller ID.

[Rhiannon]

Used it for effect

Now, now, I hope you aren't implying that those individuals with a southern accent... well, are all idiots with poor grammar. Such as what you used in your transcript.

PS, that's fucking hilarious what you did, either way.

[Rick]

Used it for effect

Now, now, I hope you aren't implying that those individuals with a southern accent... well, are all idiots with poor grammar. Such as what you used in your transcript.

PS, that's fucking hilarious what you did, either way.

Doesn't matter, I'm from Oklahoma, there's definitely a stigma there, and I'm smarter than anyone here.

[Rhiannon]

Used it for effect

Now, now, I hope you aren't implying that those individuals with a southern accent... well, are all idiots with poor grammar. Such as what you used in your transcript.

PS, that's fucking hilarious what you did, either way.

Doesn't matter, I'm from Oklahoma, there's definitely a stigma there, and I'm smarter than anyone here.

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people in my general vicinity that are dumb as homemade sin. But, in pop culture, seems everytime someone wants to convey naivety they throw a little southern drawl in there.

Let's just blame corporate america and be done with it.

[Rick]

Used it for effect

Now, now, I hope you aren't implying that those individuals with a southern accent... well, are all idiots with poor grammar. Such as what you used in your transcript.

PS, that's fucking hilarious what you did, either way.

Doesn't matter, I'm from Oklahoma, there's definitely a stigma there, and I'm smarter than anyone here.

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people in my general vicinity that are dumb as homemade sin. But, in pop culture, seems everytime someone wants to convey naivety they throw a little southern drawl in there.

Let's just blame corporate america and be done with it.

I agree, but if you've ever listened to a bunch of Okies talking, you'd think they were dumb, dumber and dumberer. They're probably not stupid, but to listen to them, you would think they were trying to sound stupid. That's not all of them, but enough to get that stigma workin'. It exists here in Texas too, but not as much. I still love Oklahoma, and will retire there someday.

[Rhiannon]

I agree, but if you've ever listened to a bunch of Okies talking, you'd think they were dumb, dumber and dumberer. They're probably not stupid, but to listen to them, you would think they were trying to sound stupid. That's not all of them, but enough to get that stigma workin'. It exists here in Texas too, but not as much. I still love Oklahoma, and will retire there someday.

True, true... and especially if you aren't used to it. I didn't necessarily mean unintelligent, more so unassuming. But then again, that's part of the southern charm, accomodating, obliging, laid-back. I love my accent. It gets alot of attention when I'm out of the area. And mine isn't really all that thick. Just enough to be cute.

[FormerJrnyFan]

If someone comes to my door that I don't recognize, I just ignore the knock/doorbell ring, even if they can see me right through the window.

They get the hint!

[Ms_M]

If someone comes to my door that I don't recognize, I just ignore the knock/doorbell ring, even if they can see me right through the window.

They get the hint!

Very effective. My ex used to put our 2 dogs (RIP) in the yard and the solicitors, witnesses, whoever would cross to the other side of our street to avoid our house. LOL!

[Rick]

True, true... and especially if you aren't used to it. I didn't necessarily mean unintelligent, more so unassuming. But then again, that's part of the southern charm, accommodating, obliging, laid-back. I love my accent. It gets alot of attention when I'm out of the area. And mine isn't really all that thick. Just enough to be cute.

Where are you from?

[treetopovskaya]

If someone comes to my door that I don't recognize, I just ignore the knock/doorbell ring, even if they can see me right through the window.

They get the hint!

hehehee.

i usually don't answer the door unless i'm expecting someone.... especially when i'm home alone. i don't even answer the home phone... if ya wanna talk to me call my cel. }:C))

[Rhiannon]

True, true... and especially if you aren't used to it. I didn't necessarily mean unintelligent, more so unassuming. But then again, that's part of the southern charm, accommodating, obliging, laid-back. I love my accent. It gets alot of attention when I'm out of the area. And mine isn't really all that thick. Just enough to be cute.

Where are you from?

North Carolina originally, grew up in TN, SC, VA, and NC.

[JrnyScarab]

Those Watchtower magazines the Witnesses hand out come in handy as kindling while camping!

[FormerJrnyFan]

Those Watchtower magazines the Witnesses hand out come in handy as kindling while camping!

I'm no camper............ but still

[JrnyScarab]

If someone comes to my door that I don't recognize, I just ignore the knock/doorbell ring, even if they can see me right through the window.

They get the hint!

When I was real young, like 5 or 6, we used to have the Fuller Brush guy come around (I know, I'm showing my age!) and knock on our door. My mom used to see him coming down the street and she would tell my sister and I to lay on the bed and pretend you are sleeping. He would ring the bell and finally give up. We would get up and laugh our asses off watching him walk down the street!