OT: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road...The Answer Is...

[Enigma869]

Why did the chicken cross the road?





DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just dri v e across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER- CNN:We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see is in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when th e price dropp ed to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

.JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white-washe s with seemingly harmless phrases like ''the other side". That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

.JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.


ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% . reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.


John from Boston

[Voyager]

Very funny, but I have one correction:

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. Just drop a MOAB on that mother fucker and put it out of its misery.

...and one addition:

NEAL SCHON: I'm not sure why the chicken crossed the road, but if you lose him for some reason, I can find one that sounds just like him for you on YouTube.

[bluejeangirl76]

NEAL SCHON: Can the chicken sing? Bring his ass back over here... we have an opening.


(edited: fuck. didn't see that voyager beat me to it. DAMN IT! )

[Voyager]

NEAL SCHON: Can the chicken sing? Bring his ass back over here... we have an opening.


(edited: fuck. didn't see that voyager beat me to it. DAMN IT! )

I've been practicing:

[4ever4Steve]

....crossed the road because he sensed that Col. Sanders was following him with a hatchet.
Cleaver chicken! Umm..., I meant CLEVER chicken!!

Anne

[The Sushi Hunter]

Very funny, but I have one correction:

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. Just drop a MOAB on that mother fucker and put it out of its misery.

...and one addition:

NEAL SCHON: I'm not sure why the chicken crossed the road, but if you lose him for some reason, I can find one that sounds just like him for you on YouTube.

\

MOAB - Mother Of All Bombs or a FA -Fuel Air bomb. They are also referred to as Commando Vaults sometimes.

And for the chicken crossing the road. I'm not sure.......to purchase the upcoming new Journey CD release?

[squirt1]

This is one of the funniest topics EVER ! Was it a Saturday? Maybe he was picking up his chick.

[Rockindeano]

And for the chicken crossing the road. I'm not sure.......to purchase the upcoming new Journey CD release?

Probably not.

You heard Shirley. "They have a ways to go yet, but my part is nearly done." Huh? Dude, a long ways to go?

Fuck them. Give me BA's new one instead. He tells us the truth, Journey lies to our faces.

[bluejeangirl76]

JOHN FRIGA: Can he cluck "Faithfully"? Bring him back over, I'll record it and call the CD "Barnyard Animals Tribute to the BEST song ever written"... but I need more animals... Neal, what're your exes up to?

[7 Wishes]

John, are those your creations? Because if so, you need to be a comedy writer. Absolutely hilarious.

[ohsherrie]

John, are those your creations? Because if so, you need to be a comedy writer. Absolutely hilarious.

Ditto.

[conversationpc]

John, are those your creations? Because if so, you need to be a comedy writer. Absolutely hilarious.

Ditto.

He didn't write them. There are several web sites with those jokes. They are funny, however.

[Enigma869]

John, are those your creations? Because if so, you need to be a comedy writer. Absolutely hilarious.

I've been accused of having a great comic mind, but not that great I can't take the credit for those great lines, as they were sent to me by a close friend of mine. Glad everyone else found the humor in them, that I did!


John from Boston

[Perrydise]

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens???

Beacuse all they kept saying was Bach Bach Bach

Now that is s joke you can tell children or those that you know that get all bent out of shape over a sexually toned joke.