Melodicrock Political Super Bowl
Posted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 9:12 amThis game has been an explosive contest as we head into the 4th quarter tied at 24-24.
With 5 minutes left, the Grand Old Party Neocons have the ball but it's 4th down and they are going to kick it away. Red Wing Fan is doing the punting today and frankly, he has been complete shit. His average is 18.7 which if you remove the decimal point, that is how many House seats his party will have come next January. He gets into it, driving Blue Jean Girl back to her 10, and she takes the ball up the LEFT sideline for 23 yds where Scarygirl unleashes a wicked evil clothesline on her and drops her like a bad smear political commercial. Scary stands up and kicks BJG in the dome for good measure.
The Crats walk up to the line of scrimmage and Deano will take the snap. He rolls right, yes I said right, and fires a fastball through Lie Finder's outstretched sticks and the ball finds Oh Sherrie with a large state caucus like reception. Sherrie is pissed and is having none of conversationpc's attempted tackle, and just as OS is going down, out of nowhere come 7 Wishes with a giant crackback block that would would make Fred Thompson proud. OS finally expires and is down in the RED zone.
The Crats are inside the 20 and head coach Bill Clinton is nowhere to be seen. Wait a minute, here he comes from behind the bleachers, adjusting his belt! The Crats fans are giving Slick Willy a standing Ovation, while Dr James Dobson is pleading with the Lord to have BC stoned by beer bottles. Meanwhile, John McCain is trying read the playbook but is having a hard time. He doesn't understand numbers all that well. There seems to be a skirmish to our right. Sean Hannity and Keith Olberman are throwing down and here comes Bill-O to join in! If this were the NHL, Bill-o would be ejected for "third man in." However, Keith is handling his own nicely. Chris Matthews can be heard all the way up here screaming loudly! Bill-O starts yelling wildly about someone doing a spin zone dance, and he is not happy. Meanwhile on the field, Deano knows his team is the favourite but needs to score to put the clamp down on the Cons. He looks out out at the defense and sees a pissed off Lie Finder and an equally perturbed Wally Hatchet. He calls out the play, "1600, 1600, Pennsylvania Ave, hut hut" and he pitches it back to Cat eyes, and an enraged Barb comes flying to the ball, and Cat pitches it back to Deano, who has a wide open 7 Wishes completely decked out in tribal makeup and feathers. Touchdown Crats and The Cons are not at all pleased. Up in the Press Box, a rather stout Rush Limbaugh is calling for the head of Con QB G.I. Jim. There seems to be complete disarray amongst the Cons. Newly acquired kicker Andrew McNeice will come on and he boots through the extra point and we have a 7 point Crat's lead. We'll be right back, after these commercial messages....
"I don't know much about the economy, but I do know I have the experience to lead this great country into battle against Iraq. I have a plan where we can achieve our goal of getting that oil before it goes bad."
"I'm John McCain and I approved this message"
31-24, the Crat's lead it and Mcneice will kick it off to the Cons. Back to receive is Skylorde. He hasn't much action since melting down with his old board. The final conclusion was that a bunch of Loons overran it and some wack jobs continued rampaging it until it became useless. The Aussies gets his foot into it and sends a high end over end kick back to the Cons endzone...Skylorde fields it and starts up the right sideline where he is met by a staunch group of Crat's but somehow someway laterals it to Rip Rokken who is wearing a Dokken jersey. Rokken scurries back and left and sees daylight until a roid enraged Oh Sherrie delivers the goods and Rip is down. Oh my fucking God, Rip's left leg is snapped in half! Rudolph Guilini is going ape shit. He is claiming that another 9/11 caused this injury and he is best to fight it out with the terrorists! Meanwhile, back in sane land, Rip is agony. "How the fuck are we gonna fix this!" Rokken can be heard screaming. RWF casually walks up and says, "Let's take em to the hospital." Rip yells back, "I don't have any fucking health insurance. Uh oh! Now what. St John appears out of nowhere, and immediately starts to berate Rokken for not having adequate health coverage, calling him incapable and irresponsible. This is getting ugly. Hillary Clinton climbs down from the stands and says to Rokken, "Rip, go get fixed up, I will take care of this for ya!" Rip is smiling, because he knows he is about to get some Vicodin and Morphine, lucky bastard.
The Cons have the ball on the 50 yd line but time is against them now. Only 1:34 remain and GI Jim is under center. He drops back, and is immediately engulfed by recently picked up free agent Strangegrey. SG does a rainbow dance after the sack, out of respect for the American Indian. SG has found new compassion within the Democratic Party, and it is paying off. Meanwhile St John is going beserk. He wants a piece of someone, maybe it's SG for gloating or Deano for giving the bird to St Juan.
The clock is down to 45 seconds and Rip Rokken has left the Stadium. The many Dokken posters are now being littered onto the playing surface. Arkansas is livid because he wants in to replace Rokken, but Con Head Coach St John wants Scarygrl at halfback. Now SG has been a ferocious competitor today and she looks pissed. Screaming down the Crats defense for having children when they aren't rich. She is flat out pissed. GI Jim drops back and floats a screen pass to Scary who has room to run. Here comes Karl Rove out of nowhere and he collides with Scary, knocking her down at the Crat 1 with 3 seconds left, and the Cons down by 7. When asked, Rove said, I thought that was Ms Plame. Oops. The game has come down to one play. In the Con huddle, Barb, Scary, GI, Lie Finder, Arkansas, and Wally Hatchet deliberate. Meanwhile on the Crat D line, OS, BJG, 7 Wishes, still in HeadGear Dance outfit, and Deano stand ready.
So we have one play remaining.
What's gonna happen?
With 5 minutes left, the Grand Old Party Neocons have the ball but it's 4th down and they are going to kick it away. Red Wing Fan is doing the punting today and frankly, he has been complete shit. His average is 18.7 which if you remove the decimal point, that is how many House seats his party will have come next January. He gets into it, driving Blue Jean Girl back to her 10, and she takes the ball up the LEFT sideline for 23 yds where Scarygirl unleashes a wicked evil clothesline on her and drops her like a bad smear political commercial. Scary stands up and kicks BJG in the dome for good measure.
The Crats walk up to the line of scrimmage and Deano will take the snap. He rolls right, yes I said right, and fires a fastball through Lie Finder's outstretched sticks and the ball finds Oh Sherrie with a large state caucus like reception. Sherrie is pissed and is having none of conversationpc's attempted tackle, and just as OS is going down, out of nowhere come 7 Wishes with a giant crackback block that would would make Fred Thompson proud. OS finally expires and is down in the RED zone.
The Crats are inside the 20 and head coach Bill Clinton is nowhere to be seen. Wait a minute, here he comes from behind the bleachers, adjusting his belt! The Crats fans are giving Slick Willy a standing Ovation, while Dr James Dobson is pleading with the Lord to have BC stoned by beer bottles. Meanwhile, John McCain is trying read the playbook but is having a hard time. He doesn't understand numbers all that well. There seems to be a skirmish to our right. Sean Hannity and Keith Olberman are throwing down and here comes Bill-O to join in! If this were the NHL, Bill-o would be ejected for "third man in." However, Keith is handling his own nicely. Chris Matthews can be heard all the way up here screaming loudly! Bill-O starts yelling wildly about someone doing a spin zone dance, and he is not happy. Meanwhile on the field, Deano knows his team is the favourite but needs to score to put the clamp down on the Cons. He looks out out at the defense and sees a pissed off Lie Finder and an equally perturbed Wally Hatchet. He calls out the play, "1600, 1600, Pennsylvania Ave, hut hut" and he pitches it back to Cat eyes, and an enraged Barb comes flying to the ball, and Cat pitches it back to Deano, who has a wide open 7 Wishes completely decked out in tribal makeup and feathers. Touchdown Crats and The Cons are not at all pleased. Up in the Press Box, a rather stout Rush Limbaugh is calling for the head of Con QB G.I. Jim. There seems to be complete disarray amongst the Cons. Newly acquired kicker Andrew McNeice will come on and he boots through the extra point and we have a 7 point Crat's lead. We'll be right back, after these commercial messages....
"I don't know much about the economy, but I do know I have the experience to lead this great country into battle against Iraq. I have a plan where we can achieve our goal of getting that oil before it goes bad."
"I'm John McCain and I approved this message"
31-24, the Crat's lead it and Mcneice will kick it off to the Cons. Back to receive is Skylorde. He hasn't much action since melting down with his old board. The final conclusion was that a bunch of Loons overran it and some wack jobs continued rampaging it until it became useless. The Aussies gets his foot into it and sends a high end over end kick back to the Cons endzone...Skylorde fields it and starts up the right sideline where he is met by a staunch group of Crat's but somehow someway laterals it to Rip Rokken who is wearing a Dokken jersey. Rokken scurries back and left and sees daylight until a roid enraged Oh Sherrie delivers the goods and Rip is down. Oh my fucking God, Rip's left leg is snapped in half! Rudolph Guilini is going ape shit. He is claiming that another 9/11 caused this injury and he is best to fight it out with the terrorists! Meanwhile, back in sane land, Rip is agony. "How the fuck are we gonna fix this!" Rokken can be heard screaming. RWF casually walks up and says, "Let's take em to the hospital." Rip yells back, "I don't have any fucking health insurance. Uh oh! Now what. St John appears out of nowhere, and immediately starts to berate Rokken for not having adequate health coverage, calling him incapable and irresponsible. This is getting ugly. Hillary Clinton climbs down from the stands and says to Rokken, "Rip, go get fixed up, I will take care of this for ya!" Rip is smiling, because he knows he is about to get some Vicodin and Morphine, lucky bastard.
The Cons have the ball on the 50 yd line but time is against them now. Only 1:34 remain and GI Jim is under center. He drops back, and is immediately engulfed by recently picked up free agent Strangegrey. SG does a rainbow dance after the sack, out of respect for the American Indian. SG has found new compassion within the Democratic Party, and it is paying off. Meanwhile St John is going beserk. He wants a piece of someone, maybe it's SG for gloating or Deano for giving the bird to St Juan.
The clock is down to 45 seconds and Rip Rokken has left the Stadium. The many Dokken posters are now being littered onto the playing surface. Arkansas is livid because he wants in to replace Rokken, but Con Head Coach St John wants Scarygrl at halfback. Now SG has been a ferocious competitor today and she looks pissed. Screaming down the Crats defense for having children when they aren't rich. She is flat out pissed. GI Jim drops back and floats a screen pass to Scary who has room to run. Here comes Karl Rove out of nowhere and he collides with Scary, knocking her down at the Crat 1 with 3 seconds left, and the Cons down by 7. When asked, Rove said, I thought that was Ms Plame. Oops. The game has come down to one play. In the Con huddle, Barb, Scary, GI, Lie Finder, Arkansas, and Wally Hatchet deliberate. Meanwhile on the Crat D line, OS, BJG, 7 Wishes, still in HeadGear Dance outfit, and Deano stand ready.
So we have one play remaining.
What's gonna happen?
!
Classic!!! 
). 
