OT: Happy Endings

by **T-Bone** » Wed Feb 13, 2008 8:43 pm

She spent the first day sadly packing her belongings into boxes,
crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her
things.

On the third day, she sat down on the floor in the dining room
by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted
on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and
deposited a few half-eaten shrimp and caviar, into the hollow of
the curtain rods.

She replaced the end caps on the curtain rods, cleaned up the
kitchen, and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss
for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything, cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out.

Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam
cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.

Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canister,
during which they had to move out for a few days,
and they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked.

People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work
in the house.

The maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided
to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half,
they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out, and eventually, even the local Realtors refused
to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank
to purchase a new place.

The e x-wife called the man, and asked how things were going.

He told her they were selling the house but did not tell the
real reasons.

She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home
terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement
in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea about the smell, he agreed on a
price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth,
but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed, and within the hour his lawyers delivered the
paperwork for her to sign.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they
watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new
home,

including the curtain rods.

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?