MR

I've discovered why Steve has been absent from the music scene for so many years now... He's been working on becoming a bad-ass! The new Steve Perry kicks-ass first, then asks questions later! Check out how bad Steve is now...

01 Steve's Perry's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

02 Steve counted to infinity - twice.

03 Steve does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Steve Perry goes killing.

04 If you can see Steve Perry, he can see you. If you can't see Steve, you may be only seconds away from death.

05 Steve Perry sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Steve roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

06 When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Steve Perry.

07 Steve Perry built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Steve met all three bullets with his cheeks, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

08 Steve Perry has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

09 They once made a Steve Perry toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.

10 A blind man once stepped on Steve Perry's shoe. Steve replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Steve Perry Bitch!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Steve Perry.

11. When Steve Perry punches a dog, it intsantly becomes a cat that's immune to his punches!

Need I say more?

........

Is he related to Chuck Norris?

Gunbot wrote:Is he related to Chuck Norris?

I think they're long-lost twins!

G.I.Jim wrote:02 Steve counted to infinity - twice.

Now THAT is badass.

G.I.Jim wrote:

Gunbot wrote:Is he related to Chuck Norris?

I think they're long-lost twins!

But....can Steve Perry kick his own ass?

Michigan Girl wrote:

G.I.Jim wrote:

Gunbot wrote:Is he related to Chuck Norris?

I think they're long-lost twins!

But....can Steve Perry kick his own ass?

No, I think that's just a drunk G.I.Jim thing!

The Roman Empire fell because they saw into the future that one day a man known as "Steve Perry" would be born.

Freddy and Jason disappointed millions of fans when their fight ended up in a tie. Little do these fans know, the winner was supposed to face Steve Perry.

That waste of space "purrkat" or whatever the fuck her name was, seems to be absent from this thread. Did Drew or T-Bone issue some walking papers??? Did we find out the secret identity of her and her ugly cat?


John from Boston

Steve Perry doesn't have a refresh button on his web browser. All events take place in real time.

Gunbot wrote:Is he related to Chuck Norris?

...and Jack Bauer.


later~

Oh good gawd!

I think i saw this same list but with Tebow.....

ScarabGator wrote:I think i saw this same list but with Tebow.....

Dick Cheney asked Steve Perry if he wanted to go hunting, Steve Perry said, " start running Dick".

epresley wrote:Steve Perry doesn't have a refresh button on his web browser. All events take place in real time.

He doesn't need a refresh button. The universe just KNOWS what information he needs and feeds it into his head on an up to the millisecond basis.

Does Perry hang out with this guy?

bluejeangirl76 wrote:

epresley wrote:Steve Perry doesn't have a refresh button on his web browser. All events take place in real time.

He doesn't need a refresh button. The universe just KNOWS what information he needs and feeds it into his head on an up to the millisecond basis.

If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Steve fuckin' Perry!

G.I.Jim wrote:

bluejeangirl76 wrote:

epresley wrote:Steve Perry doesn't have a refresh button on his web browser. All events take place in real time.

He doesn't need a refresh button. The universe just KNOWS what information he needs and feeds it into his head on an up to the millisecond basis.

If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Steve fuckin' Perry!

How many times I gotta say it? His name is Steve Motherfuckin' Perry. Complete with italics and apostrophe. You need the full monty to convey the total awesomeness.

If you don't believe me... visit his house. His towels say that ^

bluejeangirl76 wrote:

G.I.Jim wrote:

bluejeangirl76 wrote:

epresley wrote:Steve Perry doesn't have a refresh button on his web browser. All events take place in real time.

He doesn't need a refresh button. The universe just KNOWS what information he needs and feeds it into his head on an up to the millisecond basis.

If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Steve fuckin' Perry!

How many times I gotta say it? His name is Steve Motherfuckin' Perry. Complete with italics and apostrophe. You need the full monty to convey the total awesomeness.

If you don't believe me... visit his house. His towels say that ^

BJG, can you use those towels or does the lettering run if they get wet?

Gunbot wrote:

bluejeangirl76 wrote:

G.I.Jim wrote:If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Steve fuckin' Perry!

How many times I gotta say it? His name is Steve Motherfuckin' Perry. Complete with italics and apostrophe. You need the full monty to convey the total awesomeness.

If you don't believe me... visit his house. His towels say that ^

BJG, can you use those towels or does the lettering run if they get wet?

Of course not, are you nuts? Only embroidered monograms for SMFP.

bluejeangirl76 wrote:

Gunbot wrote:

bluejeangirl76 wrote:

G.I.Jim wrote:If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Steve fuckin' Perry!

How many times I gotta say it? His name is Steve Motherfuckin' Perry. Complete with italics and apostrophe. You need the full monty to convey the total awesomeness.

If you don't believe me... visit his house. His towels say that ^

BJG, can you use those towels or does the lettering run if they get wet?

Of course not, are you nuts? Only embroidered monograms for SMFP.

Thanks, I figured if anyone knew, it would be you!

Gunbot wrote:

bluejeangirl76 wrote:

Gunbot wrote:

bluejeangirl76 wrote:

G.I.Jim wrote:If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Steve fuckin' Perry!

How many times I gotta say it? His name is Steve Motherfuckin' Perry. Complete with italics and apostrophe. You need the full monty to convey the total awesomeness.

If you don't believe me... visit his house. His towels say that ^

BJG, can you use those towels or does the lettering run if they get wet?

Of course not, are you nuts? Only embroidered monograms for SMFP.

Thanks, I figured if anyone knew, it would be you!

Steve Perry doesn't need a towel...he looks at the water and it evaporates!

G.I.Jim wrote:

Gunbot wrote:

bluejeangirl76 wrote:

Gunbot wrote:

bluejeangirl76 wrote:

G.I.Jim wrote:If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Steve fuckin' Perry!

How many times I gotta say it? His name is Steve Motherfuckin' Perry. Complete with italics and apostrophe. You need the full monty to convey the total awesomeness.

If you don't believe me... visit his house. His towels say that ^

BJG, can you use those towels or does the lettering run if they get wet?

Of course not, are you nuts? Only embroidered monograms for SMFP.

Thanks, I figured if anyone knew, it would be you!

Steve Perry doesn't need a towel...he looks at the water and it evaporates!

Wouldn't that cause dry humping? No wonder he stays away from women.

G.I.Jim wrote:Steve Perry doesn't need a towel...he looks at the water and it evaporates!

By which logic he also does not need soap, dishwasher tablets, laundry detergent or toilet paper. The dirt FEARS him and leaves of its own accord.

He also doesn't need a rake. The leaves know better than to land on his lawn.

bluejeangirl76 wrote:

G.I.Jim wrote:Steve Perry doesn't need a towel...he looks at the water and it evaporates!

By which logic he also does not need soap, dishwasher tablets, laundry detergent or toilet paper. The dirt FEARS him and leaves of its own accord.

He also doesn't need a rake. The leaves know better than to land on his lawn.

Wish our neighbor's leaves knew better too...........grrrrrr!

Deb wrote:

bluejeangirl76 wrote:

G.I.Jim wrote:Steve Perry doesn't need a towel...he looks at the water and it evaporates!

By which logic he also does not need soap, dishwasher tablets, laundry detergent or toilet paper. The dirt FEARS him and leaves of its own accord.

He also doesn't need a rake. The leaves know better than to land on his lawn.

Wish our neighbor's leaves knew better too...........grrrrrr!

You want me to go kick some ass for ya Deb? Just let me know!

G.I.Jim wrote:

Deb wrote:

bluejeangirl76 wrote:

G.I.Jim wrote:Steve Perry doesn't need a towel...he looks at the water and it evaporates!

By which logic he also does not need soap, dishwasher tablets, laundry detergent or toilet paper. The dirt FEARS him and leaves of its own accord.

He also doesn't need a rake. The leaves know better than to land on his lawn.

Wish our neighbor's leaves knew better too...........grrrrrr!

You want me to go kick some ass for ya Deb? Just let me know!

LOL, ya and bring a rake.

Deb wrote:

G.I.Jim wrote:

Deb wrote:

bluejeangirl76 wrote:

G.I.Jim wrote:Steve Perry doesn't need a towel...he looks at the water and it evaporates!

By which logic he also does not need soap, dishwasher tablets, laundry detergent or toilet paper. The dirt FEARS him and leaves of its own accord.

He also doesn't need a rake. The leaves know better than to land on his lawn.

Wish our neighbor's leaves knew better too...........grrrrrr!

You want me to go kick some ass for ya Deb? Just let me know!

LOL, ya and bring a rake.

lol.....

JIMBO...LMAO!!!