MR

I'm bored so I'm gonna tell a story because this one made me go .

This is a true story. A guy that I knew told this to me... he was at work one day and went to use the mens' room. When he walked in, he saw a guy standing at the urinal and quite vigorously going to town on himself.

Now, if ya HAVE to do that at work, and can't wait until home, WHY would you do it out in the open like that where anyone can walk in on you? Because the guy who saw this laughed his ass off and went and told everyone in his department about it.

I'm sure most people walking in on that would - I would. but next thing you know you have the repuation of the Work Whacker... hell... maybe some of you are Work Whackers?

Tell stories... discuss... (entertain me).

bluejeangirl76 wrote:Tell stories... discuss... (entertain me).

Once I went into our office bathroom and two of my fellow office workers (both female) were going down on each other. I stood and watched for a moment and they asked me to join. I had to tell them that I was happily married and slowly went back to my office cubicle with a hardon.

I just made that up, but it sounded hot and you asked for an entertaining story.

Christ! At the urinal?

Tell me, what friggin sick fuck would sprout wood at the smell of urine, urinal pucks and the sight loogies hocked into the urinal?

strangegrey wrote:Christ! At the urinal?

Tell me, what friggin sick fuck would sprout wood at the smell of urine, urinal pucks and the sight loogies hocked into the urinal?

Is this a rhetorical question, cause I was about to say Tito.....

bluejeangirl76 wrote:I'm bored so I'm gonna tell a story because this one made me go .

This is a true story. A guy that I knew told this to me... he was at work one day and went to use the mens' room. When he walked in, he saw a guy standing at the urinal and quite vigorously going to town on himself.

Now, if ya HAVE to do that at work, and can't wait until home, WHY would you do it out in the open like that where anyone can walk in on you? Because the guy who saw this laughed his ass off and went and told everyone in his department about it.

I'm sure most people walking in on that would - I would. but next thing you know you have the repuation of the Work Whacker... hell... maybe some of you are Work Whackers?

Tell stories... discuss... (entertain me).

Okay, I haven't seen that- BUT

WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH GUYS THAT HUM WHILE THEY DO THEIR BUSINESS IN THERE???
Great acoustics, but geez... come on...


The other one is the "grunt.... breath. grunt.... breath"- Dang, if it's that difficult, time for some Exlax there bro.


Oh, finally!!! Who's the wanker that uses the urinal and whizzes all over the floor??? JERK!

Voyager wrote:

bluejeangirl76 wrote:Tell stories... discuss... (entertain me).

Once I went into our office bathroom and two of my fellow office workers (both female) were going down on each other. I stood and watched for a moment and they asked me to join. I had to tell them that I was happily married and slowly went back to my office cubicle with a hardon.

I just made that up, but it sounded hot and you asked for an entertaining story.

"Dear Penthouse Forum...."

A guy at work had let the tail stairs down on a 727 (that's how long ago this was, we haven't had those in nearly 10 years) and was looking through the rear door window, watching the flight attendants do their post flight routine, and was caught pounding his pudd. I know the guy that caught him, and he said it was dark and couldn't exactly see what was going on until he said something and the guy, completely startled, stumbled and fell down the steps, pecker in hand.

He was fired.

Rick wrote:...the guy, completely startled, stumbled and fell down the steps, pecker in hand...

I hate it whan that happens!

Never saw anyone slapping their salami in public, but I have walked into folks banging in a meatlocker before.

In the US Navy I went to book camp in Orlando, where the girls also attended bootcamp. Of course boys n girls were separated, not allowed to speak, and anyway I recken they put salt peter (potassium nitrate prevents hard on) in the scrambled eggs. However, that wears off after seven week, which is about the time you are given a "week off" boot camp to work around the base. During that week girls and boys get to work together.

Well, I was assigned to the galley (cafeteria) and one day the first class in charge of one of the back kitchen says, Recuit , can hit the meatlocker and fetch me one of them big sides of beef. So I go back there and what do I see, two couples going at it right on the frozen blocks of meat.

I coundn't eat from that day forward and frigging fasted between week 8-10 of bootcamp.

Gin and Tonic Sky wrote:Never saw anyone slapping their salami in public, but I have walked into folks banging in a meatlocker before.

Opposite here. I've never seen and couples banging in public, but THRICE I've had the misfortune of catching dudes having themselves a party of one.... once it was a guy in a car, once a guy just standing in the walkway between two apartment building, and the worst one... an old dude on a CITY BUS (which happened to be full of Catholic school girls, myself included) at about 7:30 am.

WHAT the hell is up with you dudes whacking it out just any old where you feel like it?

I would have kicked his ass...no questions asked. Punched him right in the face for being lude, using poor judgment, and being perverse. I think he wanted to be caught. No rational human being does something like that. Additonally, I would never talk to him again. If I still had a job there.

bluejeangirl76 wrote:

Gin and Tonic Sky wrote:Never saw anyone slapping their salami in public, but I have walked into folks banging in a meatlocker before.

Opposite here. I've never seen and couples banging in public, but THRICE I've had the misfortune of catching dudes having themselves a party of one.... once it was a guy in a car, once a guy just standing in the walkway between two apartment building, and the worst one... an old dude on a CITY BUS (which happened to be full of Catholic school girls, myself included) at about 7:30 am.

WHAT the hell is up with you dudes whacking it out just any old where you feel like it?

there were two guys i went to school with who flogged the dolphin in class

bluejeangirl76 wrote:

Gin and Tonic Sky wrote:Never saw anyone slapping their salami in public, but I have walked into folks banging in a meatlocker before.

Opposite here. I've never seen and couples banging in public, but THRICE I've had the misfortune of catching dudes having themselves a party of one.... once it was a guy in a car, once a guy just standing in the walkway between two apartment building, and the worst one... an old dude on a CITY BUS (which happened to be full of Catholic school girls, myself included) at about 7:30 am.

WHAT the hell is up with you dudes whacking it out just any old where you feel like it?

Sane people don't do it. You can just blame the medical field. They advertise for a medication that controls restless legs or sleep depravity, or depression. People are all doped up now days. At least the ones caught pumping the lotion dispenser in public are.

I've heard of three people at work in 25 years doing that, none of them are what you would consider normal acting people.

It's gotta be the drugs. Fucking doctors prescribe antidepressants for people like candy and they're on them for years on end and are still depressed. The thing is, an antidepressant works differently on everyone. It may work wonders for one person, but the next is jerking off in public, or drowning their kids in a bathtub.

Rick wrote:

bluejeangirl76 wrote:

Gin and Tonic Sky wrote:Never saw anyone slapping their salami in public, but I have walked into folks banging in a meatlocker before.

Opposite here. I've never seen and couples banging in public, but THRICE I've had the misfortune of catching dudes having themselves a party of one.... once it was a guy in a car, once a guy just standing in the walkway between two apartment building, and the worst one... an old dude on a CITY BUS (which happened to be full of Catholic school girls, myself included) at about 7:30 am.

WHAT the hell is up with you dudes whacking it out just any old where you feel like it?

Sane people don't do it. You can just blame the medical field. They advertise for a medication that controls restless legs or sleep depravity, or depression. People are all doped up now days. At least the ones caught pumping the lotion dispenser in public are.

I've heard of three people at work in 25 years doing that, none of them are what you would consider normal acting people.

It's gotta be the drugs. Fucking doctors prescribe antidepressants for people like candy and they're on them for years on end and are still depressed. The thing is, an antidepressant works differently on everyone. It may work wonders for one person, but the next is jerking off in public, or drowning their kids in a bathtub.

Either that or someone is dropping Viagra in the office coffee pot.

Rick wrote:The thing is, an antidepressant works differently on everyone.

Hence why a no-damn-pills lifestyle is the best.

Rhiannon wrote:

Rick wrote:The thing is, an antidepressant works differently on everyone.

Hence why a no-damn-pills lifestyle is the best.

Absolutely. Look how fucking happy I am.

Rick wrote:

Rhiannon wrote:

Rick wrote:The thing is, an antidepressant works differently on everyone.

Hence why a no-damn-pills lifestyle is the best.

Absolutely. Look how fucking happy I am.

High-five! Very nice!

Rick wrote:It's gotta be the drugs.

"Side effects may include nausea, vomiting, headache, itching, watery eyes, flourescent urine, excessive mucus production, sleeplessness, dry mouth, coughing, random public masturbating, dizziness, temporary blindness, shortness of breath..."

bluejeangirl76 wrote:

Rick wrote:It's gotta be the drugs.

"Side effects may include nausea, vomiting, headache, itching, watery eyes, flourescent urine, excessive mucus production, sleeplessness, dry mouth, coughing, random public masturbating, dizziness, temporary blindness, shortness of breath..."

ROFL!

Someone should steal this stuff for their standup comedy routine. Priceless!

bluejeangirl76 wrote:

Rick wrote:It's gotta be the drugs.

"Side effects may include nausea, vomiting, headache, itching, watery eyes, flourescent urine, excessive mucus production, sleeplessness, dry mouth, coughing, random public masturbating, dizziness, temporary blindness, shortness of breath..."

I actually have a pretty cool comedy set written....I just loathe public speaking....and it includes a bit on side effects of drugs, how quaint.