MR

Can anyone on here tonight give me some feedback on this new track?

"This Is Your Life"

I am particularly concerned about the crazy "Sowing The Seeds Of Love" bridge...

www.myspace.com/jeremeyhunsicker

[NOTE: Edited because ReverbNation didn't have the whole track on there.]

I just like what I like...and...I like...

Beautiful, Jeremey! Totally digging your vocals there.

Jeremey wrote:Can anyone on here tonight give me some feedback on this new track?

"This Is Your Life"

I am particularly concerned about the crazy "Sowing The Seeds Of Love" bridge...

www.reverbnation.com/jeremey

That is absolutely beautiful...lyrically as well as your voice.....the best I've heard from you.

Wow. Thank you very much....Isn't it like 2:35 in the afternoon in Maui now Tom!? Man, I'm hungry for some poi.

Anyway, I just realized that reverbnation only limits songs to 8 MB, so the "sgt peppers" bridge I was talking about, you guys didn't even get to hear.

I've reposted it here on myspace for the next few hours...

www.myspace.com/jeremeyhunsicker

Jeremey wrote:Wow. Thank you very much....Isn't it like 2:35 in the afternoon in Maui now Tom!? Man, I'm hungry for some poi.

Anyway, I just realized that reverbnation only limits songs to 8 MB, so the "sgt peppers" bridge I was talking about, you guys didn't even get to hear.

I've reposted it here on myspace for the next few hours...

www.myspace.com/jeremeyhunsicker

about 8:30 pm...and...poi SUCKS!

Jeremy, right now I'm unable to pull it up. But go on the thread "Journey AP on MYX presents." I mentioned a performance I love of yours. I will figure this link out tomorrow and listen.

Maui Tom wrote:about 8:30 pm...and...poi SUCKS!

That's the best time of the weekend, actually. 8:30 on Sunday. Let me live there in Purgatory.

Anyway....Poi may suck, but Andrew Zimmern sure found a delicious way to prepare pig there in HI, which had to do with roasting it over banana leaves. Mmmm...Pork.....

Jeremey wrote:

Maui Tom wrote:about 8:30 pm...and...poi SUCKS!

That's the best time of the weekend, actually. 8:30 on Sunday. Let me live there in Purgatory.

Anyway....Poi may suck, but Andrew Zimmern sure found a delicious way to prepare pig there in HI, which had to do with roasting it over banana leaves. Mmmm...Pork.....

Poi tastes like Elmers school paste...and Kalua pig is roasted in the ground wrapped in banana leaves....delicious!

Blueskies wrote:

Jeremey wrote:

Maui Tom wrote:about 8:30 pm...and...poi SUCKS!

That's the best time of the weekend, actually. 8:30 on Sunday. Let me live there in Purgatory.

Anyway....Poi may suck, but Andrew Zimmern sure found a delicious way to prepare pig there in HI, which had to do with roasting it over banana leaves. Mmmm...Pork.....

Poi tastes like Elmers school paste...and Kalua pig is roasted in the ground wrapped in banana leaves....delicious!

Kalua pig is to die for...

Please send me some Kalua Pig.

Jeremey wrote:Please send me some Kalua Pig.

Come to our Super Bowl party....Hawaiian food galore!

Maui Tom wrote:

Blueskies wrote:

Jeremey wrote:

Maui Tom wrote:about 8:30 pm...and...poi SUCKS!

That's the best time of the weekend, actually. 8:30 on Sunday. Let me live there in Purgatory.

Anyway....Poi may suck, but Andrew Zimmern sure found a delicious way to prepare pig there in HI, which had to do with roasting it over banana leaves. Mmmm...Pork.....

Poi tastes like Elmers school paste...and Kalua pig is roasted in the ground wrapped in banana leaves....delicious!

Kalua pig is to die for...

Yep..been a while since I had some...also some lomi lomi salmon and portuguese sausage ...ugh!..I'm getting hungry! ..and derailing the thread...sorry Jeremey.

Blueskies wrote:

Maui Tom wrote:

Blueskies wrote:

Jeremey wrote:

Maui Tom wrote:about 8:30 pm...and...poi SUCKS!

That's the best time of the weekend, actually. 8:30 on Sunday. Let me live there in Purgatory.

Anyway....Poi may suck, but Andrew Zimmern sure found a delicious way to prepare pig there in HI, which had to do with roasting it over banana leaves. Mmmm...Pork.....

Poi tastes like Elmers school paste...and Kalua pig is roasted in the ground wrapped in banana leaves....delicious!

Kalua pig is to die for...

Yep..been a while since I had some...also some lomi lomi salmon and portuguese sausage ...ugh!..I'm getting hungry!

Spam Musabi!

Maui Tom wrote:

Blueskies wrote:

Maui Tom wrote:

Blueskies wrote:

Jeremey wrote:

Maui Tom wrote:about 8:30 pm...and...poi SUCKS!

That's the best time of the weekend, actually. 8:30 on Sunday. Let me live there in Purgatory.

Anyway....Poi may suck, but Andrew Zimmern sure found a delicious way to prepare pig there in HI, which had to do with roasting it over banana leaves. Mmmm...Pork.....

Poi tastes like Elmers school paste...and Kalua pig is roasted in the ground wrapped in banana leaves....delicious!

Kalua pig is to die for...

Yep..been a while since I had some...also some lomi lomi salmon and portuguese sausage ...ugh!..I'm getting hungry!

Spam Musabi!

More Spam is sold there then anywhere else in the world! Shaka, bro!

Blueskies wrote:

Maui Tom wrote:

Blueskies wrote:

Maui Tom wrote:

Blueskies wrote:

Jeremey wrote:

Maui Tom wrote:about 8:30 pm...and...poi SUCKS!

That's the best time of the weekend, actually. 8:30 on Sunday. Let me live there in Purgatory.

Anyway....Poi may suck, but Andrew Zimmern sure found a delicious way to prepare pig there in HI, which had to do with roasting it over banana leaves. Mmmm...Pork.....

Poi tastes like Elmers school paste...and Kalua pig is roasted in the ground wrapped in banana leaves....delicious!

Kalua pig is to die for...

Yep..been a while since I had some...also some lomi lomi salmon and portuguese sausage ...ugh!..I'm getting hungry!

Spam Musabi!

More Spam is sold there then anywhere else in the world! Shaka, bro!

grindz!

Maui Tom wrote:

Blueskies wrote:

Maui Tom wrote:

Blueskies wrote:

Maui Tom wrote:

Blueskies wrote:

Jeremey wrote:

Maui Tom wrote:about 8:30 pm...and...poi SUCKS!

That's the best time of the weekend, actually. 8:30 on Sunday. Let me live there in Purgatory.

Anyway....Poi may suck, but Andrew Zimmern sure found a delicious way to prepare pig there in HI, which had to do with roasting it over banana leaves. Mmmm...Pork.....

Poi tastes like Elmers school paste...and Kalua pig is roasted in the ground wrapped in banana leaves....delicious!

Kalua pig is to die for...

Yep..been a while since I had some...also some lomi lomi salmon and portuguese sausage ...ugh!..I'm getting hungry!

Spam Musabi!

More Spam is sold there then anywhere else in the world! Shaka, bro!

grindz!

Stop! Jeremey's gonna kill us!

It's nice to hear your own voice. I like the song.

A rather good song, Jeremey.
But I thought the bridge treatment didn't help it at all.
Also, maybe the drums have too dry a sound compared
to how moist the rest of the recording is.

Some tweaking, and this thing could be a killer.

JM2


-wech

Jeremey, just beautiful...the vocals are incredible...
really liked it.

Jeremey,

I really love the song. There are several sloppy keyboard parts in there that I think distract me from the vocals, and there are a few pitchy parts on the vocals. I think if you work with a good producer though, you'll have a hit with this song. The bridge...I like it, but if there were real horns in there it might work better. Either that, or have a melodic guitar solo in there. Great song.

really nice Jeremy. sorry I am slow getting up to speed with you on your new stuff.

I hope you NEVER use synth flutes, however, cuz i'll has ta slap ya.

call me. i'm cheap.

the 2nd measure of the 'brass' break--I'd like to hear a different chord. dunno what. i was expecting it to go somehwere else i guess. I'll listen again......

Thanks you guys for checking it out. The bridge is what I was most concerned with....I'm playing all the instruments so the piano is pretty sloppy, but I've got a piano player in mind to handle that part for me. The bridge just happened with this odd "Sowing The Seeds of Love" thing, so I wasn't sure if it fit, but the song doesn't seem complete without it. I'm waiting for Spinks' opinion on it too. Thanks for checking it out! I'll leave it up until this afternoon....

J

Your extended vibrato is keeping you from stellar performances. And it's also making you sound pitchy at times due to the slow speed of the vibrato. Anytime you hear a singer with this much vibrato it just makes them sound "older", it might go over ok in a gospel format, but doesn't really fit the melodic rock demographic you're targeting. Limit your vibrato to the end of a phrase and not quite so strong and it would sound much better. Personally I would have liked a softer vocal delivery on the verse building up to the chorus. And you're right that bridge does not fit, maybe an extended powerful emotional guitar solo there instead of the marching band vibe. You're also getting a Cher vibe in the back of your throat sound at times, be careful of that because it really alters the color of your voice. Thanks for posting your songs here for others to comment on.

its weird...am I the only one that hears Chicago in there with the horn section or is that a synth... and also can hear that it does sound like sg pepper in that part as well...and maybe a little of peter Cetero (spell) voice and some soft country rock melody... great original song.. Love it.

Rick

Jeremey wrote:Thanks you guys for checking it out. The bridge is what I was most concerned with....I'm playing all the instruments so the piano is pretty sloppy, but I've got a piano player in mind to handle that part for me. The bridge just happened with this odd "Sowing The Seeds of Love" thing, so I wasn't sure if it fit, but the song doesn't seem complete without it. I'm waiting for Spinks' opinion on it too. Thanks for checking it out! I'll leave it up until this afternoon....

J

no keep the bridge!! it's good!! just that one chord is a little...something..............uh..........it doesn't quite fit. dunno. if I was just with you at the keyboard. hmmmm. i am no help at all. there are chord books that have a list of alternate chords that can be used. am I making an sense?? surely there are some here who can suggest. Eric? he's working with EVERYONE ELSE for crying out loud!!! ehehehe.