MR

Getting together ideas for my EP and G.I Jim asked to play keys on that song i posted about a week or so ago. I LOVE what he did with it. Short tune and may get another part or may not... I really trust the opinion of of those around here and know you will tell it like it is which is why I post my stuff here from time to time. Hope nobody minds..

Gi. jim added about 100 tons of mood with his great keyboard and string arrangement.. Hope you enjoy it.

Thanks again Jim..

FYI. This isnt really melodic rock.. Melodic maybe but not rock.. More.... Ummm.... You tell me ?

https://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php? ... fc77ebf567

Clicked the link but didn't hear anything.

duh.....how do you do it?

The link is messed up sorry. Working on it.

I hate this putfile site... any chance of putting it on MySpace, YouSendIt or the like?

Jim is uploading it for me. I am having some kind of issue with my comp today.. Flakey stuff..

Here it is! Hope you enjoy it.


https://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php? ... fc77ebf567

It works Jim. Thanks man... Edited 1st post with new link.

Dark and sexy......love it!!!, Great job guys and THANKS!!! :wink:

Michigan Girl wrote:Dark and sexy......love it!!!, Great job guys and THANKS!!! :wink:

Ooooh! . Thanks MG! I'm glad you like it.

It's great! It reminds me of an updated version of some Moody Blues song.

Since you asked for input I have to say..it could be better lyrically..by that I mean it's not cohesive..your putting words together for rhyme and one or two lines that express an emotion but theres a separation in the thoughts from how it starts to how it ends so the theme doesn't really come across to tell a story... to me songs are short stories...and it comes across more like random thoughts rather then a cohesive emotional statement...although what you have does sound good if your not really listening for what the song says...jmo. You have a great voice and musically it's fantastic!...there is a haunting quality between the keys and guitar now that is very, very cool.

Blueskies wrote:Since you asked for input I have to say..it could be better lyrically..by that I mean it's not cohesive..your putting words together for rhyme and one or two lines that express an emotion but theres a separation in the thoughts from how it starts to how it ends so the theme doesn't really come across to tell a story... to me songs are short stories...and it comes across more like random thoughts rather then a cohesive emotional statement...although what you have does sound good if your not really listening for what the song says...jmo. You have a great voice and musically it's fantastic!...there is a haunting quality between the keys and guitar now that is very, very cool.

You nailed it on the head. I have to come up with whatever flows. I can write music but lyrics make me want to pull out my hair !!! There is another mr member that gave me some lyrical ldeas but I havnt been able to record them yet or work out how they would flow.

Liquid_Drummer wrote:

Blueskies wrote:Since you asked for input I have to say..it could be better lyrically..by that I mean it's not cohesive..your putting words together for rhyme and one or two lines that express an emotion but theres a separation in the thoughts from how it starts to how it ends so the theme doesn't really come across to tell a story... to me songs are short stories...and it comes across more like random thoughts rather then a cohesive emotional statement...although what you have does sound good if your not really listening for what the song says...jmo. You have a great voice and musically it's fantastic!...there is a haunting quality between the keys and guitar now that is very, very cool.

You nailed it on the head. I have to come up with whatever flows. I can write music but lyrics make me want to pull out my hair !!! There is another mr member that gave me some lyrical ldeas but I havnt been able to record them yet or work out how they would flow.

Sorry to be critical of the lyrics on 2 of your songs now... and I do apologize for playing with your lyrics a little and changing part of what you had on the other song. There are some very talented people here and I'm sure they helped you out a whole lot better then my suggestions did. Like I said, musically and vocally you really have talent and I'm sure that when you have a good lyricist to collaborate with it will all come together and be fantastic. Keep up the good work.

You know...I know there's a gap of some sort with his lyrics, but I like them just the same. Not all songs have to be totally coherant. I just really dig the laid back vibe he came up with, and it was a lot of fun to work on. Like I told him...normally I'll reherse the hell out of a song before I record it, but with his I just sat down and jammed. This came really easy. Hopefully we'll work on some stuff in the future!

I liked that a lot. You guys should keep working together.

G.I.Jim wrote:You know...I know there's a gap of some sort with his lyrics, but I like them just the same. Not all songs have to be totally coherant. I just really dig the laid back vibe he came up with, and it was a lot of fun to work on. Like I told him...normally I'll reherse the hell out of a song before I record it, but with his I just sat down and jammed. This came really easy. Hopefully we'll work on some stuff in the future!

Lyrics are a bonus, not a necessary component of a good song to me. I like this song a lot, love the mood. That tremolo EP or whatever it is you used is great too

G.I.Jim wrote:You know...I know there's a gap of some sort with his lyrics, but I like them just the same. Not all songs have to be totally coherant. I just really dig the laid back vibe he came up with, and it was a lot of fun to work on. Like I told him...normally I'll reherse the hell out of a song before I record it, but with his I just sat down and jammed. This came really easy. Hopefully we'll work on some stuff in the future!

Hey, he asks for opinions so I gave mine...doesn't mean anyone has to agree with it or don't have their own. what you did really enhanced it..well done.

Blueskies wrote:

G.I.Jim wrote:You know...I know there's a gap of some sort with his lyrics, but I like them just the same. Not all songs have to be totally coherant. I just really dig the laid back vibe he came up with, and it was a lot of fun to work on. Like I told him...normally I'll reherse the hell out of a song before I record it, but with his I just sat down and jammed. This came really easy. Hopefully we'll work on some stuff in the future!

Hey, he asks for opinions so I gave mine...doesn't mean anyone has to agree with it or don't have their own. what you did really enhanced it..well done.

Thanks! And I wasn't trying to say not to comment...we all need to hear feedback to improve our abilities. I was just speaking for myself when I said I like it the way he wrote it. It's very cool to me! I appreciate ANY input you can give...even though you're a Hugo fan. JUST joking. I own all but his last album, and I'm a fan myself.

Blueskies wrote:

Liquid_Drummer wrote:

Blueskies wrote:Since you asked for input I have to say..it could be better lyrically..by that I mean it's not cohesive..your putting words together for rhyme and one or two lines that express an emotion but theres a separation in the thoughts from how it starts to how it ends so the theme doesn't really come across to tell a story... to me songs are short stories...and it comes across more like random thoughts rather then a cohesive emotional statement...although what you have does sound good if your not really listening for what the song says...jmo. You have a great voice and musically it's fantastic!...there is a haunting quality between the keys and guitar now that is very, very cool.

You nailed it on the head. I have to come up with whatever flows. I can write music but lyrics make me want to pull out my hair !!! There is another mr member that gave me some lyrical ldeas but I havnt been able to record them yet or work out how they would flow.

Sorry to be critical of the lyrics on 2 of your songs now... and I do apologize for playing with your lyrics a little and changing part of what you had on the other song. There are some very talented people here and I'm sure they helped you out a whole lot better then my suggestions did. Like I said, musically and vocally you really have talent and I'm sure that when you have a good lyricist to collaborate with it will all come together and be fantastic. Keep up the good work.

Oh no problems.. I welcome any views....And have been trying to use your additions. Thing is I cant decide if I want to extend it or not OR have it be a segway to another song..

G.I.Jim wrote:

Blueskies wrote:

G.I.Jim wrote:You know...I know there's a gap of some sort with his lyrics, but I like them just the same. Not all songs have to be totally coherant. I just really dig the laid back vibe he came up with, and it was a lot of fun to work on. Like I told him...normally I'll reherse the hell out of a song before I record it, but with his I just sat down and jammed. This came really easy. Hopefully we'll work on some stuff in the future!

Hey, he asks for opinions so I gave mine...doesn't mean anyone has to agree with it or don't have their own. what you did really enhanced it..well done.

Thanks! And I wasn't trying to say not to comment...we all need to hear feedback to improve our abilities. I was just speaking for myself when I said I like it the way he wrote it. It's very cool to me! I appreciate ANY input you can give...even though you're a Hugo fan. JUST joking. I own all but his last album, and I'm a fan myself.

Hugo fan? Don't even think I have anything done by Hugo.. I'd have to look through all my music to be correct on that though..might have gotten a download off of here or been sent some by a friend before..but can't remember any off hand.

Blueskies wrote:

Liquid_Drummer wrote:

Blueskies wrote:Since you asked for input I have to say..it could be better lyrically..by that I mean it's not cohesive..your putting words together for rhyme and one or two lines that express an emotion but theres a separation in the thoughts from how it starts to how it ends so the theme doesn't really come across to tell a story... to me songs are short stories...and it comes across more like random thoughts rather then a cohesive emotional statement...although what you have does sound good if your not really listening for what the song says...jmo. You have a great voice and musically it's fantastic!...there is a haunting quality between the keys and guitar now that is very, very cool.

You nailed it on the head. I have to come up with whatever flows. I can write music but lyrics make me want to pull out my hair !!! There is another mr member that gave me some lyrical ldeas but I havnt been able to record them yet or work out how they would flow.

Sorry to be critical of the lyrics on 2 of your songs now... and I do apologize for playing with your lyrics a little and changing part of what you had on the other song. There are some very talented people here and I'm sure they helped you out a whole lot better then my suggestions did. Like I said, musically and vocally you really have talent and I'm sure that when you have a good lyricist to collaborate with it will all come together and be fantastic. Keep up the good work.

This is the same song isnt it ??

Liquid_Drummer wrote:

Blueskies wrote:

Liquid_Drummer wrote:

Blueskies wrote:Since you asked for input I have to say..it could be better lyrically..by that I mean it's not cohesive..your putting words together for rhyme and one or two lines that express an emotion but theres a separation in the thoughts from how it starts to how it ends so the theme doesn't really come across to tell a story... to me songs are short stories...and it comes across more like random thoughts rather then a cohesive emotional statement...although what you have does sound good if your not really listening for what the song says...jmo. You have a great voice and musically it's fantastic!...there is a haunting quality between the keys and guitar now that is very, very cool.

You nailed it on the head. I have to come up with whatever flows. I can write music but lyrics make me want to pull out my hair !!! There is another mr member that gave me some lyrical ldeas but I havnt been able to record them yet or work out how they would flow.

Sorry to be critical of the lyrics on 2 of your songs now... and I do apologize for playing with your lyrics a little and changing part of what you had on the other song. There are some very talented people here and I'm sure they helped you out a whole lot better then my suggestions did. Like I said, musically and vocally you really have talent and I'm sure that when you have a good lyricist to collaborate with it will all come together and be fantastic. Keep up the good work.

This is the same song isnt it ??

.I commented on the first one you posted also.

WOW!

Um... please sir, can I have some more?

Seriously - this is really good. I'm not going to comment on the lyrics, because in all honestly, I was too lost in the music to pay much attention. And I'm a horror to give lyrical critique anyway, because I'm a writer and I always end re-writing stuff to suit my mood anyway. Based on two hearings, I'd say don't mess with it too much; it's got a feel and freshness to it that too much tweaking will destroy.

And please! More?

Sounds great LD and Jim. Great mix. My only complaint is I'd like to hear another verse. The lyrics end too early in the song for me. I know that's probably not what you want to hear because lyrics are a bitch, but that's what I think it needs.

Great song. Nice bluesy, eerie vibe. Really liked it.

Great song. Loved everything about it.

Rick wrote:Sounds great LD and Jim. Great mix. My only complaint is I'd like to hear another verse. The lyrics end too early in the song for me. I know that's probably not what you want to hear because lyrics are a bitch, but that's what I think it needs.

Great song. Nice bluesy, eerie vibe. Really liked it.

Thanks and I think you're right Rick. We had already talked about adding one, but were up in the air with it. I think it could work either way, but it may add something to the story to add that 3rd verse. Maybe we'll work on it some more.

And thanks Dan, I'm glad you liked it. BTW...What happened to my concert call??? -2 points for you!

G.I.Jim wrote:

Rick wrote:Sounds great LD and Jim. Great mix. My only complaint is I'd like to hear another verse. The lyrics end too early in the song for me. I know that's probably not what you want to hear because lyrics are a bitch, but that's what I think it needs.

Great song. Nice bluesy, eerie vibe. Really liked it.

Thanks and I think you're right Rick. We had already talked about adding one, but were up in the air with it. I think it could work either way, but it may add something to the story to add that 3rd verse. Maybe we'll work on it some more.

And thanks Dan, I'm glad you liked it. BTW...What happened to my concert call??? -2 points for you!

He says he lost his phone. Whatever.

G.I.Jim wrote: BTW...What happened to my concert call??? -2 points for you!

I didn't have my phone this weekend, but I should have audio and/or video up later this week.

Saint John wrote:

G.I.Jim wrote: BTW...What happened to my concert call??? -2 points for you!

I didn't have my phone this weekend, but I should have audio and/or video up later this week.

I guess that'll suffice! Cool.