MR

Very interesting list. Check out #58.


http://www.guitarworld.com/article/100_ ... page=0%2C0

ebake02 wrote:Very interesting list. Check out #58.


http://www.guitarworld.com/article/100_ ... page=0%2C0

58 JOURNEY
“Faithfully”
Frontiers (1983)
GUITARIST: Neal Schon

It’s too easy to diss anything Neal Schon has done. After all, he’s the idiot who allegedly tried to kick Carlos Santana out of Santana. But the solo on “Faithfully” sums up everything that was wrong with Eighties rock guitar, and then some. The wimpy wankfest that ends this song is so overplayed, overblown and overextended that you wish it was over now.

Jesus, no one was spared. Hendrix, The Who, Bruce, they all got it.

Nice to see Styx making an appearance with that shit song Roboto, and Kiss of course showing up. They could have filled the entire top 100 IMO, but I digress.

The one I agree with 100% is at #17-

17 DEF LEPPARD
“Rocket”
Hysteria (1987)
GUITARISTS: Steve Clark and Phil Collen

Even Mutt Lange’s production wizardry can’t disguise the fact that this song is essentially a killer chorus surrounded by weak-to-the-point-of-nonexistent verses, with a solo that any fouryear- old with a rack-mounted effects unit could play.

Complete hacks. Can't sing. Old, Every song sounds the same. Piped in vocals, canned guitars. Enough already. Who in the Hell buys a ticket to see these guys "live?" There is nothing "live" about them. Journey absolutely crushed them on that tour in 2006, and THAT quote I will NEVER deviate from, so a big fuck you goes out to Rhiannon the post finding rug muncher, Dan the bastard who just fucks with me for giggles and BJG, because she is BJG.

Geez - who pooped in this guy's cornflakes????

Guitar solo aside - these comments about Triumph - totally unwarranted
55 TRIUMPH
“Lay It on the Line”
Just a Game (1979)
GUITARIST: Rik Emmett

This is a good song…for me to poop on! Canada should apologize to America for foisting this comic dog of a band on us during the Seventies. Rik Emmett plods through vapid power chords before blasting into his solo with all the panache and finesse of a bulldog mounting a poodle. At best, Triumph were a B-grade version of Rush—Limbaugh, that is.

This, on the other hand, I (mostly) agree with
10 LENNY KRAVITZ
“American Woman”
5 (1998)
GUITARIST: Lenny Kravitz
In this plodding, lethargic remake of the Guess Who hit, Lenny Kravitz sucks all the bounce and air out of Randy Bachman’s classic riff like a vampire performing cunnilingus on a blow-up doll. If songs could give out restraining orders, Kravitz would be forced to stay away from everything recorded between 1960 and 1979.

Rockindeano wrote:Jesus, no one was spared. Hendrix, The Who, Bruce, they all got it.

Nice to see Styx making an appearance with that shit song Roboto, and Kiss of course showing up. They could have filled the entire top 100 IMO, but I digress.

The one I agree with 100% is at #17-

17 DEF LEPPARD
“Rocket”
Hysteria (1987)
GUITARISTS: Steve Clark and Phil Collen

Even Mutt Lange’s production wizardry can’t disguise the fact that this song is essentially a killer chorus surrounded by weak-to-the-point-of-nonexistent verses, with a solo that any fouryear- old with a rack-mounted effects unit could play.

Complete hacks. Can't sing. Old, Every song sounds the same. Piped in vocals, canned guitars. Enough already. Who in the Hell buys a ticket to see these guys "live?" There is nothing "live" about them. Journey absolutely crushed them on that tour in 2006, and THAT quote I will NEVER deviate from, so a big fuck you goes out to Rhiannon the post finding rug muncher, Dan the bastard who just fucks with me for giggles and BJG, because she is BJG.

Even though he made the list, I thought Bruce (Stevie) got off the easiest...

AlteredDNA wrote:

Rockindeano wrote:Jesus, no one was spared. Hendrix, The Who, Bruce, they all got it.

Nice to see Styx making an appearance with that shit song Roboto, and Kiss of course showing up. They could have filled the entire top 100 IMO, but I digress.

The one I agree with 100% is at #17-

17 DEF LEPPARD
“Rocket”
Hysteria (1987)
GUITARISTS: Steve Clark and Phil Collen

Even Mutt Lange’s production wizardry can’t disguise the fact that this song is essentially a killer chorus surrounded by weak-to-the-point-of-nonexistent verses, with a solo that any fouryear- old with a rack-mounted effects unit could play.

Complete hacks. Can't sing. Old, Every song sounds the same. Piped in vocals, canned guitars. Enough already. Who in the Hell buys a ticket to see these guys "live?" There is nothing "live" about them. Journey absolutely crushed them on that tour in 2006, and THAT quote I will NEVER deviate from, so a big fuck you goes out to Rhiannon the post finding rug muncher, Dan the bastard who just fucks with me for giggles and BJG, because she is BJG.

Even though he made the list, I thought Bruce (Stevie) got off the easiest...

There are three lead guitars on Badlands..Bruce, Stevie and Nils. It is a so so guitar, but that's ok. The song is a wall of sound, pianos, and rthym guitars, organs, etc. I can live with this. Great song though. It will get played at Super Bowl I believe.

Triple S wrote:Geez - who pooped in this guy's cornflakes????

Guitar solo aside - these comments about Triumph - totally unwarranted
55 TRIUMPH
“Lay It on the Line”
Just a Game (1979)
GUITARIST: Rik Emmett

This is a good song…for me to poop on! Canada should apologize to America for foisting this comic dog of a band on us during the Seventies. Rik Emmett plods through vapid power chords before blasting into his solo with all the panache and finesse of a bulldog mounting a poodle. At best, Triumph were a B-grade version of Rush—Limbaugh, that is.

Agreed, not even close.

But as much as I love that Nazareth song, I got a chuckle out this description and a few others like the Frampton one. The guy obviously doesn't like the talk box. Would almost swear that TNC or RND wrote some of these.


81 NAZARETH
“Hair of the Dog”
Hair of the Dog (1975)
GUITARIST: Manny Charlton

Really, has there ever been a better hard rock chorus than “Now you’re messin’ with [stomp! stomp!] a son of a bitch”? And has there ever been a more idiotic concept for a hard rock guitar solo than Manny Charlton’s interminable Talk Box excursion? The damn thing sounds like they let that duck from the Afflac commercial into the studio.

14 PETER FRAMPTON
“Do You Feel Like We Do”
Frampton Comes Alive (1976)

Come on—if you’re gonna address the audience through a Talk Box during your extended guitar solo, wouldn’t you at least have some fun with it and say “I need a blowjob,” or something?

Wow these guys are a bunch of idiots. A small portion of the list is arguably correct, but the majority......I don't think so. Like a comment from the site on the article, these guys must think you can learn to play guitar from playing guitar hero.

Most shocking to me though, is the fact that Guitar Player Magazine would even print this piece of shit article . Lost a bit of respect for that publication because of this.

This may be one of the only Guitar related lists that doesnt have Yngwie's name in it.

AlteredDNA wrote:

58 JOURNEY
“Faithfully”
Frontiers (1983)
GUITARIST: Neal Schon

It’s too easy to diss anything Neal Schon has done. After all, he’s the idiot who allegedly tried to kick Carlos Santana out of Santana. But the solo on “Faithfully” sums up everything that was wrong with Eighties rock guitar, and then some. The wimpy wankfest that ends this song is so overplayed, overblown and overextended that you wish it was over now.

HAHAHAHAHA

The beautiful thing abou the whole list is, with a few exceptions, the people they are slamming are all multi-millionaire successful musicians, why the reviewers here are not.

It is easy to throw snowballs when you are the ones out in the cold.

But it was a fun read, even in the people who wrote the thing are morons.

Guitarworld sucks- unless you look like a cheap imitation of Kiss with makeup and suck at guitar, they don't like you. They are about on par with Rolling Stone.

RossValoryRocks wrote:The beautiful thing abou the whole list is, with a few exceptions, the people they are slamming are all multi-millionaire successful musicians, why the reviewers here are not.

It is easy to throw snowballs when you are the ones out in the cold.

But it was a fun read, even in the people who wrote the thing are morons.

So no one should be allowed to criticize unless they have the same amount of money or talent?

Sarah wrote:

RossValoryRocks wrote:The beautiful thing abou the whole list is, with a few exceptions, the people they are slamming are all multi-millionaire successful musicians, why the reviewers here are not.

It is easy to throw snowballs when you are the ones out in the cold.

But it was a fun read, even in the people who wrote the thing are morons.

So no one should be allowed to criticize unless they have the same amount of money or talent?

No...but it easy to make fun of people who are more successful and talented rather than to become successful and talented.

SF-Dano wrote:Wow these guys are a bunch of idiots. A small portion of the list is arguably correct, but the majority......I don't think so. Like a comment from the site on the article, these guys must think you can learn to play guitar from playing guitar hero.

Most shocking to me though, is the fact that Guitar Player Magazine would even print this piece of shit article . Lost a bit of respect for that publication because of this.

It was Guitar WORLD magazine...big difference.

Guitar Player is the best rag out there on the subject and would NEVER print crap like this.

Sarah wrote:

RossValoryRocks wrote:The beautiful thing abou the whole list is, with a few exceptions, the people they are slamming are all multi-millionaire successful musicians, why the reviewers here are not.

It is easy to throw snowballs when you are the ones out in the cold.

But it was a fun read, even in the people who wrote the thing are morons.

So no one should be allowed to criticize unless they have the same amount of money or talent?

Wow, try and apply that theory to Bush.....

Rockindeano wrote:
Complete hacks. Can't sing. Old, Every song sounds the same. Piped in vocals, canned guitars. Enough already. Who in the Hell buys a ticket to see these guys "live?" There is nothing "live" about them. Journey absolutely crushed them on that tour in 2006, and THAT quote I will NEVER deviate from, so a big fuck you goes out to Rhiannon the post finding rug muncher, Dan the bastard who just fucks with me for giggles and BJG, because she is BJG.

Def Leppard is a great live band, they put on energetic shows and Joe Elliot still sounds great. Of course some things are going to be piped in - look at all of the different layers of music on a song like "Rocket". I don't think anyone crushed anyone on the 2006 tour; both bands were exceptional. I actually enjoyed Journey's performance a bit more when I saw the show, but Def Leppard was by no means crushed.

weatherman90 wrote:

Rockindeano wrote:
Complete hacks. Can't sing. Old, Every song sounds the same. Piped in vocals, canned guitars. Enough already. Who in the Hell buys a ticket to see these guys "live?" There is nothing "live" about them. Journey absolutely crushed them on that tour in 2006, and THAT quote I will NEVER deviate from, so a big fuck you goes out to Rhiannon the post finding rug muncher, Dan the bastard who just fucks with me for giggles and BJG, because she is BJG.

Def Leppard is a great live band, they put on energetic shows and Joe Elliot still sounds great. Of course some things are going to be piped in - look at all of the different layers of music on a song like "Rocket". I don't think anyone crushed anyone on the 2006 tour; both bands were exceptional. I actually enjoyed Journey's performance a bit more when I saw the show, but Def Leppard was by no means crushed.

Dude, you are mistaken. There is noting authentic about Lippard Live any more. They are such a disgrace from their former selves. I saw their "soundchecks." They are complete jokes. Everything fake. Everything. Get up close to them and really see what happens. I was actually appalled.

Rockindeano wrote:

AlteredDNA wrote:

Rockindeano wrote:Jesus, no one was spared. Hendrix, The Who, Bruce, they all got it.


17 DEF LEPPARD
“Rocket”
Hysteria (1987)
GUITARISTS: Steve Clark and Phil Collen

Even Mutt Lange’s production wizardry can’t disguise the fact that this song is essentially a killer chorus surrounded by weak-to-the-point-of-nonexistent verses, with a solo that any fouryear- old with a rack-mounted effects unit could play.

Complete hacks. Can't sing. Old, Every song sounds the same. Piped in vocals, canned guitars. Enough already. Who in the Hell buys a ticket to see these guys "live?" There is nothing "live" about them. Journey absolutely crushed them on that tour in 2006, and THAT quote I will NEVER deviate from, so a big fuck you goes out to Rhiannon the post finding rug muncher, Dan the bastard who just fucks with me for giggles and BJG, because she is BJG.

This basically sums up the 2006 tour !! Thats some good shit..and by the way tell Phil Collen to put a shirt on, 50 years old with a mayonaise tan. Do the women really like that ?????????

Like I live to find out what the hacks who write this article think before I decide what I like or not. Just an oppinion peice, he is entitled to write it, I am entitled to line my bird cage with it.........

ebake02 wrote:Very interesting list. Check out #58.


http://www.guitarworld.com/article/100_ ... page=0%2C0

OMG!!!! THANK YOU for posting this. I laughed so hard I STILL have tears coming down my face.

Here's some favorites:
61 LIVING COLOUR
“Cult of Personality”
Vivid (1988)
GUITARIST:Vernon Reid

Vernon Reid shows us what it would sound like if you tried to play a solo with a boat motor

85 BLUES TRAVELER
“Closing Down the Park”
Live from the Fall (1996)
GUITARIST: Chan Kinchla

For 13 minutes, guitarist Chan Kinchla and harmonicat John Popper spray sloppy notes all over each other like Ebola victims with diarrhea. This park shouldn’t have been closed down; it should have been permanently quarantined

87 AUTOGRAPH
“Turn Up the Radio”
Sign in Please (1984)
GUITARIST: Steve Lynch

We bet radios were turned off whenever anyone broadcast this piece of corporate metal crap. Steve Lynch, a bizarre-looking man who apparently bathed in bronzer, is one of the clowns who turned Eddie Van Halen’s two-handed tapping technique into an overused cliché during the Eighties. It sounds like Lynch was playing with one hand down his pants.


God almighty, these are hilarious! (even the ones I don't agree with!)
If you can't laugh at this, you need to have your "funny bone" checked!

13 KENNY LOGGINS
“Danger Zone”
Top Gun soundtrack (1986)
GUITARIST: unknown

When I think “danger,” I think Kenny Loggins. Or not. Ol’ Kenny, who boogied with a gopher in Caddyshack and taught rhythmless rednecks to disco with his hit “Footloose,” made “Danger Zone” the U.S. Armed Forces’ most popular recruiting song since the Village People sang “In the Navy.” Just thinking about those over-processed power chords and that whiny lead induces a jet stream of vomit. Every time we hear the kids in South Park say “They killed Kenny!” we wish they were talking about this bearded, mullethaired rocker.

That guitarist was Dann Huff, multiplatinum Nashville producer (and one of the dudes from Giant). Not that bad a solo but considering what Dann's bank account looks like these days I doubt he's sweating lists like these.

Rockindeano wrote:

weatherman90 wrote:

Rockindeano wrote:
Complete hacks. Can't sing. Old, Every song sounds the same. Piped in vocals, canned guitars. Enough already. Who in the Hell buys a ticket to see these guys "live?" There is nothing "live" about them. Journey absolutely crushed them on that tour in 2006, and THAT quote I will NEVER deviate from, so a big fuck you goes out to Rhiannon the post finding rug muncher, Dan the bastard who just fucks with me for giggles and BJG, because she is BJG.

Def Leppard is a great live band, they put on energetic shows and Joe Elliot still sounds great. Of course some things are going to be piped in - look at all of the different layers of music on a song like "Rocket". I don't think anyone crushed anyone on the 2006 tour; both bands were exceptional. I actually enjoyed Journey's performance a bit more when I saw the show, but Def Leppard was by no means crushed.

Dude, you are mistaken. There is noting authentic about Lippard Live any more. They are such a disgrace from their former selves. I saw their "soundchecks." They are complete jokes. Everything fake. Everything. Get up close to them and really see what happens. I was actually appalled.

I haven't been to a soundcheck, and I don't know what you're implying, but lead vocals, guitar solos, etc. are not piped in.

Cool....No Judas Priest.

Jeremey wrote:Cool....No Judas Priest.

I could probably pull a couple of Priest tunes out with uninspired solos...Not many, though.

weatherman90 wrote:I haven't been to a soundcheck, and I don't know what you're implying, but lead vocals, guitar solos, etc. are not piped in.

No? Lead vocals are piped in. Not all the time like Augeri had, but a lot. Yes, prerecorded music is also piped in, extra guitars, and other shit. If you don't believe me, I understand, but there are some rock stars who are popular on this board(and no I won't give them up), who can tell you the same thing. I know you are a fan and don't want to hear this, and I am not going to push it either, but it's true. They are a huge fraud.

I could have a walk in the park proving these fucks guilty, but don't care enough to take the time to do it. The Journey case was harder than this would be.

Rockindeano wrote:

weatherman90 wrote:I haven't been to a soundcheck, and I don't know what you're implying, but lead vocals, guitar solos, etc. are not piped in.

No? Lead vocals are piped in. Not all the time like Augeri had, but a lot. Yes, prerecorded music is also piped in, extra guitars, and other shit. If you don't believe me, I understand, but there are some rock stars who are popular on this board(and no I won't give them up), who can tell you the same thing. I know you are a fan and don't want to hear this, and I am not going to push it either, but it's true. They are a huge fraud.

I could have a walk in the park proving these fucks guilty, but don't care enough to take the time to do it. The Journey case was harder than this would be.

I don't necessarily doubt you because you've been an insider on many things in the past and I don't see that changing with your return to the forum. All that I'm saying is visual/audio proof does help enforce as evidence.

I wonder how many nights of sleep these guys lost staying up and thinking of exciting new ways to insult musicians.

Rockindeano wrote:Jesus, no one was spared. Hendrix, The Who, Bruce, they all got it.

Nice to see Styx making an appearance with that shit song Roboto, and Kiss of course showing up. They could have filled the entire top 100 IMO, but I digress.

The one I agree with 100% is at #17-

17 DEF LEPPARD
“Rocket”
Hysteria (1987)
GUITARISTS: Steve Clark and Phil Collen

Even Mutt Lange’s production wizardry can’t disguise the fact that this song is essentially a killer chorus surrounded by weak-to-the-point-of-nonexistent verses, with a solo that any fouryear- old with a rack-mounted effects unit could play.

Complete hacks. Can't sing. Old, Every song sounds the same. Piped in vocals, canned guitars. Enough already. Who in the Hell buys a ticket to see these guys "live?" There is nothing "live" about them. Journey absolutely crushed them on that tour in 2006, and THAT quote I will NEVER deviate from, so a big fuck you goes out to Rhiannon the post finding rug muncher, Dan the bastard who just fucks with me for giggles and BJG, because she is BJG.

yea remember that bass solo??how fuckin lame. As DL hada 15 min bass solo. i was able to get a drink, take a piss, and fuckin leave out of the parkin lot, whille all the other retards sayed and waited 2 hours to leave after that lame ass bass solo.never give a bass player a solo,that aint his fuckin job

This article is at least a couple of years old, but it's funny anyway. Can't take it too seriously. BTW, say what you will about Lepp, Vivian and Phil are great players.