MR

Ever think you got the raw end of a deal? Someone may just have it worse than you...

Some of these are just priceless...

http://www.fmylife.com/

This one was grand!

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

T-Bone wrote::lol:

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

I didn't think you swung that way.

It was an exerpt from the site jenius...

Now put the knockers back in your sig....

T-Bone wrote:Now put the knockers back in your sig....

As you wish... my knockers!

you have weird rings in your weird nipples

T-Bone wrote:you have weird rings in your weird nipples

And there are three of them

Today, my parents gave me a shirt from Banana Republic for my birthday. It looked like one I had bought for myself a couple of days earlier but I thanked them and went to hang it in my closet. An empty hanger hung where I placed the shirt I had purchased. They gave me my shirt for my birthday.

T-Bone wrote::lol: This one was grand!

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

My ex used to say stupid shit like that.
He had a more offensive one than that but I'm not going to repeat it.

bluejeangirl76 wrote:

T-Bone wrote::lol: This one was grand!

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

My ex used to say stupid shit like that.
He had a more offensive one than that but I'm not going to repeat it.

Why is it ex-husbands, ex-boyfriends, whatever they were, cannot have a conversation without throwing something sexual in? They absolutely think you still want them.

Jana wrote:

bluejeangirl76 wrote:

T-Bone wrote::lol: This one was grand!

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

My ex used to say stupid shit like that.
He had a more offensive one than that but I'm not going to repeat it.

Why is it ex-husbands, ex-boyfriends, whatever they were, cannot have a conversation without throwing something sexual in? They absolutely think you still want them.

No this was before he was an ex. Its just how he talked to me. Thought it was funny.
I mean it was funny once, or at random times... but... meh.

Jana wrote:

bluejeangirl76 wrote:

T-Bone wrote::lol: This one was grand!

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

My ex used to say stupid shit like that.
He had a more offensive one than that but I'm not going to repeat it.

Why is it ex-husbands, ex-boyfriends, whatever they were, cannot have a conversation without throwing something sexual in? They absolutely think you still want them.

Alot of times Exes become non-exes for short periods of time...one-night stands....etc. Just saying. Feel free to tell me to shut the fuck up.


And that's my little contribution to the VIEW. LMAO

StocktontoMalone wrote:

Jana wrote:

bluejeangirl76 wrote:

T-Bone wrote::lol: This one was grand!

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

My ex used to say stupid shit like that.
He had a more offensive one than that but I'm not going to repeat it.

Why is it ex-husbands, ex-boyfriends, whatever they were, cannot have a conversation without throwing something sexual in? They absolutely think you still want them.

Alot of times Exes become non-exes for short periods of time...one-night stands....etc. Just saying. Feel free to tell me to shut the fuck up.


And that's my little contribution to the VIEW. LMAO

Well, I probably should have said ex-boyfriends anway, and shouldn't have said ex-husbands. Seventy percent of the time once the divorce is final you can't even stand talking to each other.

Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

Now THIS was priceless....

Back in college I shared a quad with three other guys. We became friends over the course of a few weeks, and made a pact that we were going to each have a girl in our beds at the same time before end of semester. We had bunkbeds. Well not long before the end we did it. And we did the High-five thing. Priceless. But those are the stupid things college kids do. Shhhhhh.

Classic... I used to work with a girl that had a stache... She had a friend help wax it one time and the wax was too hot or something. She came to work the next day with a huge ouchie where her stache used to be... I knew she DARED anyone to say something hy the look in her eyes

Today, I went to the hair salon to cut 6 in. off my hair. When I got there I decided to get my upper lip waxed for the first time. When my boyfriend came to pick me up for our date I asked if he noticed anything different about me, the first thing he said was "I see you got rid of you mustache." FML

Today, I drove to a job interview. I had to sneeze, but because I was driving on the highway, I didn't let go of the wheel to cover my mouth. I didn't know the sneeze was a "productive" one until I was sitting in the interview, looked down at my new blouse and saw the giant lugie sitting there. FML