MR

An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand, walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog.
He figures he will have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi "G'day mate, mind if I talk to your dog?'

VILLAGER: The dog doesn't talk you stupid Aussie.

VENTRILOQUIST: Hello dog, how is it goin' mate?

DOG: Doin' all right.

KIWI: {Look of extreme shock}

VENTRILOQUIST: Is this villager your owner? {pointing at the villager}

DOG: Yep

VENTRILOQUIST: How does he treat you?

DOG: Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play.

KIWI: {Look of utter disbelief}

VENTRILOQUIST: Mind if I talk to your horse?

KIWI: Uh, the horse doesn't talk either......I think.

VENTRILOQUIST: Hey horse, how's it going?

HORSE: Cool

KIWI: {Absolutely dumbfounded}

VENTRILOQUIST: Is this your owner? {Pointing at the villager}

HORESE: Yep.

VENTRILOQUIST: How does he treat you?

HORSE: Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements.

KIWI: {Total look of amazement}

VENTRILOQUIST: Mind If I talk to the sheep?

KIWI: {In a panic} The sheep's a liar.

Ooooooold joke. Still funny though.

You know the Kiwis tell that joke about American hillbillies and a goat, right?

Actually... We tell this joke with the Yankees and the rednecks