How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb? Six. One to do it, and five to say, "It's too high for him."
What's the missing link between the bass and the ape? The baritone.
How can you tell when a tenor is really, really dumb? The other tenors notice.
Why do jazz choirs rock side to side when singing? A moving target is harder to hit.
Where's a tenor's resonance? Where his brain should be.
What's the definition of a mezzo soprano? An alto with a soprano's attitude.
What's the definition of a male quartet? Three men and a tenor.
If you threw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which would hit the ground first? The violist, because the soprano would have to ask directions on the way down. But who cares?
How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to change the bulb and three to pull the chair out from under her.
What's the definition of an alto? A soprano who can sight-read.
What's the difference between an alto and a tenor? Tenors don't have hair on their backs.

(Spot the joke writen by a soprano)
How many basses does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They're so macho they prefer to walk in the dark and bang their shins.
What is the difference between the men's final at Wimbledon and a high school choral performance? The tennis final has more men.
How does a young man become a member of a high school chorus? On the first day of school he turns into the wrong classroom.
What is the difference between a world war and a primary school choral performance? The performance causes more suffering.
What's the definition of an optimist? A choral director with a mortgage.
What is the difference between a high school choral director and a chimpanzee? It's scientifically proven that chimpanzees are able to communicate with humans.
Why can't you hear a soprano on a digital recording? Recording technology has reached such an advanced level of development that all extraneous noise is eliminated.
What's the difference between a dressmaker and an alto? The dressmaker tucks up the frills.
What do you see when you look up an alto's skirt? A bass.
Why are soprano jokes all one-liners? So tenors can understand them.
What's the difference between a puppy and a choir soloist? Eventually the puppy stops whining.
And to get off the choir jokes for a bit (yes, I know far too many)...
Why do high school orchestras travel so often? Keeps the assassins guessing.
Why are conductors' hearts so coveted for transplants? They've had so little use.
Did you hear about the guy who was so dumb his music teacher gave him two sticks and he became a drummer? He was so dumb he lost one and became a conductor.
What's the difference between a bull and an orchestra? The bull has the horns at the front and the ass in the back.
A conductor and cornet player are standing in the middle of the road; which do you run over first? The conductor - business before pleasure.
What's the difference between God and a conductor? God knows He isn't a conductor.
