by Uno_up » Fri Jul 15, 2011 8:33 am
Not to derail this thread, but I just had a memory come back that I hadn't thought of in twenty years. One time (I think I was in my teens) my friends and I were at a house party in some chick's apartment. If I remember correctly we didn't like her for some reason. At some point my buddies Max, Pete and I went out on the patio. It's one of those 2nd floor concrete patios that can fit 3 or 4 people. Just beyond the sliding glass door and the closed curtain are all the party guests. Pete turns to Max and I and says, "I'm gonna take a shit right here on the patio." Back in those days that would not be something out of the ordinary for Pete to do (if you knew Pete now, you'd understand). So Max and I get all excited and start encouraging Pete to do it. "come on dude, I can see thru the curtain. No one's coming." but Pete was afraid that Max will tell everyone that he did it so he says, no way. Max is now pleading with Pete to do it and he swears he would never throw Pete under the bus when HE is the one encouraging Pete to do it. "why would I do that? I'm not a dick." that sounded reasonable to me. So Pete drops his jeans and unloads a 6" tight but loose, firm but wet brown bear. This thing is gorgeous! All 3 of us are laughing uncontrollably. Pete is just starting to pull his pants up when Max throws the sliding glass door open, pulls back the curtain and yells, "PETE JUST TOOK A SHIT ON THE PATIO!!!" I couldn't believe it. Pete doesn't even have his pants on yet, the smoking gun is on the floor, and people we don't even know are walking toward us to investigate. Pete is struggling with his belt and I'm thinking this is going to go bad. Pete gets himself situated but he still has a big problem at his feet. Just before the partiers arrive at the patio and I mean ONE second before they pull the curtain back, Pete reaches down, grabs the bear and fires it into the neighbors yard. Then he shoves his shitty hand in his pocket, narrowly escaping total disaster. One of the funniest moments of my life.