Do you use modern office jargon? C'mon, what's your favourite saying?
Or does it irritate the shite out of you? What saying can't you bear to hear 1 more time?
http://www.theguardian.com/money/2013/o ... ice-jargon
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]Annual leave - holiday is thought to sound too frivolous
Backfill - After someone has been sacked – sorry, "transitioned"
Close of play - A manager trying to hypnotise you into thinking you are having fun.
Drill down - why say drill down if you just mean "look at in detail"
Expectations
Flagpole, run this up the - mean "give it a try" or "test it"
Going forward - It has the added sly rhetorical aim of wiping clean the slate of the past
Heads-up - now the correctly breath-wasting way to say "I just wanted to tell you about …".
Issues - To call something a "problem" is utterly forbidden in the office
Journey - implications of personal growth
Key - take on key challenges, overcome key issues, meet key milestones, placate key stakeholders
Leverage - "leverage support" means "ask Bob in IT"
Matrix - The matrix is everywhere you look in the modern office. Basically, it's a spreadsheet
No-brainer - "You should not engage your brain in any attempt to argue with it".
Offline, take this - a truly bizarre modern way to say: "Let's talk about it later or in private."
Paradigm shift - owing to the widespread phenomenon of linguistic deflation, it has since become possible to call a much less world-shattering change a paradigm shift.
Quality - we want stuff to be … er, good?
Revert - "is a common way now of promising to do something. What's wrong with Reply? Respond?
Sunset - "We're going to sunset that project/service/version"
Thought shower - "brainstorm" is now discouraged, since it's insensitive to people with epilepsy
Upskill - usually means demanding more work for the same pay.
Vertical - we need to "leverage" the "learnings" across all the verticals
Workshop - "We're going to have to workshop that issue." Really?
X, theory
Yield - Don't ever say that your plan will "give" or "cause" or "result in" great things.
Zero cycles - in response to a request that you do some extra work: "Sorry, I have zero cycles for this." It's a splendidly polite and groovily technical way of saying: "Bugger off and don't ask me again."
