roman polanski

[Gin and Tonic Sky]

I'm gonna get "boo'd," but I don't care.....

Nobody at ANY age has ANY right whatsoever to have sex with ANY female under the age of 18 & no female under the age of 18 or at ANY age & still living at home with her parents has ANY right to have sex with ANYone ever. Yes, I said FEMALE & yes I said ANY age..... 30, 40, 50,....it's all the same to me. If she wants to do "grown up" things, than she needs to live on her own. I ain't having MY daughter coming home smelling like cigarettes & Armani cologne & smiling like that damn Cheshire cat. No effin' way!!!

My daughter had better be at least 18 years old AND living on her own before she has sex with ANY horny S.O.B. or she'll feel the wrath of dad thrust upon her.

.... & she ain't gonna wear no damn hussy make-up either!!!!----Not as long as there's breath in my body!!!!

Good for you! Kids are growing up way too quickly and they would be better off maintaining their childhoods as long as they can. The innocence of childhood can't be recovered once its lost. They shouldn't have sex under 18 at all. Childhood is the shortest period of life....they have the rest of the vast majority of their years to be adults.

+1

[Sarah]

I'm gonna get "boo'd," but I don't care.....

Nobody at ANY age has ANY right whatsoever to have sex with ANY female under the age of 18 & no female under the age of 18 or at ANY age & still living at home with her parents has ANY right to have sex with ANYone ever. Yes, I said FEMALE & yes I said ANY age..... 30, 40, 50,....it's all the same to me. If she wants to do "grown up" things, than she needs to live on her own. I ain't having MY daughter coming home smelling like cigarettes & Armani cologne & smiling like that damn Cheshire cat. No effin' way!!!

My daughter had better be at least 18 years old AND living on her own before she has sex with ANY horny S.O.B. or she'll feel the wrath of dad thrust upon her.

.... & she ain't gonna wear no damn hussy make-up either!!!!----Not as long as there's breath in my body!!!!

That's fine, I just hope you will make sure she knows how to get contraceptives in case the teen hormones DO take over. Abstinence-only education simply doesn't work, not on most 16 year olds.

[Arianddu]

I'm gonna get "boo'd," but I don't care.....

Nobody at ANY age has ANY right whatsoever to have sex with ANY female under the age of 18 & no female under the age of 18 or at ANY age & still living at home with her parents has ANY right to have sex with ANYone ever. Yes, I said FEMALE & yes I said ANY age..... 30, 40, 50,....it's all the same to me. If she wants to do "grown up" things, than she needs to live on her own. I ain't having MY daughter coming home smelling like cigarettes & Armani cologne & smiling like that damn Cheshire cat. No effin' way!!!

My daughter had better be at least 18 years old AND living on her own before she has sex with ANY horny S.O.B. or she'll feel the wrath of dad thrust upon her.

.... & she ain't gonna wear no damn hussy make-up either!!!!----Not as long as there's breath in my body!!!!

And your stance on boys is...?

[Peartree12249]

My daughter had better be at least 18 years old AND living on her own before she has sex with ANY horny S.O.B. or she'll feel the wrath of dad thrust upon her.

.... & she ain't gonna wear no damn hussy make-up either!!!!----Not as long as there's breath in my body!!!!

Good luck with that Jason.

[stevew2]

I'm gonna get "boo'd," but I don't care.....

Nobody at ANY age has ANY right whatsoever to have sex with ANY female under the age of 18 & no female under the age of 18 or at ANY age & still living at home with her parents has ANY right to have sex with ANYone ever. Yes, I said FEMALE & yes I said ANY age..... 30, 40, 50,....it's all the same to me. If she wants to do "grown up" things, than she needs to live on her own. I ain't having MY daughter coming home smelling like cigarettes & Armani cologne & smiling like that damn Cheshire cat. No effin' way!!!

My daughter had better be at least 18 years old AND living on her own before she has sex with ANY horny S.O.B. or she'll feel the wrath of dad thrust upon her.

.... & she ain't gonna wear no damn hussy make-up either!!!!----Not as long as there's breath in my body!!!!

I agree with you Jason but get fuckin real here,there would shelters of homeless girls and boys for givin it up before 18. I had my first piece at 12. How old were you when you had your first peice of tail {Male or female}? I had my daughters last boyfreind put in jail,so I know exactly where are are cumming from

[Arianddu]

My daughter had better be at least 18 years old AND living on her own before she has sex with ANY horny S.O.B. or she'll feel the wrath of dad thrust upon her.

Jason, this really got me thinking long and hard. I know at the moment she's your precious baby girl, and the mere thought of any guy having sexual thoughts about her is revolting and you would rip him limb from limb. And I know that you don't want to deal with the idea that one day she's going to be a woman and will love another man who isn't you, and who will share something with him that she could never, and should never, share with you. It's a scary thought all good Daddies go through.

But the point is, one day she is going to grow up, and she is going to be interested in boys, and unfortunately you need to make up your mind long before it happens how you are going to handle it. She's going to decide when she is ready to become sexually active, not you. The choice you have is, is she going to do it by sneaking out of the house and lying to you about her boyfriends, or is she going to do it openly and honestly? Is she going to hide the hurt and the mistakes she is going to make, because she's afraid of how you'll react to her being sexually active, or is she going to be secure enough in your trust and love that she will come to her Daddy for help and guidance? Which is more important - you avoiding emotional upset at having to deal with your baby being a grown up, or her wellbeing and safety once she becomes a very inexperienced one?

I hope you don't see this as a low blow, because it isn't meant that way; you've said before you have a very bad relationship with your father. How different would your life have been if at 16 or 17, or however old you were when you figured out you weren't straight, you had been able to go to your father and tell him, and instead of being outraged and taking his hurt as a father out on you, he had been able to say 'well, it's not what I want, and I can't say I'm not upset, and I don't approve, but it's your choice. I guess we better get you some condoms and have a talk about being safe.' What if instead of yelling that you can't be gay and still be his son, if instead of telling you not under my roof he had been someone you could go to when you needed to talk? If he had been able to discuss the emotional side of sex, if he had been able to educate you that some people use sex because they want something else - affection, friendship, control, money, status - and that you need to be aware of these things?

I guess what I'm saying is, you get to do better with your daughter than your Dad did with you.

[stevew2]

My daughter had better be at least 18 years old AND living on her own before she has sex with ANY horny S.O.B. or she'll feel the wrath of dad thrust upon her.

Jason, this really got me thinking long and hard. I know at the moment she's your precious baby girl, and the mere thought of any guy having sexual thoughts about her is revolting and you would rip him limb from limb. And I know that you don't want to deal with the idea that one day she's going to be a woman and will love another man who isn't you, and who will share something with him that she could never, and should never, share with you. It's a scary thought all good Daddies go through.

But the point is, one day she is going to grow up, and she is going to be interested in boys, and unfortunately you need to make up your mind long before it happens how you are going to handle it. She's going to decide when she is ready to become sexually active, not you. The choice you have is, is she going to do it by sneaking out of the house and lying to you about her boyfriends, or is she going to do it openly and honestly? Is she going to hide the hurt and the mistakes she is going to make, because she's afraid of how you'll react to her being sexually active, or is she going to be secure enough in your trust and love that she will come to her Daddy for help and guidance? Which is more important - you avoiding emotional upset at having to deal with your baby being a grown up, or her wellbeing and safety once she becomes a very inexperienced one?

I hope you don't see this as a low blow, because it isn't meant that way; you've said before you have a very bad relationship with your father. How different would your life have been if at 16 or 17, or however old you were when you figured out you weren't straight, you had been able to go to your father and tell him, and instead of being outraged and taking his hurt as a father out on you, he had been able to say 'well, it's not what I want, and I can't say I'm not upset, and I don't approve, but it's your choice. I guess we better get you some condoms and have a talk about being safe.' What if instead of yelling that you can't be gay and still be his son, if instead of telling you not under my roof he had been someone you could go to when you needed to talk? If he had been able to discuss the emotional side of sex, if he had been able to educate you that some people use sex because they want something else - affection, friendship, control, money, status - and that you need to be aware of these things?

I guess what I'm saying is, you get to do better with your daughter than your Dad did with you.

Very well thought out post. Id shit a brick if my daughter came home knocked up or worse with aids

[Michigan Girl]

Nice ^^^^^ Ari, very, very well stated...something to think about, Jason!!!!

[Ehwmatt]

My daughter had better be at least 18 years old AND living on her own before she has sex with ANY horny S.O.B. or she'll feel the wrath of dad thrust upon her.

Jason, this really got me thinking long and hard. I know at the moment she's your precious baby girl, and the mere thought of any guy having sexual thoughts about her is revolting and you would rip him limb from limb. And I know that you don't want to deal with the idea that one day she's going to be a woman and will love another man who isn't you, and who will share something with him that she could never, and should never, share with you. It's a scary thought all good Daddies go through.

But the point is, one day she is going to grow up, and she is going to be interested in boys, and unfortunately you need to make up your mind long before it happens how you are going to handle it. She's going to decide when she is ready to become sexually active, not you. The choice you have is, is she going to do it by sneaking out of the house and lying to you about her boyfriends, or is she going to do it openly and honestly? Is she going to hide the hurt and the mistakes she is going to make, because she's afraid of how you'll react to her being sexually active, or is she going to be secure enough in your trust and love that she will come to her Daddy for help and guidance? Which is more important - you avoiding emotional upset at having to deal with your baby being a grown up, or her wellbeing and safety once she becomes a very inexperienced one?

I hope you don't see this as a low blow, because it isn't meant that way; you've said before you have a very bad relationship with your father. How different would your life have been if at 16 or 17, or however old you were when you figured out you weren't straight, you had been able to go to your father and tell him, and instead of being outraged and taking his hurt as a father out on you, he had been able to say 'well, it's not what I want, and I can't say I'm not upset, and I don't approve, but it's your choice. I guess we better get you some condoms and have a talk about being safe.' What if instead of yelling that you can't be gay and still be his son, if instead of telling you not under my roof he had been someone you could go to when you needed to talk? If he had been able to discuss the emotional side of sex, if he had been able to educate you that some people use sex because they want something else - affection, friendship, control, money, status - and that you need to be aware of these things?

I guess what I'm saying is, you get to do better with your daughter than your Dad did with you.

I agree, within reason. I mean, I'd want my son/daughter to feel like they can come talk to me about that shit (yea, my daughter if I have any would prolly never come to me ab such things anyway), but I mean if she's fuckin around at 12 or 13... I ain't gonna condone that. Can't stop it necessarily, but not condoning it. Although if it's a scumbag dude I don't like, if the age gap is ridiculous (i.e., 23 and 17), or if he's just got no future, or all of the above (likely) I will find a way to end it.

Also, even when they get older, 18, 19, 20, and still livin at home between college semesters, it can't be a completely level playing field... i.e., going up to the bedroom, shutting the door, and just fucking in there while I sit down in my living room watching the TV. That's not gonna fly, just too blatantly disrespectful and blurring a lot of authority/respect lines. Basically I'd want them to do what I did and be discrete . At least go to the basement and "watch a movie" or something...

I'm not even a parent (yet... hopefully not for at least another 7 or 8 years), but as a protective brother to two younger sisters (3 and 6 years younger than me), I can tell you it's better to be more concerned about who they are with rather than what they are doing necessarily. If they are with a good guy who looks you in the eye, apparently treats them with respect, has a good head on his shoulders and isn't a loser with no future plans/prospects, and all that other stuff... that's ultimately a lot more important than drawing arbitrary lines in the sand about what age and where to fuck. You just can't possibly stop it.

[Michigan Girl]

Matt, I am LMAO (i.e, very funny), but not because it's silly...you got it down (i.e., you're going to be a great dad)

[Ehwmatt]

Matt, I am LMAO (i.e, very funny), but not because it's silly...you got it down (i.e., you're going to be a great dad)

Thanks, tell that to my lying ex-GF

[Arianddu]

I'm not even a parent (yet... hopefully not for at least another 7 or 8 years), but as a protective brother to two younger sisters (3 and 6 years younger than me), I can tell you it's better to be more concerned about who they are with rather than what they are doing necessarily. If they are with a good guy who looks you in the eye, apparently treats them with respect, has a good head on his shoulders and isn't a loser with no future plans/prospects, and all that other stuff... that's ultimately a lot more important than drawing arbitrary lines in the sand about what age and where to fuck. You just can't possibly stop it.

That's what I'm talking about! You can't stop it, you can give guidelines and you can teach someone.

I flipped out with one of my best friends in High School because I thought she was behaving like a slut. We had a huge fight about it, and in the end I told her it wasn't her sleeping with different guys that I hated, it was that she let all of them treat her like dirt. She was having a rough time at home, and was using sex as a way of feeling better, but the guys she picked had no interest in her other than as a warm body. I ended up dragging her home to talk to my mother, because her mother had the whole 'not while you live in my house' attitude. Mamma had a long heart to heart with my friend, and took her to the health clinic to get her put on the pill where they spotted that she'd already picked up a VD. If that hadn't happened, I still shudder to think where she would have wound up before learning her lesson.

[JasonD]

If I had my way my daughter would wait until she's married. I can't stand the thought of her being sexually active as a minor!!!! I'm a male so I know how their brain works. I know what a teenage boy thinks when they're having sex with you & it sure ain't got anything to do with poetry & cupid. I can't stand the thought of some guy having those same thoughts about my daughter. I can't stand the thought of some guy's greedy little hands on my daughter.

To answer the other questions you all have asked: I was 9 when I realized I wasn't like everyone else at school. I was 14 when I first was with a male. He was 24. I was 23 when I was first was with a female. Yes, I wish things had been different with my dad. As for my daughter "sneaking around behind my back," that ain't going to happen. My radar would be on high alert so she wouldn't be able to fool me. I would know by just looking at her face if she came home no longer a virgin. The rest would be Armageddon!!!

As for my stance on boys, I don't apply the same restrictions. Yes, I know it's a double-standard, but sex ain't the same to guys as it is to girls. A man can walk into a club, asks some girl to dance, buy her a drink or two, leave & have sex with her & then never think of her again. The girl, on the other hand, will wonder why the guy doesn't call in the days that follow. She'll play out the scenario over & over in her head, texting her girlfriends with things like, "I don't understand. He seemed SO into me. He laughed at all my jokes & he said my eyes are beautiful." Women romantisize sex. To women, sex means something. To men, it's just sex---- a physical conquest. It doesn't mean anything until a relationship is established & NO man under the age of 18 is emotionally mature enough for a relationship.

Is that unfair? You bet!!! But it is what it is & I don't want any horny, self-described Romeo breaking my daughter's heart. I'd rip him from limb to limb!!!

[Arianddu]

I would know by just looking at her face if she came home no longer a virgin. The rest would be Armageddon!!!

And that's exactly why she'll make damn sure you can't tell. And believe me, she will. We're better at hiding that sort of stuff than any man could ever be.

[JasonD]

I would know by just looking at her face if she came home no longer a virgin. The rest would be Armageddon!!!

And that's exactly why she'll make damn sure you can't tell. And believe me, she will. We're better at hiding that sort of stuff than any man could ever be.

Not from a gay guy you ain't. We think just like you ladies & we know all the tricks you know.

[Ehwmatt]

I would know by just looking at her face if she came home no longer a virgin. The rest would be Armageddon!!!

And that's exactly why she'll make damn sure you can't tell. And believe me, she will. We're better at hiding that sort of stuff than any man could ever be.

Really Jason, if you really do act like this, and I bet you won't by the time your daughter's old enough to be in these potential situations, you're going to do a lot of harm between you and her and not much good. Intervening to stop her from dating a scumbag loser is one thing, trying to control aspects of her life that are very private and hers to share with you at her discretion just won't do either of you any good. If you want to have rules like no being alone in the dark in my house, no having him over when I'm not home and all that, that's probably fine (if a little heavy-handed by the time she's 17, 18..)... but trying to control her just won't do ya good. It's the classic case of paving the road to ruin with good intentions or whatever cliche you wanna use.

It's not about giving her free reigns to do whatever she likes by the time she's old enough to be attracted to a boy (say 13), but you gotta let go of some things gradually as she gets older...

Besides, don't forget there's always the possibility the kid will be bigger than you and kick YOUR ass if you try anything

Edit: I can almost guarantee you your perspective will change as she grows and matures into a young woman, esp. by 17, 18. It's impossible to fathom the thoughts you're thinking of right now because she is 6 (right?).

[Ehwmatt]

Oh, and let's not be coy here, high school girls/young women are very capable of using sex for manipulative means just like guys... riding the gravy train to nice dinners, free movies, concert dates, whatever the fuck else shallow shit you can think of. You see plenty of women that are twice as shallow as the shallowest men out at the bar every time.

[JasonD]

I would know by just looking at her face if she came home no longer a virgin. The rest would be Armageddon!!!

And that's exactly why she'll make damn sure you can't tell. And believe me, she will. We're better at hiding that sort of stuff than any man could ever be.

Really Jason, if you really do act like this, and I bet you won't by the time your daughter's old enough to be in these potential situations, you're going to do a lot of harm between you and her and not much good. Intervening to stop her from dating a scumbag loser is one thing, trying to control aspects of her life that are very private and hers to share with you at her discretion just won't do either of you any good. If you want to have rules like no being alone in the dark in my house, no having him over when I'm not home and all that, that's probably fine (if a little heavy-handed by the time she's 17, 18..)... but trying to control her just won't do ya good. It's the classic case of paving the road to ruin with good intentions or whatever cliche you wanna use.

It's not about giving her free reigns to do whatever she likes by the time she's old enough to be attracted to a boy (say 13), but you gotta let go of some things gradually as she gets older...

Besides, don't forget there's always the possibility the kid will be bigger than you and kick YOUR ass if you try anything

[**Blood pressure's rising**] I'm a pretty liberal "anything goes" kind of guy, but you all have found my Achilles heal. The ONE thing that gets me going. I just Googled "chastity belt" & YES you can still purchase them!!! Note to self: Buy chastity belt for Emily's 13th birthday. There will be no "studying" in her bedroom & no "watching a movie" in the rec room unless I'm sitting right there with my shot gun. I also ain't gonna fall for that "It's cold in here, dad, we need a blanket to keep us warm" bull. I'll turn up the thermostat to 80 ---!!!!

[stevew2]

If I had my way my daughter would wait until she's married. I can't stand the thought of her being sexually active as a minor!!!! I'm a male so I know how their brain works. I know what a teenage boy thinks when they're having sex with you & it sure ain't got anything to do with poetry & cupid. I can't stand the thought of some guy having those same thoughts about my daughter. I can't stand the thought of some guy's greedy little hands on my daughter.

To answer the other questions you all have asked: I was 9 when I realized I wasn't like everyone else at school. I was 14 when I first was with a male. He was 24. I was 23 when I was first was with a female. Yes, I wish things had been different with my dad. As for my daughter "sneaking around behind my back," that ain't going to happen. My radar would be on high alert so she wouldn't be able to fool me. I would know by just looking at her face if she came home no longer a virgin. The rest would be Armageddon!!!

As for my stance on boys, I don't apply the same restrictions. Yes, I know it's a double-standard, but sex ain't the same to guys as it is to girls. A man can walk into a club, asks some girl to dance, buy her a drink or two, leave & have sex with her & then never think of her again. The girl, on the other hand, will wonder why the guy doesn't call in the days that follow. She'll play out the scenario over & over in her head, texting her girlfriends with things like, "I don't understand. He seemed SO into me. He laughed at all my jokes & he said my eyes are beautiful." Women romantisize sex. To women, sex means something. To men, it's just sex---- a physical conquest. It doesn't mean anything until a relationship is established & NO man under the age of 18 is emotionally mature enough for a relationship.

Is that unfair? You bet!!! But it is what it is & I don't want any horny, self-described Romeo breaking my daughter's heart. I'd rip him from limb to limb!!!

Im sorry you had a fucked up childhood,bottom line your daughter will get horny at 14,tell her the birds and bees, and do a background check on the fucker,and stalk her like I did,and then make sure they use protection ,and make sure his doesnt have a record thats all you can do. I engaged the loser to fight me,got a peace order on him, that cocksucker spent 3 months in jail cause i didnt let up on him. Use the law ,you dont have to rip limbs. Once she turns 18, there aint a fuckin thing you can do

[The Sushi Hunter]

I read the entire transcript on Smoking Gun last week I think. What comes to mind is, the girl's mother....WTF? What parent would let their 13 year old girl hang out unsupervised with some old guy with a fucking camera, I don't care if the guy was a famous person or not. Who would and what would their motivation be to letting their young daughter hang out and drive away with an older man like that? The girl's mother is called and is told she's going to be a little late on the night she was raped. I just don't get it. It's like the mother used the daughter to get Roman's money, or thinking she'd get some "hush" money. Next thing to come to mind was that this took place over at another famous person's house. I start to get the feeling there's a whole lot of this type of stuff going on that we don't know about, we only hear about some of them. Next the girl testifies that she's had sex two other times previous to the one with Roman. She's also taking pills and shit. A 13 year old girl in 77' doing this type of shit? What's up with that?

Seems that Roman isn't alone. We had MJ and Woody Alen issues with underage kids too. And now the French are pissed off cause they probably approve of this type of shit off the record and think it's a dirty trick that the Swiss and American authorities pulled busting this guys balls when he was arriving to get an award. I bet Roman did a movie in France called "Barely Legal - yesterday I was a felony". the French would love the shit out of a movie like that.

[Sarah]

Im sorry you had a fucked up childhood,bottom line your daughter will get horny at 14,tell her the birds and bees, ... and then make sure they use protection ,and make sure his doesnt have a record thats all you can do.

THIS
THIS
THIS

Sorry you don't want to hear it, Jason, but this is the way it's probably gonna be and if you do ridiculous things like force her to wear a chastity belt (I can't imagine that's not considered abuse) or rail on her for messing around, she's just going to act out more and then you've got a real mess. If you educate her about safe sex, she'll have less of a chance of babies or STIs when she does get into that stuff. You don't have to encourage sex by informing her of the options, you can discourage it by letting her know how much it would hurt you to know she's doing stuff before 18, BUT that if she decides to disappoint you, then you hope she's at least acting responsible in regards to her body.

[JasonD]

Im sorry you had a fucked up childhood,bottom line your daughter will get horny at 14,tell her the birds and bees, ... and then make sure they use protection ,and make sure his doesnt have a record thats all you can do.

THIS
THIS
THIS

Sorry you don't want to hear it, Jason, but this is the way it's probably gonna be and if you do ridiculous things like force her to wear a chastity belt (I can't imagine that's not considered abuse) or rail on her for messing around, she's just going to act out more and then you've got a real mess. If you educate her about safe sex, she'll have less of a chance of babies or STIs when she does get into that stuff. You don't have to encourage sex by informing her of the options, you can discourage it by letting her know how much it would hurt you to know she's doing stuff before 18, BUT that if she decides to disappoint you, then you hope she's at least acting responsible in regards to her body.

OR---- I could set her suitcases on the front lawn & change the locks on the door. That would work too.

[JasonD]

Im sorry you had a fucked up childhood,bottom line your daughter will get horny at 14,tell her the birds and bees, and do a background check on the fucker,and stalk her like I did,and then make sure they use protection ,and make sure his doesnt have a record thats all you can do. I engaged the loser to fight me,got a peace order on him, that cocksucker spent 3 months in jail cause i didnt let up on him. Use the law ,you dont have to rip limbs. Once she turns 18, there aint a fuckin thing you can do

Whadda mean, "fucked up"? I had a GREAT childhood. Those were the best years of my life!!!! --- & YEP I had lots & lots of experiences. That's how come I'm so adamant about my daughter. I don't mind saying I was a cutie back in high school & all the girls wanted me. I also don't mind saying I was quite the player too & many Friday nights were spent under the bleachers at some high school football game sweet talking a little sumptin, sumptin outta some girl. I don't want my daughter being played by someone like me..... (like I used to be.)

[Arianddu]

Im sorry you had a fucked up childhood,bottom line your daughter will get horny at 14,tell her the birds and bees, and do a background check on the fucker,and stalk her like I did,and then make sure they use protection ,and make sure his doesnt have a record thats all you can do. I engaged the loser to fight me,got a peace order on him, that cocksucker spent 3 months in jail cause i didnt let up on him. Use the law ,you dont have to rip limbs. Once she turns 18, there aint a fuckin thing you can do

Whadda mean, "fucked up"? I had a GREAT childhood. Those were the best years of my life!!!! --- & YEP I had lots & lots of experiences. That's how come I'm so adamant about my daughter. I don't mind saying I was a cutie back in high school & all the girls wanted me. I also don't mind saying I was quite the player too & many Friday nights were spent under the bleachers at some high school football game sweet talking a little sumptin, sumptin outta some girl. I don't want my daughter being played by someone like me..... (like I used to be.)

So tell her that! Talk to her about how you used to treat women, and how you don't want her treated the same way. Tell her you want her to be with someone who sees her as precious and someone he should strive to be worthy of. Tell her she is good enough and important enough and worthy enough that she will never need to use sex to get affection, and that any boy who can't respect that isn't worth her time. Tell her she is strong and beautiful and clever and talented and she is worthy of respect from any man who wants to be in her company. Tell her that just being friends is enough, and if some boy is telling her it isn't and he needs more, that she should tell him where to jump off, because you know all the tricks that boys use. And then tell her all the tricks. Give her the confidence in herself so that when she is ready and it happens, it happens for the right reasons and with the right boy, and not for all the wrong ones. The more information kids have about sex and relationships, the less likely they are to become active early.

But at the same time, you need to understand that it IS going to happen, and you don't get to pick when. You are better off giving her as much education about sex - and that's the good, the bad and the downright ugly both physically and emotionally - so that when it happens, she can make informed choices. Lay down some rules, sure - any potential boyfriend has to come over for dinner with the family before she can go out with him so you can meet him and get to know what he's like (one of my Dad's); no going out unless you know where she is going, have a number for the place, and there is a set time to be home by that never gets broken (one of my Mamma's); a boy comes over to do homework, homework gets done at the dining room table where everyone can see (definitely one of my Dad's!) But the bottom line - she decides when, not you. Kicking her out of the house because she's having sex? That's not the mark of a loving, protective father, that's the mark of someone who can't handle not being in control.

[JasonD]

So tell her that! Talk to her about how you used to treat women, and how you don't want her treated the same way. Tell her you want her to be with someone who sees her as precious and someone he should strive to be worthy of. Tell her she is good enough and important enough and worthy enough that she will never need to use sex to get affection, and that any boy who can't respect that isn't worth her time. Tell her she is strong and beautiful and clever and talented and she is worthy of respect from any man who wants to be in her company. Tell her that just being friends is enough, and if some boy is telling her it isn't and he needs more, that she should tell him where to jump off, because you know all the tricks that boys use. And then tell her all the tricks. Give her the confidence in herself so that when she is ready and it happens, it happens for the right reasons and with the right boy, and not for all the wrong ones. The more information kids have about sex and relationships, the less likely they are to become active early.

But at the same time, you need to understand that it IS going to happen, and you don't get to pick when. You are better off giving her as much education about sex - and that's the good, the bad and the downright ugly both physically and emotionally - so that when it happens, she can make informed choices. Lay down some rules, sure - any potential boyfriend has to come over for dinner with the family before she can go out with him so you can meet him and get to know what he's like (one of my Dad's); no going out unless you know where she is going, have a number for the place, and there is a set time to be home by that never gets broken (one of my Mamma's); a boy comes over to do homework, homework gets done at the dining room table where everyone can see (definitely one of my Dad's!) But the bottom line - she decides when, not you. Kicking her out of the house because she's having sex? That's not the mark of a loving, protective father, that's the mark of someone who can't handle not being in control.

Ari, I appreciate your input b/c I know you’re trying to prepare me & I do agree with most of what you said. However, you lost me when you wrote, “You need to understand that it IS going to happen.” It’s as if you’ve given up, thrown in the towel & you’ve resigned yourself to thinking, “Oh well, they’re gonna do it anyway so we might as well just get used to it.” I don’t believe that EVERY teenager has sex before they’ve turned 18. Rare as it may be, abstinence still exists. Like I said in an earlier post, I am an easy going, liberal kind of guy who pretty much lets things roll right off my shoulders, but this is the ONE topic that truly gets to me.

I think of all the times that I’ve read my daughter bedtime stories, pushed her on the swing, braided her hair, took her trick-or-treating, played Barbies, watched cartoons, raced her to the mailbox, kissed her boo-boos, saved her from the boogeyman .... & so on & so on & so on.... & I can’t imagine her betraying me in the ONE way that truly matters so much to me. If she wants to be defiant, then let her pick from the list of typical teenage rebellions: smoke cigarettes, run away from home, cut class to spend the day at the mall with her friends, shave one side of her head & color the other side orange & green for all I care!!! --- I just don’t want her having sex!!! It’s the ONE thing that would destroy me. It matters, Ari. It matters to me.

[RedWingFan]

Maybe Polanski should apply for a position in Obama's administration! His "Safe School Czar" Kevin Jennings approves of this kind of stuff!!! You may not have been aware you were voting for it, but all you Obama voters did.

http://sweetness-light.com/archive/safe ... utory-rape

At the president’s pleasure
Monday, September 28, 2009

A teacher was told by a 15-year-old high school sophomore that he was having homosexual sex with an "older man." At the very least, statutory rape occurred. Fox News reported that the teacher violated a state law requiring that he report the abuse. That former teacher, Kevin Jennings, is President Obama’s "safe school czar."

It’s getting hard to keep track of all of this president’s problematic appointments. Clearly, the process for vetting White House employees has broken down.

In this one case in which Mr. Jennings had a real chance to protect a young boy from a sexual predator, he not only failed to do what the law required but actually encouraged the relationship.

According to Mr. Jennings’ own description in a new audiotape discovered by Fox News, the 15-year-old boy met the "older man" in a "bus station bathroom" and was taken to the older man’s home that night. When some details about the case became public, Mr. Jennings threatened to sue another teacher who called his failure to report the statutory rape "unethical." Mr. Jennings’ defenders asserted that there was no evidence that he was aware the student had sex with the older man.

However, the new audiotape contradicts this claim. In 2000, Mr. Jennings gave a talk to the Iowa chapter of the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, an advocacy group that promotes homosexuality in schools. On the tape, Mr. Jennings recollected that he told the student to make sure "to use a condom" when he was with the older man. That he actively encouraged the relationship is reinforced by Mr. Jennings’ own description in his 1994 book, "One Teacher in 10." In that account, the teacher boasts how he allayed the student’s concerns about the relationship to such a degree that the 15-year-old "left my office with a smile on his face that I would see every time I saw him on the campus for the next two years, until he graduated."

[Arianddu]

Ari, I appreciate your input b/c I know you’re trying to prepare me & I do agree with most of what you said. However, you lost me when you wrote, “You need to understand that it IS going to happen.” It’s as if you’ve given up, thrown in the towel & you’ve resigned yourself to thinking, “Oh well, they’re gonna do it anyway so we might as well just get used to it.” I don’t believe that EVERY teenager has sex before they’ve turned 18. Rare as it may be, abstinence still exists.

Just to clarify, I don't mean she IS going to have underage sex, but that she is going to become a sexual person, she's going to have those feelings and one day, unless she is in the tiny minority who stay celibate their entire lives, she is going to have sex. That might be at 13, and I sure as hell hope it isn't, but then again, it might be at 25. The point I was trying to make is that it isn't your decision to make for her.

I think of all the times that I’ve read my daughter bedtime stories, pushed her on the swing, braided her hair, took her trick-or-treating, played Barbies, watched cartoons, raced her to the mailbox, kissed her boo-boos, saved her from the boogeyman .... & so on & so on & so on.... & I can’t imagine her betraying me in the ONE way that truly matters so much to me. If she wants to be defiant, then let her pick from the list of typical teenage rebellions: smoke cigarettes, run away from home, cut class to spend the day at the mall with her friends, shave one side of her head & color the other side orange & green for all I care!!! --- I just don’t want her having sex!!! It’s the ONE thing that would destroy me. It matters, Ari. It matters to me.

And I think it's a good thing that it does matter to you - much better that it does than it doesn't. That's why I think you'll be better off telling her all this stuff. Tell her how afraid you are that she'll be hurt. Tell her you don't want her to grow up too fast. Tell her you don't want some boy treating her the way you used to treat girls at that age (and for chrissake, acknowledge how hypocritical that is and tell her that you wish you hadn't.) Tell her you want it to be precious and meaningful to her. Tell her you aren't ready for her to be that grown up yet. Tell her that it matters to you that she wait until she is grown up, because sex isn't just biology, it's a whole world of grown up trouble waiting to happen.

And take a big breath, shut your eyes, tell her it'll damn near kill you if she does it, but that there is nothing she can do that you can't forgive if she's honest about it. She's going to get too big for bedtime stories, Barbie dolls and trick or treating, she's going grow up and do her own hair and mail is going to stop being interesting, but if you play it right, she's still going to come to you to get her big-girl boo-boos fixed, and she'll come to you for help when the bogeymen of the grown up world are out and she needs rescuing.

(And I think she is a damn lucky little girl, you know.)

[The Sushi Hunter]

If the prosecution feels that a jury will be sympathetic towards Roman or that the jury will have a difficult time reaching a decision, they may decide to just drop the case altogether, especially since it appears the victim really doesn't seem interested in pressing any charges against Roman. Besides, Roman already forked over a bundle to the girl's family when this first came to light back in the late 70's. I don't think the prosecution will want to risk wasting valuable funding to try such a case with so much unknowns with a jury.

[Arianddu]

If the prosecution feels that a jury will be sympathetic towards Roman or that the jury will have a difficult time reaching a decision, they may decide to just drop the case altogether, especially since it appears the victim really doesn't seem interested in pressing any charges against Roman. Besides, Roman already forked over a bundle to the girl's family when this first came to light back in the late 70's. I don't think the prosecution will want to risk wasting valuable funding to try such a case with so much unknowns with a jury.

Does the original case actually need to go to court? My understanding is that he pleaded guilty back in the day and was out on bail awaiting sentancing when he did the flit, so surely they can just use that and sentance him (although he'll no doubt appeal.) Try him for leaving the country when in remand, sure - and no one in their right mind wouldn't convict him on that. Or is there some twist in US law I'm missing? Does the length of time mean that he has to stand for trial again?

[The Sushi Hunter]

If the prosecution feels that a jury will be sympathetic towards Roman or that the jury will have a difficult time reaching a decision, they may decide to just drop the case altogether, especially since it appears the victim really doesn't seem interested in pressing any charges against Roman. Besides, Roman already forked over a bundle to the girl's family when this first came to light back in the late 70's. I don't think the prosecution will want to risk wasting valuable funding to try such a case with so much unknowns with a jury.

Does the original case actually need to go to court? My understanding is that he pleaded guilty back in the day and was out on bail awaiting sentancing when he did the flit, so surely they can just use that and sentance him (although he'll no doubt appeal.) Try him for leaving the country when in remand, sure - and no one in their right mind wouldn't convict him on that. Or is there some twist in US law I'm missing? Does the length of time mean that he has to stand for trial again?

A lot of the laws may have changed since the case in 77' and if so, his lawyers will argue for a new trial. I'm not talking about the main charge of raping an underaged girl. I'm talking about procedures that the police have to go through when collecting evidence and stuff like that. If the information/evidence was gathered in a way that is not consistent with the rules of the "game" today, that could influence the defense to motion for a new trial. They may argue for a new trial anyways knowing that the culture has changed so much since 77' and that there is a strong possibility that some members of a jury will side with Roman this time, for whatever reason, maybe they have a friend or relative that did the same thing, or that they themselves do the same thing and want this guy to go free. Or a typical bleeding heart that feels Roman shouldn't be put through this again since he's gone through it once before in 77' and has had to live in France for three decades. Living in France would be a punishment to me anyways.