I've been wanting to ask this question for awhile....

[Angel]

I never understood the opening doors for women...I do it, but not because it is expected....women strive to be equals but still EXPECT men to do this antiquated stuff...if you are truly equal open your own doors...again, I do it..but out of habit, I guess....I won't give up my seat either...you've got two legs...use them. Again...equality is a bitch...ain't it? you know who gets my seat? The elderly...they've earned it.

Not all women do. I don't expect it at all-when it does happen, it's nice but honestly makes me a bit uncomfortable, I feel guilty.

[AlteredDNA]

I never understood the opening doors for women...I do it, but not because it is expected....women strive to be equals but still EXPECT men to do this antiquated stuff...if you are truly equal open your own doors...again, I do it..but out of habit, I guess....I won't give up my seat either...you've got two legs...use them. Again...equality is a bitch...ain't it? you know who gets my seat? The elderly...they've earned it.

Equality and Courtesy are not mutually exclusive...

[Rhiannon]

I never understood the opening doors for women...I do it, but not because it is expected....women strive to be equals but still EXPECT men to do this antiquated stuff...if you are truly equal open your own doors...again, I do it..but out of habit, I guess....I won't give up my seat either...you've got two legs...use them. Again...equality is a bitch...ain't it? you know who gets my seat? The elderly...they've earned it.

I thought people opened doors because they're nice, courteous individuals who respect other people. I had no idea this was some gender-role-subversion game. But I guess the point of chivalry has missed you completely. What's antiquated is this "you want to be equal, open your own doors" attitude. We are equal. You're just one of those guys who splits hairs because he's lazy or bitter. We do open our own damn doors. However, it's a nice measure of a man's character how he treats women. Which reminds me of another point, the men who bait-and-switch fake courtesy to women. Or, introductory deception as I said earlier. Don't open a door if it's such an imposition for you, would hate for a gal to get the wrong idea.

But go ahead, keep your seat. You have two asscheeks, use them. Would hate for you to have to like, stand, for a lady. Oh the huge manatee.

[Deb]

I never understood the opening doors for women...I do it, but not because it is expected....women strive to be equals but still EXPECT men to do this antiquated stuff...if you are truly equal open your own doors...again, I do it..but out of habit, I guess....I won't give up my seat either...you've got two legs...use them. Again...equality is a bitch...ain't it? you know who gets my seat? The elderly...they've earned it.

Not all women do. I don't expect it at all-when it does happen, it's nice but honestly makes me a bit uncomfortable, I feel guilty.

+1 I don't expect it either. LOL I figure whoever gets to the door first can open it.

That "giving up a seat" thing though got me quite riled a few years ago. Couldn't believe it! Was taking the Ctrain home after work, it was full. Each section holds 4 seats - there was me and 3 other business men seated in section. A visibly pregnant gal got on and was standing there with her preggy belly right there in front of them. I thought, just give it a second one of the these guys will surely stand and give her their seat. Nope, I was stunned. I stood up (heels and all) and gave her my seat. I hope I made their sorry overpaid sitting-all-day asses feel guilty.

[ebake02]

Eric,

Why don't you try online dating, like match.com? It worked for me. That is where I met Linda. We are coming up on the one year anniversary from the day we met in person - Sept. 4th. She moved into my house on Valentine's Day and we got married on the 4th of July.

Online dating used to have this tag that it was only for losers that could never get a real person. I have met all kinds online and there are some great ones. It works really well for shy types like you and me. Because you're able to take your time and figure out what you want to say in emails instead of it all being on the spot. Also, you're able to sort through the profiles and easily decide which ones have the same things in common that you do. It works, give it a try.

Online dating has crossed my mind a lot. I'm still a little hesitant to enter the dating pool because my current living situation is a huge source of embarrassment for me, shameful really.

[StevePerryHair]

I never understood the opening doors for women...I do it, but not because it is expected....women strive to be equals but still EXPECT men to do this antiquated stuff...if you are truly equal open your own doors...again, I do it..but out of habit, I guess....I won't give up my seat either...you've got two legs...use them. Again...equality is a bitch...ain't it? you know who gets my seat? The elderly...they've earned it.

Women and men aren't exactly equal...duh....did you ever notice we look a little different? Women do a lot for men, starting from when they are little, raising them, hopefully nurturing them into the kind grown men you'll hope they'll be? it's just a sign of common courtesy. If I get to a door as someone else is approaching, I hold it open for them no matter who it is. And I think it's nice when other people do the same. It's usually men who do it though, I've noticed. I really never thought I cared one way or the other about that. But I'll tell you. Bike week in daytona beach last year, I have to say, it was kind of nice. Big gruff bikers, one even had a cane to walk with, would not allow us to open a door. At the hotel, at a restaurant...and even though not necessary, nice to see chivalry is not dead completely. I don't see what respect and courtesy has to do with equality. They were raised by their MOMMAS to be respectful of women, no doubt

[Monker]

Name is Eric. I've been posting here long enough, I think it's time I come out of my shell here a little bit. My first three pager too...cool!

Hi Eric. Congrats on the 3 pager.

To answer your question, many women go through a "bad boy" phase at some point. A lot don't mean to, and half the time it takes us a long time to figure out just how much shit we've put up with before we regain a sense of self and move on. A few women can't get out of the cycle or choose to stay in it because of some deep rooted Daddy-issue or other problems. But my advice to you is reevaluate the caliber of woman you're looking for. Are you just assuming because of a bad few that we're all like that? Look for a mature girl who knows who she is and what she wants and is confident enough in herself to recognize a decent guy. You'll be able to spot her by her manners, composure, and grace.

And, those are wise words.

[Babyblue]

Hi Eric, will i said a 4 or 5 page thread.lol That is pretty good it maybe more than the 5.lol Glad to see you are coming out of your shell.lol

[Babyblue]

I never understood the opening doors for women...I do it, but not because it is expected....women strive to be equals but still EXPECT men to do this antiquated stuff...if you are truly equal open your own doors...again, I do it..but out of habit, I guess....I won't give up my seat either...you've got two legs...use them. Again...equality is a bitch...ain't it? you know who gets my seat? The elderly...they've earned it.

Women and men aren't exactly equal...duh....did you ever notice we look a little different? Women do a lot for men, starting from when they are little, raising them, hopefully nurturing them into the kind grown men you'll hope they'll be? it's just a sign of common courtesy. If I get to a door as someone else is approaching, I hold it open for them no matter who it is. And I think it's nice when other people do the same. It's usually men who do it though, I've noticed. I really never thought I cared one way or the other about that. But I'll tell you. Bike week in daytona beach last year, I have to say, it was kind of nice. Big gruff bikers, one even had a cane to walk with, would not allow us to open a door. At the hotel, at a restaurant...and even though not necessary, nice to see chivalry is not dead completely. I don't see what respect and courtesy has to do with equality. They were raised by their MOMMAS to be respectful of women, no doubt

AMEN!!!
And i am from the South & that is the way its done around here.

[Sarah]

I never understood the opening doors for women...I do it, but not because it is expected....women strive to be equals but still EXPECT men to do this antiquated stuff...if you are truly equal open your own doors...again, I do it..but out of habit, I guess....I won't give up my seat either...you've got two legs...use them. Again...equality is a bitch...ain't it? you know who gets my seat? The elderly...they've earned it.

I thought people opened doors because they're nice, courteous individuals who respect other people.

Quoted for truth.

[ebake02]

Name is Eric. I've been posting here long enough, I think it's time I come out of my shell here a little bit. My first three pager too...cool!

But my advice to you is reevaluate the caliber of woman you're looking for.

I'm slowly learning that my standards are way too high. I used to look for perfection and I'm realizing that the ones who fit that description have way too many issues. Met quite a few who were very very shallow, no substance at all.

[parfait]

Name is Eric. I've been posting here long enough, I think it's time I come out of my shell here a little bit. My first three pager too...cool!

But my advice to you is reevaluate the caliber of woman you're looking for.

I'm slowly learning that my standards are way too high. I used to look for perfection and I'm realizing that the one who fit that description have way too many issues. Met quite a few who were very very shallow, no substance at all.

Beautiful women doesn't have to have the intelligence of a mentally retarded jellyfish. There's ugly people with issues and beautiful people with issues, albeit with different ones. Don't feel bad for wanting perfection though

[Michigan Girl]

Name is Eric. I've been posting here long enough, I think it's time I come out of my shell here a little bit. My first three pager too...cool!

But my advice to you is reevaluate the caliber of woman you're looking for.

I'm slowly learning that my standards are way too high. I used to look for perfection and I'm realizing that the one who fit that description have way too many issues. Met quite a few who were very very shallow, no substance at all.

Beautiful women doesn't have to have the intelligence of a mentally retarded jellyfish. There's ugly people with issues and beautiful people with issues, albeit with different ones. Don't feel bad for wanting perfection though

There's nothing wrong with setting his standards high, perfection
will never be found, except, perhaps in the eye of the beholder!! But you're right, everyone has "issues".
Just gotta weed through the rubble/cracked stones until you find a diamond!!

Good thread, ebake, starting it was huge!!!

[ebake02]

Name is Eric. I've been posting here long enough, I think it's time I come out of my shell here a little bit. My first three pager too...cool!

But my advice to you is reevaluate the caliber of woman you're looking for.

I'm slowly learning that my standards are way too high. I used to look for perfection and I'm realizing that the one who fit that description have way too many issues. Met quite a few who were very very shallow, no substance at all.

Beautiful women doesn't have to have the intelligence of a mentally retarded jellyfish. There's ugly people with issues and beautiful people with issues, albeit with different ones. Don't feel bad for wanting perfection though

Came across most of them at parties in college so I guess my judgment wasn't exactly accurate.

[WalkInMyShoes]

Eric, it sounds as if you have some issues of your own to deal with based on some of your earlier comments. Sometimes it's best to take care of yourself and get your life together - then meeting a special person will happen when you least expect it. Don't be desperate or needy - that's not very attractive to most women. I don't think it's wrong to have an idea of what you might be most attracted to, but if you have the right chemistry with someone, she'll be beautiful to you, no matter what you thought your ideal was.

[ebake02]

Eric, it sounds as if you have some issues of your own to deal with based on some of your earlier comments. Sometimes it's best to take care of yourself and get your life together - then meeting a special person will happen when you least expect it. Don't be desperate or needy - that's not very attractive to most women. I don't think it's wrong to have an idea of what you might be most attracted to, but if you have the right chemistry with someone, she'll be beautiful to you, no matter what you thought your ideal was.

Yeah. Never dreamed I'd be living at home again but unfortunately, my income barely covers my student loans and other necessary bills so rent is out of the question. That's why I haven't really tried dating yet.

[Ehwmatt]

Any woman who shuns some basic showing of some old fashioned respect/chivalry such as opening a door is instantly out of the question for me. I'm a traditional guy, my being young aside, and I expect any woman I date to appreciate and embrace that. Yeah, I realize opening a car door isn't difficult, but it still feels nice to do it for a pretty girl I'm on a date with.

[Angel]

Any woman who shuns some basic showing of some old fashioned respect/chivalry such as opening a door is instantly out of the question for me. I'm a traditional guy, my being young aside, and I expect any woman I date to appreciate and embrace that. Yeah, I realize opening a car door isn't difficult, but it still feels nice to do it for a pretty girl I'm on a date with.

I think it's nice, it just feels uncomfortable to me-I guess I'm just used to being the caregiver and not the care-receiver.

[artist4perry]

Any woman who shuns some basic showing of some old fashioned respect/chivalry such as opening a door is instantly out of the question for me. I'm a traditional guy, my being young aside, and I expect any woman I date to appreciate and embrace that. Yeah, I realize opening a car door isn't difficult, but it still feels nice to do it for a pretty girl I'm on a date with.

Matt, my husband did it for me when we date, and still does it. Do I expect it? No. It is his way of saying your important to me and I love you. So I fix his favorite meal, rub his shoulders when he is sore, and make sure he has clothes washed that he needs for work.........etc. So in a way it is a two way street. We meet the needs and try to be kind to one another. I remember one guy saying, give your spouse their favorite candy bar, once in a while, with a bow on it and hide it in his stuff for work. They get to work and there is a candy bar just for them. It is nice to be thought of. Regardless of gender.

[Ehwmatt]

Any woman who shuns some basic showing of some old fashioned respect/chivalry such as opening a door is instantly out of the question for me. I'm a traditional guy, my being young aside, and I expect any woman I date to appreciate and embrace that. Yeah, I realize opening a car door isn't difficult, but it still feels nice to do it for a pretty girl I'm on a date with.

I think it's nice, it just feels uncomfortable to me-I guess I'm just used to being the caregiver and not the care-receiver.

Probably also because you've been subconsciously programmed to think that accepting such "gestures" denigrates you vis a vis the man by modern day feminist thinking.

I mean, don't get me wrong, like anything else, it can be overdone. I'm not gonna open the car door to and from a 5 minute trip to the grocery store to pick up a missing dinner ingredient or something.

[Melissa]

You know, the whole opening the door thing for women, or for anyone really, I pay attention to lots of things that should be courtesy, both ways. And the thing is, I wonder sometimes if the reason men don't do this very often anymore is because I have noticed over the years there are plenty of women who are not even courteous enough to just at least "thank you" when it IS done for them. They're stuck up little wenches who just expect it and heaven forbid they mouth a simple "thank you" for it. And it goes both ways, men too. I open doors for people all the time, or hold them open when needed too, like for elderly and such, or mothers with little ones, especially with strollers because I've been there, done that with my 2 kids. And the fact is, aside from those elderly and moms, I rarely get a thank you back from women OR men when I open or hold open a door. But when it's done for me, I always smile and say thank you, always. So it wouldn't surprise me at all if the reason chivalry has seemed to die off is simply because it's not even appreciated by a lot of people. And I know there are plenty around me who think the same thing. Doesn't mean *I* will stop being courteous or being thankful for it when it's shown to me. But I just think in general these days, a lot of people are just rude and don't care about simple courtesy, and it's all about them.

[Michigan Girl]

Any woman who shuns some basic showing of some old fashioned respect/chivalry such as opening a door is instantly out of the question for me. I'm a traditional guy, my being young aside, and I expect any woman I date to appreciate and embrace that. Yeah, I realize opening a car door isn't difficult, but it still feels nice to do it for a pretty girl I'm on a date with.

I think it's nice, it just feels uncomfortable to me-I guess I'm just used to being the caregiver and not the care-receiver.

Probably also because you've been subconsciously programmed to think that accepting such "gestures" denigrates you vis a vis the man by modern day feminist thinking.

I mean, don't get me wrong, like anything else, it can be overdone. I'm not gonna open the car door to and from a 5 minute trip to the grocery store to pick up a missing dinner ingredient or something.

Then how will we get out?!?! Why does it take two of us to pick up a missing ingredient!?!.

No, I see your point and I agree ...I believe it has a little to do w/insecurity issues, much like anyone w/a chip on their shoulder, so to speak, always having to prove themselves, men and women alike. I'm sure these same people wouldn't have a problem letting a man/woman push them out of the
way of danger, such as a bullet or an oncoming car. I also agree w/whomever said, "if they get to the door 1st, they open it for everyone.".
This is what I do and I have noticed that by time a healthy, able man/boy approaches, they will say, "let me get that." and they take over~that's nice!!
Angel, not directed at you ...I'm a do it yourselfer , too ...I view this as common courtesy by men and women ...it's nice!!

When little boys run to get the door ...*heart melt*

[Michigan Girl]

You know, the whole opening the door thing for women, or for anyone really, I pay attention to lots of things that should be courtesy, both ways. And the thing is, I wonder sometimes if the reason men don't do this very often anymore is because I have noticed over the years there are plenty of women who are not even courteous enough to just at least "thank you" when it IS done for them. They're stuck up little wenches who just expect it and heaven forbid they mouth a simple "thank you" for it. And it goes both ways, men too. I open doors for people all the time, or hold them open when needed too, like for elderly and such, or mothers with little ones, especially with strollers because I've been there, done that with my 2 kids. And the fact is, aside from those elderly and moms, I rarely get a thank you back from women OR men when I open or hold open a door. But when it's done for me, I always smile and say thank you, always. So it wouldn't surprise me at all if the reason chivalry has seemed to die off is simply because it's not even appreciated by a lot of people. And I know there are plenty around me who think the same thing. Doesn't mean *I* will stop being courteous or being thankful for it when it's shown to me. But I just think in general these days, a lot of people are just rude and don't care about simple courtesy, and it's all about them.

This should be the next topic of discussion ...when were these words lost/removed from
the engish speaking language!?!

[DrFU]

Eric, it sounds as if you have some issues of your own to deal with based on some of your earlier comments. Sometimes it's best to take care of yourself and get your life together - then meeting a special person will happen when you least expect it. Don't be desperate or needy - that's not very attractive to most women. I don't think it's wrong to have an idea of what you might be most attracted to, but if you have the right chemistry with someone, she'll be beautiful to you, no matter what you thought your ideal was.

Yeah. Never dreamed I'd be living at home again but unfortunately, my income barely covers my student loans and other necessary bills so rent is out of the question. That's why I haven't really tried dating yet.

You have lots of company in this situation. People live with family for all sorts of reasons-- taking care of parents, rotten economy, ridiculous housing priced in some places. Can't wait to live your life till you have the perfect situation.

[Melissa]

You know, the whole opening the door thing for women, or for anyone really, I pay attention to lots of things that should be courtesy, both ways. And the thing is, I wonder sometimes if the reason men don't do this very often anymore is because I have noticed over the years there are plenty of women who are not even courteous enough to just at least "thank you" when it IS done for them. They're stuck up little wenches who just expect it and heaven forbid they mouth a simple "thank you" for it. And it goes both ways, men too. I open doors for people all the time, or hold them open when needed too, like for elderly and such, or mothers with little ones, especially with strollers because I've been there, done that with my 2 kids. And the fact is, aside from those elderly and moms, I rarely get a thank you back from women OR men when I open or hold open a door. But when it's done for me, I always smile and say thank you, always. So it wouldn't surprise me at all if the reason chivalry has seemed to die off is simply because it's not even appreciated by a lot of people. And I know there are plenty around me who think the same thing. Doesn't mean *I* will stop being courteous or being thankful for it when it's shown to me. But I just think in general these days, a lot of people are just rude and don't care about simple courtesy, and it's all about them.

This should be the next topic of discussion ...when did these words get lost/removed from
the engish speaking language!?!

Exactly!

[Angel]

Angel, not directed at you ...I'm a do it yourselfer , too ...I view this as common courtesy by men and women ...it's nice!!

Yep, that's me to a tee, a "do it yourself-er" but I do open doors for people all the time-I just fee uncomfortable when someone does it for me.

[ebake02]

Eric, it sounds as if you have some issues of your own to deal with based on some of your earlier comments. Sometimes it's best to take care of yourself and get your life together - then meeting a special person will happen when you least expect it. Don't be desperate or needy - that's not very attractive to most women. I don't think it's wrong to have an idea of what you might be most attracted to, but if you have the right chemistry with someone, she'll be beautiful to you, no matter what you thought your ideal was.

Yeah. Never dreamed I'd be living at home again but unfortunately, my income barely covers my student loans and other necessary bills so rent is out of the question. That's why I haven't really tried dating yet.

You have lots of company in this situation. People live with family for all sorts of reasons-- taking care of parents, rotten economy, ridiculous housing priced in some places. Can't wait to live your life till you have the perfect situation.

Rotten economy is definitely my reason but it's still embarrassing though. This shouldn't be happening to someone who's getting closer to 30.

[Arkansas]

http://www.drphil.com/plugger/respond/?plugID=9163
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhlWddAXSRA


later~

[Saint John]

Eric, it sounds as if you have some issues of your own to deal with based on some of your earlier comments. Sometimes it's best to take care of yourself and get your life together - then meeting a special person will happen when you least expect it. Don't be desperate or needy - that's not very attractive to most women. I don't think it's wrong to have an idea of what you might be most attracted to, but if you have the right chemistry with someone, she'll be beautiful to you, no matter what you thought your ideal was.

Yeah. Never dreamed I'd be living at home again but unfortunately, my income barely covers my student loans and other necessary bills so rent is out of the question. That's why I haven't really tried dating yet.

You have lots of company in this situation. People live with family for all sorts of reasons-- taking care of parents, rotten economy, ridiculous housing priced in some places. Can't wait to live your life till you have the perfect situation.

Rotten economy is definitely my reason but it's still embarrassing though. This shouldn't be happening to someone who's getting closer to 30.

Look on the bright side, man ... this is a great way to make sure the girl likes you and not a bunch of "things" you have. You have to forge ahead, life is short. Any girl worth her salt will have no problem with this.

[Triple S]

Yeah. Never dreamed I'd be living at home again but unfortunately, my income barely covers my student loans and other necessary bills so rent is out of the question. That's why I haven't really tried dating yet.

You have lots of company in this situation. People live with family for all sorts of reasons-- taking care of parents, rotten economy, ridiculous housing priced in some places. Can't wait to live your life till you have the perfect situation.

Rotten economy is definitely my reason but it's still embarrassing though. This shouldn't be happening to someone who's getting closer to 30.

Absolutely true - that's very common these days, and you shouldn't be embarrassed by it - you have a good reason and any woman of intelligence would understand that. Now, there's some people perfectly capable of leaving the nest who never do - my sister-in-law finally moved out in her early 40's - and bought the house right next door to her parents! She still spends most of her time (and definitely all of her meals ) there. She's been gainfully employed for over 20 years and the parents don't need her care (not that she provides it anyway, they do everything for her!)