Practical Jokes

[Voyager]

What's the funniest practical joke you have done to someone, or someone has done to you?

[Enigma869]

What's the funniest practical joke you have done to someone, or someone has done to you?

I married my wife. She's still laughing after all these years

[The Sushi Hunter]

When I was about 15 years old, I was shooting off fireworks in front of our house. All my neighbor friends were also there lighting fireworks. So about the time all the works are lit off, my mother hands me one and says "light this one". Without hesitation I run out the center of the street, set the object down, light the "fuse" and run like fucking hell away from it. The "fuse" seems to go out. So I run back out and light it again and run like hell from it. Again it goes out. I run back and fourth lighting this "fuse" about a half a dozen times, each time all my friends are standing with my mother and they are laughing their asses off at me, even some of their sisters are there laughing too. So about the 8th or 9th time the "fuse" goes out, I announce the fucking thing is a dud. I go and pick the fucking thing up and walk over to the light with it which is in front of my house where all my friends, some of their sisters and my mother is standing laughing at me. I get to the light and discover my mother gave me a fucking tampon and I've been trying to light it's pull-string. My mother had told all my friends what it was while I was running back and fourth trying to light it. Thanks mom! What a fucking joke!

[The Sushi Hunter]

**Don't read this post if you suffer from ADD**

My mother pulled a joke on my sister that was sort of funny. Back in 93' I went to see my mother one day and she asked me if had spoken to my sister recently (in the last 48 hours or so). I replied no that I hadn't and I asked "should I have?". My mother tells me that my sister is really pissed at her right now ever since Wednesday evening. Back in 93', my sister and my mother played the California Lottery together every single draw. They'd go get their tickets together and then go home and sit in front of the tv and watch the numbers come up and check their tickets together. My mother begins to tell me the story of what happened a few nights ago. On a Wednesday, my sister calls my mother up about 4pm and tells her that she's not going to be around that day to buy the tickets or watch the draw on TV that night at 8 as usual with my mother cause she's out with her friends, but she will be able to come over to the house later on around 9pm that night. So my mother tells my sister that she will go out and buy some tickets but won't watch the draw on TV. My mother also tells my sister that when my sister comes over to the house later on that night, first to stop off and get the print out of the winning numbers and bring that over to the house so then they can both check their numbers together off that sheet when my sister comes over. So my mother tells me that she had a blank Super Lottery entry form at home and she in fact watched the draw on TV at 8pm. After watching the draw on TV, she then filled in what those numbers were on the blank super lottery entry form and then went to her car in the garage and put the super lottery sheet with that night’s winning numbers in the car on the dash board. So now my sister comes over and my mother tells my sister that she's been looking around for the tickets she bought earlier that day but can't seem to know what she did with them. So my sister in the meantime checks her tickets, while my mother is still looking around for hers. My sister then starts helping my mother look for her tickets because my mother says the winning numbers look a little bit familiar as if she remembers choosing a few of them while filling out her entry form. My mother then tells my sister, oh, maybe they are in the car with the super lottery form that I filled out when I purchased the tickets. She hands the keys to my sister and she goes out to the car to look for the tickets and get the entry form.

My sister goes out to the car and a few moments later comes storming in the house freaking totally out screaming and telling my mother to find those tickets! My mother was able to play it off well, cause my mother is a heavy drinker and by that time was a little fucked up on booze. So my mother didn't really have to act too excited like a normal person would winning the lottery, my sister just figured my mother is fucked up on booze and that's why she's sort of a little bit excited about it. My mother tells me that my sister tore the fucking house apart looking for the tickets, going through all the trash in the kitchen and out in the garbage cans, while also calling up some of her friends telling them that her mother won the lottery and now she's going to buy a new Corvette and a bunch of other shit my mother "promised" to buy her if she ever won the lottery. Apparently my mother let this joke go on for about half an hour to 45 minutes before she told my sister it was bullshit. When my mother was telling me this, she said that when she told my sister it was a joke and all, my sister told her to go fuck herself and walked out of the house and has not called my mother ever since. I then made it a point to go see my sister after my mother told me about it, and my sister was still fucking pissed over it. I think it took my sister a few weeks to go back and see my mother. What a joke that was.

[Voyager]

When my mother was telling me this, she said that when she told my sister it was a joke and all, my sister told her to go fuck herself and walked out of the house and has not called my mother ever since. I then made it a point to go see my sister after my mother told me about it, and my sister was still fucking pissed over it. I think it took my sister a few weeks to go back and see my mother. What a joke that was.

Wow, that would have been a huge letdown.

[epresley]

In the dorm I used to wait until someone would get comfy in a stall, then I would go to the next stall with a cup of water. I'd stand in front of the commode, unzip my pants and start pouring the cup of water into the bowl, ala "pissing". Then I'd slowly start missing the commode, gradually "pissing" all over the floor and into the next stall. Then I'd zip up, flush, and leave. The guy in the next stall would be screaming at me at this point. Was even funnier if they were barefooted or sock footed!!!!! I turn around one time while I'm leaving the restroom and see this head stick out of the stall. This guy yells, "YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!!!!!" OMG, I died laughing in the hallway.

[bluejeangirl76]

I don't pull things on people. I have 2 things against me... 1) a really mean sense of humor which ends with people being EPICALLY pissed off at me and 2) friends who don't have a problem about getting me back ten times worse than what I do. So I don't go there.

The fastest I've ever run in my life was the morning I scared my sister 4 feet off the mattress. Walgreens used to sell a black wind-up alarm clock which was advertised on the packaging as "Loudest Alarm Ever" or something similar. And it WAS!! I set the alarm for the current time, snuck in, held the clock next to her ear and pulled the pin out, setting off the alarm.

Seriously... 4 feet in the air... it was grand. I had to make like Flo Jo in a big ass hurry.

[YoungJRNY]

Ever try the "impossible sit up?"

Let me explain. You bribe somebody into thinking that there is NO way in HELL that they could do an impossible sit up. Usually this works on a dumbfuck jock who thinks sticking his chest out looks tough. Well, my brother had a friend like that, and I weaseled my way into debating him on no way no how he could do the impossible sit up. My buddies, already knowing of this tactic was edging him on and so, he tried. Bad mistake.

The tactic to this is that you lye your victim in the sit up position, on their back. You claim and explain to them why the sit up is impossible. You make it known that with this towel over their eyes, that they won't be able to lift themselves up and that it's a mind over matter thing. Well, you get one of your buddies to stand over the victim with something covering their face, and then, your other buddy, who usually holds the personal as your fat friend with a big, pimply, hairy asshole that sweats uncontrollably. Once your victim is ready for the situp, your fat friend stands over the victim with his pants down in the doggy style position, just waiting for the victim to up right themselves and stick their nose into their grundle with major velocity of the sit-up. This works almost every time and is the funniest thing you could do to someone, let alone humiliating their ego!

Here's a video of your viewing pleasure.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUubBWOIG_A
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJf7hFOF ... re=related

[bluejeangirl76]

Ever try the "impossible sit up?"

And in this lies the difference between men and women. I've never ever seen women participate in this.

Then again, the fat sweaty guy who is designated to offer up his ass is usually aware of exactly why he was chosen. You can't get a women to do that. You can't even suggest they be the one.

[Rhiannon]

Ever try the "impossible sit up?"

It's a power sit-up you goober!

[YoungJRNY]

Ever try the "impossible sit up?"

And in this lies the difference between men and women. I've never ever seen women participate in this.

Then again, the fat sweaty guy who is designated to offer up his ass is usually aware of exactly why he was chosen. You can't get a women to do that. You can't even suggest they be the one.

OooOOOhhhHHH, but that's where you're WRONG sister! I've seen only one girl the victim of this on the internet months ago. I need to find it for proof, but it's even funnier when a woman does it.

EDIT: Read it wrong. No, a woman never performs it.

[YoungJRNY]

Ever try the "impossible sit up?"

It's a power sit-up you goober!

Nope, it's the impossible sit up. Maybe next time we can hoax you into it Rhi, who knows where the alcohol might take us.

[bluejeangirl76]

Ever try the "impossible sit up?"

And in this lies the difference between men and women. I've never ever seen women participate in this.

Then again, the fat sweaty guy who is designated to offer up his ass is usually aware of exactly why he was chosen. You can't get a women to do that. You can't even suggest they be the one.

OooOOOhhhHHH, but that's where you're WRONG sister! I've seen only one girl the victim of this on the internet months ago. I need to find it for proof, but it's even funnier when a woman does it.

EDIT: Read it wrong. No, a woman never performs it.

Right. And if a woman is a victim, it is because some douchetastic male friend has set her up.

[StevePerryHair]

Ever try the "impossible sit up?"

It's a power sit-up you goober!

Nope, it's the impossible sit up. Maybe next time we can hoax you into it Rhi, who knows where the alcohol might take us.

I might have followed her lead with the ass-grabbing incident while intoxicated, but she's on her own with this one!!

[YoungJRNY]

Ever try the "impossible sit up?"

And in this lies the difference between men and women. I've never ever seen women participate in this.

Then again, the fat sweaty guy who is designated to offer up his ass is usually aware of exactly why he was chosen. You can't get a women to do that. You can't even suggest they be the one.

OooOOOhhhHHH, but that's where you're WRONG sister! I've seen only one girl the victim of this on the internet months ago. I need to find it for proof, but it's even funnier when a woman does it.

EDIT: Read it wrong. No, a woman never performs it.

Right. And if a woman is a victim, it is because some douchetastic male friend has set her up.

[YoungJRNY]

Ever try the "impossible sit up?"

It's a power sit-up you goober!

Nope, it's the impossible sit up. Maybe next time we can hoax you into it Rhi, who knows where the alcohol might take us.

I might have followed her lead with the ass-grabbing incident while intoxicated, but she's on her own with this one!!

So you FINALLY admit it, I KNEW IT!

[StevePerryHair]

Ever try the "impossible sit up?"

It's a power sit-up you goober!

Nope, it's the impossible sit up. Maybe next time we can hoax you into it Rhi, who knows where the alcohol might take us.

I might have followed her lead with the ass-grabbing incident while intoxicated, but she's on her own with this one!!

So you FINALLY admit it, I KNEW IT!

That was no admission, I still plead the 5th This was purely the story as it was told to me by spectators.... I still have my doubts

[Rick]

We've pulled some good ones at work. A long time ago we worked on a dump gate. Meaning they only dumped a plane on it if no other gate is available. So we pretty much just played cards all day. This guy Dave walked into the room. He's a pretty hefty guy with a real high voice, so it was fun to get him riled up. We told him that the DFW police had called and someone had broken into his truck. That they were out in the parking lot waiting for him. So, in a huff, he takes off. Back at this time, DFW had this really slow train that you had to ride to the parking lot. It would take 20 minutes to get there. About an hour passes, and we look up and he's standing in the door looking like he wanted to kill us all. It was friggin priceless.

We pulled the oldest prank in the world on the biggest prankster out there. He sat down in a chair and nodded off. There had been this can of shaving cream sitting in the breakroom that had fallen out of a bag, and someone quietly filled his hand with the stuff. We tickled his nose, and it couldn't have worked better. This guy smeared that shit all over his face. We laughed until our sides hurt.

In hub stations like DFW, we move the transfer bags from plane to plane via guys with tractors and carts. Sometimes they'll have two carts full of bags that they'll have to deliver to 10 or 15 different airplanes with two or three carts staged behind them to receive these bags. Sometimes people get so involved in their job that they aren't paying attention to what's going on around them. While someone is unloading bags from their cart, it's always fun to sneak around and disconnect the carts from their tractor and watch the oblivious motherfucker drive half way across the ramp to the next plane, only to realize their carts are still at the previous stop. I've seen people get pretty steamed about that one.

One time we went out to a Szechuan restaurant for a birthday. After we ate, this guy Brian got up to use the bathroom. Just then the waitress came by with the desert cart. We asked her if she could put the plastic desert on a plate and sit it there for Brian. He comes back and he's got the most realistic peace of plastic cheese cake sitting in front of him that you can imagine. Brian, always great with a funny line, takes his fork and tries to cut into it, and says "This shit is tougher than Chinese arithmetic. We all died laughing. One other funny thing he did at that dinner was eat one of those Szechuan peppers. I told him not to eat them, that they're friggin hot. Well that was all he needed to hear and he shoved one of those things in his mouth. I thought he was never going to get enough water to drink.

[The Sushi Hunter]

We've pulled some good ones at work. A long time ago we worked on a dump gate. Meaning they only dumped a plane on it if no other gate is available. So we pretty much just played cards all day. This guy Dave walked into the room. He's a pretty hefty guy with a real high voice, so it was fun to get him riled up. We told him that the DFW police had called and someone had broken into his truck. That they were out in the parking lot waiting for him. So, in a huff, he takes off. Back at this time, DFW had this really slow train that you had to ride to the parking lot. It would take 20 minutes to get there. About an hour passes, and we look up and he's standing in the door looking like he wanted to kill us all. It was friggin priceless.

We pulled the oldest prank in the world on the biggest prankster out there. He sat down in a chair and nodded off. There had been this can of shaving cream sitting in the breakroom that had fallen out of a bag, and someone quietly filled his hand with the stuff. We tickled his nose, and it couldn't have worked better. This guy smeared that shit all over his face. We laughed until our sides hurt.

In hub stations like DFW, we move the transfer bags from plane to plane via guys with tractors and carts. Sometimes they'll have two carts full of bags that they'll have to deliver to 10 or 15 different airplanes with two or three carts staged behind them to receive these bags. Sometimes people get so involved in their job that they aren't paying attention to what's going on around them. While someone is unloading bags from their cart, it's always fun to sneak around and disconnect the carts from their tractor and watch the oblivious motherfucker drive half way across the ramp to the next plane, only to realize their carts are still at the previous stop. I've seen people get pretty steamed about that one.

One time we went out to a Szechuan restaurant for a birthday. After we ate, this guy Brian got up to use the bathroom. Just then the waitress came by with the desert cart. We asked her if she could put the plastic desert on a plate and sit it there for Brian. He comes back and he's got the most realistic peace of plastic cheese cake sitting in front of him that you can imagine. Brian, always great with a funny line, takes his fork and tries to cut into it, and says "This shit is tougher than Chinese arithmetic. We all died laughing. One other funny thing he did at that dinner was eat one of those Szechuan peppers. I told him not to eat them, that they're friggin hot. Well that was all he needed to hear and he shoved one of those things in his mouth. I thought he was never going to get enough water to drink.

Yeah, those little peppers are very hot. I was eating them in a bowl of Pho'. That's the Vietnamese soup. I was picking them up with my fingers and putting them in the pho'. During the course of my meal, I itched one of my eyes with the same finger I picked up the slices of raw peppers. Burned the shit out of my eye for at least half an hour. So not only are those fuckers hot to eat, but will burn the living shit out of your eyes if you do what I mistakenly did.

[bluejeangirl76]

One other funny thing he did at that dinner was eat one of those Szechuan peppers. I told him not to eat them, that they're friggin hot. Well that was all he needed to hear and he shoved one of those things in his mouth. I thought he was never going to get enough water to drink.

Yeah, those little peppers are very hot. I was eating them in a bowl of Pho'. That's the Vietnamese soup. I was picking them up with my fingers and putting them in the pho'. During the course of my meal, I itched one of my eyes with the same finger I picked up the slices of raw peppers. Burned the shit out of my eye for at least half an hour. So not only are those fuckers hot to eat, but will burn the living shit out of your eyes if you do what I mistakenly did.

I did that once. Was VERY careful after that. It was the red pepper that is in Kung Pao... is that the same pepper you're talking about? I accidentally got one of those bad boys in a forkful once. Never did that again. Now I patrol my Kung Pao dishes thoroughly and evict those stupid things before I eat. I can deal with hot food but those damn peppers, forget it. I can't finish if I get one accidentally because they burn up my throat and make me feel like hurling.

[Rick]

One other funny thing he did at that dinner was eat one of those Szechuan peppers. I told him not to eat them, that they're friggin hot. Well that was all he needed to hear and he shoved one of those things in his mouth. I thought he was never going to get enough water to drink.

Yeah, those little peppers are very hot. I was eating them in a bowl of Pho'. That's the Vietnamese soup. I was picking them up with my fingers and putting them in the pho'. During the course of my meal, I itched one of my eyes with the same finger I picked up the slices of raw peppers. Burned the shit out of my eye for at least half an hour. So not only are those fuckers hot to eat, but will burn the living shit out of your eyes if you do what I mistakenly did.

I did that once. Was VERY careful after that. It was the red pepper that is in Kung Pao... is that the same pepper you're talking about? I accidentally got one of those bad boys in a forkful once. Never did that again. Now I patrol my Kung Pao dishes thoroughly and evict those stupid things before I eat. I can deal with hot food but those damn peppers, forget it. I can't finish if I get one accidentally because they burn up my throat and make me feel like hurling.

Yep, those are them. They add a lot of flavor to the food, but you gotta have a leather mouth to eat one.

[artist4perry]

Senior trip. I was not playing practical jokes on anyone, but everyone else was having a blast nailing everyone in sight. Apparently someone noticed I was not in on the "games" and decided to make it everyones mission to "Get Ginger". My friends grabbed me, tied my hands and feet, then put an Ice cubes down my back and told me it was the fish heads they cut up the day before. Then they threatened to throw me in the lake, and did the one, two three swing to make me think they would..........duh, I knew they wouldn't ..........every one got a hearty chuckel let me go and went out canoeing.



...............................................Except..............For ME.


I went back to the cabins. Got everyones undies...........soaked them in water...............stuck them in the freezer where I knew no one would be going until breakfast the next day.

I also knew the guys had to cook breakfast the next day. Next morning came..........One of the guys opens the freezer..................Bra Popcycles..............Panty Popcycles................Girls Screaming............Guys upset..........frozen shorts..................Blow driers at full cycle.....................

My Choir teacher said...........gottem huh.....................I said yup..................And I put a puzzle together with my choir teacher..........Oh, we did not have a dryer there................and it was raining.

[Rhiannon]

Yep, those are them. They add a lot of flavor to the food, but you gotta have a leather mouth to eat one.

Is that kind of like a leatherface?

[Rick]

Yep, those are them. They add a lot of flavor to the food, but you gotta have a leather mouth to eat one.

Is that kind of like a leatherface?

Is that what caused him to look like this?

[G.I.Jim]

I used to work in a warehouse about 10 years ago. We had a janitor who was an old black guy with grey hair,and was about 5'11" and 90 pounds... no joke! Good old Leroy. He was scared of his own shadow! I probably pranked him with rubber snakes and rats at LEAST 3 times a week. This guy would nearly shit his pants at the site of these things that we'd scatter around the warehouse. You'd think he would have learned after I did this for 2 years, but nope... every time was like the first time! He would literaly get so scared that he couldn't speak... I really liked him and enjoyed working with him.

One day I took a chemical heater pack that we use to heat up MRE's (meals ready to eat in non-Army terms), and crumbled it up into a 20 Oz coke bottle. I heard Leroy coming down the ramp and heading outside on the fork-lift, so I put a little water in the bottle, tightened the cap, and threw the bottle next to a bin of tires that was right next to the ramp. You have to understand that this part of the warehouse is outside, but is completely covered with a metal roof... sound is amplified out there big-time!

Anyway, I'm crouched down behind some tires watching as Leroy comes down the ramp, and BOOOOOOOOM!!! That damned thing sounded like a grenade going off!!! Poor Leroy was so scared, he jumped off the forklift while it was still running, and hauled ass out of there! The forklift stops by itself after a few feet, and I honestly think he shit his pants that day. I had to buy him lunch for that one.

[Rick]

I used to work in a warehouse about 10 years ago. We had a janitor who was an old black guy with grey hair,and was about 5'11" and 90 pounds... no joke! Good old Leroy. He was scared of his own shadow! I probably pranked him with rubber snakes and rats at LEAST 3 times a week. This guy would nearly shit his pants at the site of these things that we'd scatter around the warehouse. You'd think he would have learned after I did this for 2 years, but nope... every time was like the first time! He would literaly get so scared that he couldn't speak... I really liked him and enjoyed working with him.

One day I took a chemical heater pack that we use to heat up MRE's (meals ready to eat in non-Army terms), and crumbled it up into a 20 Oz coke bottle. I heard Leroy coming down the ramp and heading outside on the fork-lift, so I put a little water in the bottle, tightened the cap, and threw the bottle next to a bin of tires that was right next to the ramp. You have to understand that this part of the warehouse is outside, but is completely covered with a metal roof... sound is amplified out there big-time!

Anyway, I'm crouched down behind some tires watching as Leroy comes down the ramp, and BOOOOOOOOM!!! That damned thing sounded like a grenade going off!!! Poor Leroy was so scared, he jumped off the forklift while it was still running, and hauled ass out of there! The forklift stops by itself after a few feet, and I honestly think he shit his pants that day. I had to buy him lunch for that one.

Man that reminds me of making those dry ice bombs at work. Same principle. We would take a water or coke bottle, add crumbled up dry ice and a couple of ounces of water, screw the lid on and throw it in a trash can, and in about 30 seconds, it's a big boom!

The guy I mentioned in the story above with the shaving cream made one and threw it in the trash can in the restroom. We heard the thing go off, and a few minutes later, you hear someone come out of there grumbling "Can't even take a shit around here!"

[Michigan Girl]

It was hilarious.

Is this supposed to be funny, or are you crying out for attention?!?!?

[Rick]

.

And the moral of this story.... Don't smoke.

[Andrew]

.

Is this supposed to be funny, or are you crying out for attention?!?!?

Yeah, I agree MG.... I was LMAO thru these posts until I hit this one.

[artist4perry]

One time me & a bunch of my buddies tricked this faggot into thinking we wanted to be friends with him by hanging out with him for about a week. One day we lured him into the boy's restroom under the guise of sharing a smoke. When he showed up for the meeting, we tackled the little faggot to the ground & stuck his head in the toilet.

It was hilarious.

Is this supposed to be funny, or are you crying out for attention?!?!?

Yeah, I agree MG.... I was LMAO thru these posts until I hit this one.

Jason that is not a practical joke.........that is a crime..........literally. I think they meant lighthearted not mean spirited jokes.