Happy Australia Day!
Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 10:44 pmToday is the day we commemorate... actually we commemorate the first time the Pommies dropped off a load of their unwanted degenerates, having decided that despite evidence to the contrary, this continent of Terra Australis had no body living here to be bothered by it.
And we celebrate such an auspicious start by getting pissed, going to the beach, sacrificing meat to the great god Baba Cyoo, drinking a bit more, making things explode, playing cricket, drinking some more to stop the previous drinks from getting lonely, making visitors at home by letting them call themselves Australians once they go through our nationalisation ceremony of eating a Vegemite sandwich with a smile on your face, followed, of course, by the obligatory drinking, and lastly, by doing the most authentically Australian thing imaginable - by having a long weekend in the middle of the week.
It is now 11pm central Australian time. Poor Wombat and Vladan on eastern time only have half an hour left to drink in honour of Godzone Nation (after that, it's just ordinary boozing), I have an hour to get completely legless (and I'm going to make use of what standing time I have left to make myself an onion egg and snag sanger, because the smell of bbq's has been driving me nuts all night) and those lucky bastards in W.A. get another hour and half of celebration time.
So, my friends from around the world, I invite you to join our celebrations for as long as it is January 26th wherever you are, by cracking a tinnie (and no, Jim, that is NOT like cracking a fat, which by the way implies gaining an excited state, not the action of relieving said state) eating a snag or two, insulting your loved ones and friends (the more you love them, the more offensive the insult should be) and telling people outrageous stories that could possibly be true - the trick (which Americans never get right - you always smile!) is to do it with a perfectly serious, straight face, and to never let up; why let the fish off the hook when you've got another 100 metres of line?
For your delictations, my darlings - http://www.koalanet.com.au/australian-slang.html. Go mad - see how much Aussie you can get into a single sentance!
And we celebrate such an auspicious start by getting pissed, going to the beach, sacrificing meat to the great god Baba Cyoo, drinking a bit more, making things explode, playing cricket, drinking some more to stop the previous drinks from getting lonely, making visitors at home by letting them call themselves Australians once they go through our nationalisation ceremony of eating a Vegemite sandwich with a smile on your face, followed, of course, by the obligatory drinking, and lastly, by doing the most authentically Australian thing imaginable - by having a long weekend in the middle of the week.
It is now 11pm central Australian time. Poor Wombat and Vladan on eastern time only have half an hour left to drink in honour of Godzone Nation (after that, it's just ordinary boozing), I have an hour to get completely legless (and I'm going to make use of what standing time I have left to make myself an onion egg and snag sanger, because the smell of bbq's has been driving me nuts all night) and those lucky bastards in W.A. get another hour and half of celebration time.
So, my friends from around the world, I invite you to join our celebrations for as long as it is January 26th wherever you are, by cracking a tinnie (and no, Jim, that is NOT like cracking a fat, which by the way implies gaining an excited state, not the action of relieving said state) eating a snag or two, insulting your loved ones and friends (the more you love them, the more offensive the insult should be) and telling people outrageous stories that could possibly be true - the trick (which Americans never get right - you always smile!) is to do it with a perfectly serious, straight face, and to never let up; why let the fish off the hook when you've got another 100 metres of line?
For your delictations, my darlings - http://www.koalanet.com.au/australian-slang.html. Go mad - see how much Aussie you can get into a single sentance!