MR

Posted: **Wed Jul 28, 2010 8:47 am**

Social relationships key to survival, study says
Having satisfying social relationships may be about as important as not smoking when it comes to your lifespan, a new study suggests.

It turns out that people with adequate social relationships have a 50 percent greater likelihood of survival than people who have poor or insufficient relationships. That means that having good relationships is comparable to quitting smoking in terms of survival benefit, and is a stronger factor than obesity and physical activity.

Researchers looked at 148 different studies that examined the connection between survival and relationships. Regardless of age, sex, initial health status, cause of death, and follow-up period in the individual studies, the new analysis finds that those with stronger relationships have an increased likelihood of survival.

This principle of social relationships aiding survival has even been seen in babies, the study noted. In the mid-20th century, infants in orphanages were observed to have high mortality rates predicted by lack of human contact. Death rates in these settings substantially decreased with changes in practice and policy to promote social interaction.

One theory behind these results is that social relationships may buffer the negative effects of stressors on health, such as illness and transitions and changes in life. Social relationships may also promote healthy behaviors, in the sense that people may directly encourage each other's good habits or indirectly provide good models.

"In addition, being part of a social network gives individuals meaningful roles that provide esteem and purpose to life," the authors wrote.

As seen in the research of Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler, positive attributes such as happiness spread in social networks, as well as negative behaviors such as smoking and obesity. But they also found that people who dropped their friends who gained weight were more susceptible to obesity themselves.

The study on social relationships and mortality appears in the journal PLoS Medicine.

Posted: **Thu Jul 29, 2010 2:40 am**

I believe it.

Posted: **Thu Jul 29, 2010 3:03 am**

This forum is not considered a social network is it?

"In addition, being part of a social network gives individuals meaningful roles that provide esteem and purpose to life," the authors wrote.
:shock:

Posted: **Thu Jul 29, 2010 3:11 am**

I believe this ...laughter works well too!!
I thought this was proven long ago?!?

Posted: **Thu Jul 29, 2010 3:13 am**

if you havent got friends, masturbation works too....

Posted: **Thu Jul 29, 2010 3:17 am**

hoagiepete wrote:This forum is not considered a social network is it?

"In addition, being part of a social network gives individuals meaningful roles that provide esteem and purpose to life," the authors wrote.

Considering forums/social networking are all basically a giant pissing match of self-importance, I guess that's true... :lol:

Posted: **Thu Jul 29, 2010 3:22 am**

great. I'm screwed. I'm a lone wolf. A rebel.

Posted: **Thu Jul 29, 2010 3:23 am**

Sarah wrote:a giant pissing match of self-importance,

I think this this should replace Mount Killicrankie as the title of this section of the board! LOL

Posted: **Thu Jul 29, 2010 3:24 am**

hoagiepete wrote:This forum is not considered a social network is it?

"In addition, being part of a social network gives individuals meaningful roles that provide esteem and purpose to life," the authors wrote.

I think by "social network" they mean the 3-D people. :lol:

And I believe it too. We need social activity and relationships and friends and interaction. I fully believe not having these things causes negative effects on health, well-being, mood and existing relationships. I mean who wants to deal with a grumpy-ass hermit all the time? I have a friend who is like this - she's gotta be one of the most negative people I know. I feel bad for saying it because I've known her since we were kids, and she's a real nice person... but her constant negativity is really off-putting.

And having read this, I think I understand a few more things about her now. She's always complaining of tiredness, headaches, stress (which is interesting, since she's not employed ((by choice, not by default)) and does very little but complain all the time). At one point I spent about a year trying to get her to come out with us and do things, inviting her along with us when going out, and she never wants to. I don't know how to handle people like that. I'd like to see her come out of her hidey hole, but you can't force people that are just determined to be unhappy. I learned that one the hard way more than once. :roll:

Posted: **Thu Jul 29, 2010 3:38 am**

I used to have a lot of friends...............and then I farted. :lol:

Posted: **Thu Jul 29, 2010 3:52 am**

bluejeangirl76 wrote:I have a friend who is like this - she's gotta be one of the most negative people I know. I feel bad for saying it because I've known her since we were kids, and she's a real nice person... but her constant negativity is really off-putting.

And having read this, I think I understand a few more things about her now. She's always complaining of tiredness, headaches, stress (which is interesting, since she's not employed ((by choice, not by default)) and does very little but complain all the time). At one point I spent about a year trying to get her to come out with us and do things, inviting her along with us when going out, and she never wants to. I don't know how to handle people like that. I'd like to see her come out of her hidey hole, but you can't force people that are just determined to be unhappy. I learned that one the hard way more than once.

I'm exactly like your friend.

Posted: **Thu Jul 29, 2010 3:58 am**

Sarah wrote:
bluejeangirl76 wrote:I have a friend who is like this - she's gotta be one of the most negative people I know. I feel bad for saying it because I've known her since we were kids, and she's a real nice person... but her constant negativity is really off-putting.

And having read this, I think I understand a few more things about her now. She's always complaining of tiredness, headaches, stress (which is interesting, since she's not employed ((by choice, not by default)) and does very little but complain all the time). At one point I spent about a year trying to get her to come out with us and do things, inviting her along with us when going out, and she never wants to. I don't know how to handle people like that. I'd like to see her come out of her hidey hole, but you can't force people that are just determined to be unhappy. I learned that one the hard way more than once.

I'm exactly like your friend.

Really Sarah?? Cause I think you came out of your hidey hole when I met you in Vegas....didn't you? And I didn't get that vibe from you

Posted: **Thu Jul 29, 2010 4:02 am**

brywool wrote:great. I'm screwed. I'm a lone wolf. A rebel.

Yeah, but that's by choice I bet, and I bet that makes a difference!! Because if you are HAPPY being a lone wolf, then I don't see how that is a negative. But if you are a lone wolf who WISHES he had a social network, then I can see how life would get negative and sad and then shorter.

Posted: **Thu Jul 29, 2010 4:10 am**

Sarah wrote:
bluejeangirl76 wrote:I have a friend who is like this - she's gotta be one of the most negative people I know. I feel bad for saying it because I've known her since we were kids, and she's a real nice person... but her constant negativity is really off-putting.

And having read this, I think I understand a few more things about her now. She's always complaining of tiredness, headaches, stress (which is interesting, since she's not employed ((by choice, not by default)) and does very little but complain all the time). At one point I spent about a year trying to get her to come out with us and do things, inviting her along with us when going out, and she never wants to. I don't know how to handle people like that. I'd like to see her come out of her hidey hole, but you can't force people that are just determined to be unhappy. I learned that one the hard way more than once.

I'm exactly like your friend.

I doubt that. There's a lot more to her whole deal than is worth going into.

I used to be kind of that way to, and if something bad happens, I still fall into spells like that. But I think we all do that, and that ties in here... I know that this one of the main reasons we NEED people and relationships. I'm lucky enough to have one of the best, most intelligent, caring, fun people I've ever known as a friend - a best friend - she's been though some of my very worst hours with me and I might be in a whole different mindset right now if I hadn't had her around at certain times. And during the rest of the time, all we do is laugh. No drama, no b.s., always straight shooting... it's like that with all of my friends and my family.

I can't think of anything better for mind and health than laughter, fun and love. And I have lots of those things to give, and I hope the people in my life appreciate that about me AS MUCH as I do about them.

Aw crap. Now I'm teary-eyed. :cry:

Posted: **Thu Jul 29, 2010 4:32 am**

bluejeangirl76 wrote:Aw crap. Now I'm teary-eyed.

Hugs bb...

I agree with the social net. It was the first thing my Dad encouraged me to develop when I moved out from home. I accidentally fell into a nest of dramatic fuckery but 'tis a part of life and taught me well about the caliber of individuals I call "friends". Friend is a word I don't just throw out to anybody anymore. I'm acquainted with a lot of people, but keep my inner circle of friends small. And I can't remember the last time I so much as had an argument, my feelings hurt, or had to deal with some of the sociopathic neuroses one can encounter in toxic situations (from others AND from one's self). That in turn will do the opposite of the aforementioned article and push you to an early grave. ANYway... point is, relationships ARE healthy for you IF the relationship and other person is also healthy. But there's some existential/self-awareness involved there so I'll just leave it at that.

Sarah, you're probably in a phase. I think you're pretty awesome, honestly.

Posted: **Thu Jul 29, 2010 4:47 am**

Rhiannon wrote:relationships ARE healthy for you IF the relationship and other person is also healthy.

Indeed. As we all know, a person can be truly good, and loving and fun, but falling into, as you put it, a nest of fuckery, can ruin the best of us. Whether you let it ruin you permanently or not is under your own control, though... that's where the social aspect becomes so important. It's hard to go it alone in any situation. Having people close to you who love and understand is probably one of the most important things there is in the world. Just knowing that even one person loves you enough to stick through your darkest with you can be enough to make the hurt not hurt so much and can help you look at things in a new way. From that, we grow.

Damn. Tears again. :cry:

I need to stop being so introspective when I have reports to run and contrats to generate. :lol:

Posted: **Thu Jul 29, 2010 4:57 am**

When I started working for myself almost five years ago (wow - time flies), my social networks were altered greatly, since I was working from home. I still had contact with some, but not the daily, "in the office" type of interaction. At first, I missed that, but have gotten to where I really enjoy having the solitude when I want and need it.

It's also no coincidence that I become more active socially online around that time, and while I do have more interaction face to face these days, I've come to really enjoy the new friends I've made online. Even though I've only met a few of you, I am hoping to meet more as events allow.

Basically, thanks for letting me float in and around your conversations and groups. I am thankful for the friends I've made online...

Posted: **Thu Jul 29, 2010 5:00 am**

Rhiannon wrote:Sarah, you're probably in a phase. I think you're pretty awesome, honestly.

I second this...

Posted: **Thu Jul 29, 2010 5:04 am**

bluejeangirl76 wrote:Having people close to you who love and understand is probably one of the most important things there is in the world.

Word. But it's not even that much, just the love does the trick. We can't always completely understand the dynamics going on within another person and their relationships. Case in point, my current situation, and that's not even a bad one... quite the opposite. It's just very, um, unique. And I'm having to learn and grow leaps and bounds beyond what I thought I was capable of. But you know how difficult it gets at times for me and though you (and sometimes even myself) can't understand why the circumstance is what it is you're still there. And you have no idea how much strength that gives me. And you're the only person in my life that even knows this is going on! (So chin up to you too, water works, you are by far and away one of the most genuine, caring, trustworthy, amazing people ever.) I say all that to say this, the most important thing in the world sometimes is just unconditional "thereness". That's where the whole thing hitches together. Being there for someone brings more validation and meaning into a life than the biggest professional accomplishment, IMO.

Posted: **Thu Jul 29, 2010 5:07 am**

Rhiannon wrote:Sarah, you're probably in a phase. I think you're pretty awesome, honestly.

Well thanks for saying so! You all met me after I got more social but in high school and early college I pretty much never left my room. I still stress/worry wayyyy too much about everything like bjg's friend and it does have negative health effects. =/

Posted: **Thu Jul 29, 2010 5:07 am**

Well *tear* I have figured out how to get Rhi in the mix more often, y'all ...
we just hafta make BJG cry!! :cry:

Posted: **Thu Jul 29, 2010 5:13 am**

Rhiannon wrote:
bluejeangirl76 wrote:Having people close to you who love and understand is probably one of the most important things there is in the world.

Word. But it's not even that much, just the love does the trick. We can't always completely understand the dynamics going on within another person and their relationships. Case in point, my current situation, and that's not even a bad one. It's just very, um, unique. But you know how difficult it gets at times for me and though you (and sometimes even myself) can't understand why the circumstance is what it is you're still there. And you have no idea how much strength that gives me. And you're the only person in my life that even knows this is going on! (So chin up to you too, water works, you are by far and away one of the most genuine, caring, trustworthy, amazing people ever.) I say all that to say this, the most important thing in the world sometimes is just unconditional "thereness". That's where the whole thing hitches together. Being there for someone brings more validation and meaning into a life than the biggest professional accomplishment, IMO.

Word x2.

Posted: **Thu Jul 29, 2010 5:14 am**

steveo777 wrote:I used to have a lot of friends...............and then I farted.

You may wanna shrink that avatar a little. Then you really won't have any friends :evil:

Posted: **Thu Jul 29, 2010 5:16 am**

I think you are all cool ladies, to be sure!

Now, as for being negative and having friends who are constantly naysayers and pessimistic, I too have suffered from those "issues." Then one day I woke up and had very few friends who have known me since I was a child. I knew something was wrong not with them, but with me. Some of them even told me, "you're depressing me with your negativity." I am sure I did.

Sans depression and other mental health related issues that may plague some of us, I realized no healthy individual wants to be around people who are constantly puling them down. What I did was I looked at my best feature, I am silly and able to make people of all walks laugh whether by my words, my facial expressions or my actions. ( I am clumsy and can fall walking UP steps). :lol:

*snort*!

I think introspection helps, loving oneself works too, but what can also help is an ultimatum to those depressing friends to help them to realize a change in attitude might be better for them in the long-run. Anything else they are going through is something they have to find within themselves.

Social networks is what got me out of my hole and I think I am more open and happy for it, for sure.

L

Posted: **Thu Jul 29, 2010 5:18 am**

Michigan Girl wrote:Well *tear* I have figured out how to get Rhi in the mix more often, y'all ...
we just hafta make BJG cry!!

Nah, she's already put up with enough of my crying for a lifetime, and I love her for it. Unconditional "thereness"... that's how we roll.

You know what... fuck all, that's how everyone should roll. We all need that.

Posted: **Thu Jul 29, 2010 5:20 am**

bluejeangirl76 wrote:At one point I spent about a year trying to get her to come out with us and do things, inviting her along with us when going out, and she never wants to. I don't know how to handle people like that. I'd like to see her come out of her hidey hole, but you can't force people that are just determined to be unhappy.

I don't think she is determined to be unhappy. Maybe she had a lonely childhood, or maybe was neglected or given up for adoption? If kids don't bond well with their primary caregiver as a baby, many times they will have relationship problems as adults. It's a subconscious thing - I can assure you she doesn't like being isolated and unhappy.

Posted: **Thu Jul 29, 2010 5:21 am**

What the hell is this, the frickin' Joy Luck Club? :cry:

Posted: **Thu Jul 29, 2010 5:23 am**

Everett wrote:
steveo777 wrote:I used to have a lot of friends...............and then I farted.

You may wanna shrink that avatar a little. Then you really won't have any friends

Fuck you. Go pick your nose until your head caves in. :wink:

Posted: **Thu Jul 29, 2010 5:23 am**

Don wrote:What the hell is this, the frickin' Joy Luck Club?

:lol:*snort* :lol:

Don't you men wish you had it like us women? I think ya do! :wink:

Posted: **Thu Jul 29, 2010 5:23 am**

Sarah wrote:Well thanks for saying so! You all met me after I got more social but in high school and early college I pretty much never left my room. I still stress/worry wayyyy too much about everything like bjg's friend and it does have negative health effects. =/

Well, who you were then doesn't define who you are now. I've gone through more than a few anti-social periods until I learned that the typical social life for someone my age just was not who I am as a person. Not much for small talk anymore either. I guess after 25 years I no longer feel compelled to fill awkward silence with forced self-centered conversation. Life's too short to spend traipsing through a rat-race of hollow ego to impress people I don't even want to know.

The stress/worry I feel you on COMPLETELY. It's one of my biggest problems.

MR

Social Relationships Key To Survival And Longetivity

Social Relationships Key To Survival And Longetivity