Rhiannon wrote:I just had this conversation a few months back with my 8 year-old half brother. I was taking him to see that Karate Kid remake and while we were in the car talking about space and lizards and other things that fascinate little boys he slides into the discussion that he's getting bullied at school by a 5th grader. (He was at the time between 2nd and 3rd grade.) Apparently this kid picks on all of the lower grade kids and leaves the kids his age alone. He asked me why bullies are mean, what do you say to a formative child about that? I've always believed that honesty is best with kids; it's counter-productive to sugar-coat the world.
I asked him about the kid's parents, seems the father is a non-entity and the mother is one of those sorry types. I did my best (I hope) to explain to him that this bully kid is hurt and confused inside because he's not getting the love and attention at home that a child deserves and needs. So he acts out at school hurting others because that's the only thing he knows. That for him, any attention is better than none and he is trying to seek that out and at the same time the false sense of power he gets from the fear the younger kids have for him makes him feel more in control of his world.
This way, and now I've seen it's worked, my brother's fear of this bully is gone because he's been educated and that gives him the tools he needs to not be afraid of the bully. Of course, there's a side conversation about not taking crap from people in there... but that's another story.
It pretty much remains true no matter what age. Bullies bully for the attention because of a lack of self-worth and love. I just wish more parents could take a pro-active approach in their children's lives and save some of these pointless suicides. Suicides which also come from a perceived lack of self-worth and love.
Your approach sucks. I'll share the male (correct) way of dealing with shit like this. I dated a girl for almost 7 years and helped raise her daughter. When she was seven she came home and said Brody was "grabbing her privates on the playground." This little motherfucker was given
one chance. His parents were informed, the teacher was informed and the principal was informed. Meanwhile, like many times before, Rachel was reminded that
no one, under
any circumstances, touches, grabs, talks about or fucking thinks about your privates. With God as my witness, we practiced the correct way to punch, how to get your entire body into it and which part of the fist makes contact with the target (the first 2 knuckles). That little hillbilly fuck made the mistake of doing it again and was just about knocked out. His eye was a nice deep, dark purple and almost completely shut. Needless to say, we were called into the principal's office and amid threats of expulsion, I took full credit for the proper corrective measure that was used. Like most ovary-toting beings, my ex was pretty pissed ... but she got over it.
That's how you handle bullying/shenanigans.
