Damned if I Do, Damned if I Don't
Posted: Sun Jul 29, 2012 3:01 amA couple weeks back I posted a thread concerning my job, my boss, and time off. I wound up not taking a day off that I wanted because of the way my boss was acting at that time. Basically threatening my job, etc.
Because of this and my stress over having to work all that week, having to board my cats, financial concerns etc, my mom wound up not coming to see me during her vacation week. Every year, she usually spends a couple days with me around July 4th.
So fast forward to today. My best friend from middle school who I haven't seen in 22 years has asked me to spend the weekend with her and to attend her wedding reception. I said yes, but that also means my taking Friday off as she wanted us to go to dinner that evening. There won't be much time for that on Saturday as she will be prepping for her reception.
So I told my mom, and her first words were I am suprised your boss let you off. Which leads in to the insuantion at least in my head anyway that maybe I wasn't telling the truth about my boss giving me a hard time in July. Not so! Based on the way my boss was acting, even though technically he was giving me the day off, I thought it better to withdraw my request. The timing was just bad.
I wasn't planning on coming home at all until Christmas. I really can't afford to, but since I haven't seen my best friend in 22 years and being such an important event, how could I say no?
My boss is letting me off for the trip. I would have asked for Monday off so I could spend time with my mom, but I based on his past behavior I don't want to push the envelope. I can tell she is hurt though. She says she is not upset, but I know my mom.
I understand why she is upset. With the exception of my niece, she is alone. My parents divorced long ago, My dad passed away a couple years ago. Basically, us kids are all she has.
I live five hours away. I make it home maybe twice a year: Christmas and then one other time during the year. I was just home in June for my 20 year HS reunion. My going home in June is what kicked off my boss's whole you have taken too many vacation days tirade. My mom was working that weekend, so we didn't get to spend a lot of time together. Although that time, I did stay through Monday afternoon. We went to the movies late Sunday night and had breakfast together before I left.
I don't have a lot of close friends back home so any time spent is with my mom and my niece. I have noticed though that the few times I have gone home and included an excursion out with a friend she seems very hurt by it.
I don't think she is as upset with me attending the reception, as she is by my not staying over with her. I would, but with my friend wanting to spend time with me on Friday and the reception being Saturday evening it is just not feasible..... I was planning on asking my mom and niece to lunch Sunday before driving back home. so it isn't like I was going to be so close by and not see my mom.
I guess I could have gone and not told her about it, but then if I hadn't she would have been hurt by that too.
Because of this and my stress over having to work all that week, having to board my cats, financial concerns etc, my mom wound up not coming to see me during her vacation week. Every year, she usually spends a couple days with me around July 4th.
So fast forward to today. My best friend from middle school who I haven't seen in 22 years has asked me to spend the weekend with her and to attend her wedding reception. I said yes, but that also means my taking Friday off as she wanted us to go to dinner that evening. There won't be much time for that on Saturday as she will be prepping for her reception.
So I told my mom, and her first words were I am suprised your boss let you off. Which leads in to the insuantion at least in my head anyway that maybe I wasn't telling the truth about my boss giving me a hard time in July. Not so! Based on the way my boss was acting, even though technically he was giving me the day off, I thought it better to withdraw my request. The timing was just bad.
I wasn't planning on coming home at all until Christmas. I really can't afford to, but since I haven't seen my best friend in 22 years and being such an important event, how could I say no?
My boss is letting me off for the trip. I would have asked for Monday off so I could spend time with my mom, but I based on his past behavior I don't want to push the envelope. I can tell she is hurt though. She says she is not upset, but I know my mom.
I understand why she is upset. With the exception of my niece, she is alone. My parents divorced long ago, My dad passed away a couple years ago. Basically, us kids are all she has.
I live five hours away. I make it home maybe twice a year: Christmas and then one other time during the year. I was just home in June for my 20 year HS reunion. My going home in June is what kicked off my boss's whole you have taken too many vacation days tirade. My mom was working that weekend, so we didn't get to spend a lot of time together. Although that time, I did stay through Monday afternoon. We went to the movies late Sunday night and had breakfast together before I left.
I don't have a lot of close friends back home so any time spent is with my mom and my niece. I have noticed though that the few times I have gone home and included an excursion out with a friend she seems very hurt by it.
I don't think she is as upset with me attending the reception, as she is by my not staying over with her. I would, but with my friend wanting to spend time with me on Friday and the reception being Saturday evening it is just not feasible..... I was planning on asking my mom and niece to lunch Sunday before driving back home. so it isn't like I was going to be so close by and not see my mom.
I guess I could have gone and not told her about it, but then if I hadn't she would have been hurt by that too.
