Helping one of the Forum Members...?

[brywool]

Good Morning- So I got a Facebook message from a fellow MR'er that's going through some really rough times. This person is about to be homeless due to the economy and it sounds like some other issues as I look back on their Facebook page. I've always had good conversations with this person, but I cannot afford to help this person on my own.

We seem like a pretty good community here, and I guess I'm wondering- if something was set up with PayPal of something, would anybody feel like pitching in to help the person out? I was asked for a few hundred up to a grand. I'm not able to do do that, but if a bunch of us pitched in, it might certainly help. Since it's all donations, I'm not sure if there's any payback involved, so I imagine this'd be out of the goodness of people's hearts. I believe anything would help...

I messaged and emailed Andrew about this yesterday, but haven't hear back. I may be violating a forum rule for asking, just hate to see an fellow Mr'er down on their luck.

I'm not posting their name because I haven't really been given permission to do that. If they want to come out and explain further, that is up to them.

Is this something that anyone would be up for? From my understanding, it needs to happen yesterday. If we get a good response from this post, I'll be the first one to throw in $100.

[Memorex]

Good Morning- So I got a Facebook message from a fellow MR'er that's going through some really rough times. This person is about to be homeless due to the economy and it sounds like some other issues as I look back on their Facebook page. I've always had good conversations with this person, but I cannot afford to help this person on my own.

We seem like a pretty good community here, and I guess I'm wondering- if something was set up with PayPal of something, would anybody feel like pitching in to help the person out? I was asked for a few hundred up to a grand. I'm not able to do do that, but if a bunch of us pitched in, it might certainly help. Since it's all donations, I'm not sure if there's any payback involved, so I imagine this'd be out of the goodness of people's hearts. I believe anything would help...

I messaged and emailed Andrew about this yesterday, but haven't hear back. I may be violating a forum rule for asking, just hate to see an fellow Mr'er down on their luck.

I'm not posting their name because I haven't really been given permission to do that. If they want to come out and explain further, that is up to them.

Is this something that anyone would be up for? From my understanding, it needs to happen yesterday. If we get a good response from this post, I'll be the first one to throw in $100.

I'll throw in something.

[brywool]

Cool! I'm hoping we get a lot more takers here....

[Rick]

You bet, Bryan, just give me your paypal account and I'll send something to it. That way this person can remain anonymous and you can forward the funds to them. I can't afford much right now though.

[scarygirl]

If you can PM me the information I can pitch in $10. I know that isn't much of anything, but it is better than nothing. I can't do it until tomorrow though.

Good Morning- So I got a Facebook message from a fellow MR'er that's going through some really rough times. This person is about to be homeless due to the economy and it sounds like some other issues as I look back on their Facebook page. I've always had good conversations with this person, but I cannot afford to help this person on my own.

We seem like a pretty good community here, and I guess I'm wondering- if something was set up with PayPal of something, would anybody feel like pitching in to help the person out? I was asked for a few hundred up to a grand. I'm not able to do do that, but if a bunch of us pitched in, it might certainly help. Since it's all donations, I'm not sure if there's any payback involved, so I imagine this'd be out of the goodness of people's hearts. I believe anything would help...

I messaged and emailed Andrew about this yesterday, but haven't hear back. I may be violating a forum rule for asking, just hate to see an fellow Mr'er down on their luck.

I'm not posting their name because I haven't really been given permission to do that. If they want to come out and explain further, that is up to them.

Is this something that anyone would be up for? From my understanding, it needs to happen yesterday. If we get a good response from this post, I'll be the first one to throw in $100.

[brywool]

Thanks, I haven't set it up yet, wanted to make sure people would even help out.
I will see if the person has a Paypal acct setup so it goes directly to them. I can post a link here or on one my websites.
Stand by and thanks.

[brywool]

OKAY:
Go here: https://www.paypal.com/webapps/mpp/make-online-payments
And you want to put styxreo2011@yahoo.com into the "Their Address" box.
You WILL need a paypal account, it's free.

Thanks so much for doing this. It'd be great if we could get some more of you interested in helping out here.
Come on, the person could really use the help.

As promised, I just sent $100 to them.

[Rick]

OKAY:
Go here: https://www.paypal.com/webapps/mpp/make-online-payments
And you want to put styxreo2011@yahoo.com into the "Their Address" box.
You WILL need a paypal account, it's free.

Thanks so much for doing this. It'd be great if we could get some more of you interested in helping out here.
Come on, the person could really use the help.

As promised, I just sent $100 to them.

I didn't send that much, but I sent what I could.

[G.I.Jim]

I can help a little, but not until payday on the 1st. I hope it won't be too late. I am flat-ass broke until then.

[Rick]

I can help a little, but not until payday on the 1st. I hope it won't be too late. I am flat-ass broke until then.

Ok, Jim, what's your Paypal account? We can really only help one at a time.

[brywool]

Thanks you guys. If all of us pony up a little, it'll hopefully help. It's a good thing to do.

[scarygirl]

I can help a little, but not until payday on the 1st. I hope it won't be too late. I am flat-ass broke until then.

Ok, Jim, what's your Paypal account? We can really only help one at a time.

lol

[scarygirl]

I already PM'd this, just in case. I want to help, but am hoping maybe I can send out a money order? I tried going through paypal and don't feel comfortable with them asking for bank login and password information to confirm my bank acct. They say they don't save that information, but you never know these days. I hope you guys understand. I don't want to out this person if they are don't want to be outed. I didn't know if there is anyway of getting an address where I can send the money order straight to or if someone else here with a paypal acct would donate in my place, and I could send that person the ten dollar money order. I would do it today.... I honestly want to help out, just low of funds myself and fear of being hacked...

[brywool]

I got and replied to your PM (it's 6AM here).
I'll see if I can get the address for you. I worry that with their housing situation being the problem if that'll work.
I'll send it as soon as I get an reply. Thanks Scarygirl for helping!

[scarygirl]

Okay sorry. Under normal economic circumstances I would take the risk, but with this being my only acct and stretched myself.. Like I said, I can send it out today!

I got and replied to your PM (it's 6AM here).
I'll see if I can get the address for you. I worry that with their housing situation being the problem if that'll work.
I'll send it as soon as I get an reply. Thanks Scarygirl for helping!

[G.I.Jim]

I can help a little, but not until payday on the 1st. I hope it won't be too late. I am flat-ass broke until then.

Ok, Jim, what's your Paypal account? We can really only help one at a time.

You aren't right Rick.

[brywool]

Scary Girl-
Check your PM.

If anybody else is ambivalent about using PayPal, PM me and I'll shoot you the address. Just don't want to post it here.
With all the members of the forum, I was hoping there'd be a bit more support. Hopefully things'll pick up.

[Everett]

It's for me guys. I came to bry last week and told him my story. Anyway
normally everything would be fine but last month my mom's unemployment
ended and that's what we've been living off the last two years. We both have
been doing jobs that come up every now and then from temp agencies but
nothing has lasted longer from a couple months or a couple weeks. I was just
really nervous last week because an aunt of mine has been helping us this last
year whenever she could and she informed us that she could no longer send
anything and that got me really freaked out. Anyway we've been living out of a motel
the last two years and are month was up last week so that's why i came to bry.
Anyway after litteraly bugging the hell out of her my aunt let us stay with her for
now until something comes up. So that situation has been settled. Again thank you
guys so much for your help. I just didn't want to bore you guys with my problems
and be a more pain in your sides then i already am

[The Sushi Hunter]

You must be young. Well I was homeless before but was for just a little bit of time. My parents kicked me out months after I graduated high school, a few weeks before Christmas to be exact. I lived in a fiend's broken down car until it was time for me to go to basic training and scool in San Diego, CA. This is one of the reasons I don't like to go to San Francisco, because I see all types of homeless people and I remember when I almost ended up on the streets, and I am still afraid that if I lose my job, my wife, my kids, I could end up out on the streets. There is no age limit, it can happen to anyone at any age. I don't like thinking about that because of my past situation. I'd say if your young and facing homelessness, exactly like I was back right after I graduated high school, I'd strongly consider joining the military for one thing. It beats the hell out of walking around having no where to live and eating out of trash cans. I was very happy I joined and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I came out after five years with money for school and a better understanding of what it takes to survive without my parents help. My only regret is that I didn't make it a career. All you have to do is be willing to be disciplined and commit yourself to it. Once your in and getting regular paychecks, if you want to support your mother by sending her money, you could do that too, as I knew quite a few guys who were in similar situations and sent much if not most of their pay back home to help their relatives/family out.

Just food for thought. Good luck and hope things workout for you.

[Rick]

It's for me guys. I came to bry last week and told him my story. Anyway
normally everything would be fine but last month my mom's unemployment
ended and that's what we've been living off the last two years. We both have
been doing jobs that come up every now and then from temp agencies but
nothing has lasted longer from a couple months or a couple weeks. I was just
really nervous last week because an aunt of mine has been helping us this last
year whenever she could and she informed us that she could no longer send
anything and that got me really freaked out. Anyway we've been living out of a motel
the last two years and are month was up last week so that's why i came to bry.
Anyway after litteraly bugging the hell out of her my aunt let us stay with her for
now until something comes up. So that situation has been settled. Again thank you
guys so much for your help. I just didn't want to bore you guys with my problems
and be a more pain in your sides then i already am

Don't worry about it, brudda. We're a big, weird, goofy, really weird, fun, incredibly weird family here. There's no greater purpose in life than helping others.

[Everett]

Thanks rick. Sushi i actually tried the millitary but i guess i'm too big for um. That
was a few years ago i was close to 400ish. Now i'm about 330ish. And the weird thing is
i haven't been trying to loose the weight just all the regular walking i do (lost the car a few years ago) is
slowly taking it off. Thanks for your advice though.

[artist4perry]

Sorry to hear of your troubles Everett. I think this is a good group and most people here care a great deal about each other. I know what it is like to be down on your luck and worrying about how you will get by day to day. I have been a single mom once with my ex refusing to pay child support and barely making over minimum wage with two kids to feed and provide for. I have had to live with my folks because of those hard times. Your in a good group here, and you are very loved.

[Rick]

Thanks rick. Sushi i actually tried the millitary but i guess i'm too big for um. That
was a few years ago i was close to 400ish. Now i'm about 330ish. And the weird thing is
i haven't been trying to loose the weight just all the regular walking i do (lost the car a few years ago) is
slowly taking it off. Thanks for your advice though.

Get a job, get down to 230 and get your own place and I'll send $200. Document with pics.

I hope Andrew bans you for this, but if he doesn't. GO FUCK YOURSELF! Right wing piece of shit.

[Rick]

Seriously, FF? UFB! Would you tell your kid this?

[scarygirl]

FF:

I don't know what all has been going in his life, nor do I pretend to. It is more and more common for young people now a days to stay close to home and to actually live with family as a way of survival. Lots of families are pooling their resources. Maybe he was working a steady job until the recession hit. I don't know how old he is, but is much harder for young people these days. Our parents and grandparents by comparison had it much easier. Families back in the 50s, 60, and I would also assume the 70s were able to live on one income. Now it takes two incomes and then some.

Maybe he has some health problems that have inhibited him from losing weight; maybe he has been on meds for depression or medicinal steroids, both of which can cause weight gain.

Maybe his family has made some poor choices, I don't know. I know I have, and I am paying dearly for them. Not proud of my poor choices, it is what it is. My screw ups; my fault.

I can't say what it is in his case. I will say that a fellow MR member has come here asking for help. I will give what I can and trust that it will be used in good faith. You don't have to give that's your right, but don't kick someone when they are down.

Thanks rick. Sushi i actually tried the millitary but i guess i'm too big for um. That
was a few years ago i was close to 400ish. Now i'm about 330ish. And the weird thing is
i haven't been trying to loose the weight just all the regular walking i do (lost the car a few years ago) is
slowly taking it off. Thanks for your advice though.

Get a job, get down to 230 and get your own place and I'll send $200. Document with pics.

[yulog]

Thanks rick. Sushi i actually tried the millitary but i guess i'm too big for um. That
was a few years ago i was close to 400ish. Now i'm about 330ish. And the weird thing is
i haven't been trying to loose the weight just all the regular walking i do (lost the car a few years ago) is
slowly taking it off. Thanks for your advice though.

Get a job, get down to 230 and get your own place and I'll send $200. Document with pics.

I Guess i took this differently, i see everyone else offering money as the mommies/ grandparents. i see FF's comment as a father/ coach who may come off brash or harsh but may actually be trying to motivate this kid to overcome some adversity. in some ways it would be easy to see that the best thing to happen to this kid was losing his car(he lost 70lbs not even trying) imagine what he could do if he put forth an effort.This guy loses a hundred pounds and his depression will lift, his motivation will increase and he will get a lot more job offers. It's against the law to discriminate against large people but if you haven't been hired yet its very easy to avoid hiring that person in favor of a more energetic person .If everett drops to 230, his life will change in many ways guaranteed.

Some of the best coaches in the world were never considered great people, but they were fantastic at making the people they coached all around better/stronger in all facets of their lives.


Give a person a fish and he eats for a day , teach a person to fish and he eats for life

[Don]

Thanks rick. Sushi i actually tried the millitary but i guess i'm too big for um. That
was a few years ago i was close to 400ish. Now i'm about 330ish. And the weird thing is
i haven't been trying to loose the weight just all the regular walking i do (lost the car a few years ago) is
slowly taking it off. Thanks for your advice though.

Get a job, get down to 230 and get your own place and I'll send $200. Document with pics.

I hope Andrew bans you for this, but if he doesn't. GO FUCK YOURSELF! Right wing piece of shit.

I think you are reading him wrong, Rick. While we can help the guy in an emergency, that can only be a short term solution. When next month ends, then what?
From how I view it, FF is trying to give him a worthwhile goal that will also set him on the path of self reliance.

[steveo777]

Seriously, FF? UFB! Would you tell your kid this?

I might, if were trying to cause change. My father said similar things to me, once he realized that sending me checks from time to time was only a band aide that was enabling me to not take action for my own self improvement. Those were many years ago, but I, at the time, was wallowing in my own misery, overweight and very dependant on what others could do for me, rather than what I could do for myself. One day he said he was sorry but I would need to learn how to make my own way and if I could not produce enough to meet my needs, then, perhaps, I needed to change my needs. He also reminded me of how capable I was and that I could have anything I wanted, if I wanted it bad enough. I went from being unemployed to going into sales. While I might not be rich, I am definitely responsible for my own results and happiness, nobody else.

I read FF's post as being a bit fatherly and empowering. I think he wants Everett to take some action to improve his circumstances. Not slamming him, but I'm sure if Everett is honest with himself and asks himself if he has sincerely done everything in his power to improve his life - the answer would be no and that there are many things he could have done and can do.

Good luck, Everett! When you feel like you have hit bottom, there is nowhere to go but up. Make a plan. There are many ways to solve a problem.

[Andrew]

Thanks rick. Sushi i actually tried the millitary but i guess i'm too big for um. That
was a few years ago i was close to 400ish. Now i'm about 330ish. And the weird thing is
i haven't been trying to loose the weight just all the regular walking i do (lost the car a few years ago) is
slowly taking it off. Thanks for your advice though.

Get a job, get down to 230 and get your own place and I'll send $200. Document with pics.

I hope Andrew bans you for this, but if he doesn't. GO FUCK YOURSELF! Right wing piece of shit.

I think an explanation (a good one) is in order.

[JRNYMAN]

I think you are reading him wrong, Rick. While we can help the guy in an emergency, that can only be a short term solution. When next month ends, then what?
From how I view it, FF is trying to give him a worthwhile goal that will also set him on the path of self reliance.

The first time I read FF's post I was floored! Then I read some of the replies after his and then went back and re-read it and like Don said, it's possible everyone is taking his statement the wrong way. That's the problem with communication without body language, voice tone, inflection, etc. We can use all the emoticons in the world to over emphasize a fact but when all there is is written text, we have no other choice but to interpret it the way our mind tells us to.
Re-read FF's post but add the following 4 words to the beginning and see if its message and tone aren't conveyed completely differently:
"I'll tell ya what,"
Also, there's no malice or hate in his message whatsoever. No attacks on Eve's stature, no insults, no name-calling. Let's give FF the benefit of the doubt before we start tying the noose.

Eve, so sorry to read about your situation. As pretty much everyone else has said already, it's all about you making the necessary change that will turn things around for you. You may think you're doing everything you possibly can to make life better when you're missing one single and sometimes simple thing and when you discover what it is, you'll be amazed at how quickly life will turn around. In the meantime, the most important thing,as I'm sure you're painfully aware, is to stay healthy! That's possibly the most important key in this whole maze life is throwing at you right now. If you get sick, you lose your ambition and drive and when that happens, all sorts of ugly demons start to rear their collective heads.

Best of luck to you and God bless!

Steve