Modern Office Jargon - Good or Bad?
Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2013 4:53 am.
Do you use modern office jargon? C'mon, what's your favourite saying?
Or does it irritate the shite out of you? What saying can't you bear to hear 1 more time?
http://www.theguardian.com/money/2013/o ... ice-jargon
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]
Annual leave - holiday is thought to sound too frivolous
Backfill - After someone has been sacked – sorry, "transitioned"
Close of play - A manager trying to hypnotise you into thinking you are having fun.
Drill down - why say drill down if you just mean "look at in detail"
Expectations
Flagpole, run this up the - mean "give it a try" or "test it"
Going forward - It has the added sly rhetorical aim of wiping clean the slate of the past
Heads-up - now the correctly breath-wasting way to say "I just wanted to tell you about …".
Issues - To call something a "problem" is utterly forbidden in the office
Journey - implications of personal growth
Key - take on key challenges, overcome key issues, meet key milestones, placate key stakeholders
Leverage - "leverage support" means "ask Bob in IT"
Matrix - The matrix is everywhere you look in the modern office. Basically, it's a spreadsheet
No-brainer - "You should not engage your brain in any attempt to argue with it".
Offline, take this - a truly bizarre modern way to say: "Let's talk about it later or in private."
Paradigm shift - owing to the widespread phenomenon of linguistic deflation, it has since become possible to call a much less world-shattering change a paradigm shift.
Quality - we want stuff to be … er, good?
Revert - "is a common way now of promising to do something. What's wrong with Reply? Respond?
Sunset - "We're going to sunset that project/service/version"
Thought shower - "brainstorm" is now discouraged, since it's insensitive to people with epilepsy
Upskill - usually means demanding more work for the same pay.
Vertical - we need to "leverage" the "learnings" across all the verticals
Workshop - "We're going to have to workshop that issue." Really?
X, theory
Yield - Don't ever say that your plan will "give" or "cause" or "result in" great things.
Zero cycles - in response to a request that you do some extra work: "Sorry, I have zero cycles for this." It's a splendidly polite and groovily technical way of saying: "Bugger off and don't ask me again."
Do you use modern office jargon? C'mon, what's your favourite saying?
Or does it irritate the shite out of you? What saying can't you bear to hear 1 more time?
http://www.theguardian.com/money/2013/o ... ice-jargon
[** check out the comments section too **
]Annual leave - holiday is thought to sound too frivolous
Backfill - After someone has been sacked – sorry, "transitioned"
Close of play - A manager trying to hypnotise you into thinking you are having fun.
Drill down - why say drill down if you just mean "look at in detail"
Expectations
Flagpole, run this up the - mean "give it a try" or "test it"
Going forward - It has the added sly rhetorical aim of wiping clean the slate of the past
Heads-up - now the correctly breath-wasting way to say "I just wanted to tell you about …".
Issues - To call something a "problem" is utterly forbidden in the office
Journey - implications of personal growth
Key - take on key challenges, overcome key issues, meet key milestones, placate key stakeholders
Leverage - "leverage support" means "ask Bob in IT"
Matrix - The matrix is everywhere you look in the modern office. Basically, it's a spreadsheet
No-brainer - "You should not engage your brain in any attempt to argue with it".
Offline, take this - a truly bizarre modern way to say: "Let's talk about it later or in private."
Paradigm shift - owing to the widespread phenomenon of linguistic deflation, it has since become possible to call a much less world-shattering change a paradigm shift.
Quality - we want stuff to be … er, good?
Revert - "is a common way now of promising to do something. What's wrong with Reply? Respond?
Sunset - "We're going to sunset that project/service/version"
Thought shower - "brainstorm" is now discouraged, since it's insensitive to people with epilepsy
Upskill - usually means demanding more work for the same pay.
Vertical - we need to "leverage" the "learnings" across all the verticals
Workshop - "We're going to have to workshop that issue." Really?
X, theory
Yield - Don't ever say that your plan will "give" or "cause" or "result in" great things.
Zero cycles - in response to a request that you do some extra work: "Sorry, I have zero cycles for this." It's a splendidly polite and groovily technical way of saying: "Bugger off and don't ask me again."