Famous Roth Quotes part 2

[NUBMAN]

"I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don't need glasses. I drink right out of the bottle."

When they make my gravestone," says David Lee Roth, "it's going to be a cement copy of Huckleberry Finn with a pair of cement handcuffs on top of it.

" Michael is a connoisseur of Jack Daniels...his best line is he likes a woman who knows what she is doing, cause after he finishes a bottle of Jack...he don't"

Viewer Call In --"You put on such an incredible live show with Van Halen and solo and I was wondering because you are so visual how come you never have released a live video, and are you ever going to do so?"
Dave's Reply--- "Well it's Like my Pants.. Its hard to squeeze it all in!"

"These girls will turn your shorts into grilled cheese, man!"

"Yes, I don't discriminate. I've slept with black women and Chinese women. In fact, I've slept with a black Chinese woman."

"You mean that hot dog I just ate was Sammy Hagar?"

"I don't care what Ed Van Halen says about me--all's I know is that Howard Stern and Mr. Rogers like me just the way I fucking am!"

"These two new songs on the "Best Of," for example, should come with a kit including a bong, a thesaurus, and a driver's side air-bag!"

"We took these two little people with us on tour, Jimmy and Danny, as my bodyguards. They're probably 3 1/2, 4 1/2 feet tall. We had 'em in 'S.W.A.T." uniforms. If nothing else, I can wake up in Tunafish, Wyoming, nine in the morning, hung-over; even if I'm miserable, I can look out the door to the hallway and there goes a midget in a bath towel holding the hand of a girl he was with last night--and I know I'm in rock 'n' roll!"

"When you're on the road for nine months a year and you always have these cute little chiquitas running around in their halter tops, it's kind of hard to worry about things like nuclear proliferation."

"After you take out the managers' percentage, the agents' percentage, the money for the roadies, the lighting, the trucks, the buses, the sound and everything, the most I'll probably see as far as money goes after it's all said and done, is...an island."

"Hey, your girlfriend was partying with us backstage before the show, and she had a message for ya: 'mmfp mmf umf fmff mmm.'"

"She leaned over the table at the bar and said to me 'Dave...everybody wants some...would you like some too? So one thing lead to another and another and another and we ended up going to my hotel room. I walked inside the room...I turned off the liiiiights, and sat down at the edge of the bed. And I started to, I started to say something to her as I felt her hand reach across, and grab me by myyyyyyy...she gently, gently but firmly grabbed myyyyyyyy...she grabbed my by my hand [crowd boos]...ALRIGHT SHE GRABBED MY DICK, WHADDYA WANT MAN?! What are you laughin' at Al? You didn't get your dick grabbed all last week, man?!"