In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the
Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli,
Cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red
Vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live
Long and healthy lives.
Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and
Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan
Said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said,
"Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it,
Add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And
Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman
Might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And
Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and
Sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman
Went from size 6 to size 14.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan
Presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons
And garlic toast on the side.
And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following
The repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy
Vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And
Satan brought forth deep fried fish and
Chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own
Platter. And Man gained more weight and his
Cholesterol went through the roof.
God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named
It "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan
Then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's
Food."
God then brought forth running shoes so that His
Children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan
Gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not
Have to toil changing the channels. And Man and
Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue
Light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in
Fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled
Off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center
Into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained
Pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume
Fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And
Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double
Cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with
That?"And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!"
And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into
Cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
Then Satan created HMOs.
Thought for the day ......
There is more money being spent on breast implants
And Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This
Means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly
population with perky boobs and huge erections and
absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
LMAO
