OT: What’s the best way to off a crab?

[Arianddu]

If the cruelty aspect of it bothers you, put them in the freezer for about 10 minutes (true for any crustacean) - the cold will painlessly put them to sleep, and the boiling water will kill them before they wake up. Not sure how that works for steaming though.

[Michael Leigh]

First off, only get crabs from the Chesapeake bay Proferablly from Md, Steam them with a cup of vinegar,and a bottle of beer any shitty beer like Bud or Coors light, Sprinkle Old bay seasoning mixed with Rock salt, and sprinkle some on each layer, make sure the brew is boiling before addind the craps. You can use a turkey fryer but make sure the craps are at least 1 inch above the brew. Steam them for 30 minutes, and fuckin down as many beers / wine as you can while they are steamin,if you what to know how to pick them fuckers out let me know and ill continue. i do it everyweek, during season, i put on some Journey while im eating, i pick Frigas lame shit and betch and laugh and shit. Enjoy. Crap season doesnt come here until mid April. m y spelling might be questionabale once in a while but Im an excpert when it come to crabs. If you boil them you are a retard

Thanks for the information. Yes, definitely tell me how to pick out these fuckers. I just have always picked out the biggest ones that have all their legs and claws still on. So your saying that boiling them isn't the correct way? My wife mentioned that steaming them is the ideal way cause when you boil them, a lot of the flavor is boiled out of them. So you must be right. I may try cooking a lobster though for myself since I don't eat crabs.

And Uno_up....I love crab fishing. In the late 70's, I used to go crab fishing with a friend of mine with his father and brothers. They were Filippinos and we would go crab fishing at night in Half Moon Bay Ca. It was really fun, we'd tie on pieces of raw chicken and toss the net into the water. It's just a waiting game. Every so often we'd pull up the net and there would be a crab or two in it. My friends would tell me that the crabs would actually make screaming sounds when tossed into the boiling water

Blue crab isn't as good as it used to be due to the decades of pollution in the Chesapeake.
I get crabs in the months they are out of season from Louisiana,Texas, or The Carolinas, from various crab houses in the area.
Nothing better then a couple dozen crabs with cold beer or Iced Tea in the summer time!!

[artist4perry]

Hire Ted Nuegent to off him. He isn't squemish at all! LOL! I know what your sayin though, I am with MG, unless it is a matter of survival, I am not too into watching the demise of my food. I know it has to happen, but I guess it is easier if your not lookin into the soft brown eyes................A crab, let him pinch you, then you'll off him no problem! LOL! You can look at it as self defense.......

[Rocker Chic]

If you want a "real" answer (seems you've gotten some comedy already ), it would be to place the crabs in somewhat hot but not boiling water. Supposedly, if you put them into water that is far too hot too quickly, it causes their muscles to tense up too quickly causing tough meat. Steaming is good, too, for seasoning them, but it depends on what you want the finished product to be.

We're from up north, so my mom used to cook them in water, clean them, take off the claws/legs to chill in the refrigerator and snack on later, and toss the cleaned bodies into a pot of spaghetti sauce and let it cook all day. You'd be amazed at how good fresh crab sauce is. Your pasta will thank you.

Debbie

[G.I.Jim]

If you want a "real" answer (seems you've gotten some comedy already ), it would be to place the crabs in somewhat hot but not boiling water. Supposedly, if you put them into water that is far too hot too quickly, it causes their muscles to tense up too quickly causing tough meat. Steaming is good, too, for seasoning them, but it depends on what you want the finished product to be.

We're from up north, so my mom used to cook them in water, clean them, take off the claws/legs to chill in the refrigerator and snack on later, and toss the cleaned bodies into a pot of spaghetti sauce and let it cook all day. You'd be amazed at how good fresh crab sauce is. Your pasta will thank you.

Debbie

You confused me here Debbie...are you saying you snacked on the crab and threw the shells in the spagetti? I'm sure I'm just missunderstanding you, and you mean you shell the crab, and put the meat in the sauce. Work with me here...I'm blonde!

[Rocker Chic]

If you want a "real" answer (seems you've gotten some comedy already ), it would be to place the crabs in somewhat hot but not boiling water. Supposedly, if you put them into water that is far too hot too quickly, it causes their muscles to tense up too quickly causing tough meat. Steaming is good, too, for seasoning them, but it depends on what you want the finished product to be.

We're from up north, so my mom used to cook them in water, clean them, take off the claws/legs to chill in the refrigerator and snack on later, and toss the cleaned bodies into a pot of spaghetti sauce and let it cook all day. You'd be amazed at how good fresh crab sauce is. Your pasta will thank you.

Debbie

You confused me here Debbie...are you saying you snacked on the crab and threw the shells in the spagetti? I'm sure I'm just missunderstanding you, and you mean you shell the crab, and put the meat in the sauce. Work with me here...I'm blonde!

I'm brunette, so I can definitely help...

First, you off the little buggers in a pot of hot water. When they turn reddish, they're ready. Take them out, allow them to cool off, and then rip their backs off. Clean out all that crap you see there. Then rip their legs and claws off, and put them aside in a bag/bowl in the refrigerator to chill out. Any shells accumulated from snacking on these babies later, should be disposed of properly. Take the cleaned bodies and toss them into a pot of freshly made marinara to cook for the 6-8 hours that you would normally cook your sauce for. You will get the sweetest crab flavor you have ever had.

That's how we Italian Northerners used to cook crab, but that Old Bay seasoning totally slams as well. One of my absolute favorite ways of having crab is to go to a place in Seaside Heights and order the Garlic Crabs... Oh, my... That is heaven right there.

Debbie

[stevew2]

If the cruelty aspect of it bothers you, put them in the freezer for about 10 minutes (true for any crustacean) - the cold will painlessly put them to sleep, and the boiling water will kill them before they wake up. Not sure how that works for steaming though.

Crabs dont have fucking brains or feelings, like Iito, Boil the bitches alive

[stevew2]

If you want a "real" answer (seems you've gotten some comedy already ), it would be to place the crabs in somewhat hot but not boiling water. Supposedly, if you put them into water that is far too hot too quickly, it causes their muscles to tense up too quickly causing tough meat. Steaming is good, too, for seasoning them, but it depends on what you want the finished product to be.

We're from up north, so my mom used to cook them in water, clean them, take off the claws/legs to chill in the refrigerator and snack on later, and toss the cleaned bodies into a pot of spaghetti sauce and let it cook all day. You'd be amazed at how good fresh crab sauce is. Your pasta will thank you.

Debbie

You confused me here Debbie...are you saying you snacked on the crab and threw the shells in the spagetti? I'm sure I'm just missunderstanding you, and you mean you shell the crab, and put the meat in the sauce. Work with me here...I'm blonde!

I'm brunette, so I can definitely help...

First, you off the little buggers in a pot of hot water. When they turn reddish, they're ready. Take them out, allow them to cool off, and then rip their backs off. Clean out all that crap you see there. Then rip their legs and claws off, and put them aside in a bag/bowl in the refrigerator to chill out. Any shells accumulated from snacking on these babies later, should be disposed of properly. Take the cleaned bodies and toss them into a pot of freshly made marinara to cook for the 6-8 hours that you would normally cook your sauce for. You will get the sweetest crab flavor you have ever had.

That's how we Italian Northerners used to cook crab, but that Old Bay seasoning totally slams as well. One of my absolute favorite ways of having crab is to go to a place in Seaside Heights and order the Garlic Crabs... Oh, my... That is heaven right there.

Debbie

i would never ever do that to a crab

[SP Fan in Oregon]

This weekend my wife and I got into a little dispute over the best way to kill a crab when preparing it to eat. She tells me to just toss it in a pot of boiling water while it’s still alive. The thought of that freaks me out a little. So instead, I took the fucking thing, set it down on the wooden cutting board, and rammed a twenty-four inch kettle fork straight down through it’s entire body and then held it over the sink by the handle of the fork for a few moments until it’s legs all stopped twitching. I then dropped it into the pot of boiling water. She was right next to me when I did it cause we usually both work side by side in the kitchen when preparing our meals together. She screamed at me about how I didn’t do it the right way and about how it won’t taste right after it’s cooked or something. It wasn’t a big deal to me because I don’t eat that specific crustacean anyways. It’s the venereal crab of the ocean to me.

So is she right about this or does it make any difference one way or the other?

Blue Crab on the east coast is different than Dungeness Crab on the west coast. When I lived in Beaufort, South Carolina at 9 years old my mother taught me how to catch them with aged chicken tied to the bottom of the folding net. I spent hours catching them off our dock. We made a big pot of boiling water and dropped them in. I always loved the Old Bay seasoning and Cajun salt that restaurants cooked the Blue crabs in. They would spread paper out onto the table and bring us a PILE of cooked blue crabs where the whole family would sit around and eat. Those were good times. There isn't anything better than a Blue crab cooked that way. Now I live in Oregon and have been crabbing off the Oregon Coast for years. I use commercial grade traps (not nets), and can catch 20 at a drop. I still use the aged chicken as that works best to attract them. The limit in Oregon is 22 crabs per person per day. The bounty is endless and the crabs are healthy. The normal size is about 2 pounds, and you can only catch the males. When you pull a load of crab up, u have to look at the bottom of the crab and determine if male or female, females go back in the water, and then measure their size. They have to have a shell 5" across the back before you can keep them, point to point. There is NOTHING like a fresh caught crab, boiled and served within a couple hours of catching it in clean ocean water.
I steam a cooked crab to reheat it, but always boil them in very hot boiling, rolling water to cook them. The key is to make sure your vat of water is deep enough to cover their entire body and head as soon as they drop into the water so they die an instant death. If they are crawling and moving about, your water isn't hot enough and your vat isn't deep enough and that is plain cruel. A turkey fryer is the best, deep vat, HOT water...........

I'm just laughing out loud, wondering how I'm writing a story about crabs on a music forum........... too funny!

[Rockindeano]

That's the way you're supposed to cook lobster, too!!!

At work overnight, me and fellow coworker take two losters out of their aquarium(death row for those fuckers), and play broom hockey with them on a warm soapy floor. Well, we did until they installed cameras. I swear I must have been on a 20 game winning streak. I hardly never allowed a goal. I would slapshot those taped up bastards into the sink stand and the tile wall.

[Rocker Chic]

At work overnight, me and fellow coworker take two losters out of their aquarium(death row for those fuckers), and play broom hockey with them on a warm soapy floor. Well, we did until they installed cameras. I swear I must have been on a 20 game winning streak. I hardly never allowed a goal. I would slapshot those taped up bastards into the sink stand and the tile wall.

And some people were appauled over what we used to do to crabs! At least, they were already dead when we did that!!!

Debbie
Who's glad that she doesn't really like lobster...

[mdaemon]

That's the way you're supposed to cook lobster, too!!!

At work overnight, me and fellow coworker take two losters out of their aquarium(death row for those fuckers), and play broom hockey with them on a warm soapy floor. Well, we did until they installed cameras. I swear I must have been on a 20 game winning streak. I hardly never allowed a goal. I would slapshot those taped up bastards into the sink stand and the tile wall.

And I thought I would go to hell for running DC current on dragonflies

[Rockindeano]

That's the way you're supposed to cook lobster, too!!!

At work overnight, me and fellow coworker take two losters out of their aquarium(death row for those fuckers), and play broom hockey with them on a warm soapy floor. Well, we did until they installed cameras. I swear I must have been on a 20 game winning streak. I hardly never allowed a goal. I would slapshot those taped up bastards into the sink stand and the tile wall.

And I thought I would go to hell for running DC current on dragonflies

LOL, dude, here's a story about dragonflies.

I used to have a model train set up. I would catch those annoying sonsofbitches and tape em to the track. I would run the engine right up to em to let them see how they were going to eventually get their appendages ripped clean off After about 5 minutes or so, and about 50 kilowatts of wasted running time up to and away from the D fly, I reversed the locomotive all the way to the end of track, and put the hammer down. It blasted that poor sumbitch about 150 scale MPH and ripped his arms, legs, head and dick clean off. However, that bastard got the last laugh. All his intestines, feet, antlers and guts flew up into the motor cavity and fucked up my engine. After that "execution" that particular locomotive maybe did 45 mph.

[The Sushi Hunter]

That's the way you're supposed to cook lobster, too!!!

At work overnight, me and fellow coworker take two losters out of their aquarium(death row for those fuckers), and play broom hockey with them on a warm soapy floor. Well, we did until they installed cameras. I swear I must have been on a 20 game winning streak. I hardly never allowed a goal. I would slapshot those taped up bastards into the sink stand and the tile wall.

And I thought I would go to hell for running DC current on dragonflies

LOL, dude, here's a story about dragonflies.

I used to have a model train set up. I would catch those annoying sonsofbitches and tape em to the track. I would run the engine right up to em to let them see how they were going to eventually get their appendages ripped clean off After about 5 minutes or so, and about 50 kilowatts of wasted running time up to and away from the D fly, I reversed the locomotive all the way to the end of track, and put the hammer down. It blasted that poor sumbitch about 150 scale MPH and ripped his arms, legs, head and dick clean off. However, that bastard got the last laugh. All his intestines, feet, antlers and guts flew up into the motor cavity and fucked up my engine. After that "execution" that particular locomotive maybe did 45 mph.

I had a race track that I used to run bugs over on. That was cool cause I would do a burn out on the bug in question.

[S2M]

To answer the question: Be proactive. Don't fuck a dirty vag.....have we learned nothing here.

And if you must, wear your jimmy hat.....

[Deb]

Wow, the thread has gone from cooking crab to pig titties - gotta love this place!

[SP Fan in Oregon]

That's the way you're supposed to cook lobster, too!!!

At work overnight, me and fellow coworker take two losters out of their aquarium(death row for those fuckers), and play broom hockey with them on a warm soapy floor. Well, we did until they installed cameras. I swear I must have been on a 20 game winning streak. I hardly never allowed a goal. I would slapshot those taped up bastards into the sink stand and the tile wall.

And I thought I would go to hell for running DC current on dragonflies

LOL, dude, here's a story about dragonflies.

I used to have a model train set up. I would catch those annoying sonsofbitches and tape em to the track. I would run the engine right up to em to let them see how they were going to eventually get their appendages ripped clean off After about 5 minutes or so, and about 50 kilowatts of wasted running time up to and away from the D fly, I reversed the locomotive all the way to the end of track, and put the hammer down. It blasted that poor sumbitch about 150 scale MPH and ripped his arms, legs, head and dick clean off. However, that bastard got the last laugh. All his intestines, feet, antlers and guts flew up into the motor cavity and fucked up my engine. After that "execution" that particular locomotive maybe did 45 mph.

When I lived on Oahu, everytime it rained the poisonous BUFO Frogs would come out by the hundreds into the street in my subdivision. (They don't tell the Tourists about that now, do they?)
These frogs have poison that oozes out of their back and if a child touches them and puts their hand in their mouth, they could die. Dogs would die all the time from mouthing the frogs. Mind you these are not little frogs. These suckers are the size of a tortoise, about 6 inches across and 5 inches high with warty things on their back. Anyway, as kids it was our job to put gloves on and gather up as many bufo frogs as we could when it rained and put them in trash barrels. All the teens in the neighborhood would do this every time it rained, as it was our parents plan to erradicate the damn things and they only come out into the street when it rains. The parents would pour gasoline on all the frogs in the trash cans and then set them on fire. That is how they would kill them. THE SPCA would not have been happy about that............... Anyway, one day one of the trash cans full of burning frogs got tipped over and there were at least 50 frogs jumping down the street on fire. It was quite a sight burned into my psyche, and probably responsible for turning me into a LOON.........

I had a race track that I used to run bugs over on. That was cool cause I would do a burn out on the bug in question.

[Rockindeano]

I had a race track that I used to run bugs over on. That was cool cause I would do a burn out on the bug in question.

I was and have always been a train guy(until I heard Born to Run and Thunder Road ), and used to run over matchbox cars with my freight trains...I have serious issues.

[S2M]

I had a race track that I used to run bugs over on. That was cool cause I would do a burn out on the bug in question.

I was and have always been a train guy(until I heard Born to Run and Thunder Road ), and used to run over matchbox cars with my freight trains...I have serious issues.

You think? Way to go out on a limb, dude......

[Rockindeano]

That's the way you're supposed to cook lobster, too!!!

At work overnight, me and fellow coworker take two losters out of their aquarium(death row for those fuckers), and play broom hockey with them on a warm soapy floor. Well, we did until they installed cameras. I swear I must have been on a 20 game winning streak. I hardly never allowed a goal. I would slapshot those taped up bastards into the sink stand and the tile wall.

And I thought I would go to hell for running DC current on dragonflies

LOL, dude, here's a story about dragonflies.

I used to have a model train set up. I would catch those annoying sonsofbitches and tape em to the track. I would run the engine right up to em to let them see how they were going to eventually get their appendages ripped clean off After about 5 minutes or so, and about 50 kilowatts of wasted running time up to and away from the D fly, I reversed the locomotive all the way to the end of track, and put the hammer down. It blasted that poor sumbitch about 150 scale MPH and ripped his arms, legs, head and dick clean off. However, that bastard got the last laugh. All his intestines, feet, antlers and guts flew up into the motor cavity and fucked up my engine. After that "execution" that particular locomotive maybe did 45 mph.

When I lived on Oahu, everytime it rained the poisonous BUFO Frogs would come out by the hundreds into the street in my subdivision. (They don't tell the Tourists about that now, do they?)
These frogs have poison that oozes out of their back and if a child touches them and puts their hand in their mouth, they could die. Dogs would die all the time from mouthing the frogs. Mind you these are not little frogs. These suckers are the size of a tortoise, about 6 inches across and 5 inches high with warty things on their back. Anyway, as kids it was our job to put gloves on and gather up as many bufo frogs as we could when it rained and put them in trash barrels. All the teens in the neighborhood would do this every time it rained, as it was our parents plan to erradicate the damn things and they only come out into the street when it rains. The parents would pour gasoline on all the frogs in the trash cans and then set them on fire. That is how they would kill them. THE SPCA would not have been happy about that............... Anyway, one day one of the trash cans full of burning frogs got tipped over and there were at least 50 frogs jumping down the street on fire. It was quite a sight burned into my psyche, and probably responsible for turning me into a LOON.........

I had a race track that I used to run bugs over on. That was cool cause I would do a burn out on the bug in question.

Helluva post there Cum Laude

[The Sushi Hunter]

That's the way you're supposed to cook lobster, too!!!

At work overnight, me and fellow coworker take two losters out of their aquarium(death row for those fuckers), and play broom hockey with them on a warm soapy floor. Well, we did until they installed cameras. I swear I must have been on a 20 game winning streak. I hardly never allowed a goal. I would slapshot those taped up bastards into the sink stand and the tile wall.

And I thought I would go to hell for running DC current on dragonflies

LOL, dude, here's a story about dragonflies.

I used to have a model train set up. I would catch those annoying sonsofbitches and tape em to the track. I would run the engine right up to em to let them see how they were going to eventually get their appendages ripped clean off After about 5 minutes or so, and about 50 kilowatts of wasted running time up to and away from the D fly, I reversed the locomotive all the way to the end of track, and put the hammer down. It blasted that poor sumbitch about 150 scale MPH and ripped his arms, legs, head and dick clean off. However, that bastard got the last laugh. All his intestines, feet, antlers and guts flew up into the motor cavity and fucked up my engine. After that "execution" that particular locomotive maybe did 45 mph.

When I lived on Oahu, everytime it rained the poisonous BUFO Frogs would come out by the hundreds into the street in my subdivision. (They don't tell the Tourists about that now, do they?)
These frogs have poison that oozes out of their back and if a child touches them and puts their hand in their mouth, they could die. Dogs would die all the time from mouthing the frogs. Mind you these are not little frogs. These suckers are the size of a tortoise, about 6 inches across and 5 inches high with warty things on their back. Anyway, as kids it was our job to put gloves on and gather up as many bufo frogs as we could when it rained and put them in trash barrels. All the teens in the neighborhood would do this every time it rained, as it was our parents plan to erradicate the damn things and they only come out into the street when it rains. The parents would pour gasoline on all the frogs in the trash cans and then set them on fire. That is how they would kill them. THE SPCA would not have been happy about that............... Anyway, one day one of the trash cans full of burning frogs got tipped over and there were at least 50 frogs jumping down the street on fire. It was quite a sight burned into my psyche, and probably responsible for turning me into a LOON.........

I had a race track that I used to run bugs over on. That was cool cause I would do a burn out on the bug in question.

Helluva post there Cum Laude

I had a train set also, but I loved the cars for their speed. I'd also put a little oil on the track and the cars would go sideways in the turns.

[Michigan Girl]

This weekend my wife and I got into a little dispute over the best way to kill a crab when preparing it to eat. She tells me to just toss it in a pot of boiling water while it’s still alive. The thought of that freaks me out a little. So instead, I took the fucking thing, set it down on the wooden cutting board, and rammed a twenty-four inch kettle fork straight down through it’s entire body and then held it over the sink for a few moments until it’s legs all stopped twitching. I then dropped it into the pot of boiling water. She was right next to me when I did it cause we usually both work side by side in the kitchen when preparing our meals together. She screamed at me about how I didn’t do it the right way and about how it won’t taste right after it’s cooked or something. It wasn’t a big deal to me because I don’t eat that specific crustacean anyways. It’s the venereal crab of the ocean to me.

So is she right about this or does it make any difference one way or the other?

That's the way you're supposed to cook lobster, too!!! But once I hear the lobster
clanging around in the pot of boiling water, fighting for their lives I cannot eat them....
Bring it to me dead or not at all.....I don't want to see my food smiling and happy before I see
it on my plate!!!

you can cut the claws off and then you can toss it in a pot of boiling water. problem solved

seriously though, I always put a live crab in a pot of boiling water and I never paid attention to the clanging around fighting for dear life thingie. now that you mentioned it though, I don't think I can cook a crab that way again. I may also not be able to eat crab for some time. Thanks MG

So sorry....I see we are retards for boiling them anyway!!!!

[The Sushi Hunter]

This weekend my wife and I got into a little dispute over the best way to kill a crab when preparing it to eat. She tells me to just toss it in a pot of boiling water while it’s still alive. The thought of that freaks me out a little. So instead, I took the fucking thing, set it down on the wooden cutting board, and rammed a twenty-four inch kettle fork straight down through it’s entire body and then held it over the sink for a few moments until it’s legs all stopped twitching. I then dropped it into the pot of boiling water. She was right next to me when I did it cause we usually both work side by side in the kitchen when preparing our meals together. She screamed at me about how I didn’t do it the right way and about how it won’t taste right after it’s cooked or something. It wasn’t a big deal to me because I don’t eat that specific crustacean anyways. It’s the venereal crab of the ocean to me.

So is she right about this or does it make any difference one way or the other?

That's the way you're supposed to cook lobster, too!!! But once I hear the lobster
clanging around in the pot of boiling water, fighting for their lives I cannot eat them....
Bring it to me dead or not at all.....I don't want to see my food smiling and happy before I see
it on my plate!!!

you can cut the claws off and then you can toss it in a pot of boiling water. problem solved

seriously though, I always put a live crab in a pot of boiling water and I never paid attention to the clanging around fighting for dear life thingie. now that you mentioned it though, I don't think I can cook a crab that way again. I may also not be able to eat crab for some time. Thanks MG

So sorry....I see we are retards for boiling them anyway!!!!

Seems the majority of the people boil the piss out of them....literally. Was at Fisherman's Wharf up in San Francisco today with the wife, they were boiling the fuckers everywhere.....maybe cause it's the fastest way to get the job done, I don't really know. But I will try and steam one this weekend and I'll ask my wife after she eats it if it made a difference how it was done.

BTW - I watched my wife eat an entire crab to her self and it's pretty interesting that the only two things she didn't eat were the shell and gills. She started with the legs and then popped open the body and spooned out the light brown goo and then ate every piece inside there. There was a bunch of what looked like yellow broth in the shell and she put that up to her mouth like a cup of soup and sipped that down as well. Amazing cause I wouldn't touch that fucking shit. Even our cat looked at me with a "you're fucking kidding me right?" look on it's puss when I put a little piece of the crab down for her. I told my wife she's got to brush her teeth at least twice and floss too before I'll kiss her. She ate a bunch of unsweetened chocolate, which she says helps. She also ate some raw lemon wedges after she ate the crab, so the smell would go away.

[Rockindeano]

BTW - I watched my wife eat an entire crab to her self and it's pretty interesting that the only two things she didn't eat were the shell and gills. She started with the legs and then popped open the body and spooned out the light brown goo and then ate every piece inside there. There was a bunch of what looked like yellow broth in the shell and she put that up to her mouth like a cup of soup and sipped that down as well. Amazing cause I wouldn't touch that fucking shit. Even our cat looked at me with a "you're fucking kidding me right?" look on it's puss when I put a little piece of the crab down for her. I told my wife she's got to brush her teeth at least twice and floss too before I'll kiss her. She ate a bunch of unsweetened chocolate, which she says helps. She also ate some raw lemon wedges after she ate the crab, so the smell would go away.

You could always hose out her mouth, if you know what I mean. If it doesn't work the first time, do it again and again until you are satisfied.

[The Sushi Hunter]

BTW - I watched my wife eat an entire crab to her self and it's pretty interesting that the only two things she didn't eat were the shell and gills. She started with the legs and then popped open the body and spooned out the light brown goo and then ate every piece inside there. There was a bunch of what looked like yellow broth in the shell and she put that up to her mouth like a cup of soup and sipped that down as well. Amazing cause I wouldn't touch that fucking shit. Even our cat looked at me with a "you're fucking kidding me right?" look on it's puss when I put a little piece of the crab down for her. I told my wife she's got to brush her teeth at least twice and floss too before I'll kiss her. She ate a bunch of unsweetened chocolate, which she says helps. She also ate some raw lemon wedges after she ate the crab, so the smell would go away.

You could always hose out her mouth, if you know what I mean. If it doesn't work the first time, do it again and again until you are satisfied.

I know what you mean and I still would need her to brush her teeth twice and floss before doing that with her after she got done eating crab.

[Rockindeano]

BTW - I watched my wife eat an entire crab to her self and it's pretty interesting that the only two things she didn't eat were the shell and gills. She started with the legs and then popped open the body and spooned out the light brown goo and then ate every piece inside there. There was a bunch of what looked like yellow broth in the shell and she put that up to her mouth like a cup of soup and sipped that down as well. Amazing cause I wouldn't touch that fucking shit. Even our cat looked at me with a "you're fucking kidding me right?" look on it's puss when I put a little piece of the crab down for her. I told my wife she's got to brush her teeth at least twice and floss too before I'll kiss her. She ate a bunch of unsweetened chocolate, which she says helps. She also ate some raw lemon wedges after she ate the crab, so the smell would go away.

You could always hose out her mouth, if you know what I mean. If it doesn't work the first time, do it again and again until you are satisfied.

I know what you mean and I still would need her to brush her teeth twice and floss before doing that with her after she got done eating crab.

I see what you mean. Stick the nozzle in there, turn on the soap and pull it out and you have little crusty's stuck on your noodle that looks like Flaky Flix; remember those cookies? Chocolate covered cookie fingers with shaving s stuck in the chocolate. Same thing applies to your old ladies piehole, excess crab particles, and cum all mixed and dried onto your hose.

HAHAHAHAHA

[Arianddu]

LOL, dude, here's a story about dragonflies.

I used to have a model train set up. I would catch those annoying sonsofbitches and tape em to the track. I would run the engine right up to em to let them see how they were going to eventually get their appendages ripped clean off After about 5 minutes or so, and about 50 kilowatts of wasted running time up to and away from the D fly, I reversed the locomotive all the way to the end of track, and put the hammer down. It blasted that poor sumbitch about 150 scale MPH and ripped his arms, legs, head and dick clean off. However, that bastard got the last laugh. All his intestines, feet, antlers and guts flew up into the motor cavity and fucked up my engine. After that "execution" that particular locomotive maybe did 45 mph.

I had a race track that I used to run bugs over on. That was cool cause I would do a burn out on the bug in question.

When I lived on Oahu, everytime it rained the poisonous BUFO Frogs would come out by the hundreds into the street in my subdivision. (They don't tell the Tourists about that now, do they?)
These frogs have poison that oozes out of their back and if a child touches them and puts their hand in their mouth, they could die. Dogs would die all the time from mouthing the frogs. Mind you these are not little frogs. These suckers are the size of a tortoise, about 6 inches across and 5 inches high with warty things on their back. Anyway, as kids it was our job to put gloves on and gather up as many bufo frogs as we could when it rained and put them in trash barrels. All the teens in the neighborhood would do this every time it rained, as it was our parents plan to erradicate the damn things and they only come out into the street when it rains. The parents would pour gasoline on all the frogs in the trash cans and then set them on fire. That is how they would kill them. THE SPCA would not have been happy about that............... Anyway, one day one of the trash cans full of burning frogs got tipped over and there were at least 50 frogs jumping down the street on fire. It was quite a sight burned into my psyche, and probably responsible for turning me into a LOON.........

Oh hell, you don't mean cane toads do you? Bufo Marinus? Fucking evil poisonous filthy little mosters! I still don't know how some twat could decide that bringing those things from Hawaii to Australia was a good way to get rid of cane beetles.
Queenslanders play a great road game with those fuckers - score five points for every one you run over, 25 points if you can run over it head first so it bursts out its arse with a pop. The only way you could ever get me onto a golf course is for a round of Toad In The Hole with a few dozen of those things.

[SP Fan in Oregon]

LOL, dude, here's a story about dragonflies.

I used to have a model train set up. I would catch those annoying sonsofbitches and tape em to the track. I would run the engine right up to em to let them see how they were going to eventually get their appendages ripped clean off After about 5 minutes or so, and about 50 kilowatts of wasted running time up to and away from the D fly, I reversed the locomotive all the way to the end of track, and put the hammer down. It blasted that poor sumbitch about 150 scale MPH and ripped his arms, legs, head and dick clean off. However, that bastard got the last laugh. All his intestines, feet, antlers and guts flew up into the motor cavity and fucked up my engine. After that "execution" that particular locomotive maybe did 45 mph.

I had a race track that I used to run bugs over on. That was cool cause I would do a burn out on the bug in question.

When I lived on Oahu, everytime it rained the poisonous BUFO Frogs would come out by the hundreds into the street in my subdivision. (They don't tell the Tourists about that now, do they?)
These frogs have poison that oozes out of their back and if a child touches them and puts their hand in their mouth, they could die. Dogs would die all the time from mouthing the frogs. Mind you these are not little frogs. These suckers are the size of a tortoise, about 6 inches across and 5 inches high with warty things on their back. Anyway, as kids it was our job to put gloves on and gather up as many bufo frogs as we could when it rained and put them in trash barrels. All the teens in the neighborhood would do this every time it rained, as it was our parents plan to erradicate the damn things and they only come out into the street when it rains. The parents would pour gasoline on all the frogs in the trash cans and then set them on fire. That is how they would kill them. THE SPCA would not have been happy about that............... Anyway, one day one of the trash cans full of burning frogs got tipped over and there were at least 50 frogs jumping down the street on fire. It was quite a sight burned into my psyche, and probably responsible for turning me into a LOON.........

Oh hell, you don't mean cane toads do you? Bufo Marinus? Fucking evil poisonous filthy little mosters! I still don't know how some twat could decide that bringing those things from Hawaii to Australia was a good way to get rid of cane beetles.
Queenslanders play a great road game with those fuckers - score five points for every one you run over, 25 points if you can run over it head first so it bursts out its arse with a pop. The only way you could ever get me onto a golf course is for a round of Toad In The Hole with a few dozen of those things.

THOSE BE THE ONES..............!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We played the same road game in Hawaii. They make quite a pop when you run over them with a car, don't they? I was too young to drive, but my brothers would compete street by street. One brother would start at the end of the street driving to the other end of that street and count how many pops he got. Then the other brother would take over driving the next street up from end to end counting how many pops he got. The winner was the one with the most pops. The scary thing is, after a rain storm, they could get over 100 pops per street.............. and think about all those that got away.... Those were the ones that we younger kids caught and put in the trash cans........ The other thing tourists don't know is how many people are getting bit by sharks on Oahu. When I was in school there, many of my classmates who surfed had encounters with sharks frequently and were bitten bad. It is always amazing to me that the newspapers never carried such stories about the toads and the sharks, but us locals knew the truth......

[The Sushi Hunter]

Not sure if they were also poisonous ones or not, but when it would rain in Pampanga, we'd be in a jeepney heading down the road and running tons of toads over. They were also popping too. Hundreds of thousands of them jumping around on the streets. It grossed me out though and so I always just looked straight ahead and pretended not to hear the popping. These specific toads all seemed to be living in or around the rice fields which surrounded the entire village I used to stay in on occassions: San Miguel, Lubao, Pampanga...not so far from Tarlac.

[Arianddu]

The other thing tourists don't know is how many people are getting bit by sharks on Oahu. When I was in school there, many of my classmates who surfed had encounters with sharks frequently and were bitten bad. It is always amazing to me that the newspapers never carried such stories about the toads and the sharks, but us locals knew the truth......

Whereas Australians talk about it all the time, overemphasise it, tell the tallest stories and wink as we do so... then get shirty when tourists ignore the big signs saying "Crocodiles - Do Not Swim Here" (with helpful pictures of people getting eaten) and we've got another case of a tourist learning the crocodile roll.