OT: Now Greenies don't like how we wipe!

[hoagiepete]

It was just a matter of time, but now we can't even wipe our arse without the Euros and greenies finding something to bitch about.

Unreal... what's next??????

http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2 ... ll-america


American taste for soft toilet roll 'worse than driving Hummers'Extra-soft, quilted and multi-ply toilet roll made from virgin forest causes more damage than gas-guzzlers, fast food or McMansions, say campaigners
Comments (209) Digg it (29) Suzanne Goldenberg, US environment correspondent guardian.co.uk, Thursday 26 February 2009 18.29 GMT Article history
The tenderness of the delicate American buttock is causing more environmental devastation than the country's love of gas-guzzling cars, fast food or McMansions, according to green campaigners. At fault, they say, is the US public's insistence on extra-soft, quilted and multi-ply products when they use the bathroom.

"This is a product that we use for less than three seconds and the ecological consequences of manufacturing it from trees is enormous," said Allen Hershkowitz, a senior scientist at the Natural Resources Defence Council.

"Future generations are going to look at the way we make toilet paper as one of the greatest excesses of our age. Making toilet paper from virgin wood is a lot worse than driving Hummers in terms of global warming pollution." Making toilet paper has a significant impact because of chemicals used in pulp manufacture and cutting down forests.

A campaign by Greenpeace seeks to raise consciousness among Americans about the environmental costs of their toilet habits and counter an aggressive new push by the paper industry giants to market so-called luxury brands.

More than 98% of the toilet roll sold in America comes from virgin forests, said Hershkowitz. In Europe and Latin America, up to 40% of toilet paper comes from recycled products. Greenpeace this week launched a cut-out-and-keep ecological ranking of toilet paper products.

"We have this myth in the US that recycled is just so low quality, it's like cardboard and is impossible to use," said Lindsey Allen, the forestry campaigner of Greenpeace.

The campaigning group says it produced the guide to counter an aggressive marketing push by the big paper product makers in which celebrities talk about the comforts of luxury brands of toilet paper and tissue.

Those brands, which put quilting and pockets of air between several layers of paper, are especially damaging to the environment.

Paper manufacturers such as Kimberly-Clark have identified luxury brands such as three-ply tissues or tissues infused with hand lotion as the fastest-growing market share in a highly competitive industry. Its latest television advertisements show a woman caressing tissue infused with hand lotion.

The New York Times reported a 40% rise in sales of luxury brands of toilet paper in 2008. Paper companies are anxious to keep those percentages up, even as the recession bites. And Reuters reported that Kimberly-Clark spent $25m in its third quarter on advertising to persuade Americans against trusting their bottoms to cheaper brands.

But Kimberly-Clark, which touts its green credentials on its website, rejects the idea that it is pushing destructive products on an unwitting American public.

Dave Dixon, a company spokesman, said toilet paper and tissue from recycled fibre had been on the market for years. If Americans wanted to buy them, they could.

"For bath tissue Americans in particular like the softness and strength that virgin fibres provides," Dixon said. "It's the quality and softness the consumers in America have come to expect."

Longer fibres in virgin wood are easier to lay out and fluff up for a softer tissue. Dixon said the company used products from sustainbly farmed forests in Canada.

Americans already consume vastly more paper than any other country — about three times more per person than the average European, and 100 times more than the average person in China.

Barely a third of the paper products sold in America are from recycled sources — most of it comes from virgin forests.

"I really do think it is overwhelmingly an American phenomenom," said Hershkowitz. "People just don't understand that softness equals ecological destruction."

[bluejeangirl76]

delicate American buttock

Great band name!!

"I really do think it is overwhelmingly an American phenomenom," said Hershkowitz. "People just don't understand that softness equals ecological destruction.

And I really don't think that Hershkowicz understands that one-ply tree bark equals starfish destruction.

[Rhiannon]

I'm not about to boycott Charmin. Them Euro folks are free to have at the John Wayne butt paper.

[Gin and Tonic Sky]

So according to this moron- Mister Whipple was an agent for evil in this world??? What a friggin joke, go to hell.

This is hypocrisy to suggest that Americans are the only one who want comfort in the crack of their ass. Two of the biggest stars on British TV commercials is some irritating baby who runs a toilet paper company, and the Andex puppy, some dog who unrolls large quantiites of soft toilet paper, and I hear plenty of brits in the offices I ve work in go on about how crap the toilet paper is in the office, and they'l wait until they get home to take a crap.

[artist4perry]

Frankly Euro, I don't give a crap!


I will Squeeze my Charmin, it is the only luxury we might have left! Extra ply, and Apple Pie!

[indigo]

What do they suggest we use--a corncob?

[S2M]

What do they suggest we use--a corncob?

Sandpaper.....

[stevew2]

They need it rougher, they only wash the flapper once a week

[Arianddu]

Meh, they should be pushing the recycled toilet paper manufacturers to make their product softer. I buy recycled stuff, and the brand I get is great; soft, quilted and comfortable to use. There seems to be this idea amongst companies that make 'green' products that green/recycled should equal uncomfortable/crappy/clunky/lower quality. 'Cause all you people who recycle like being martyrs, right? It's easier to make super-soft paper from recycled paper than virgin wood pulp, but the manufacturers are the ones deciding that recycled loo paper should have sawdust in it. Bitch to them, fer gawdsake!

Bah! Sometimes I wish my people would just shut up; they make being a left-wing greenie hippy socialist an embarrassment. Don't get me started on the use of the word 'organic'...

[Duncan]

They need it rougher, they only wash the flapper once a week

Your thinking of the French. Did you know it's compulsory in France to make your dog to crap on the pavement?

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Now playing: The Dirt Band - So You Run

[stevew2]

They need it rougher, they only wash the flapper once a week

Your thinking of the French. Did you know it's compulsory in France to make your dog to crap on the pavement?

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Now playing: The Dirt Band - So You Run

I that the French crapped on the pavement, thats why you cant drink the water there

[Duncan]

They need it rougher, they only wash the flapper once a week

Your thinking of the French. Did you know it's compulsory in France to make your dog to crap on the pavement?

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Now playing: The Dirt Band - So You Run

I that the French crapped on the pavement, thats why you cant drink the water there

You can't drink the water in half of mainland Europe! France, Spain, Portugal, Greece...

[stevew2]

Thats cause everybody shits all over the place and bathes monthly

[Duncan]

Thats cause everybody shits all over the place and bathes monthly

Which wouldn't matter so much if they had a proper sewage system instead of filtering it through a tea strainer and pumping it back through the taps. Can't believe I'm talking shit....oh hang on - no change there.

[stevew2]

Its legal to talk about shit or scat as euros call it

[artist4perry]

Meh, they should be pushing the recycled toilet paper manufacturers to make their product softer. I buy recycled stuff, and the brand I get is great; soft, quilted and comfortable to use. There seems to be this idea amongst companies that make 'green' products that green/recycled should equal uncomfortable/crappy/clunky/lower quality. 'Cause all you people who recycle like being martyrs, right? It's easier to make super-soft paper from recycled paper than virgin wood pulp, but the manufacturers are the ones deciding that recycled loo paper should have sawdust in it. Bitch to them, fer gawdsake!

Bah! Sometimes I wish my people would just shut up; they make being a left-wing greenie hippy socialist an embarrassment. Don't get me started on the use of the word 'organic'...

I don't mind recycled. If it is soft and hypoalerginic I am all for it. That sawdust particle, rip your butt up, rash inducing cheepo stuff can all be shipped to the extreemist greenies and euros, that way when they are pompous, the irritation to their sphinkter can be the equivilent to the irritation they are to us.

[Triple S]

So according to this moron- Mister Whipple was an agent for evil in this world??? What a friggin joke, go to hell.

This is hypocrisy to suggest that Americans are the only one who want comfort in the crack of their ass. Two of the biggest stars on British TV commercials is some irritating baby who runs a toilet paper company, and the Andex puppy, some dog who unrolls large quantiites of soft toilet paper, and I hear plenty of brits in the offices I ve work in go on about how crap the toilet paper is in the office, and they'l wait until they get home to take a crap.

I wish the people in my office would wait until they get home. Walking into those fumes some days is pure torture - then if someone else comes in while you're still there, you feel compelled to say 'wasn't me'

[stevew2]

I farted in a customor s house about 5 years back, tried blaming it on the kids,they all went outside. I never got called back

[JH'sTXfan]

I farted in a customor s house about 5 years back, tried blaming it on the kids,they all went outside. I never got called back

OMG you're killin' me.

[stevew2]

I farted in a customor s house about 5 years back, tried blaming it on the kids,they all went outside. I never got called back

OMG you're killin' me.

The kids kept going ew gross yuck,pointing at each other, but they knew the stench was coming from my flapper, i could hardly keep a straight face,I called the guy a year later to come back, like i said, i never heard back from him, for all i know his house still smells like my colon

[Journey/Survivor]

Mister Whipple was an agent for evil in this world???

I always suspected that.

[Journey/Survivor]

Frankly Euro, I don't give a crap!


I will Squeeze my Charmin, it is the only luxury we might have left! Extra ply, and Apple Pie!

If that picture doesn't show what an evil psycho he was, then I don't know what does?

And don't even get me started about the Maytag Man.

[Red13JoePa]

It was just a matter of time, but now we can't even wipe our arse without the Euros and greenies finding something to bitch about.

LMAO!!
Good post

[annpea]

Frankly Euro, I don't give a crap!

I will Squeeze my Charmin, it is the only luxury we might have left! Extra ply, and Apple Pie!

[img]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_6-IIXAF5HOE/R0K6szg3I5I/AAAAAAAABq8/-RebGK2SqzM/s400/charmin.jpg[/img

]

[stevew2]

Frankly Euro, I don't give a crap!


I will Squeeze my Charmin, it is the only luxury we might have left! Extra ply, and Apple Pie!

If that picture doesn't show what an evil psycho he was, then I don't know what does?

And don't even get me started about the Maytag Man.

They say he was hung like an elephant

[artist4perry]

Frankly Euro, I don't give a crap!


I will Squeeze my Charmin, it is the only luxury we might have left! Extra ply, and Apple Pie!

If that picture doesn't show what an evil psycho he was, then I don't know what does?

And don't even get me started about the Maytag Man.

They say he was hung like an elephant

Steve - what the hell?!

Steve........Hmmmmmmmmmmm.....preoccupation with mens genital sizes...........but tight as a drum.......right........

Don't worry SteveW some day your prince will come..........

[The Sushi Hunter]

Living in the Philippines for a number of years, I picked up the habit of just taking a shower after dropping a chop, no buttwipe necessary. It's easy to get on a daily schedule and only have to shit during the time your usually at home. Like clockwork. PLUS....never again will you have skid marks in your pants from missing something.

Note: A shower in the Philippines is a 30 gallon plastic bucket full of water and a small pan or large bowl. You just sit their and pour the water over yourself to get wet, then soap up and then pour more water over you to get the soap off. Koreans and Vietnamese do the same, Japanese, not so much anymore.