Twilight: New Moon

[Rip Rokken]

I never wanted to see the first Twilight film, but I found the DVD sitting by the TV one night and watched it anyway. I was surprised to enjoy it, and was looking forward to New Moon.

Dang, does it ever SUCK!!! I didn't find myself lycan it much at all. This one doesn't have much at all to offer anyone except teenage girls, and will probably create a whole new batch of troubled ones. And it's obvious they think their real money-shot is the "hotness" of Robert Pattinson, because they milk every scene he's in specifically to capitalize on it -- just like so many of Tom Cruise's films. Watch one and you'll know exactly what I'm talking about -- every mouth twitch, half smile, wink or whatever in a Tom Cruise film is calculated to make Cruise look as cute as possible, and it's damn near unbearable to watch. I was actually really impressed by MI: 3, because J.J. Abrams dispensed with all that foolishness and made Cruise act for a change instead of pose. Enough about him, though. They are doing just as badly with Robert Pattinson to the point it severely wounds the film for anyone other than troubled, teenage chicks.

The only thing I halfway enjoyed was the werewolfery, and the absolute least thing I wanted to see was any scene with Pattinson and Kristen Stewart in it, because every one of them was slowwwwww, draggy, pouty, and miserable, like a cheap dime-store romance novel with overly melodramatic music playing in the background. They make a "Romeo and Juliet" reference early in the script and then spend the rest of the movie trying to mimic that story. And Kristen Stewart's character gets on my last nerve -- she plays the character like a total neurotic, and can't utter a word out of her mouth without either nervously shaking her head with an uneasy expression like she can't quite grasp something, or nodding like she's trying to convince herself it. Usually the head shaking followed by the nodding. This is definitely a girl who needs 24/7 supervision to keep her from doing anything stupid.

Anyway, I hated it and will not see any more of them one unless I find it by my TV again and I have absolutely nothing better to do (which is highly likely). It offers nothing to even it's target audience except the notion that self-imposed misery, making bad decisions, putting yourself in physical danger to get attention, and trying to kill yourself when you don't get it is cool.

P.S. I take issue with the whole Robert Pattinson is HOT b.s., which they even mention in one of the intro trailers. Pasty pancake makeup aside, he looks like a wooden mannequin and according to interviews he almost never bathes.

[Everett]

^^^^^^^ I agree with this post The whole twilight thing is really stupid

[Lula]

back off! the twilight series' demographic is teen-aged girls. i read the series and once i put my 40 year old criticisms aside i enjoyed all of the books. haven't seen new moon yet, but will next week. different director on this one, maybe that has something to do with the changes. and for the record- edward cullen is hot!!

silly for grown (old) men to review this one

[bluejeangirl76]

Haven't seen them, haven't read them and will not waste my time. I already did the teenagery fawning over dopey music and movies... when I was 13. I don't think you could get me to watch that shit if you put Johnny Depp in it. Furthermore... and this is how I know I'm old... last night I was shopping at Target.

I went by the DVDs like I always do, and I saw something new... usually they have 3 or 4 endcaps with DVDs, one for new movies, one for TV shows, one for kids, and maybe one with the discoutned ones... well, this store had removed all the DVD's from one of them and filled the whole thing - all four sides - with Twilight merchandise. Everything, notebooks, wallets, anything you can stick Robert Pattinson's face on and charge double for it. I was pissed! Put the DVDs back so that I can find the $5 Farrelly brothers movies and take that Twilight crap back to the teenager aisles where it belongs. Better yet, take it out of Target and put it back in Hot Topic where it belongs.

My GOD am I old.

[Jana]

wow, the hate on Tom Cruise, Rip. Very underrated actor and always gives solid performances, and some which are standouts. Born on the Fourth of July, brilliant. Rainman, great job as a narcissistic, self-involved brother, who evolves. When you watch Tom Cruise's body of work as an actor, you realize the range he has. His acting turn as the cynical sports agent was, to me, fantastic.

[Rip Rokken]

^^^^^^^ I agree with this post The whole twilight thing is really stupid

So are vampires and werewolves now too, thanks to the overcommercialization and cheezification of them in print and film. They suck almost as bad now as ninjas did after the 80's.

BTW, on the ninja note, I just watched a new film called Ninja the other day and LOVED it for what it was. (not Ninja Assassin) Bad dialogue and stock Kung-Fu plot aside, if you take it as nothing more than a comic book onscreen, the fight choreography and cinematography were extremely well done and beautiful to watch.

Also watched one called Brothers with Tobey Maguire, Jake Gyllenhaal & Natalie Portman that was HEAVY. GREAT film.

I did some looking and apparently a lot of people think Kristen Stewart is really annoying. It sounds like she's like that in real life, too. These are comments from one site"

"Did Kristen Stewart's breathing get on anyone else's nerves (as Bella)? Every time she talks she exhales as if she has been holding her breathe for minutes. Its like she is struggling to get the words out. UGHHH...she bothers me so much in this movie. I knew that the characters were going to be different from what I envisioned them to be. Kristen Stewart may look the part but she sure did a horrible job acting the part."

"yeah at first i thought thats how the character is supposed to be but she is like that with interviews like she pauses, bites her lips and is all awkward and every bit of her was in that movie i dont think we even saw Bella."

"i couldnt stand it. her acting was nothing like bella , she always seemed freaked out about something"

[Michigan Girl]

wow, the hate on Tom Cruise, Rip. Very underrated actor and always gives solid performances, and some which are standouts. Born on the Fourth of July, brilliant. Rainman, great job as a narcissistic, self-involved brother, who evolves. When you watch Tom Cruise's body of work as an actor, you realize the range he has. His acting turn as the cynical sports agent was, to me, fantastic.

I'm not a huge Tom Cruise fan, but he did have to pull a rabbit out of the hat for BOTFOJ and that Vampire Movie he was in w/Brad?!?!
There was no makin' his crooked smile look cute in those!! But RAINMAN?!?!? Cruise was in Rainman?!?
Hoffman stole that movie, Raymond was a mere supporting role chock full of all the attributes stated
above, he did a good job though!!!

[Rip Rokken]

back off! the twilight series' demographic is teen-aged girls.

LOL, you don't say!

i read the series and once i put my 40 year old criticisms aside i enjoyed all of the books. haven't seen new moon yet, but will next week. different director on this one, maybe that has something to do with the changes.

I did actually enjoy the first one. And you may be right if they changed directors -- the direction in the film received a lot of criticism, especially for the slow and draggy pace. Anyway, I really hope you'll reconsider seeing it because I've already done the painful legwork and announced to the world that it's crap. No need for a second opinion on this one.

and for the record- edward cullen is hot!!

He's absolutely not, in any way, shapeshift or form. I do find some much better airbrushed pics around on the Web of Robert Pattinson, but there have been too many other actors who do sideburns, brooding and pouting much better. What does Deano think about him?

[Rip Rokken]

Haven't seen them, haven't read them and will not waste my time. I already did the teenagery fawning over dopey music and movies... when I was 13. I don't think you could get me to watch that shit if you put Johnny Depp in it. Furthermore... and this is how I know I'm old... last night I was shopping at Target.

What about 21 Jump Street? I just bought the whole series on DVD and have been watching them. A fresh Depp experience because I probably never saw but 1/3 of the show back when it was on TV. That's in part because I got sick of seeing Johnny Depp on the cover of Tiger Beat magazine like Robert Pattinson, but then I realized he was actually cool and got hooked on the show. And Johnny Depp movies, except for anything that has Tim Burton attached.

Hey, you must have missed my recent question -- if I threw Vince Neil's $100 bill on the ground in Chicago and told you to pick it up, would you do it?

[bluejeangirl76]

and for the record- edward cullen is hot!!

He's absolutely not, in any way, shapeshift or form. I do find some much better airbrushed pics around on the Web of Robert Pattinson,

And what is the reason you are looking around the web for pictures of Robert Pattinson?

[Rip Rokken]

wow, the hate on Tom Cruise, Rip. Very underrated actor and always gives solid performances, and some which are standouts. Born on the Fourth of July, brilliant. Rainman, great job as a narcissistic, self-involved brother, who evolves. When you watch Tom Cruise's body of work as an actor, you realize the range he has. His acting turn as the cynical sports agent was, to me, fantastic.

I actually don't hate Tom Cruise films at all -- he's done some excellent work and definitely made some excellent movies. But his real-life ego is way out of control, and his "Cruise-isms" pervade many of his films. Like one I call the "Tom Cruise Moment of Focus & Clarity", where the camera zooms in slowly on his face as he stares thru you before doing something superhuman.

[JasonD]

It's all a matter of preference. Yes, Twilight is catered towards teenage girls & courgar moms. Rip, Nightbull: You guys ain't gonna get anything outta the Twilight series & they got 2 more movies yet to make. Pattinson is like catnip to a lot of girls, women (& me). Kristen Stewart ? ... meh, ... not so much, but I do wanna see her as Joan Jett in The Runaways. I haven't seen New Moon yet but I have the first one's DVD. I like the baseball scene the best. I do gotta laugh at little bit at the absurdity of the whole glittering thing. I can't quite figure out the purpose of Edward glittering. Maybe it's supposed to make him more attractive to teenage girls. I guess the whole pasty, white, emo, tortured soul, pensive, misunderstood look wasn't enough to draw a crowd.

[Rip Rokken]

I'm not a huge Tom Cruise fan, but he did have to pull a rabbit out of the hat for BOTFOJ and that Vampire Movie he was in w/Brad?!?!

Funny, I remember the author of the Vampire Chronicles reaaaaaaaaaaaallly protesting when they cast Tom Cruise in the role, but suddenly she started singing his praises and saying he was perfect for the part of Lestat. I smelled a payoff immediately, or a legal threat -- one or the other, maybe both. It was nothing but Tom Cruise with Vampire Teeth, just like Tom Cruise with a Race Car, Tom Cruise in a Jet Fighter, or Tom Cruise with a Samurai Sword. (loved all those films anyway though).

[Rip Rokken]

And what is the reason you are looking around the web for pictures of Robert Pattinson?

I wanted to give him a fair shot and not judge him too hard based on the pasty look in the film. He does stink though, and here's the proof:


http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/160779 ... tory.jhtml

"When asked if it was true that he once said he hadn't washed his hair for six weeks, the actor answered, "Probably. I don't know. I don't really see the point in washing your hair."

"Earlier this week, a source "who works very closely" with Pattinson on the Vancouver set of "New Moon" revealed the actor's dirty little secret to the world. "He stinks. I mean, it's awful. He never showers, and it drives people on the set crazy," the source said of Pattinson's personal hygiene. "He completely reeks," a second unidentified crew member added."

[bluejeangirl76]

I'm not a huge Tom Cruise fan, but he did have to pull a rabbit out of the hat for BOTFOJ and that Vampire Movie he was in w/Brad?!?!

Funny, I remember the author of the Vampire Chronicles reaaaaaaaaaaaallly protesting when they cast Tom Cruise in the role, but suddenly she started singing his praises and saying he was perfect for the part of Lestat. I smelled a payoff immediately, or a legal threat -- one or the other, maybe both.

That's true, Anne Rice was like "you cast WHO? Oh HELL no." She later saw a tape... I don't remember if it was an unfinished part or if it was after the movie was actually finsihed that she saw it - but once she saw him in the role she decided he was really good.

I still disagree with her. I love the movie, but I don't like Tom Cruise as Lestat. They should have gotten someone who could handle delivering dialogue with the vampire teeth in, and Cruise was not that person. You just get this image of what Lestat is supposed to be when you're reading the novels and Cruise was such a poor choice.

[Rip Rokken]

It's all a matter of preference. Yes, Twilight is catered towards teenage girls & courgar moms. Rip, Nightbull: You guys ain't gonna get anything outta the Twilight series & they got 2 more movies yet to make. Pattinson is like catnip to a lot of girls, women (& me).

Must be something in the water:

"Believe what you read and you’ll know that Robert Pattinson smells like a sweaty tramp’s dirty rectum – fact. And that’s made Robert Pattinson mad. Because, as everyone knows, the only things that Robert Pattinson smells of are moonbeams, fairydust and an unidentified chemical agent that makes teenage girls and lonely adult women urinate on sight."

Kristen Stewart? ... meh, ... not so much, but I do wanna see her as Joan Jett in The Runaways. I haven't seen New Moon yet but I have the first one's DVD. I like the baseball scene the best. I do gotta laugh at little bit at the absurdity of the whole glittering thing. I can't quite figure out the purpose of Edward glittering. Maybe it's supposed to make him more attractive to teenage girls. I guess the whole pasty, white, emo, tortured soul, pensive, misunderstood look wasn't enough to draw a crowd.

I forgot she's playing Joan Jett! Saw an interview with her a few weeks ago then and it showed some footage. Looks like she'll do a good job if they give her some Xanax or slap her if she starts acting uncomfortable with everything around her.

On the shiny skin thing, I mentioned that to a co-worker who had read the books, and she told me the author didn't research vampire lore beforehand, but just kinda did her own take on everything. Maybe that's true. I tell ya what, though, I bought a foreign film called Let The Right One In that kinda has that Twilight angle of human/vampire romance (even though the characters are something like 13), and there are a couple of scenes and lines that are nearly identical to the first Twilight. It was excellent -- much better. Very raw, totally unpolished, and creepy as hell. Got almost perfect reviews on RottenTomatoes.com -- 97%.

[Michigan Girl]

I'm not a huge Tom Cruise fan, but he did have to pull a rabbit out of the hat for BOTFOJ and that Vampire Movie he was in w/Brad?!?!

Funny, I remember the author of the Vampire Chronicles reaaaaaaaaaaaallly protesting when they cast Tom Cruise in the role, but suddenly she started singing his praises and saying he was perfect for the part of Lestat. I smelled a payoff immediately, or a legal threat -- one or the other, maybe both. It was nothing but Tom Cruise with Vampire Teeth, just like Tom Cruise with a Race Car, Tom Cruise in a Jet Fighter, or Tom Cruise with a Samurai Sword. (loved all those films anyway though).

ha ha, Yes, I remember bits and pieces of ^^^ I still think it's one of his better efforts!! Of course w/most Cruise movies there is someone else who steals the show ...in this instance Kirsten Dunst ...fabulous job!!

[Rip Rokken]

Best part of New Moon is seeing Edward getting his tail
kicked by the Volturi (or whatever they were). He's such a wuss even Dakota Fanning kicks his ass!

[bluejeangirl76]

Best part of New Moon is seeing Edward getting his tail
kicked by the Volturi (or whatever they were). He's such a wuss even Dakota Fanning kicks his ass!

who is the behootered lady in your avatar??

[Rip Rokken]

who is the behootered lady in your avatar??

"Behootered"??? That's so totally objectiflying towards chicks!

[bluejeangirl76]

who is the behootered lady in your avatar??

"Behootered"??? That's so totally objectiflying towards chicks!

yeah, but I'm a chick, so it's ok. OR "Yeah, I BET her objects were flying!" -- whichever is funnier.

ok, then, who is that pretty lady in your avatar?

[Ehwmatt]

I just wanted to see a lot more people die and a lot more vampire fights in Interview with the Vampire. I picked it up on Blu Ray for $5 and even though it's an older movie, the Blu Ray had some nice moments - especially in the swamp scenes and the 1700s scenes - some beautiful scenery, for sure.

[verslibre]

I found the DVD sitting by the TV one night and watched it anyway.

Nice try, Rip. Nice try.

[Ehwmatt]

I found the DVD sitting by the TV one night and watched it anyway.

Nice try, Rip. Nice try.

Yeah, and I suppose that Britney Spears disc fell from the shelf, rolled, and slipped into your CD drive and on your lap top and got auto-imported into iTunes too... that's why it's on your playlist, right Rip?

[verslibre]

[Jana]

I found the DVD sitting by the TV one night and watched it anyway.

Nice try, Rip. Nice try.

Yeah, and I suppose that Britney Spears disc fell from the shelf, rolled, and slipped into your CD drive and on your lap top and got auto-imported into iTunes too... that's why it's on your playlist, right Rip?

LOL.

And I loved the explanation for looking for photos of Rob Pattinson on the internet. Rip's got some splainin' to do.

[Rip Rokken]

who is the behootered lady in your avatar??

"Behootered"??? That's so totally objectiflying towards chicks!

yeah, but I'm a chick, so it's ok. OR "Yeah, I BET her objects were flying!" -- whichever is funnier.

ok, then, who is that pretty lady in your avatar?

An actress named Dyanna Lauren, but I'm not really familiar with her genre. You'd have to ask a specialist for more info - try Stevew2!

[Rip Rokken]

I found the DVD sitting by the TV one night and watched it anyway.

Nice try, Rip. Nice try.

Yeah, and I suppose that Britney Spears disc fell from the shelf, rolled, and slipped into your CD drive and on your lap top and got auto-imported into iTunes too... that's why it's on your playlist, right Rip?

LOL.

And I loved the explanation for looking for photos of Rob Pattinson on the internet. Rip's got some splainin' to do.

Don's Truth!!! The wife rented it one weekend, else I'd have never given it a chance. Now I rented the new one, and took it back early to make sure I got my $1 credit. I told her it sucked and that if I didn't return it, she'd watch it in 15 minute increments and I'd end up with a week's worth of late charges. Edward's gotten enough of money, I think!

[bluejeangirl76]

who is the behootered lady in your avatar??

"Behootered"??? That's so totally objectiflying towards chicks!

yeah, but I'm a chick, so it's ok. OR "Yeah, I BET her objects were flying!" -- whichever is funnier.

ok, then, who is that pretty lady in your avatar?

An actress named Dyanna Lauren, but I'm not really familiar with her genre. You'd have to ask a specialist for more info - try Stevew2!

Yeahhhhhh right.

"Actress", that's funny. I could tell by the spelling of her name that she's a porno ho, but I decided to look it up just to be fair. But I was correct.

[Jana]

who is the behootered lady in your avatar??

"Behootered"??? That's so totally objectiflying towards chicks!

yeah, but I'm a chick, so it's ok. OR "Yeah, I BET her objects were flying!" -- whichever is funnier.

ok, then, who is that pretty lady in your avatar?

An actress named Dyanna Lauren, but I'm not really familiar with her genre. You'd have to ask a specialist for more info - try Stevew2!

Yeahhhhhh right.

"Actress", that's funny. I could tell by the spelling of her name that she's a porno ho, but I decided to look it up just to be fair. But I was correct.

surprise surprise with that name. It would have been more like ask Steveo777 for that info.