My Perry Interview
Posted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 12:58 pmIn my eyes, and my vision, this is what I would ask the greatest fuckin voice and the greatest singer we have have ever heard(sorry, Steve Augeri).
I would be walking down Ventura Blvd with my secretary Cyndy and my assistant Lora. Walking into Twain's, a place frequented by Steve Perry, we sat down and ordered some grub, and waited for Steve.
Lora: (to Me), You really have impressed me. You got the Perry interview.
Deano: I know. It was simple really. I called Steve and he said, "sure, why the fuck not?"
Cyndy: Lora, pass the LA Times. (She fires open the fishwrap and browses upcoming concerts in the Metro LA area).
Fat Waitress (HOTS I think): What ya all want?
Dean: (thinking)..what a fat skank. Look at the cellulite in those thighs. (it was oozing out through her pantyhose)
All: Coffee and white toast
5 minutes later, Steve Perry walks in.
SP: Deano, what's up Dog?!
Dean: Espee. Dude, you're alive!
SP: Fuckin A I am.
Lora: Hey Stevie (Kisses him on the cheek.
Cyndy: Kisses him on the other cheek.
We all move to a corner booth and watch the freeway go by at 90 mph.
Dean: So, feel like talkin?
SP: Anything is a go today Big guy
Dean: Bitchin.
Interview starts.
Dean: Isn't that waitress disgusting?
SP; Dude, I have never seen fly migrate to a private area like that. Must be some God awful area, if ya know what I mean.
Dean: (Dry heaving onto carpet)
Dean: Ok, let's talk numbers, 41 million in the USA. Not bad.
SP: Could have been more, but I got a little lazy in the 90's. Fuckin Schon wants to work 40 hour weeks. I am not down with that.
Dean: Dude, It's a job
SP: I know, but I don't give a shit. I am the voice.
Dean: (leans over toward Lora, looking like he was going to kiss her, but instead lets out a wet flapper.) Place starts to smell like a backed up toilet. Soon SP himself rips one too.
Cyndy excuse herself to go out for some fresh air.
Dean: Back to it Steve. Why not come back after TBF and make another run? Why Not?
SP: Well, I thought about it. I decided that I liked Cobalt Blue skies as I petted my 4 kitties. That is what I chose to do and will continue to do so.
Dean: Ever talk to Andrew McNeice?
SP: Who the fuck is that? Never heard of him.
Dean: He is probably the coolest motherfucker in the southern Hemisphere; Australia to be exact. Guy talks with a heavy maple syrup accent, but is a bitchin' dude.
SP: How the Hell would I know? I never heard of him!
Dean: Dude, answer your goddamned emails! Mac has sent you countless requests for interviews.
SP: I don't want to talk to him. I want to talk to you.
Dean: Thanks bro. Fuck this, lets hit the corner bar and throw some Jaegermeister.
SP: Sounds good. Lora driving?
Dean: Damn straight she is.
We drive, if you can call what Lora did driving, to Kandy Kat tittie bar. (Yeah, it opens at 9AM DCVader).
Lora parks her rig and we all spill out into the KK.
SP throws a couple Benjamins down and calls over some LA skanks.
Dean: Dude, lets call Schon and Friga.
SP: I don't contact them, my attorney's do.
Dean: Oh come on man! Get over this infantile shit! Schon is the coolest SOB in the nation. I know the Frig can be a little bitchy but he was still a big part of the success.
SP: Yeah, ok.
Dean: ok?
SP: I don't think I want to run again
Dean: Dude, what the fuck are you babbling about?
A shirtless blonde comes over and Perry sticks his large beak in between her milk cans., and wiggles back and forth...and does it some more.
Lora and Cyndy are shocked. I was laughing, waiting my turn.
SP: Damn, that was good. See what money can buy, Deano?
Dean: No shit. And to think, Neal makes your money for ya.
SP: Yep, got him and Friga busting their asses for me.
Dean: that's pathetic Steve.
SP: Well, I am having an interview with Uncle Joe.
Dean: Don't knock yourself out dude.
Lora:
Dean: we need to run.
We all get up, and say our goodbyes.
To be continued........................
I would be walking down Ventura Blvd with my secretary Cyndy and my assistant Lora. Walking into Twain's, a place frequented by Steve Perry, we sat down and ordered some grub, and waited for Steve.
Lora: (to Me), You really have impressed me. You got the Perry interview.
Deano: I know. It was simple really. I called Steve and he said, "sure, why the fuck not?"
Cyndy: Lora, pass the LA Times. (She fires open the fishwrap and browses upcoming concerts in the Metro LA area).
Fat Waitress (HOTS I think): What ya all want?
Dean: (thinking)..what a fat skank. Look at the cellulite in those thighs. (it was oozing out through her pantyhose)
All: Coffee and white toast
5 minutes later, Steve Perry walks in.
SP: Deano, what's up Dog?!
Dean: Espee. Dude, you're alive!
SP: Fuckin A I am.
Lora: Hey Stevie (Kisses him on the cheek.
Cyndy: Kisses him on the other cheek.
We all move to a corner booth and watch the freeway go by at 90 mph.
Dean: So, feel like talkin?
SP: Anything is a go today Big guy
Dean: Bitchin.
Interview starts.
Dean: Isn't that waitress disgusting?
SP; Dude, I have never seen fly migrate to a private area like that. Must be some God awful area, if ya know what I mean.
Dean: (Dry heaving onto carpet)
Dean: Ok, let's talk numbers, 41 million in the USA. Not bad.
SP: Could have been more, but I got a little lazy in the 90's. Fuckin Schon wants to work 40 hour weeks. I am not down with that.
Dean: Dude, It's a job
SP: I know, but I don't give a shit. I am the voice.
Dean: (leans over toward Lora, looking like he was going to kiss her, but instead lets out a wet flapper.) Place starts to smell like a backed up toilet. Soon SP himself rips one too.
Cyndy excuse herself to go out for some fresh air.
Dean: Back to it Steve. Why not come back after TBF and make another run? Why Not?
SP: Well, I thought about it. I decided that I liked Cobalt Blue skies as I petted my 4 kitties. That is what I chose to do and will continue to do so.
Dean: Ever talk to Andrew McNeice?
SP: Who the fuck is that? Never heard of him.
Dean: He is probably the coolest motherfucker in the southern Hemisphere; Australia to be exact. Guy talks with a heavy maple syrup accent, but is a bitchin' dude.
SP: How the Hell would I know? I never heard of him!
Dean: Dude, answer your goddamned emails! Mac has sent you countless requests for interviews.
SP: I don't want to talk to him. I want to talk to you.
Dean: Thanks bro. Fuck this, lets hit the corner bar and throw some Jaegermeister.
SP: Sounds good. Lora driving?
Dean: Damn straight she is.
We drive, if you can call what Lora did driving, to Kandy Kat tittie bar. (Yeah, it opens at 9AM DCVader).
Lora parks her rig and we all spill out into the KK.
SP throws a couple Benjamins down and calls over some LA skanks.
Dean: Dude, lets call Schon and Friga.
SP: I don't contact them, my attorney's do.
Dean: Oh come on man! Get over this infantile shit! Schon is the coolest SOB in the nation. I know the Frig can be a little bitchy but he was still a big part of the success.
SP: Yeah, ok.
Dean: ok?
SP: I don't think I want to run again
Dean: Dude, what the fuck are you babbling about?
A shirtless blonde comes over and Perry sticks his large beak in between her milk cans., and wiggles back and forth...and does it some more.
Lora and Cyndy are shocked. I was laughing, waiting my turn.
SP: Damn, that was good. See what money can buy, Deano?
Dean: No shit. And to think, Neal makes your money for ya.
SP: Yep, got him and Friga busting their asses for me.
Dean: that's pathetic Steve.
SP: Well, I am having an interview with Uncle Joe.
Dean: Don't knock yourself out dude.
Lora:
Dean: we need to run.
We all get up, and say our goodbyes.
To be continued........................
Aw geez, here we go. 
..... oh.. what will cyndy and lora's view be to this? 
