Neal: virtuoso axe grinder and newly coronated pole smoker??

Voted Worlds #1 Most Loonatic Fanbase

Moderator: Andrew

Neal: virtuoso axe grinder and newly coronated pole smoker??

Postby The_Noble_Cause » Fri Feb 16, 2007 6:27 am

By now, the cat has been let out of the bag.
While it’s none of our business, it might as well be said; Neal Schon is leading the life of an unattached dick-swinging bachelor once again.
The question is, which way is his dick exactly swinging these days anyhow?
A quizzical forum overture to be sure, but if I may, allow me to first explain….

If Jon Cain’s dredged-in-marmalade sapfests ever needed vindication, look no further than to Neal Schon, the poster child for “loving a music man ain't always what it's supposed to be.”
This guy has been married so many times he’s essentially Elizabeth Taylor with a Y-chromosome and more shapely feminine thighs.
If Neal and Amber can be headed on a one-way track to splitsville, (a woman who in just 2001 Neal proclaimed his eternal love for in Arrival’s liner notes), it means the toils of life on the road can splinter even the strongest of connubial vows.

Looking back on this past tour, (the approximate timeframe when the marriage hit the skids) you’ll most likely recall Neal personally adopted the color purple - the official color of the gay community.
Night after night Neal wore this tacky indigo-stained cheesecloth rag proudly, even in face of mass ridicule. Some speculated that he just had bad taste in clothes, but even still, night after night? Surely, there had to be some underlying motive to the madness. In light of the divorce, it all makes sense. I’ve uncovered the Rosetta stone, and baffled Journey fans worldwide need not scratch their heads any longer -

Neal has finally come to grips with the fact that while no faster fingers exist when it comes to guitar, when it comes to pussy, the man is strictly all thumbs.

While a purple shirt is not a confession of guilt unto itself, if Neal ever struts on stage in red leathers complete with lace up fly, you can consider me a Styx fan all the way.

P.S. I never hungered to experience hypothermia on my dick first-hand, so I don’t reside in the Minnesota area. But to those that are, do online Journey fandom a huge favor and check to see if there’s a rainbow bumper sticker firmly slapped against Schon’s hog. I think you may find the results surprising.
"I think we should all sue this women for depriving us of our God given right to go down with a clear mind, and good thoughts." - Stu, Consumate Pussy Eater
User avatar
The_Noble_Cause
Super Audio CD
 
Posts: 16055
Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 9:14 am
Location: Lake Titicaca

Postby *Laura » Fri Feb 16, 2007 6:56 am

He's wearing black again.Must be grieving over the purple shirts' extinction.All five of them. :lol:


Thanks for the laughs,your wording is spectacular as usual.
Image Available @ LuluBooks.com
User avatar
*Laura
Stereo LP
 
Posts: 3978
Joined: Tue Feb 14, 2006 9:51 pm
Location: Zen, SoCal

Re: Neal: virtuoso axe grinder and newly coronated pole smok

Postby lowdbrent » Fri Feb 16, 2007 8:04 am

Removed. Though my friend stands by his claims, I shouldn't have posted it.
Last edited by lowdbrent on Fri Feb 16, 2007 12:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
lowdbrent
Ol' 78
 
Posts: 108
Joined: Sun Feb 05, 2006 12:45 pm
Location: KS

Postby RossValoryRocks » Fri Feb 16, 2007 8:35 am

This is how stupid rumors get started. :roll:
User avatar
RossValoryRocks
Stereo LP
 
Posts: 3830
Joined: Wed Feb 12, 2003 4:47 pm

Postby Carlitto H@kk » Fri Feb 16, 2007 8:36 am

Way to go, TNC!

I think we are gonna see all kinds of crazy and/or assinine stories about
Neal now thanks to you :)
Welcome to Terminus... You hungry?
User avatar
Carlitto H@kk
Stereo LP
 
Posts: 2891
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2006 3:27 am
Location: Home & Well

Re: Neal: virtuoso axe grinder and newly coronated pole smok

Postby lights1961 » Fri Feb 16, 2007 8:40 am

The_Noble_Cause wrote:By now, the cat has been let out of the bag.
While it’s none of our business, it might as well be said; Neal Schon is leading the life of an unattached dick-swinging bachelor once again.
The question is, which way is his dick exactly swinging these days anyhow?
A quizzical forum overture to be sure, but if I may, allow me to first explain….

If Jon Cain’s dredged-in-marmalade sapfests ever needed vindication, look no further than to Neal Schon, the poster child for “loving a music man ain't always what it's supposed to be.”
This guy has been married so many times he’s essentially Elizabeth Taylor with a Y-chromosome and more shapely feminine thighs.
If Neal and Amber can be headed on a one-way track to splitsville, (a woman who in just 2001 Neal proclaimed his eternal love for in Arrival’s liner notes), it means the toils of life on the road can splinter even the strongest of connubial vows.

Looking back on this past tour, (the approximate timeframe when the marriage hit the skids) you’ll most likely recall Neal personally adopted the color purple - the official color of the gay community.
Night after night Neal wore this tacky indigo-stained cheesecloth rag proudly, even in face of mass ridicule. Some speculated that he just had bad taste in clothes, but even still, night after night? Surely, there had to be some underlying motive to the madness. In light of the divorce, it all makes sense. I’ve uncovered the Rosetta stone, and baffled Journey fans worldwide need not scratch their heads any longer -

Neal has finally come to grips with the fact that while no faster fingers exist when it comes to guitar, when it comes to pussy, the man is strictly all thumbs.

While a purple shirt is not a confession of guilt unto itself, if Neal ever struts on stage in red leathers complete with lace up fly, you can consider me a Styx fan all the way.

P.S. I never hungered to experience hypothermia on my dick first-hand, so I don’t reside in the Minnesota area. But to those that are, do online Journey fandom a huge favor and check to see if there’s a rainbow bumper sticker firmly slapped against Schon’s hog. I think you may find the results surprising.


now this is gay....

Rick
lights1961
Compact Disc
 
Posts: 5362
Joined: Tue Jul 04, 2006 7:33 am

Postby Carlitto H@kk » Fri Feb 16, 2007 8:50 am

RossValoryRocks wrote:This is how stupid rumors get started. :roll:


Yea, but it isn't TNC's fault that so many people won't read his 'pretty funny'
post for what t is, take it serious and then crawl outa the wood-work with
all kinds of stupid, pathetic stories to try and "validate" what TNC said as truth
instead of taking it for what it really was... Good Ol' Fashioned MR humor, TNC-Style :)
LowD took the first cheap shot. Can't wait to see who steps up next :)
Welcome to Terminus... You hungry?
User avatar
Carlitto H@kk
Stereo LP
 
Posts: 2891
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2006 3:27 am
Location: Home & Well

Postby Rockindeano » Fri Feb 16, 2007 9:39 am

Neal gets more hole than a golf ball. He is as straight as a ruler. Love that guy...
User avatar
Rockindeano
Forever Deano
 
Posts: 25864
Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2004 2:52 am
Location: At Peace

Postby Red13JoePa » Fri Feb 16, 2007 10:06 am

LOL :D
"I love almost everybody."---Rocky Balboa 1990
"Let's reform this thing.Let's go out and get some guys who want to work and go do it"--Neal Schon February, 2001
"I looked at Neal, and I just saw a guy who really wants his band back"-JCain 2/01
Red13JoePa
MP3
 
Posts: 11646
Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2005 11:43 pm
Location: Happy Valley

Postby Andrew » Fri Feb 16, 2007 10:12 am

RossValoryRocks wrote:This is how stupid rumors get started. :roll:


DEFINITELY NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY!!!! :shock: :D
User avatar
Andrew
Administrator
 
Posts: 10961
Joined: Thu Aug 29, 2002 9:12 pm
Location: Hobart, Tasmania, Australia

Postby Carlitto H@kk » Fri Feb 16, 2007 10:21 am

Personally, I think Neal has been
wearing the Purple shirts more to try and
bring in new, young Journey fans!

I know my daughter used to get hypnotized
when that fuckin Barney Show came on the TV :D
Welcome to Terminus... You hungry?
User avatar
Carlitto H@kk
Stereo LP
 
Posts: 2891
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2006 3:27 am
Location: Home & Well

Postby Liquid_Drummer » Fri Feb 16, 2007 11:05 pm

If Neal Schon is gay (which is ok BTW) I will wear a short short kilt for the next year commando style !
User avatar
Liquid_Drummer
Cassette Tape
 
Posts: 1221
Joined: Wed Sep 06, 2006 4:44 am

Postby Gibby » Sat Feb 17, 2007 3:47 am

What is everyone's problem with the purple shirt anyway? Is it the color or that he always wore it? I think the color is cool - ( suppose he could have worn it a little less but if he likes it, who fucking cares? :) I'm sure it matches that purple boner that he can't seem to leave in his pants.
User avatar
Gibby
45 RPM
 
Posts: 242
Joined: Wed Oct 25, 2006 6:12 am
Location: Approaching Uranus

Postby (Crazy)Dulce Lady » Sat Feb 17, 2007 3:48 am

Gibby wrote:What is everyone's problem with the purple shirt anyway? Is it the color or that he always wore it? I think the color is cool - ( suppose he could have worn it a little less but if he likes it, who fucking cares? :) I'm sure it matches that purple boner that he can't seem to leave in his pants.



:evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:
Image
Image
User avatar
(Crazy)Dulce Lady
Stereo LP
 
Posts: 3504
Joined: Fri Sep 01, 2006 2:52 pm
Location: Lost In The Translation

Postby Jeremey fan forever » Sun Feb 18, 2007 6:18 pm

First of all, NOBODY talks trash about Neal and gets away with it! :x

Second, WTF are you talking about? :lol:

BTW, you don't happen to work at a Comic book/trading card store in Springfield, do you? :shock:
User avatar
Jeremey fan forever
LP
 
Posts: 515
Joined: Mon Jul 31, 2006 12:22 pm

Postby frostbite » Sun Feb 18, 2007 11:56 pm

Just for the record, I thought he looked cool in the purple shirt. I wish he'd wear some bright garish psychedelic thing to distract my wife's eyes when he's close up on the video screens. That man's package is obscenely huge! Neal Schlong more like.
frostbite
Ol' 78
 
Posts: 138
Joined: Tue Aug 22, 2006 12:17 am

Postby Cheri » Mon Feb 19, 2007 4:59 am

frostbite wrote:Just for the record, I thought he looked cool in the purple shirt. I wish he'd wear some bright garish psychedelic thing to distract my wife's eyes when he's close up on the video screens. That man's package is obscenely huge! Neal Schlong more like.
:shock: So true! :lol:
User avatar
Cheri
Ol' 78
 
Posts: 185
Joined: Tue Sep 19, 2006 3:45 pm
Location: Cape Girardeau, MO

Postby summergirl » Mon Feb 19, 2007 6:14 am

OK, just a question - how does everyone know about Neal and Amber? It hasn't been publicized yet, correct? And how do you know it happened during this past tour? Is it because of his activities duirng said tour?!!! Just curious!! It is sad, actually, don't they have a one year old baby, and a 4 year old???
summergirl
Ol' 78
 
Posts: 96
Joined: Mon Jan 22, 2007 11:20 am

Postby ohsosoto » Mon Feb 19, 2007 10:33 am

lady grinning soul wrote:
frostbite wrote:Just for the record, I thought he looked cool in the purple shirt. I wish he'd wear some bright garish psychedelic thing to distract my wife's eyes when he's close up on the video screens. That man's package is obscenely huge! Neal Schlong more like.
:shock: So true! :lol long duck schon!!
User avatar
ohsosoto
LP
 
Posts: 461
Joined: Thu Nov 02, 2006 1:45 pm
Location: missouri


Return to Journey

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 23 guests

cron