Jonny B wrote:Allow me to reitterate, and sum up the next movie with two sentences:
Count Dooku and/or Palpatine: Anakin, you will turn to the dark side.
Anakin: HEY, SOUNDS GREAT! SIGN ME UP!!!
I will take your reiteration and raise you an elaboration. Picture in your mind the set of the Jerry Springer show...
Jerry: "Welcome to the show. Meet Sidious. Sidious is considered a Dark Lord of the Sith. He's come here because he's got a secret that he has to get out. He wants to tell his best friend that he's not who he really appears to be. So let's bring him out. Meet Dooku!"
(CROWD APPLAUSE - Dooku sits down in a chair way over on the other side of the stage)
Jerry: "Hey Dooku, nice meeting you. Your friend Sidious brought you on the show because he wants to tell you something. Sidious, do you have something you need to say to Dooku

"
Sidious: "Dooku, you know that we've been close friends for many years now and I really do like you but I've been hiding something from you that I think you need to know."
Dooku: "Yeah...?"
Sidious: "Well, you see...this is so hard. Um, you know that we've been trying to destroy the Jedi and capture that Palpatine guy? Well, during this time I've really been acting like someone else and I've fallen for another guy and I think we need to break it off now."
Dooku: "What?"
Sidious: "I'm really Palpatine on the side and I've been doing it with Anakin for a long time and he's going to be my lover now."
Jerry: "Everyone, let's meet Anakin!"
(CROWD ROARS as Anakin comes running out from behind the stage with his lightsaber on)
Anakin:

"Dooku, you bitch! He's all mine!" (fight breaks out with chairs and lightsabers going everywhere. Anakin gets a lucky swipe at Dooku and decapitates him. Anakin laughs and sits in Dooku's chair.)
Sidious: "Oooh, Anakin! Your anger makes me horny! You're sexy when you're mad!"
Jerry: "Thanks for joining us Anakin. Sounds like you and Sidious have something going on here. Would you like to elaborate for the audience?"
Anakin:

"Yeah, no problem. You see, I had this chick on the side that was a total hottie, but Obi-Wan thought she was damaged goods and that I should keep my pecker in my pants. Pissed me off big time, so I started hangin' with Pally who was the bomb, you know! He'd be tellin' me things to make me feel like I was really worth something and not just some other Jedi's bitch. See, I used to be Obi-Wan's bitch once, but I got tired of his crap so I left him to get out on my own, you know? Then this frickin' Dooku started messin' with my girl and Pally told me that I had to do somethin' about it, so I did. BAM! Pretty cool shit, huh? I am 'da Chozen One, yo!"
Jerry: "Anakin, how do you feel about Pally being Sidious, you know."
Anakin: "It's cool, jus as long as I get my woman whenever I want at my crib back on Croissant."
Jerry: "You mean CORUSCANT?"
Anakin:

"Yeah, whatever, man. Why don't you get off my case, bro? I am 'da Chozen One, you know?"
Jerry: "Well, let's bring out your girl, Annie. Here's Padme!"
(CROWD WOOS PADME LOUDLY as Padme struts out and sits between Anakin and Sidious)
Jerry: "Hi Padme. Nice to meet you. I understand that you've got something that you need to tell Anakin. Why don't you tell him that now."
Padme: "Annie, I just need you to know that I'm pregnant and that you're their father."
(TO BE CONTINUED) 