The handbook says nothing about Tom Jones, though

by **jabber** » Mon Jul 31, 2006 2:32 pm

I believe it's in the old Rocker's Handbook (Lead Singer Guide to Stage Appearance, page 37, item 8 ). It says "Women love tight pants. It does not matter if you are unattractive, overweight, have a flat ass/no ass/too much ass, or if your legs resemble Pixie Sticks. The recommended stage attire calls for tight pants, preferably leather (or in the case of hair bands, spandex) although denim is acceptable. Your fan base will be expanded greatly if you are able to become a fantasy object for women (see Side Effects of Going Mainstream pg. 53, section 3). This requires ocasionally making eyes in the general direction of a group of stagefront females, singing at least one love ballad, long hair (see Exceptions at the end of this chapter), and of course tight pants. Ability to fill out the front of said pants marginally increases female fan appreciation; however this is not necessary as long as you incorporate some suggestive moves into your routine. Ass-shaking and pelvic thrusts are considered standard."

Sorry... was just looking at some rock pix from the 70s and 80s, and damn was there a lot of "moose knuckle" going on there. :shock:

by **Clasicrockldy** » Mon Jul 31, 2006 2:42 pm

Jabber........ I am :shock:

ed........... LOLOL ! :lol:

by **Blueskies** » Mon Jul 31, 2006 2:56 pm

Jabberwocky wrote:I believe it's in the old Rocker's Handbook (Lead Singer Guide to Stage Appearance, page 37, item 8 ). It says "Women love tight pants. It does not matter if you are unattractive, overweight, have a flat ass/no ass/too much ass, or if your legs resemble Pixie Sticks. The recommended stage attire calls for tight pants, preferably leather (or in the case of hair bands, spandex) although denim is acceptable. Your fan base will be expanded greatly if you are able to become a fantasy object for women (see Side Effects of Going Mainstream pg. 53, section 3). This requires ocasionally making eyes in the general direction of a group of stagefront females, singing at least one love ballad, long hair (see Exceptions at the end of this chapter), and of course tight pants. Ability to fill out the front of said pants marginally increases female fan appreciation; however this is not necessary as long as you incorporate some suggestive moves into your routine. Ass-shaking and pelvic thrusts are considered standard."

Sorry... was just looking at some rock pix from the 70s and 80s, and damn was there a lot of "moose knuckle" going on there.

My pick for BEST THREAD!!! ( but some things do matter! )

by **SuiteMadameBlue** » Mon Jul 31, 2006 4:41 pm

Jabberwocky wrote:I believe it's in the old Rocker's Handbook (Lead Singer Guide to Stage Appearance, page 37, item 8 ). It says "Women love tight pants. It does not matter if you are unattractive, overweight, have a flat ass/no ass/too much ass, or if your legs resemble Pixie Sticks. The recommended stage attire calls for tight pants, preferably leather (or in the case of hair bands, spandex) although denim is acceptable. Your fan base will be expanded greatly if you are able to become a fantasy object for women (see Side Effects of Going Mainstream pg. 53, section 3). This requires ocasionally making eyes in the general direction of a group of stagefront females, singing at least one love ballad, long hair (see Exceptions at the end of this chapter), and of course tight pants. Ability to fill out the front of said pants marginally increases female fan appreciation; however this is not necessary as long as you incorporate some suggestive moves into your routine. Ass-shaking and pelvic thrusts are considered standard."

Sorry... was just looking at some rock pix from the 70s and 80s, and damn was there a lot of "moose knuckle" going on there.

GREAT thread!!!

I do love the guys in tight jeans and a tight t-shirt, nice build is an added plus too!! I'm glad that denim is acceptable!!! :wink:

by **johnroxx** » Mon Jul 31, 2006 5:11 pm

Just in case any of the fair-of heart are unfamiliar with the term "moose knuckle," this may be helpful.

I found the first example particularly hilarious:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.p ... se+knuckle

;^)

by **SuiteMadameBlue** » Mon Jul 31, 2006 5:28 pm

johnroxx wrote:Just in case any of the fair-of heart are unfamiliar with the term "moose knuckle," this may be helpful.

I found the first example particularly hilarious:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.p ... se+knuckle

;^)

LOL!!! I never heard that term before!! I can't wait to use it when I see it!! Too funny!!!

I really don't look, really I don't!! :wink:

by **jabber** » Mon Jul 31, 2006 5:33 pm

Moose knuckle illustrated:

by **SusieP** » Mon Jul 31, 2006 6:06 pm

Great thread!
Thanks for the laugh.

We call it a 'camel's toe' over here! But I prefer 'moose knuckle' - please may I adopt that term?

I do have one exception to your theory, Randy Jackson.
Ewwww, although maybe other ladies liked that tight trousered look on him? :lol:

His spotty guitar did hide the moose knuckle, so maybe that's ok. :lol:

by **jabber** » Mon Jul 31, 2006 6:16 pm

I always used camel toe for women and moose knuckle for men, but I guess it makes sense either way. Not my term so feel free to use it.

Randy Jackson... hmmm... nope, don't want to think about him in ANYthing tight. And didn't he wear Budget Backup Musician pleather? :wink:

There was a whole 'nother chapter for fill-in bass players, I believe. It was a short chapter.

by **SusieP** » Mon Jul 31, 2006 6:21 pm

Jabberwocky wrote:I always used camel toe for women and moose knuckle for men, but I guess it makes sense either way. Not my term so feel free to use it.

Randy Jackson... hmmm... nope, don't want to think about him in ANYthing tight. And didn't he wear Budget Backup Musician pleather?

Thanks I shall now use that term readily. It's hilarious.

And you see, many of us have been in therapy for years trying to FORGET Randy Jackson's tight pants and now it's all come flooding back!
AAAAARRRGGGHH! :lol:

by **A Fire Inside** » Tue Aug 01, 2006 1:18 am

Jabberwocky wrote:Your fan base will be expanded greatly if you are able to become a fantasy object for women (see Side Effects of Going Mainstream pg. 53, section 3). This requires ocasionally making eyes in the general direction of a group of stagefront females, singing at least one love ballad, long hair (see Exceptions at the end of this chapter), and of course tight pants. Ability to fill out the front of said pants marginally increases female fan appreciation; however this is not necessary as long as you incorporate some suggestive moves into your routine. Ass-shaking and pelvic thrusts are considered standard."

LMAO! The first thing I thought of was this:

by **larryfromnextdoor** » Tue Aug 01, 2006 1:19 am

i think this moose knuckle got into a fight........oh

by **jabber** » Tue Aug 01, 2006 1:23 am

Excellent examples!

AFI, looks like Rolie could give Bret Michaels a run for his money in a Moose-Off, eh? :roll:

by **SusieP** » Tue Aug 01, 2006 1:24 am

[quote="A Fire Inside

[/quote]

OMG!
Greg Rolie must have influenced Harry Shearer in Spinal Tap.

by **SusieP** » Tue Aug 01, 2006 1:25 am

LarryFromNextDoor wrote:i think this moose knuckle got into a fight........oh

Now THAT is scary.

That's gotta hurt.

by **gr8dane** » Tue Aug 01, 2006 2:01 am

Scuse me ladies, ehh and gents.
When I wear my trackpants,I have moose knuckle.
Is that called something else ?
Gr8dane (That explains my name)

by **tammy** » Tue Aug 01, 2006 3:40 am

A Fire Inside wrote:
Jabberwocky wrote:Your fan base will be expanded greatly if you are able to become a fantasy object for women (see Side Effects of Going Mainstream pg. 53, section 3). This requires ocasionally making eyes in the general direction of a group of stagefront females, singing at least one love ballad, long hair (see Exceptions at the end of this chapter), and of course tight pants. Ability to fill out the front of said pants marginally increases female fan appreciation; however this is not necessary as long as you incorporate some suggestive moves into your routine. Ass-shaking and pelvic thrusts are considered standard."

LMAO! The first thing I thought of was this:

Lol. "rockets in pockets"...but, what exactly is Ross doing - too shy?

by **Marabelle** » Tue Aug 01, 2006 3:57 am

just reminds me of...look at that doggie in the window!

by **Blueskies** » Tue Aug 01, 2006 11:43 am

I am really enjoying this thread...enough said! :lol:

by **jabber** » Tue Aug 01, 2006 11:47 am

I was gonna ask in the other thread if your unmentionable dreams involved moose knuckles, but figured I probably knew the answer. :wink:

by **Blueskies** » Tue Aug 01, 2006 11:59 am

Jabberwocky wrote:I was gonna ask in the other thread if your unmentionable dreams involved moose knuckles, but figured I probably knew the answer.

by **Marabelle** » Tue Aug 01, 2006 12:03 pm

lol..i wonder if they had asked them to think of something erotic and then come back for the picture or let them flip through some porno magazines. that's just so weird...i mean there has to be something that captured their imagination. i don't think men walk around like that all day. unless it was
sock-gate.

by **FormerJrnyFan** » Tue Aug 01, 2006 12:05 pm

That Paul Stanley pic is... umm... :shock:

by **Marabelle** » Tue Aug 01, 2006 12:06 pm

he was wearing a baby bootie and it was still too big.

by **larryfromnextdoor** » Tue Aug 01, 2006 12:25 pm

journeygal wrote:That Paul Stanley pic is... umm...

lo,, is the word ur looking for ,,"hot" ???

by **Marabelle** » Tue Aug 01, 2006 12:30 pm

or gay like lance bass? lol

by **larryfromnextdoor** » Tue Aug 01, 2006 12:55 pm

Marabelle wrote:or gay like lance bass? lol

thems fight'en words,, aint no way paul is gay,, thats never been brought up before!!! hes just a bit ,, different,, ya, different,, great singer / songwriter,, different, yellow, 2

by **cudaclan** » Tue Aug 01, 2006 2:10 pm

They are called "grape smugglers". The parody (movie), "This is Spinal Tap" does a hilarious take on that.

by **Clasicrockldy** » Tue Aug 01, 2006 2:10 pm

silverblue wrote:
A Fire Inside wrote:
Jabberwocky wrote:Your fan base will be expanded greatly if you are able to become a fantasy object for women (see Side Effects of Going Mainstream pg. 53, section 3). This requires ocasionally making eyes in the general direction of a group of stagefront females, singing at least one love ballad, long hair (see Exceptions at the end of this chapter), and of course tight pants. Ability to fill out the front of said pants marginally increases female fan appreciation; however this is not necessary as long as you incorporate some suggestive moves into your routine. Ass-shaking and pelvic thrusts are considered standard."

LMAO! The first thing I thought of was this:

Lol. "rockets in pockets"...but, what exactly is Ross doing - too shy?

Maybe it has something to do with Gregg pulling Ross' jacket towards him ! Maybe hiding something? :wink:

by **Clasicrockldy** » Tue Aug 01, 2006 2:11 pm

Marabelle wrote:lol..i wonder if they had asked them to think of something erotic and then come back for the picture or let them flip through some porno magazines. that's just so weird...i mean there has to be something that captured their imagination. i don't think men walk around like that all day. unless it was
sock-gate.

or no underwear Marabelle ! :wink:

MR

The handbook says nothing about Tom Jones, though

The handbook says nothing about Tom Jones, though

Re: The handbook says nothing about Tom Jones, though

Re: The handbook says nothing about Tom Jones, though

Re: The handbook says nothing about Tom Jones, though

Re: The handbook says nothing about Tom Jones, though

Re: The handbook says nothing about Tom Jones, though

Re: The handbook says nothing about Tom Jones, though

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