Who Here Loves their Spouse?

[Melissa]

I love that our son has his forehead, & our daughter has his nose.

Your children are crafty. How does he look without those parts? He must frighten the other villagers.

Yeah it's a little scary, but not too bad

[Red13JoePa]

Hm.




What'd you do on that road trip, Dean?

[styxman]

I love that our son has his forehead, & our daughter has his nose.

Your children are crafty. How does he look without those parts? He must frighten the other villagers.

Is he Michael Jackson

[SteveForever]

Well as most of you have figured out by now that Larry from Next door and I are married now for almost 20 years. We met in a canyon. Most of the time I have no clue what he is saying? He "wears his nails long so they click on the piano" and that is still a daily fight, but overall he's a good husband and he makes great pecan pie. His horshoeing business is doing well so we might be able to get a car.

[Moon Beam]

Well as most of you have figured out by now that Larry from Next door and I are married now for almost 20 years. We met in a canyon. Most of the time I have no clue what he is saying? He "wears his nails long so they click on the piano" and that is still a daily fight, but overall he's a good husband and he makes great pecan pie. His horshoeing business is doing well so we might be able to get a car.

Liz

[nutz4Neal]

Awww Dean, what beautiful words you wrote about your sweet, Lula. <sniff sniff>

I'm crazy in love with my hub because he takes care of business every frekin' day no matter what. He understands me like no one else ever has, he supports me & encourages me, I wish I could be more like him... and he understands my Journey obsession.

[SunshineTwilight]

AR, don't know how that sweet woman of your's puts up with you! LMAO!!!!

Give Lori hugz for me will ya?!

[Angiekay]

I'm not sure whether to be depressed or inspired by this thread!

[lights1961]

Going against the grain here, I think my wife is a heretic and a witch. I truly fear for my life and do not sleep at night as she might cast a spell on me. Poison, weapons, all are of no use. My only hope is to subdue her when she takes the form of a bat. Then I can burn her at the stake and the evil will begone. Finally I will be free.

AR, spoken by a man who has been truley whipped!!! LOL and married for a few years!! HAHA.

We are fast approaching 20 years this August and going strong.. still go crazy over her!! no kids, but two pups and a business to run. For us the no kids thing is probably a savior!!


Rick

[AR]

If we have anyone here with carpentry skills, I'd like one of these built please:



I will also need several live ducks, and a few witnesses for the trial.

[whocares]

dude, I can build one in about an hour.

The ducks, you'll have to find from someone else. The Vietnamese family that used to live across form me, had a rice patty and stole ducks from the local pond, but alas they are no more. Can't help there.

Oh yeah, lest I forget the subject the woman and I get along just fine after knowing each other for nearly 30 years. I've asked for a trade in, but so far it's been rejected.

[AR]

[Playitloudforme]

I thought I was the only one. Mine takes the form of a black cat and attempts to suck out my soul through my nose. My only weapon against her is this:

You are very fortunate to have forged such a mighty weapon!

Just last night I clubbed my wife over the head and submerged her in the bathtub. I thought my ordeal was finally over with. Unfortunately in a combination of desperation and exhaustion I had forgotten that witches are made of wood and can float.

Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?

If she is made of wood, then she should weigh the same as a duck, right?

Didn't she turn you into a newt?

[Moon Beam]

Your loaded for bear today ain't ya Sir?
thanks for em AR

[AR]

Area husband pretends to give a shit

Maryland. – Attempting to pacify his wife Lori’s incessant desire for verbal interaction, area husband AR from the melodicrock boards pretended to give a shit Tuesday as his wife of six years initiated and dominated a series of prolonged dialogues regarding an array of unrelated, unimportant subjects.

According to AR, the thoroughly pointless conversation - which comprehensively detailed his wife's work day, lunch experience, plans for the evening and friend's relationship difficulties - took place in the living room of the couple's Maryland home at approximately 6 p.m., shortly after AR began watching television in an effort to unwind from work.
"I love my wife, but Jesus, does she like to talk sometimes," said AR, 38, who works as IT professional for a local firm. "I wanted to just come home [from work] and chill out for awhile, but Lori immediately launches into these long, boring stories about what happened at work and what's going on with a friend of hers and a bunch of other stuff. I just tried to act like I was paying attention and hoped it wouldn't go on too long."

Occasionally retorting with such all-purpose conversation perpetuators as "That's nice, honey" and "No kidding? Huh," AR pretended to give a shit about his wife's exhaustively detailed personal accounts until just after 6:45 p.m., when Lori was forced to interrupt the one-sided exchange to receive a telephone call from her longtime friend Nelly Smith.

"Saved by the bell, I guess you'd say," AR jokingly explained, adding that he used the brief interruption to exit the room and seek solace behind some cardboard boxes in the basement, where he remained for several hours.

AR acknowledged that although the lengthy, expendable conversation depleted a good amount of his after-work leisure time, the 45 minutes spent maintaining a convincing, give-a-shit veneer was not a complete waste.

"I was able to give some thought to a few things I hadn't had time for," said AR, who admitted to mentally drifting light-years away from his wife's inane banter. "While Lori was busy carrying on about God-knows-what, I was trying to figure out the significance of a couple of scenes from the movie Memento, which we had rented a few nights back. I think I've got most of [the plot] figured out now."

"I pretend to give a shit because I care."

In addition to analyzing the storyline of the 2001 feature, AR mentally planned the couple's upcoming camping trip and also reminisced about his 1999 bachelor party weekend in Las Vegas - all the while remembering to nod, say "Yeah," and display other characteristics indicative of a person who is giving a shit.

AR said he often pretends to give a shit about what his wife says.

"Somebody - a guy - once told me that women tend to work things out in their heads by talking things out, so most of the time it isn't really necessary to listen to everything a woman says," said AR. "It's been my experience that the theory usually holds true. So I tend to just keep my mouth shut and let her talk herself out."

Added AR: "Besides, if something's really important to her, I'll pick up on it right away because she'll be yelling. Then it's time to get involved in what I'm sure she feels is an extremely important conversation."

After six years of marriage, AR said he feels that his willingness to pretend to give a shit about what his wife says is vital to the health of their relationship.

"If I didn't sit there in total silence, staring off into the distance but occasionally grunting out an 'Oh yeah?' or a "No kidding,' Lori would probably start to think we have a communication problem," said AR. "Sure, I could just walk out of the room when she starts barking out her meaningless ramblings, but that would be equivalent to just coming right out and saying that she's boring me."

"I pretend to give a shit because I care," AR added.

[chickpea]

I thought I was the only one. Mine takes the form of a black cat and attempts to suck out my soul through my nose. My only weapon against her is this:

You are very fortunate to have forged such a mighty weapon!

Just last night I clubbed my wife over the head and submerged her in the bathtub. I thought my ordeal was finally over with. Unfortunately in a combination of desperation and exhaustion I had forgotten that witches are made of wood and can float.

OMG

[chickpea]

I've been married 21 years and even though he can make me crazier than anyone else in the world I still wouldn't trade him for all the tea in China. Besides I can't get rid of him, I've worked too hard getting him trained right.

[Playitloudforme]

I've been married 21 years and even though he can make me crazier than anyone else in the world I still wouldn't trade him for all the tea in China. Besides I can't get rid of him, I've worked too hard getting him trained right.

... wait... they're TRAINABLE? GezusHFuckin'Krist, why didn't I know this when I bought mine... daaaammmnit! Oh well. Live & learn.

[stevew2]

Area husband pretends to give a shit

Maryland. – Attempting to pacify his wife Lori’s incessant desire for verbal interaction, area husband AR from the melodicrock boards pretended to give a shit Tuesday as his wife of six years initiated and dominated a series of prolonged dialogues regarding an array of unrelated, unimportant subjects.

According to AR, the thoroughly pointless conversation - which comprehensively detailed his wife's work day, lunch experience, plans for the evening and friend's relationship difficulties - took place in the living room of the couple's Maryland home at approximately 6 p.m., shortly after AR began watching television in an effort to unwind from work.
"I love my wife, but Jesus, does she like to talk sometimes," said AR, 38, who works as IT professional for a local firm. "I wanted to just come home [from work] and chill out for awhile, but Lori immediately launches into these long, boring stories about what happened at work and what's going on with a friend of hers and a bunch of other stuff. I just tried to act like I was paying attention and hoped it wouldn't go on too long."

Occasionally retorting with such all-purpose conversation perpetuators as "That's nice, honey" and "No kidding? Huh," AR pretended to give a shit about his wife's exhaustively detailed personal accounts until just after 6:45 p.m., when Lori was forced to interrupt the one-sided exchange to receive a telephone call from her longtime friend Nelly Smith.

"Saved by the bell, I guess you'd say," AR jokingly explained, adding that he used the brief interruption to exit the room and seek solace behind some cardboard boxes in the basement, where he remained for several hours.

AR acknowledged that although the lengthy, expendable conversation depleted a good amount of his after-work leisure time, the 45 minutes spent maintaining a convincing, give-a-shit veneer was not a complete waste.

"I was able to give some thought to a few things I hadn't had time for," said AR, who admitted to mentally drifting light-years away from his wife's inane banter. "While Lori was busy carrying on about God-knows-what, I was trying to figure out the significance of a couple of scenes from the movie Memento, which we had rented a few nights back. I think I've got most of [the plot] figured out now."

"I pretend to give a shit because I care."

In addition to analyzing the storyline of the 2001 feature, AR mentally planned the couple's upcoming camping trip and also reminisced about his 1999 bachelor party weekend in Las Vegas - all the while remembering to nod, say "Yeah," and display other characteristics indicative of a person who is giving a shit.

AR said he often pretends to give a shit about what his wife says.

"Somebody - a guy - once told me that women tend to work things out in their heads by talking things out, so most of the time it isn't really necessary to listen to everything a woman says," said AR. "It's been my experience that the theory usually holds true. So I tend to just keep my mouth shut and let her talk herself out."

Added AR: "Besides, if something's really important to her, I'll pick up on it right away because she'll be yelling. Then it's time to get involved in what I'm sure she feels is an extremely important conversation."

After six years of marriage, AR said he feels that his willingness to pretend to give a shit about what his wife says is vital to the health of their relationship.

"If I didn't sit there in total silence, staring off into the distance but occasionally grunting out an 'Oh yeah?' or a "No kidding,' Lori would probably start to think we have a communication problem," said AR. "Sure, I could just walk out of the room when she starts barking out her meaningless ramblings, but that would be equivalent to just coming right out and saying that she's boring me."

"I pretend to give a shit because I care," AR added.

Ed you learned in six years what took me over twenty.Im getting better at keeping my eyes open. I can still only take about twenty minutes of the intense ramblings

[junky]

"I pretend to give a shit because I care," AR added.

Wow, AR, you're wife is a lucky lady.

When I start to ramble, my husband just puts on his red leather pants and sings Butterfly until I stop.

Talk about abuse.

[lights1961]

"I pretend to give a shit because I care," AR added.

Wow, AR, you're wife is a lucky lady.

When I start to ramble, my husband just puts on his red leather pants and sings Butterfly until I stop.

Talk about abuse.

THATS TORTURE...does he lip???

Rick

[Ratgirl]

"I pretend to give a shit because I care," AR added.

Wow, AR, you're wife is a lucky lady.

When I start to ramble, my husband just puts on his red leather pants and sings Butterfly until I stop.

Talk about abuse.

OMG!! LMAO.. what an image.

[junky]

"I pretend to give a shit because I care," AR added.

Wow, AR, you're wife is a lucky lady.

When I start to ramble, my husband just puts on his red leather pants and sings Butterfly until I stop.

Talk about abuse.

THATS TORTURE...does he lip???

Rick

No, he would never lip.

And he can't sing, so, yes, it's torture.

[Moon Beam]

That last one was killer shakes AR, good work man.



Lori you poor dear woman, God love ya lady.

[*Laura]

"Saved by the bell, I guess you'd say," AR jokingly explained, adding that he used the brief interruption to exit the room and seek solace behind some cardboard boxes in the basement, where he remained for several hours.

That was an instructive interview,AR.

Off to clean up my monitor now...LOL..

[Lady Luck]

When I start to ramble, my husband just puts on his red leather pants and sings Butterfly until I stop.

Talk about abuse.

LMAO! You should have him arrested for that.

[Liam]

Area husband pretends to give a shit

Maryland. – Attempting to pacify his wife Lori’s incessant desire for verbal interaction, area husband AR from the melodicrock boards pretended to give a shit Tuesday as his wife of six years initiated and dominated a series of prolonged dialogues regarding an array of unrelated, unimportant subjects.

According to AR, the thoroughly pointless conversation - which comprehensively detailed his wife's work day, lunch experience, plans for the evening and friend's relationship difficulties - took place in the living room of the couple's Maryland home at approximately 6 p.m., shortly after AR began watching television in an effort to unwind from work.
"I love my wife, but Jesus, does she like to talk sometimes," said AR, 38, who works as IT professional for a local firm. "I wanted to just come home [from work] and chill out for awhile, but Lori immediately launches into these long, boring stories about what happened at work and what's going on with a friend of hers and a bunch of other stuff. I just tried to act like I was paying attention and hoped it wouldn't go on too long."

Occasionally retorting with such all-purpose conversation perpetuators as "That's nice, honey" and "No kidding? Huh," AR pretended to give a shit about his wife's exhaustively detailed personal accounts until just after 6:45 p.m., when Lori was forced to interrupt the one-sided exchange to receive a telephone call from her longtime friend Nelly Smith.

"Saved by the bell, I guess you'd say," AR jokingly explained, adding that he used the brief interruption to exit the room and seek solace behind some cardboard boxes in the basement, where he remained for several hours.

AR acknowledged that although the lengthy, expendable conversation depleted a good amount of his after-work leisure time, the 45 minutes spent maintaining a convincing, give-a-shit veneer was not a complete waste.

"I was able to give some thought to a few things I hadn't had time for," said AR, who admitted to mentally drifting light-years away from his wife's inane banter. "While Lori was busy carrying on about God-knows-what, I was trying to figure out the significance of a couple of scenes from the movie Memento, which we had rented a few nights back. I think I've got most of [the plot] figured out now."

"I pretend to give a shit because I care."

In addition to analyzing the storyline of the 2001 feature, AR mentally planned the couple's upcoming camping trip and also reminisced about his 1999 bachelor party weekend in Las Vegas - all the while remembering to nod, say "Yeah," and display other characteristics indicative of a person who is giving a shit.

AR said he often pretends to give a shit about what his wife says.

"Somebody - a guy - once told me that women tend to work things out in their heads by talking things out, so most of the time it isn't really necessary to listen to everything a woman says," said AR. "It's been my experience that the theory usually holds true. So I tend to just keep my mouth shut and let her talk herself out."

Added AR: "Besides, if something's really important to her, I'll pick up on it right away because she'll be yelling. Then it's time to get involved in what I'm sure she feels is an extremely important conversation."

After six years of marriage, AR said he feels that his willingness to pretend to give a shit about what his wife says is vital to the health of their relationship.

"If I didn't sit there in total silence, staring off into the distance but occasionally grunting out an 'Oh yeah?' or a "No kidding,' Lori would probably start to think we have a communication problem," said AR. "Sure, I could just walk out of the room when she starts barking out her meaningless ramblings, but that would be equivalent to just coming right out and saying that she's boring me."

"I pretend to give a shit because I care," AR added.

That was fuckin' GREAT, dude.

[Blondie]

That was hilarious AR!

[AR]

WARNING - This is what a witch looks like!



They are an evil being, though they pretend to be friendly!



When asked if they are made of wood, they act surprised and try to deflect the question away:



Then they make you purchase expensive evil orbs as tribute to Satan:



Then finally she brings you to the beast, Satan himself - who steals your soul and sends you to eternal damnation.

[Just Mindy]

AR